Chapter 19
She was not coming. Unable to sit still, Ian paced the chamber yet again and was certain Claire would not come. Ian did not believe Nolen held any interest for her, but an offer such as his would give any lass a reason to think, to think of what she should have and remember what he could not give. How could I have believed she would be content with so little? Had I been a better laird the last few years, I would have been able to offer her all.
There could be many reasons she is late, and late is better than not coming. Maybe Neala had some need of her assistance. They are a fine pair who share in the duties of the household. Maybe Claire is with Cerwyn, even now asleep in the chair before the fire in the nursery. The wee one loves her, too. These are far better thoughts than the other. The thought that she sits with Nolen as he convinces her to . . . No, not that thought.
The nursery was the first place he planned to check. Ian strode to the door with full resolve to find his woman. He would find her, and all would be as it should, even if he had to drag her back to this chamber.
Claire’s hand had almost reached the latch on the door when it swung open. She released a startled cry as Ian stepped back to allow her entry. She could see it written on his face. Everything Hagan had said was true.
“I was coming to look for you,” Ian stated with no emotion in his voice.
Closing the door behind her, she replied, “I’m sorry it’s so late.” Claire’s only impulse was to act as if nothing had changed, and it was the truth. Nothing had changed. With the lock secure, she bent to untie and remove her boots. She had done this every night since their first night. It had become something of a joke between them. Tonight it brought no laughter. Ian stood still without uttering a sound.
Every word Hagan spoke was true. Ian believed she wanted what Nolen offered. His stance confirmed it all; hands clenched by his sides, the usual sparkle in his brilliant green eyes was dimmed. He just stared at her. For the first time, she felt the cold of the stone floor beneath her bare feet. His chamber had always seemed so warm every other time she had set foot inside.
She thought about how she could start the conversation. She could laugh at his irrational fear; he knew she didn’t even like being near Nolen, but that wasn’t how she and Ian worked together. They never mocked each other. She could get angry at his doubt, but the rules were different here in this time and place. Nolen made an offer that Hagan should have welcomed. Claire understood Ian’s fear. She understood now why he verbally claimed her every time they made love. His body never entered hers until she gave him the words he needed to feel secure. A smile crept over her face at the realization that this muscular, brave, warrior laird carried all the same emotional fears and uncertainties she did.
Claire stepped to stand before Ian. Her toes dug into the furs that she stood upon, and her hands moved slowly to the sides of his face. She pulled him down to meet her gaze. Enunciating each word carefully and clearly, she said, “Ian, I am yours.” She placed a soft kiss against his lips and pulled back to wait for his response.
Without hesitation, Ian pulled her to him and almost crushed her in his tight grip. She felt his inhale of her hair. “Aye, sweeting.”
His hands sought what they did every night. They moved to release her hair from its binding while his fingers combed out the day’s braid. There was no time to reply as his lips found hers. Ian captured her mouth with his. The kiss seared her lips as if branding her with his desire.
In a flash, he stole her air and ended any rational thought she might have wished to have. His hands plunged into her hair while and somehow simultaneously unlaced her gown. Fabric ripped in his hands, but she had no idea if it was her gown or his shirt that bore the brunt of his physical strength.
She felt the jolt of their bare bodies colliding and the blissful sensation ignited a kiss complete with lips, tongues, and teeth. While she knew sex would never resolve a communication issue, it seemed to be his way of proving she was his alone, something she was more than happy to reinforce.
Claire’s feet left the fur rug, and with no encouragement, her legs wrapped around his waist. Her body covered his on the bed while his frenzied physical demands became hers. If Ian needed, then so did she; such was the blessing and the curse of their bond.
Her hands gripped onto his shoulders, and the mandated phrase left her lips because she wanted to say it as badly as he needed to hear it. “I am yours.”
The sensation of his woman wrapped around him was almost too much to bear. Claire’s hips lifted and took all of him as he moved to meet her. So many sleepless nights he had pictured this in his mind just like this, the way he had wanted her so badly that first night at the inn. Her skin was unbelievably soft, the muscles of her legs wrapped around him, and his mind and body were lost in this sacred union with his woman.
He pulled her hips hard against him as her cries filled the chamber. Ian was lost in the ecstasy of her pleasure as his body screamed for release. He roared her name and did not care how loud his cries were. Ian held her tightly to his chest and waited for their breathing to slow while she trembled in his arms.
Resting her cheek along his, she whispered softly in his ear, “No offer will ever change how I feel about you. You are the only man I will ever want. I love you, Ian.”
The shudder ripped through him as she spoke. With his forehead resting on hers, he said, “The words you offer are so much sweeter than any I could have asked for, sweeting. I have always kenned of our love, but to have such words spoken fills my heart beyond measure. You have held my heart and my love from the beginning.” Ian fell back onto the bed and kept his woman snug in his embrace.
Claire was alone on the bed only long enough for him to wash their loving away and grab the cup of wine. Peace filled his soul as he snuggled under the soft linens of the bed with her tucked into his side. Had he been asked that morn, Ian would have sworn he knew true contentment. Now he was aware how wrong he had been. This was the peace a man sought at the end of the day, lying wrapped in the arms of the woman he loved, secure in the knowledge that she loved him as well.
Ian nuzzled into her hair as she asked, “Why are you so smiley?”
“Aye, sweeting, the smile cannot find enough room on my face. For a time this night my heart held such fear. Never could I explain it to you. Now, I lay here holding the woman I love with the knowledge she loves me in return. Such a sweet feeling has consumed me that I am near to bursting with joy.”
Claire cupped his face in her hands. “I was afraid of what you would be thinking. Please don’t doubt me again, Ian.”
“‘Twas foolish of me. I kenned it at the time but could nay stop myself. No more doubts. Only us together, ‘tis all that matters.” He held her tightly and asked, “What kept you this night? Why were you so late?”
“I was with your sister. No one told her about us. I should have, but with not seeing Aliana for the last few days, I forgot she didn’t know.”
Well aware of the fire Aliana possessed, Ian said, “I am assuming this was nay a pleasant conversation.” He wondered how he could have been so foolish. His sister hated not knowing anything and was well known to react badly to almost everything.
With a soft laugh, Claire said, “Honestly, it started very badly. Things were said that I never expected. If Hagan had not arrived when he did . . . let’s just say he broke it up just in time.”
“It pains me to hear you argued with Aliana, sweeting. It has been apparent from your arrival that a bond was forming between the two of you. Is there peace now or should I go speak with her?”
“It’s fine now, Ian. I told her the truth, all of it, how we met and where I am from. I think the shock of it took any anger away. Things are fine now.”
Regret that he had left Claire vulnerable to anyone filled him. “Forgive me. I should have spoken with my sister. On the morrow I will ensure that there is no misunderstanding. She should also hear all of this from me.”
“No offense, but I think she’ll be looking for me. There may be a question or two she has to ask.”
“Now you ken why we did not speak of your home to my sister. Her questions are likely to continue for days.” A part of Ian could not fathom how Claire was able to forgive Aliana’s outburst. In his mind, he could assume what had been said. He knew his sister too well. Yet they lay wrapped in an intimate embrace, skin to skin, and laughing about it. With a soft kiss to her hair, he enjoyed her soft breath against his neck and the feel of the skin of her back and hip as his hands softly roamed.
“So it seems jumping to the wrong conclusion is a family trait,” Claire teased as she placed a kiss against his throat.
Once again there was laughter in his chamber. “So it would seem, sweeting. My sister and I both need to ask first and judge later. Let us put the foul part of the day behind us.” The lack of reply from her made him question, “Was there more to your argument?”
“Aliana said something, but never mind, I’m sure it doesn’t matter,” Claire answered.
Brushing the hair from her forehead to place a soft kiss, he said, “‘Tis something if it makes you this quiet.”
Claire snuggled closer. “Your sister was angry and probably just trying to make me mad.” Ian pulled her body away from his side and forced her to meet his gaze. She reluctantly continued, “She asked if I was like the others, just one more woman you talked into bed.”
Ian could only smile at the comment until the moment Claire looked away from him. “Sweeting, you misunderstand.” He forced her gaze back to him. “My sister was only speaking from anger. Aliana has never seen me talk a woman into bed. There is no denying I have bedded others, but never here within our chamber. And you will never find a lass who can lay claim to any part of my heart. I have saved that for you. You are all to me, Claire. Whatever was past has no hold on me.”
“I think I understand what you’re saying. I’m sorry I brought it up.”
“‘Tis nay over until your body seeks my warmth.” Ian noted the distance between them. “I have loved only you.”
Once again, she snuggled against his chest and tucked her head under his chin. “This can be over as soon as you stop talking about it.”
“‘Tis over. We are both fools. You have jealousy over something that meant naught to me. While I fear another man, a man you dislike, for making an offer of marriage. Mayhap we should just play chess.”
“Deal. Tomorrow night we play chess, and tonight we can agree on being fools.” With a light kiss to his chest, she said, “I meant it, Ian. No offer will ever change how I feel about you. You are all I want.”
“As you are all I want, my sweet Claire.” Ian pressed his lips to her hair and pulled the bedding over them. “You give meaning to my life. There are no words to express the joy in my heart that you bring. You are my life.”
“You are my life, too,” Claire answered as the yawn escaped.
Ian saw the tiredness in her eyes. Regret should have filled him with the way their evening had been spent, but he was unable to find that emotion. While the night had held its challenges, he and Claire had talked them through. He nestled his cheek against her hair, and he was confident they would see through life’s challenges together. “There are things I should have asked from the beginning.”
“What questions, Ian?”
His fingers pulled through her soft brown tresses. “Would you prefer to bind your hair for sleep?”
“No. I hate sleeping with my hair tight. It drives me crazy.”
He continued to pull her soft locks through his fingers. “For this I am grateful. Your hair is soft and sweet, to be denied its feel would be a loss too great to bear.”
“What else?” Claire asked as she nestled in his arms.
While he caressed the soft skin of her back, he said, “Would you like your shift to sleep in?”
“This is how I normally sleep.”
Claire softened against him as he leisurely rubbed his hand over her hip and side. “This pleases me greatly, sweeting. The feel of your warm skin against mine as we sleep is a pleasure I did nay ken could exist.” Ian sensed her body relax as sleep took hold far too early for his taste.
“You have a gift with words, Ian,” Claire said with a voice filled with sleep. “What else?”
“‘Twas all, sweeting. I merely wish to make certain you are comfortable as sleep finds you.” As her breathing evened out, a soft sigh of contentment reached his ears and answered his unspoken thoughts. Their evening had started too late. There were things he wished to speak to her about and hear her thoughts. Ian smiled as she snuggled close to him in sleep and held her. Once again he looked forward to the new day.