Chapter 32
“You kenned this.” Ian stood in Claire’s chamber and held out the small infant garment for Hagan’s view. Ian moved closer to the man he called brother. “You kenned about the bairn and yet you said nothing to me!”
“So she told you.”
He placed the clothing gently back into the sewing basket that sat on Claire’s table. His rage centered on Hagan. “How long have you kenned she is with child?”
“Aliana told me the night before Claire and I left. I rode from here believing she would have told you. My parting words to you were harsh due to the child she carries.”
Somehow the small clothing had found its way back to his hand. The feel of the fabric was soft to the touch. “She did nay tell me.”
Ian told the story of their parting and of his inability to find her until it was too late to speak. “I had no idea. If I had . . .” Ian stopped his thoughts; nothing would have changed her leaving. He had been trapped in his deal with Tavis. “I sent her away. She carried my child, and I made her leave. ‘Tis no wonder she will nay look at me, much less accept my touch.”
“Claire and I spoke of this before the attack. She kenned the child made no difference and that either way she had to leave. She thought to save you from the guilt.” Ian felt his face contort with grief as Hagan continued. “Let there be no mistaking my words, kenning the way of things and accepting them are verra different. The lass I claim as cousin is hurt and angry and justly so.”
“Why did you not speak of this to me?” Ian found anger to be better company than pain and guilt. “I have been home for hours. You should have told me. Even before I left, I sat by your bedside. There was ample opportunity to speak with me. I should have been told.”
“Ian, ‘tis not something to be heard from me.”
Neala’s sudden entrance disturbed the conversation.
“Forgive me. I dinna expect you both to be here.”
Ian’s wrath found a new target. “Why dinna you speak of this to me, Neala?” The tiny garment was once again held out to emphasize what was meant. “How dare you nay speak of this to me!”
“I dinna tell you because it was nay mine to tell.”
Ian bellowed his reply. “Would you both stop telling me what was not yours to tell!” Looking at his hand, the small clothing had been crumpled into a ball. With care, he smoothed it and replaced it gently into the basket. “Neala, while it may nay have been yours to tell in the beginning, Claire was injured. I should have been told then.”
“Ian, there are things you dinna ken. I encouraged the child to speak to you, and she held back for many reasons. First, she spent most her time asleep, and then I was asked nay to speak of the bairn. When Claire came back, she was very badly injured.”
“I ken how she was hurt. Was I nay here in this chamber as you cleaned and dressed each of her wounds? Did I nay hold her hand while you stitched it closed? Together we cleaned so much filth and blood from her . . .” Ian’s words faded as the memory of that night made him weak. An ache spread in his chest as he realized she was with child during her ordeal.
“As I was saying, Claire was hurt. When she woke there was pain.” Neala held up her hands to prevent him from interrupting. “There was more than pain from the wounds. There was pain from where the bairn is carried. I dinna ken if she would keep the bairn. There was nothing I could do to aid her, though she begged for help. In truth, I am amazed there is still a child, and ‘tis nothing short of a miracle in my opinion.”
Ian found his mind drifting to the night he held Claire. Her sleep-filled words took on new meaning. Hers was the child she could not protect. Ian glanced at Hagan. “Did you ken this, too?”
“Not until the danger had passed,” Hagan replied. “Aliana dinna wish to upset me with what could nay be prevented. Only as the women judged her healed did I learn of this.”
“Claire is out of danger? Is the child safe?”
“She is doing quite well. I have limited some of her activity and encourage rest. ‘Tis my belief she will carry the child easily.” The words meant little, but Ian knew he could trust the smile on Neala’s face.
“My thanks for your care of her and the bairn.” Relief poured through his heart.
“‘Tis my duty and my pleasure. ‘Tis no secret that I am verra fond of the lass. What is to happen now?” Neala asked. “None of us ken what to expect.”
Ian shook his head at the thought. “Claire says she is leaving on the morrow.” His eyes searched between the two before him. “I told her she and the bairn already have a home.”
“Is that all you said to her?” Hagan asked.
Ian took the opportunity to explain the time alone with Claire, the awkward beginning, what had been said, and how the conversation ended. “She left before I could say anything else. I had hoped to find her here, in her chamber.”
“I once vowed to protect Claire as a member of my family, and ‘tis an oath I take seriously. She deserved better from you. You let her go so you could accept a drink from Dedre? I dinna blame Claire for leaving.”
“Nay, Dedre brought a cup. As I accepted the drink, Claire disappeared. I was stuck listening to Dedre complain about Finella nay taking orders from her. It took me a few moments to end those concerns. Now I need to find Claire.”
Hagan let out a sigh. “So it is true. You plan to accept Lachlan’s offer in the hall tonight.”
“What are you talking about?” Ian wondered if Hagan knew where she hid. The rest meant little to him.
“Lachlan intends to offer his daughter to you this eve. From what he has said, there is great confidence you will accept, and even Dedre believes this. The lass has spent the last two moons telling all she will be your wife upon your return.” Hagan waited for Ian to respond.
The immense implication of what Hagan had said washed over him. “I have never discussed this with Lachlan. The man presumes based on a talk we had last year.” The final thought brought clarity and a sense of dread. Ian asked hesitantly, “Does Claire think I am to wed Dedre?”
Neala’s answer was short and to the point. “We all do. Dedre has talked of nothing else since her arrival. That one has done everything she can to let all ken she will rule here. Lachlan more or less confirmed this when he rode in. With nay a word from you, we assumed the Campbell laird and Dedre were correct.”
Hagan stated, “I will nay see my cousin pained by this. Do as you see fit. Claire and I ride in the morning. She simply need state to which lands we ride, Douglas or Campbell.”
“What do you mean which lands? Why would she ride to Campbell lands?” The anger was back in Ian’s voice. He knew that too much had happened in his absence.
“As you can ken, Campbell wants Claire gone, as did Tavis. The reasons may be different, but she is nay welcome with Dedre. The laird sees her skill with the books and has offered her a position in his home. The offer includes safety for her child and mayhap more if Claire approves. He approached me as is proper with this fine offer.”
Spitting out through clenched teeth, Ian asked, “The Campbell made an offer for Claire?”
“A proper one, provided the lass is interested after she recovers from the childbed. ‘Tis obviously better than her living here, as Dedre would make her life a living hell. All here ken that.”
“Claire will nay leave with Lachlan, and I have no intention of marrying Dedre. Those thoughts have long been gone from my mind.”
Too much had gone on in his absence. Ian now understood what had happened in the study with Claire. She had no faith left in any promises he had once given. He directed more poignant questions to Hagan and Neala and discovered all that had been said while he was away. Ian took control of the situation and gave Neala orders to prepare for the night to come. Hagan had to promise to make certain Claire was in the hall for the evening meal. This night would set the course for his future. For the first time in ages, Ian felt the weight of his fate resting in his own hands.