Chapter Twenty
Brooklyn
Finn and I were in the middle of an It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia binge when my phone chimed.
Shane: Come over.
This was his new thing, texting me every night and telling me to come over. I’d worried that after Wednesday night, things would be weird, but we’d powered through the next day, sticking to our no avoiding or ignoring decree. Today everything was back to normal.
“Normal” being I thought too much about him and occasionally got caught up in staring at his shirtless torso as he worked every single muscle to exhaustion in the gym. The fluttering heart sensation I experienced every time he looked my way or talked to me was also normal.
I glanced at Finn—apparently he was used to me constantly texting during our shows. He didn’t even react.
I rubbed my thumb over my phone screen, debating how to respond. Shane knew I wouldn’t go over, just like he probably knew that each time he demanded that I did, a little more of my resolve got chipped away.
Me: Someone’s forgotten their manners. I’m still not seeing that “please” we talked about. And naughty or not, I’m not going to attempt to teach you a lesson we both know you’ll never learn.
I hit send and bit my thumbnail. I’d replayed our moment in the hallway too many times, but I took the trip there again anyway, to when he held me against him and became my entire center of gravity for a couple of glorious seconds. Sometimes I felt too weak for being tempted in the first place, and for admitting as much as I had to him. Shutting him down had been one of the hardest things I’d ever done, and I’d done it anyway.
I wished it felt more like a win. That night I’d nearly told Shane that I worried slipping with him would destroy me, in more ways than one. It would mean throwing away a perfectly good relationship that’d lasted nearly a year and would end up hurting Trey, who so didn’t deserve that after how great he’d been to me, and would make me a total hypocrite. Admitting my feelings would also leave my heart out there, way too exposed. It’d mess with my head and put me in the same position I’d sworn I’d never put myself in again. His dreams would eclipse mine, and once the inevitable end came, I’d no longer recognize or respect myself. It was hard to start over when you had nothing left, and I never wanted to have to start from scratch again.
No one thought they’d destroy someone, not in the beginning, but it didn’t keep it from happening. There was no way to know how hard we’d crash at the end of the summer, either, and if it would mean a fallout with Team Domination.
Thanks to that last slicing remark from Dad it was definitely on my mind. I couldn’t be responsible for another guy leaving the team and then just walk away so my dad and brothers could deal with the mess. They needed high-paid fighters so they could get paid. Between the books and checking on the bank accounts, I knew we needed the money.
Shane: You leave me no option but to come hunt you down.
Me: Bad idea. I’m at Finn’s apartment and so is Finn.
Shane: All the more reason for you to come over.
Shane: But thanks for the info. You’ve got twenty minutes to show up on my doorstep, or I’ll be over to make a scene.
Me: I do not negotiate with terrorists. Evasive maneuvers will be taken. You’ve been warned.
Finn paused the TV, freezing the gang in the middle of some kind of shenanigans that would end up going badly for everyone involved. “Your smile is so big it’s distracting. Do you want to take an intermission to talk to your boyfriend?”
I shook my head, the guilt that was quickly becoming my constant companion surging to the forefront once again at the mention of Trey. “No, I’m okay.” I slipped my phone into my pocket, and the vibration against my hip made it impossible not to wonder what Shane had texted back. Finn gave me a skeptical side-eye. “I’m antsy, that’s all. We never do anything. Just gym and couch, and don’t get me wrong, couch is nice, but…it’s Friday night.”
“It has been a while since I’ve been out. Should I call the boys and have them meet us at the Fainting Goat?”
“Yes. Let’s go to the bar.” I couldn’t help but hope Shane was one of the boys, regardless of the fact that it’d probably be better for all parties involved if he wasn’t.
Finn sent out a group text, and a few seconds later, my phone vibrated again. Unable to stand it any longer, I slipped it out of my pocket.
Shane: Please show me these maneuvers of yours. (Note the use of “please”) Now, will you come over and reward me for being a good pupil?
Shane: Finn just texted about heading to the Fainting Goat. It’ll make it easier to hunt you down if you’re going to be there, I suppose. I’m also willing to collect my reward there. Unless that means your place is free?
Me: I’ll see you at the bar.
It was only after I’d thrown on my tightest jeans, my black and floral print tank top with the built in bustier that showed off the girls, and was standing in the doorway in my tallest heels that I realized with my brothers there to witness everything between Shane and me, this was probably one of those bad ideas I tended to be making more and more often.