CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Natalia
I know my little reprieve from Sam is over the minute I pull into my parking space and see her car there. It was only a matter of time before she finally came home to give me a piece of her mind.
Awesome.
So, when I walk through the front door, I’m surprised to see she picked up Chinese takeout for us and has it set out on the kitchen table. I cautiously shut the door and look around for her.
“Hey.”
I twist, facing the living room where Sam is sprawled out on the couch. The expression on her face has me taking unsure steps toward her.
“Hey stranger,” I say, trying to lighten the mood. She doesn’t smile. Instead she points out the obvious, staring at me with an intense look on her face.
“I brought home some Chinese takeout for us. I know it’s your favorite.”
“Yeah, I see that.” I clear my throat. “What’s going on Sam? You’re kinda freaking me out here.”
Sam blows out a deep breath and pats the empty spot on the couch next to her. “Sit.”
I do as she says, waiting for her to go off at any second about the Luke situation, but surprisingly she doesn’t.
“I’m sorry.”
My eyes widen, and I do a double take, just to make sure it’s really her sitting here and not some imposter. “I’m sorry, what?”
“I know I haven’t been acting like your best friend, and I really am sorry.” Sam blows out another deep breath and tucks a stray curl behind her ear before going on. “I’m just worried about you. This isn’t you. Hanging around jerks like Luke. You text each other twenty-four seven, and now you’re talking about meeting his parents? I mean, what the hell is going on?”
“It’s not like that. How many different ways do I have to tell you that? And he is not always a jerk.”
“I’ve been your friend for four years, and I’ve never once seen you react to any guy the way you have to Luke. You don’t want to admit it, but you have feelings for him. And that’s scary, because if what you’re saying is true about you guys only being friends, then you’re bound to get hurt by him eventually.”
I sit silently for a beat, trying to process everything she’s said. I know deep down she’s right. She’s my best friend, and she knows me better than anyone. But what she doesn’t know is I’ve locked away my heart. There’s no way Luke is getting to it. I may not be able to stop the feelings I have for him, but that doesn’t mean I have to be stupid and lose all my inhibitions around him.
Placing my hand over Sam’s thigh, I squeeze and give her a reassuring smile. “I know what I’m doing, Sam. Once this semester is over, things will go back to normal. Okay?” Her lips thin into a grim line, she eye’s me up and down, then slowly nods. I can tell she still doesn’t believe me, but she’ll have to trust me on this one. I know what I’m doing.
“Just promise me you’ll be careful?” Sam presses again, and I roll my eyes, playing off the seriousness.
“We’re just friends, Sam. It’s gonna stay that way, I promise. I love you for looking out for me, but please don’t worry about me. Seriously,” I plead. Bending down, I kiss her on the cheek and pull her up to her feet. “C’mon, let’s eat before the food gets cold.”
For the most part, things feel normal during dinner with Sam. I can tell she wants to keep on with the subject of me and Luke, but it’s easy to shut her down. Every time she mentions Luke, I mention Alex.
Two can play that game, girlfriend.
We make small talk, and I try not to groan every time she mentions the lawyer. I am hoping all discussion of men will be off the table just for tonight, but obviously, I am wrong.
The guy is just a complete douche. I can’t wait till she gets tired of him.
After cleaning up, we lounge on the couch and watch a movie until I call it a night. Just as I’m on the cusp of falling asleep, I hear Sam shout angrily from the kitchen.
“Who the fuck ate my ice cream?”
I bury my face in my pillow to stifle my laughter. I can’t even imagine what her reaction will be if she finds out Luke was the one eating her kryptonite—Ben and Jerry’s.
Sorry, Sammy.
***
The next morning, just as I’m swinging the strap of my bag over my shoulder, my phone rings from my back pocket. I toss my car keys on my desk and swipe across the screen.
“Good morning, Sunshine,” I chirp into the phone and Aliza groans.
“Oh God. You sound just like Alex when you say that.”
I chuckle because that’s exactly what I am going for. Alex is the one who started calling Aliza, Sunshine. At first, I think he said it as a joke, because when she first started at the Bar and Grille, she was the furthest thing from “sunshine”, but now, I guess the name kind of stuck. I think Sam is the only one who refuses to call her Sunshine. She swears Aliza’s designated nickname is “Ohio”.
“I know, my bad. So, what’s up?”
“Can you give me a ride into work today? Chase is out of town, and Alex keeps complaining about my neighborhood.”
I roll my eyes. “Tell Alex to suck on it.”
“Did that. All I got in return was a cheeky grin and a smack on the ass. If you can’t, it’s okay, I can get an Uber.”
I shake my head and smile. Typical Alex behavior. “Don’t you dare, sweet-cheeks. I’m on my way.”
“Thank you!”
I pull up in front of Aliza’s condo and don’t have to bother honking. She’s already dragging herself down the steps toward the car.
“Well, aren’t you in a joyous mood today,” I say sarcastically as she climbs in the car with a huff.
“Yeah, right,” she snorts, rubbing small circles on her temples. “I swear, I’ve had the worst headache for three days straight. I’d rather have a pencil stabbed repeatedly into my skull than deal with this.”
“That was too graphic for my liking, Aliza.”
“Sorry,” she sighs, slouching into her seat. I pull out of the cul-de-sac she lives in and onto the main road, heading toward work.
“Have you ever been to a rock concert?” she asks still rubbing her temples. My brows pinch together, and I shake my head no.
“That’s what my head feels like right now.”
“A rock concert? Have you ever even been to a concert, Aliza?”
“Nope. But I imagine if I did, this is what my head would like. Feels like someone’s using my head as a drum set.” She groans, making me laugh. God, I love her.
I pull into an empty parking spot at the Bar and Grille twenty minutes before our shift starts. Just as I’m about to fling my door open, Aliza stops me.
“Nat? Can we talk for a second?”
I let go of the door handle and turn back to Aliza. “Yeah, of course. What’s going on?”
“There’s nothing going on per-say, I just wanted to talk to you about something.”
“You’re freaking me out, Aliza.” I laugh nervously.
“I just wanted you to know, that no matter what, I will always have your back, one hundred and ten percent.” Aliza shifts in her seat and looks at me. Really looks at me.
“Now I’m really freaked.”
She laughs and rests her hand on my forearm. “Don’t be.” She gives my arm a reassuring squeeze before going on. “Did I ever tell you about Rosie’s dad?”
My heart stops, and my breath gets caught in my throat. It’s not every day your best friend brings up the father of her deceased daughter. Aliza lost her eighteen-month-old daughter to leukemia a few years ago, and it’s not something she ever talks about. Sam and I have seen the pictures and heard stories here and there, but that’s about it. It’s hard for her to talk about it without crying which is completely understandable. So, the fact that she’s bringing it up right now is beyond strange.
“His name was Tyler. I met him when I was a sophomore at Tulpehocken High School. It was a small town of only about a hundred something people and everyone pretty much knew everyone, so of course I knew everything there was to know about Tyler Dunn. He was a senior, infamous ladies’ man, super popular—at least as popular as one could be in a small town—and he was the cutest guy I had ever laid eyes on at the time. All the girls in Bernville were completely in love with him. For all of my sophomore and junior years, I was convinced that I was in love and had met my soul-mate. It wasn’t until my senior year of high school that Tyler even realized I existed.” She smiles sadly. “We met at a mall a few towns over from Bernville. We hung out a few times, exchanged numbers, all that good stuff. I was so young, and naïve—here was this popular guy I had a huge crush on, and he was finally noticing me. I was ecstatic. I was prepared to do anything to make him happy. I’m sure you can guess how this ends.”
I nod my head, because yes, I have a feeling I know where this story is going.
“We slept together once, I got pregnant, and along came Rosie. All before I could graduate high school. Tyler didn’t want any part of her life. Didn’t even acknowledge that we slept together. But I was fine with that, you know? I didn’t need him because once I had Rosie, I realized I would never need a man in my life to make me happy again because I had her.”
I wipe the stray tear gliding along my cheek with the back of my hand and watch as Aliza does the same to her own.
“What I’m really trying to say is, I know how easy it is to get caught up in your feelings. You see this cute guy, and he’s showing all this interest in you when you thought you never even stood a chance. So, you convince yourself to throw all inhibitions out the window and let go. I just want you to be smart…with Luke. He’s gorgeous, and charming, but as you’ve said, he’s not a one-woman man, and I’d hate to see you get hurt. Just…just be careful.”
“Aliza,” I sigh, wiping away excess tears. “I know what I’m doing. I’m not going to throw myself at Luke just because we’ve gotten close. He’s…a friend. And he’ll remain my friend until he decides he doesn’t want to be a part of my life anymore.”
Aliza smiles sadly and nods. “Of course. Just know…you can always talk to me. I know sometimes Sam gives you shit for being friends with Luke, but I get where you’re coming from.”
Sucking in a shaky breath, I smile and pull Aliza into a hug. “I love you.”
“I know. I love you too,” she whispers. The center console digs into my stomach and I grunt.
“Okay, let’s get out of here before we’re late.”
“Good idea.”
For the remainder of my shift, I’m plagued by Aliza’s story, and Sam’s words from the night before. I can’t deny that they both have good points, but at the end of the day, I know myself and how far I’m willing to go. I love being around Luke, and if I’m being honest, I know my feelings for him aren’t in the friend category anymore, but I would never act on them. Ever. I just want to pretend like things are normal, like they were the first time I met Luke. It’s just strange, I mean, what are the odds of two of my best friends begging me to be careful?
God, I bet they’re tag teaming me, sharing their worries behind my back.
With a shake of my head, I push all thoughts of Luke and the girls out of my head so I can stay focused.