“Come on and just pick one already,” Bree whines through the dressing room door where Courtney is currently trying on yet another dress.
Bree, who’s less than five weeks away from giving birth, picked out her dress after trying on a whopping two. She settled on a light blue, knee-length number that’s fitted in the bust and flows out over her belly. Even at eight months pregnant she looks gorgeous in it. Even though I can tell the pregnancy is wearing on her internally, externally she looks beautiful. Pregnancy really suits her.
“This is prom. It needs to be perfect,” Courtney retorts, coming out of the dressing room wearing a floor-length red gown that does wonders for her complexion. She looks stunning. Then again, she looked stunning in the last twenty dresses she’s walked out in as well.
“That one.” Bree smiles, her feet stretched out in front of her as she lounges in one of the dressing room chairs, her hands splayed across her belly.
“Yeah?” Court questions, turning to look at herself in the floor-length mirror in the corner.
“Definitely,” I agree, hoping maybe she’ll actually take our advice this time.
I, like Bree, picked my dress pretty quickly, only trying on a handful before settling on the perfect one. It’s a strapless pink gown that hits me about mid-calf. It’s simple and elegant which is completely my style. I’m not nearly as flashy as my two best friends. Then again, I never have been.
“I think you’re right.” Courtney stares at herself for a long moment, nodding in approval.
“Thank god.” Bree sighs loudly. “Do you see how swollen my feet are?” She holds up a flip flop-covered foot, her ankles about twice their normal size.
“God, I’m never having kids,” Courtney says, shaking her head.
“Yeah, right,” I disagree. “You say that now. Give it a few years.”
Courtney starts to object but is quickly cut off when Bree abruptly announces, “I’m moving to California.”
Not really sure where this is coming from, at first I’m not sure if I believe her. I can tell that Courtney is right there with me.
“Shut up.” Courtney snorts.
“I’m serious. As soon as the baby is born. Honestly, I’m only staying that long because my doctor is here.” She says, looking up to where the two of us are standing completely blindsided by her announcement.
“Wait, you’re serious?” I question, my chest tightening.
“I am. I can’t subject this child to what I grew up with. I won’t. And honestly, I’m scared that if I stay here Blake will try to take the baby from me just out of spite. I think it’s the right decision all around. My grandparents’ have already cleared out a room for me and the baby and have talked to the local high school about me transferring for senior year.”
“You’re really leaving?” Courtney blurts, still not seeming to fully process the news.
“I am.” Tears swim in Bree’s eyes as she stands.
I can tell she’s trying like hell to hold it together. She’s cried more times since she’s been pregnant than I’ve seen her cry during our entire friendship. I know it drives her crazy because she’s never been one to show a lot of emotion.
“Trust me, the last thing I want to do is leave the two of you.” She closes the distance between us, taking my hand in one of hers and Courtney’s hand in the other. “But if I’m going to give this baby the best chance at a good life, I have to get it away from my mother and Blake. My grandparents’ have already agreed to watch the baby during the day so I can go to school and graduate normally. I think this is the right choice all around.”
“Bree.” I fight back my own tears.
“You can’t leave us,” Courtney interjects, her voice swimming with emotion as well. “It’s always been the three of us.”
“And it always will be,” She squeezes both of our hands. “I will come back and visit from time to time, and you guys can always come to visit me in California.”
“But nugget.” Court rests her free hand on Bree’s belly. “We won’t get to see him grow up.”
“Yes, you will. I will send pictures, and we will see each other as often as we can. Besides, this isn’t forever. This is just until I can establish myself on my own two feet and become stable enough to provide a life for this baby.”
“I don’t like it.” I finally find my voice again. “But I get it. And I’m proud of you.” I force a smile. “You’re going to be an amazing mother.”
“Thank you.” The tears Bree has been holding back finally spill over and once they do, mine and Courtney’s follow.
It’s so hard to imagine my life without Bree in it. She’s always been there, her and Courtney both. Now, not only am I losing Sebastian, I’m also losing one of my best friends—someone who is like a sister to me.
What started out as a fun, carefree day has morphed into an emotionally heavy and mentally exhausting one. By the time we leave the dress store just a few minutes later, all I want to do is go home and try to forget that next month is going to be one of the hardest I’ve ever had to face.
Unfortunately, Courtney insists we all go out to dinner afterward, so it’s well after nine o’clock in the evening by the time she drops me off outside of my house. I throw her a half wave before making my way up toward the front porch, surprised to find Sebastian sitting on the steps waiting for me.
I jog toward him, knowing that after the day I’ve had he’s the only person I want to see. That is until I spot the bottle of whiskey dangling from his fingers.
“Sebastian?” I question hesitantly, knowing immediately that something isn’t right. “What are you doing here?”
“I didn’t have anywhere else to go. I just couldn’t stay there. I couldn’t stay there another second,” he mutters more to himself than to me, taking a long drag from the bottle.
“Hey.” I take a seat next to him on the steps, angling my body to face him. “What’s going on? Talk to me.” I slide my hand across his shoulders.
“I can’t do this. I can’t fucking be who everyone thinks I should be. I’m going insane.” He pounds on the side of his head with a closed fist, the abruptness of his actions cause me to jump slightly.
“Sebastian. You’re drunk. Why don’t you come inside and we can talk?” I suggest, not realizing how inebriated he is until this very moment.
“I don’t want to fucking talk!” His voice echoes around us, his menacing gaze finding mine.
I can honestly say that I’ve never been afraid of Sebastian, but there’s something scary about the way he’s looking at me right now—his eyes full of rage and unpredictability.
“Okay, then tell me what I can do?” I try another angle, not really knowing how to approach him in this mind state. I’ve never seen him anywhere close to this drunk before, and it’s clear something happened to make him want to drown himself in a bottle of whiskey.
“Unless you can somehow magically grant me new parents, there’s nothing you can do,” he bites, taking another long drink.
“What happened, Sebastian? Did your father do something?” I ask, knowing things haven’t been easy for him on the home front recently.
Things have gotten much worse between him and his father since his parents learned that he had accepted the offer from LSU. Sebastian knew that losing the control over his future was going to be a tough pill for his father to swallow, but I don’t think even he expected the backlash he’s gotten because of it.
“Define do something?” he says flatly, staring straight ahead.
“Please talk to me?” I plead, wrapping my hand around his bicep in an effort to get him to look at me.
“What do you want me to say, Tess? That I’m the biggest disappointment in the world? How having me was the biggest mistake of my father’s life? That he wishes I had never been born?”
I open my mouth to say something but can’t find any words. I knew Jonathan Baxter was a piece of work, but this is a new low even for him. The anger I feel boiling in my chest only increases the pain I feel for Sebastian. How any father could say those things to his son is beyond me.
“Fuck. He’s right, isn’t he? I am a fucking disappointment,” he adds bitterly.
“No, you’re not. Don’t say that.” I quickly reposition myself in front of him, taking his face in my hands as I force him to meet my gaze. “You are not a disappointment, Sebastian, not to me. You are the most driven, talented person I’ve ever met, and I am in awe of you every single day. You make me want to be more like you. You make me want to fight for the things I want and believe that I can do anything. You did that, Sebastian.”
“Did I?” His voice softens. “Because from where I’m sitting you’re just another person in a long line of people I’ve let down.”
“How did you let me down?” I argue, not letting him look away when he tries.
“I chose college over you?” He phrases it like a question.
“No, you chose to better our future by doing what’s right for you right now. You’re right to follow your dreams. You’re not choosing anything over me, you’re choosing it for me.”
“If you believe that then you’re even more delusional than I thought.” His words are like a slap across the face, and I immediately let my hands fall away. “I chose it for me. Because that’s what I do, I make everything about me.”
“You’re the least selfish person I know,” I insist, not letting his attempt to hurt me get in the way of talking him off the ledge. He’s trying to push me away, and I won’t let him self-implode because of some bullshit his dad said to him.
“No, I’m not, Tess.” He stands abruptly causing me to stumble backward a couple of steps. “I shouldn’t have come here.” He takes off through the yard toward his Jeep which I just now notice is parked across the street from my neighbor’s house.
“Sebastian,” I holler after him, following close behind. “Sebastian,” I try again when he crosses the street and throws open the driver’s side door. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I make a grab at the nearly empty whiskey bottle, managing to catch him off guard enough to yank it free.
“What the fuck, Tess,” he roars, grabbing for the bottle but missing it by a centimeter.
Launching the bottle as hard as I can, it hits the curb on the other side of the street and shatters into a million pieces.
Sebastian just stares at me wide-eyed for what feels like an eternity before the realization of what I just did seems to catch up to him, by which time I’m already trying to wrangle the keys from his hand.
“What the fuck, Tess,” he repeats again as he rips his hand out of my grasp.
“Give me the keys, Sebastian,” I seethe, doing everything in my power to pull his arm down so I can reach his hand.
“Get the hell off me,” he growls, attempting to climb into the Jeep.
“You are not going anywhere right now.” I practically crawl into his lap, still fighting to get the keys away from him.
“The fuck if I’m not.” He lets out a roar before he’s lifting me in the air and depositing me on the street in one swift movement.
I don’t even know how he manages it. One minute I’m halfway inside the Jeep, the next I’m far enough away that he’s able to swing the door shut without hitting me with it. I immediately make a move to open it again, but Sebastian quickly locks it seconds before the engine purrs to life.
“Sebastian.” I beat on the driver’s side window. “Please don’t do this. Please,” I plead, knowing half the neighborhood can probably hear me right now.
Running to the other side of the car, I manage to get the passenger side door open just as he pops the Jeep into drive. Realizing his mistake of not locking all the doors, he slams the vehicle back into park and turns his blazing glare on me.
“Get the fuck out of the car, Tess,” he practically screams in my face.
I’m a little taken aback by the way he comes at me but quickly retaliate.
“NO!” I yell back twice as loud. “I’m not going to let you do this. I’m not going to let you push me away because of some fight you had with your father. Newsflash—I AM NOT YOUR FATHER. I don’t give a shit what he says about you, Sebastian. None of it is true. Do you hear me? None of it.”
“Please, Tess. Just get out of the car. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Then tell me, Sebastian. Just talk to me.”
“I can’t!” His temper starts to slip. “Don’t you see that! You would never understand.”
“Why? Because I don’t have a father,” I bite, knowing full well that’s not what he meant but letting my emotions get the better of me.
“Exactly, Tess.” He throws his hands up in exasperation. “Because you don’t have a father.” His tone drips with sarcasm. “Just get the fuck out of the car so I can leave before I say something I can’t take back.”
“What? Say it. Say what it is you want to say, Sebastian,” I press on, knowing I shouldn’t, but I’m unable to stop myself.
This situation is spiraling out of control, and honestly, I have no explanation for why it even started to begin with. We’ve argued before, of course, but we’ve never fought like this. Nowhere even close to it. In fact, until tonight, I can’t remember a time when Sebastian has even raised his voice at me, let alone yelled right in my face.
A part of me knows it’s the alcohol talking, but it’s impossible not to take every single word and action as a slice to my heart. This is not my Sebastian. This is not the boy who just yesterday looked at me like I was the only thing in the world he could see.
I have no idea who this person is, and that thought scares me more than anything else.
“Get out of the car, Tess,” he demands again.
“I am not letting you drive like this. If I have to sit in this car all night I will, but I refuse to let you risk your life or someone else’s because you insist on behaving like a lunatic. Grow up, Sebastian!”
“Tess,” he warns, his voice low, “so help me if you don’t get the fuck out of this car right now…”
“What, Sebastian?” I cut him off. “What could you possibly do to me that’s worse than what you’re doing right now? Do you even hear yourself?”
“Get. Out. Of. The. Fucking. Car. Tess.” He punctuates each word.
“No,” I repeat in the same tone.
“Then you leave me no fucking choice.” With that, he pops the Jeep into drive and takes off like a bat out of hell.
I scramble to get my seat belt on, not for even one second considering that he would drive away with me still in the car. It just goes to show he’s way beyond the point of talking down. It’s clear he’s not in his right mind, not even a little bit. I know deep down Sebastian would never put me in danger, but the fact that he’s now speeding through town so drunk he can’t keep the Jeep in his own lane tells me I made a huge mistake in thinking I could control this Sebastian.
“Please pull over, Sebastian. Please!” I plead, hanging on to the door when he takes a corner too fast and nearly flips us. I can feel the passenger side wheels come up off the ground seconds before they slam back down, causing the vehicle to bounce.
“Sebastian!” I scream, panic starting to set in.
This is it. It’s all I can think. This is how I’m going to die. I can see it so perfectly. And yet, I wouldn’t go back and change my decision to get into this car. If it means there’s even a chance I can stop this insanity then it was worth the risk.
“Sebastian.” I soften my approach, reaching out to touch his arm.
He jumps at the contact, flipping his gaze to mine. As if the reality of what is happening hits him like a ton of bricks, I can see the panic flash across his face seconds before the Jeep is screeching to a halt just on the outskirts of town.
I don’t have time to think about myself or the fact that my heart feels like it’s going to explode inside my chest from how quickly it’s beating. All that matters is Sebastian. The way he crumbles in his seat, a sob tearing from his throat.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!” he screams into his hands.
I don’t know what to do.
Do I comfort him?
Do I let him get it out?
How do I fix this?
I don’t even have time to answer my own question before I see the red and blue lights behind us. Sebastian seems to notice them the same time I do and when his gaze finally meets mine, I swear I can physically feel my heart splitting inside my chest.
“I’m so sorry, Tess. I’m so fucking sorry.” It’s all he has time to say before he’s being removed from the vehicle.
Minutes later he’s placed in handcuffs and shoved into the backseat of the police car while I’m forced to stand here and watch helplessly, knowing there’s not one thing I can do to help him.
I don’t think I’ve ever been more scared for someone in my entire life. But it’s not only Sebastian that I’m scared for, I’m scared for me as well. I’m scared what this means for him. But more than anything I’m scared what this means for us.