Sebastian Baxter is holding my hand.
Sebastian Baxter… The undisputed hottest guy in school is choosing to spend time with me over indulging in one of the many girls here tonight that I’m sure are eager to warm his bed. I suddenly feel like I’m living in an alternate reality.
Sebastian leads me down a long, wooded trail that after several yards opens up to reveal a stunning lake view. The sight of the full moon beaming off the water is beautiful, and for the first time since Sebastian opened his mouth and made his presence known on the balcony, I feel myself starting to relax.
To say that going off on my own with a guy who has a reputation like Sebastian’s is out of character for me would be the understatement of the year, but something about the way those hazel eyes look at me has rendered my resolve nonexistent.
“Sebastian, this is incredible,” I find myself saying without even meaning to.
I can’t help it. Not when we approach a long dock that stretches out into the water, two layback lounge chairs positioned at the end. This place is like a dream. Everything is so still and peaceful, the noise from the house a distant memory.
“This is probably my favorite spot.” He throws me a sideways smile, his hand not releasing mine until we reach the chairs.
“I can see why,” I admit, taking the seat he gestures to, pulling my legs up in front of myself as I watch him claim the seat next to me.
“Sometimes the world just gets too chaotic.” He lay back in his seat, feet stretched out in front of him, and arms behind his head as he stares up at the star-filled sky. “This is the only place that makes me feel—normal,” he admits, the vulnerability in his tone taking me by surprise.
“And here I had you pegged for some hot shot who had everything he ever wanted,” I tease, mirroring his action as I lie back in my own chair and focus my gaze upward.
“Trust me, Tessa; my life’s far from perfect.” The use of my full name does something unexplainable to me. It sounds so different coming off his lips.
But I also can’t deny the spark of anger that lights deep in my belly. Some people just have no idea how good they have it.
“Then enlighten me. What more could you possibly want?” I ask, gesturing around. “You’ve got money and all the perks that come along with it. You’re an incredible athlete and will no doubt be able to play for any college you want. Every guy wants to be you. Every girl wants to be with you. Forgive me for saying this, but if you don’t see how incredibly good you’ve got it, maybe you should look a little harder.”
“What was it you said to me earlier—that people aren’t always so black and white?” He turns his gaze toward me. I can feel his eyes burning into the side of my face, but I keep my eyes focused on the sky. “I think you’d be surprised to learn that I’m probably furthest from the person you think I am.”
“Sounds like a bunch of talk to me.” I shrug.
“And you would know this how?” The playfulness in his voice pulls my gaze to him. I suck in a hard breath when I see him staring at me with a look I can’t quite describe—like he can see right through my façade to the weak, scared girl beneath.
“Action, Mr. Baxter. Action.” I grin when his eyes widen, a hint of mischief behind them. “Words are easy, meaningless. But action. Action is what makes you who you are.”
“And what do my actions show you?” He rolls to his side, his eyes now locked solely on me.
“That you’re cocky and arrogant. That you don’t have to wonder if you’re good enough—on the football field or off—you know you are. That you devalue girls to nothing more than what they can give you in bed. That you have the world at your feet and yet have no appreciation for it. You walk around like you own the world, Sebastian. That doesn’t strike me as someone who doesn’t believe they have it all.”
I expect my words to offend him, piss him off even, so when a slow smile creeps across his handsome face I’m left wondering once again if I have just completely misjudged him.
“I like you,” he finally speaks after several long moments.
“Um. Thank you?” I say more as a question than a statement.
“I mean it, Tess. Do you have any idea how long it’s been since someone has told me exactly what they think of me? It’s fucking refreshing.” His smile widens. “Keep going.”
“Keep going?” I look at him like he has five heads.
“I like this game.” He runs a hand through his perfect sun-kissed blond hair, his hazel eyes never leaving mine.
“Are we playing a game?” I question, suddenly more nervous than ever.
“You tell me,” he challenges, that damn smile still etched across his perfect face.
I look at him for several long moments, silence stretching between us. I’m not sure what to say to that. I’ve never had someone make me feel so twisted up inside, and I have to admit as much as I hate that it’s Sebastian making me feel this way, it also feels good just to feel something.
“Can I ask you something?” he asks, reaching between our chairs to retrieve the bottle of whiskey he brought with him.
“Okay.” I stretch out, butterflies swimming wildly in my stomach.
“Is what Dylan said about you true?” His question is like a slap back to reality, but I try to hold my composure and not let him see just how affected I am by it.
“You’ll need to be more specific. Last time I checked he had quite a few things to say,” I grind out.
“Have you really never slept with anyone before?” he asks, his question a little shocking but surprisingly not unexpected.
“Are you seriously asking me if I’m a virgin right now?” I cock a brow, not sure what he’s getting at.
“A guy likes to know these things.” He clearly finds humor in my reaction.
“Why, so you can up your game and try to be the one to rob me of my virtue.” I grab the whiskey bottle from his hands before he can even get it to his lips.
Taking a long pull, I ignore the burn—loving the warmth that spreads through my body as I shove the bottle back into his hand.
“I don’t rob virtue.” He chuckles. “It’s given to me.”
“Well if you think I’m giving it to you, you’re barking up the wrong tree.” I cross my arms over my chest and look back up at the sky.
“So then it’s true?” I can hear the smile in his voice.
“Oh my God. Yes, it’s true. Are you happy now?” I throw my hands up in the air as I push into an upright position, my gaze once again going to the handsome and yet infuriating man next to me.
“Quite.” He smiles, relaxing back in his chair, the bottle of Jack still in his hand.
“Typical.” I shake my head, mirroring his action as I lean back.
“Despite what you may believe, Tess, I’m not as bad as you think I am. I don’t make it my mission to just fuck girls. I can’t help it if they throw themselves at me. Who am I to discriminate? If a girl wants me and knows what I’m offering, then that’s on her. I don’t lie, and I don’t waste my time wooing a girl I only have an interest in fucking. If I’m gonna make the effort it’s gonna be for someone worth more than that.”
I turn my head to the side, taking in his sincere expression as he stares up at the stars.
“So is this you wooing me then?” I tease, just trying to lighten the mood back up.
I never intended for it to get so heavy, but here recently that seems to be my specialty. Maybe I should actually listen to Courtney and Bree when they tell me I need to lighten up a little.
“Maybe.” He shrugs, giving me a grin that makes my heart do flips inside my chest. “How I’m doing so far?”
“I give you a three out of ten,” I tease.
“Damn, sounds like I need to step up my game.” The grin turns into a full smile, showing off his perfectly straight white teeth.
God, I swear I could spend forever looking at that smile.
I’ve spent two years harboring a secret crush on this guy and now that he’s here next to me, surprising me in ways I never thought possible, I want him even more. I think that scares me more than anything. Because with a guy like Sebastian Baxter, nothing is guaranteed.
“I guess so.” I can’t stop myself from playing right into his hands. What can I say? I’m not nearly as immune to Sebastian as I pretend to be. I think even the strongest girl would buckle under those gorgeous hazels and perfect smile.
“So, Tessa, tell me what it will take to win you over?”
I ignore the giddy feeling that’s swimming through me and try to keep my composure.
“I don’t think you can handle a girl like me.” I give him a smirk, not sure where all this fire is suddenly coming from.
It’s Sebastian. It has to be. He makes me feel a way that no one has ever made me feel before—and we haven’t done anything but spend the last half an hour bantering back and forth. How does he do it?
“Considering you seem to know everything about me, I would’ve thought you would’ve picked up that I’m not someone who backs away from a challenge,” he warns.
“So I’m a challenge to you, is that it?” I quip.
“Among other things.” He snags his bottom lip between his teeth, and I swear it lights a fire under my skin.
“Care to enlighten me?” I can’t stop smiling now, no matter how hard I try to fight it.
“All in due time, pretty girl. All in due time.”
“That’s all I get?” I object when he settles back into his chair and looks up at the sky.
“It’s all about where the night ends, Tess—never how it begins.”
“Are we talking in riddles now?” I question, sinking further into my chair, my eyes never leaving the side of his face.
“I’m just saying, I’ve got all night to change your mind. One night is all I need.”
“You sound pretty sure of yourself. Who’s to say I’m not getting ready to get up and leave right now. In case you missed it, there’s a pretty kick ass party going on right through those woods.” I point behind me.
“If there’s one thing I do not lack in this world, Tess, it’s confidence.” When he flips his gaze back to me, I swear my entire stomach bottoms out. “And if you were going to leave, you would’ve done it already. So why don’t you do us both a favor and stop pretending like you’re not enjoying every minute of this as much as I am.”
“You’re something else, you know that?” My lips betray me once more, the stupid smile pulling them up giving away exactly what he’s doing to me.
“You have no idea,” he promises.
“So, if you’re planning to keep me out here all night, the least you can do is stop playing your little games. I see right through you,” I counter.
“I think you’ll be surprised to find you don’t know me nearly as well as you think you do. But because I don’t feel up for getting into that tonight, why don’t you tell me more about you.” He lifts the bottle of Jack to his lips, taking a long pull before offering me the bottle.
I take it, drinking more than I should before passing it back to him, only now truly realizing the buzz running through my veins. I wouldn’t say I’m drunk,
not by a long shot, but I’m certainly feeling the effects more than I’ve been letting on.
“I’m pretty boring,” I admit, keeping my gaze on the sky.
“Now why do I find that hard to believe?” I can hear the smile in his voice, but I keep my focus off him. I need to keep a semi-clear head, and when I look at him I swear everything goes wonky.
“You shouldn’t, it’s true.” I shrug.
“Well, let’s say for argument's sake that you’re wrong.”
“I’m not, but by all means—ask away.” I sigh.
“How about we just start with the basics. You know: childhood, your home life, favorite kind of music. You get the idea.”
“So you can see just how boring I actually am. Okay,” I concede. “I’ve lived here my whole life. It’s just me and Mom, has been since I was little.”
“Your dad?” he asks before I can keep going.
“Died when I was six, car accident.”
“I’m sorry,” he offers, his voice softer than before.
“I don’t really remember him. My mom rarely talks about him. I think it’s easier for her to pretend like he never existed. I don’t know. I never really understood it.” I pause, letting the moment settle around us. “Anyway, my mom is a pediatric nurse for Sanderson General in Montgomery,” I say, referring to the next town over. “She works third shift and a lot of twelve hour days, so sometimes I’ll go a handful of days without seeing her because of the way our schedules work.”
“Sounds lonely,” he observes, rolling to his side to look at me.
I hesitate for only a moment before doing the same, loving the way his hazel eyes hold mine so intently.
“It’s not so bad. I have Courtney and Bree, who are more like my sisters than my best friends.”
“Is that why they ditched you tonight?” There’s no insult in his tone, he just seems genuinely curious.
“That’s just how we are. When I need them, they’re always there. And they know I’m a big girl and can take care of myself. Besides, they love to have fun, and I don’t want to be the Debbie Downer who holds them back.”
“Sounds like they don’t deserve you.”
“They do,” I instantly object. “More than you can know.”
“Fair enough.” He takes my answer for what it is. “Keep going,” he encourages.
“You’re not bored yet?” I ask, tucking a hand under my cheek.
“Not even a little bit.” He smiles.
“Fine.” I let out a deep breath, trying to figure out where to go next. “Let’s see. I love indie music. I’m a sucker for old television shows. And if I could, I’d spend every second of every day losing myself in a book—preferably a thriller or something dark and demented.”
“You’re kidding me, right?” He laughs like he can’t believe it.
“What?” I question playfully.
“You look so sweet and innocent.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“I just never expected you to be someone who liked—well, any of the things you just listed.”
“Guess it goes to show you can’t judge a book by its cover,” I remind him.
“You realize that goes both ways.” He narrows his gaze at me.
“Okay then, prove me wrong,” I suggest. “Tell me something about you that will surprise me.”
“Truth?” he asks.
“Truth.”
“I hate parties,” he says, his admission not what I expected.
“Really?” I question, gesturing back up toward the house.
“I know. I know.” He chuckles. “That’s just more of a fuck you to my parents’. Figure if they’re going to pretend like I don’t exist, I might as well show them I damn well do.”
“Sebastian.” My voice wavers as I stare back at the boy I always thought to be so confident, wondering now if we aren’t more alike than I would have ever guessed.
“It’s fine,” he quickly interjects. “It’s been this way my entire life. I’m used to it.”
“But,” I start.
“It’s fine. Really,” he cuts me off, clearly not wanting to linger on the topic.
As much as I want to push, I let it go. I know how hard it can be to talk about things you’re not used to sharing with anybody.
I change the topic to safer ground, asking him more about football and if he has any idea where he wants to go to college since he’s getting ready to start senior year. The conversation flows from there and by well into the night, I’ve learned so much more about him than I ever expected to know.
How he loves football because it’s the only place he feels like he truly belongs.
How he misses California tremendously and how hard it was for him to leave. How he plans to move back there someday.
How he can’t wait for college and while LSU is his dream school, he doesn’t even really care where he attends as long as he gets to play football.
We talk for hours, both of us curled on our sides in opposite chairs, facing each other. We talk until time no longer seems relevant and everything else just kind of slips away.
I don’t know at what point we fall silent, existing in a comfortable space where neither of us feels the need for words.
All I remember is staring at Sebastian until I physically couldn’t hold my eyes open any longer, wondering if I would wake up tomorrow and find that all of this was just some crazy dream.
Sebastian said it only takes one night to change everything; he couldn’t have been more right. Because after just one night everything feels different.