CHAPTER ELEVEN
Natalia
After a long night of work, then coming home to study, I’m completely exhausted as I roll out of bed the following morning. I’m supposed to be meeting Luke at his place so we can get some work done on the psyche assignment before he goes to practice again later. I only wish I could sleep in longer. Since befriending Luke, these late nights are killing me.
I take a quick shower, tie my hair into a sloppy bun, and throw on my favorite pair of yoga pants with a simple Victoria Secret PINK t-shirt. I don’t bother trying to put any makeup on this morning—Luke is going to have a field day with his jokes once he gets a good look at me. I usually try to make myself look somewhat presentable to the world, but today, I really can’t care less. I’m so out of it, I feel like the walking dead, and I’m sure I probably look like a zombie too.
Per usual, I send Luke a text, letting him know I’m on the way before getting on the road. The drive from my place to his is only about twenty minutes which is about the same from my place to school. For someone who lives so close to campus, you’d think that Luke wouldn’t always be late, which isn’t the case at all. He’s always late. I’m not sure if he purposely does it just to be cool, or if he really is horrible at making it anywhere on time. I’m hoping it’s the latter. Anyone who is late to anything that often just because they’re “popular” and able to get away with it is a total douche.
After parking and knocking on his door, Luke lets me in and tells me to make myself comfortable on his couch. I’m immediately surprised when I walk past him toward the empty sofa. His place is unusually silent, and I raise my brows at him in question.
“No idea where everyone is, but fuck if it doesn’t make me happy to have some peace and quiet for once,” he says, dropping onto the couch. With a shake of my head, I laugh and take the seat beside him. In doing so, I accidentally step on his shoe and he nearly has a heart attack. He gasps and stares down at his shoe in horror.
“What did I ever do to you?” he asks seriously while wiping the scuff mark off his shoes.
I can’t help but laugh. “Sorry, it was an accident.”
He looks up at me through narrowed eyes and huffs like he doesn’t believe that for one second. In all honesty, I’m not sure I believe it myself either. Watching Luke get worked up over a pair of sneakers is hilarious. I decide to play the victim instead, give him a little shit for always making my life a living hell.
“I’m serious! Plus, your shoes are black, it’s not like you can even see the mark.”
His eyes widen, and he looks up at me incredulously. “Do you even know what kind of shoes these are? Jesus, Nat, these are the Yeezy Boost 350 pirate black 2.0’s. Does that mean anything to you?”
I bite my bottom lip to keep from laughing. Luke looks like he’s on the verge of being hysterical as he awaits my response. Over a pair of shoes.
“Nope.” The laugh bubbles up my throat, and he spreads his arms out at his sides in defeat. He gets up from the couch, grumbling under his breath, and disappears down the hallway toward his room. A few minutes later he walks back in with a pair of dirty, scuffed up Nike’s.
“Note to self—never wear good shoes around you.”
I fall back against the couch and laugh uncontrollably. Because seriously, shoes?
Half-way into working, Luke clears his throat and turns to me with a serious look on his face. “So, my mom won’t shut up about you since our last FaceTime session.” Something foreign happens in my stomach, but I ignore it, waiting for him to go on. “She wants to meet you in person. She wants you to come out to dinner with us.”
The pen I’m writing with freezes mid-stroke, and I momentarily forget how to breathe.
What?
I lift my eyes up and meet Luke’s steady gaze. His amber and emerald eyes bore into mine, waiting for me to say something.
“I’m sorry. I don’t think I’m following you. Your mother wants to meet me? Like have me over for dinner?”
Luke runs his hand through his hair nervously and nods. “Pretty much.”
My brows draw together in confusion as I try to make sense of this. “But why?”
“Apparently, you made such a good impression with my mother that she’s been mapping out our future together,” he says sheepishly, and I can’t help but laugh at the way his cheeks redden.
“Oh, God,” I groan. “This is so weird, Luke. And you’re okay with this?”
“Mostly, yes. I don’t necessarily want this dinner to happen, but if it’ll get my mother off my back, hell yeah.”
My heart constricts at the realization that he doesn’t want me there. His mother may have liked me, but to Luke, I’ll only ever be a friend. I didn’t realize until now just how much I want to be more than a friend to Luke.
“Well, whatever you’re comfortable with, I guess I can handle,” I say, forcing a smile as I try to ignore the sharp, stabbing pain in my chest. Luke blows out a relieved breath and smiles.
“My parents will love you, so don’t get all nervous. I think my mother is just curious how we’ve been friends for so long and I haven’t managed to sleep with you yet. I think she commends you.”
Heat rushes to my face, and I blush an indecent shade of red. Dammit.
“Well, there’s no need for her to commend me. Not sleeping with you is easy when I find you unattractive,” I say flippantly, trying to downplay how I really feel about him. Luke’s brows pull down and he sits up straight. I internally grin with satisfaction, knowing that I’ve just gotten to him. Never tell a hot guy that you think he’s hot.
“What do you mean you’re not attracted to me?”
“I mean, I’m not attracted to you.” Liar, my inner subconscious screams.
“Why the hell not? Girl’s practically shit themselves when they see me. I wouldn’t be surprised if girls sold their souls to the devil for one night with me.” He waggles his brows playfully, purposefully goading me.
I scoff and roll my eyes. “That right there is exactly why I’m not attracted to you.”
“Why?”
“Because you think you’re God’s gift to women when really, you’re just a spoiled jock who thinks he can do no wrong and have whatever girl he wants at the snap of his fingers.”
“How the fuck is it my fault that girls act a certain way around me? I like to fuck, Natalia. So obviously if a hot piece of ass is throwing herself at me, I’m gonna take what’s being offered to me, and run with it.”
“That’s exactly my point! You take advantage of your popularity and looks to get whatever you want, and by that, I mean sexual favors. It isn’t fair for people like us.”
“Us? Who the hell is us? I know you aren’t talking about yourself, because then I’ll know you’re really fucking with me. And I don’t take advantage of anything. Girls throw themselves at me because of who I am and what I look like. They couldn’t care less about me, or my dreams, or anything else important for that matter. So sue me if sleeping with girls who only want to fuck makes me look bad. It’s tit for tat. They want a good night in bed with me, and the five minutes of fame after. I want a quick release for my problems and the non-complications that come with it.”
Luke and I glare at each other, our gazes unwavering. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel a little bad for the way girls treat him, but on the other hand, I don’t. This is Luke Caldwell we’re talking about. King of the San Diego State football team, infamous ladies’ man, and arrogant jerk—I won’t relent on this.
Luke blows out a sigh in defeat. “Fuck you’re stubborn.” He runs a hand through his wayward hair and rubs the back of his neck. “So, dinner with my family? Is it a yes or no?” he asks sheepishly, and my hard exterior breaks, and I crack a smile.
“Yes, I’ll go. Not for you though, only for your mom. I think I like her better than I like you,” I say with mirth and Luke chuckles.
“I wouldn’t doubt it.” He nudges me in my arm while giving me his dimpled grin. “Can we drop our last conversation?”
“With pleasure.” I smile graciously.
After our conversation, we finally get back to working on our assignment for psych class. The assignment consists of conducting research on the interpersonal processes of our partners, which so far has been interesting. Our conversation flows easily while working without another incident the rest of the time. I leave a little before Luke has to start getting ready for practice, heading back to my own place before my shift at the Bar and Grille starts. On the drive to work, I can’t stop thinking about dinner with Luke’s family—the Caldwell’s. On one hand, I know for certain the dinner is bound to be awkward, but on the other hand, it will be interesting to meet Luke’s parents, the people who shaped him into the man he is today. Just the thought of seeing how he interacts with them is intriguing in itself.
Pulling up to the Bar and Grille, I shake my head, clearing myself of those thoughts. I need to get myself into work mode. All I need is Sam and Aliza giving me shit for being off my game much like I have been lately. Well, not so much Aliza—she’s too caught up with CJ—but Sam, Jesus, that girl drives me crazy sometimes. Speaking of the devil, upon walking through the doors, her bright red hair is the first thing to greet me, followed by a glimpse of golden blonde hair.
“Where the hell have you been, Natalia?” Sam says in a hostile tone, striding up to me. “I called you almost a hundred times!”
I roll my eyes and fix Sam with a stare. “You called two times Sam, and I even sent you a text that you never replied to.” I cross my arms over my chest and raise a brow, waiting for her to deny it. She doesn’t bother. Instead, she walks past me, grumbling incoherently under her breath, heading toward the bar.
I turn to Aliza with a questioning look. “What’s her problem?”
Aliza’s lip twitches. “Alex came in earlier with a very pretty girl. I don’t think that sat well with Sam. It probably didn’t help that he completely ignored her.”
A small satisfied smile spreads across my face. “Good. Maybe it’ll finally knock some sense into her. She’s spent all her time and energy pushing Alex away for this asshole lawyer guy who doesn’t even care about her.”
“Well, you know how Sam is. I just wish she would give Alex a chance. He’s such a great guy. And I’m not just saying that because he’s Chase’s best friend.”
Aliza and I shift our attention to Sam who’s behind the bar, slamming down bottles with unnecessary roughness. From here, I can see her still grumbling under her breath, and it’s only a matter of time before she loses it. Aliza and I both turn to look at each other with knowing looks, then shake our heads and head off to start our shift.
In between taking orders and dropping off plates of food, I strike up a conversation with Aliza about dinner with Luke’s family. It feels safer to tell her when Sam isn’t around. I know she won’t give me shit for it. That just isn’t her.
“So, you know Luke, the guy I’m partnered with in my psyche class?”
“The quarterback, right?” Aliza juggles four plates in her arms as we walk back to the kitchen.
“Yeah. Him.” I nervously tuck stray hairs behind my ears before I go on. “Well, his family invited me to have dinner with them.”
Aliza’s wide-eyed gaze swings to mine. “I’m sorry, did you just say he invited you to have dinner with his parents?”
“Well, technically it wasn’t him. One day, he was on FaceTime with his mom, and I was there, and I guess she wants to meet the girl who’s been hanging around her son.” I shrug. “So, now I guess they want to meet me, officially, over dinner.”
“THEY WHAT?” Sam shouts from behind me and I jump in surprise. Aliza shrieks, and I turn around with my hand resting over my heaving chest.
“Jesus, Sam! You scared the crap out of me. What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Hey, I’m not the one holding up all the orders because I’m gossiping in the kitchen.” She narrows her emerald eyes at me, “And what’s this I hear about your boyfriend inviting you to meet his family over dinner?”
I roll my eyes. “He’s not my boyfriend. His parents invited me over for dinner since we’ve been spending so much time together.” I shrug like it’s not a big deal, but of course, Sam sees right through my act.
“Bullshit. No guy who’s a man-whore and looks like your quarterback would ever invite a lady friend for dinner with his parents. Just admit that you’re both into each other. It’s obvious!”
“Here we go,” I groan. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you, Sam. I knew you would make this into a bigger deal than it needs to be. It’s just a dinner.”
“Just a dinner my ass, Natalia. If you didn’t think it was a big deal, you wouldn’t be gossiping about it on work time, trying to convince yourself it’s not serious. You may be able to lie to yourself about your feelings for him, but it’s obvious to everyone who knows you.”
I shift my eyes back and forth from Aliza to Sam. I meet Aliza’s gaze and she gives me an apologetic smile, probably wishing she would’ve seen Sam coming to avoid all this. I turn back to Sam and blow out a deep breath. “I’m going back to work. We’ll talk later, and not just about dinner with Luke.” I narrow my gaze at her, letting her know we’ll be talking about the Alex situation.
For the rest of my shift, I can’t help thinking about what Sam said, about Luke and me obviously being into each other. I mean there’s no denying Luke is good looking—better than good looking actually, but that doesn’t mean I want to be with him, and vice versa. He’s made it abundantly clear I’m not his type, nor is he mine. I’m plagued the rest of the night with what if scenarios featuring Luke and me.
***
After our altercation at work last night, I’m kind of glad I don’t run into Sam at home. Ever since she met the lawyer, she stays at his place most of the time, leaving the apartment to me. I wake up, expecting my phone to be blown up with angry messages from Sam, but instead there is nothing. Tamping down my irrational feelings, I get ready for school and prepare myself the entire ride to see Luke and everything that comes with him.
“Good news. Practice is cancelled today, so I’m free after class,” Luke says as he slides into the seat next to me.
“Well, I guess that is good news because today’s my day off. We can meet up after my last class if you want?”
“Sounds good. At your place? The guys will be at mine. So, unless you want to work with the smell of sweat and balls, I suggest your place.”
I loudly laugh and cover my mouth before I attract the attention of everyone in the lecture hall. “Good idea. My place it is.”
The rest of the class, Luke and I talk in hushed tones all the while taking notes. Before long, the class is over and we’re going our separate ways until we’ll see each other later at my place. I really do try to pay attention in most of my classes, but in all honesty, I can’t. All I can think about is seeing Luke, and whether or not Sam will be home when he comes over. That would be a freaking disaster.
I rush home after my last class and run straight to my room, doing my best to make sure everything is tidy. I then run to the living room and proceed to vacuum anything that looks like dirt or crumbs. With my hands resting on my hips, I smile, feeling satisfied with the living room. My cell chimes from my back pocket with a text message notification. Swiping across the screen, I read over Luke’s message.
Luke Caldwell: Just parked. Walking up.
Just then, there’s a knock at the door. I blow out a deep breath and pull the door open, letting Luke in.
“Let’s do this, babe,” he says as he walks past me, and his scent trails behind him. It smells like fresh pines and body wash. My favorite scent.
“Let me just get my stuff from my room, then we can get started.”
“Oh, no you don’t. Aren’t you going to give me a proper tour?”
“Seriously, Luke. There’s not much to see. Plus, you’ve already been here, a tour is off the table now.”
“Technically, the last time I was here we stayed in the living room, so I didn’t get a chance to see anything else. I want my tour, Textbook.”
I roll my eyes. “There really is nothing to see.”
“Bullshit,” he says, heading down the hallway toward my room. “Don’t deprive me of this. Show me the way, or I’ll just open up every door till I find your room.”
I roll my eyes and relent, leading him toward my room. I fling open the second door on the right.
“Welcome to my humble abode.” I gesture around at my simple bedroom. The last time Luke was here, he never saw my room, and I can’t help the fluttering in my belly at the sight of him in here. My private space.
“Oh God, this place looks almost as boring as you,” he says in mock horror, and I laugh, shoving him away playfully.
“Excuse me for not having posters of half-naked women plastered all over the walls.”
“Don’t underestimate the importance of a suggestive poster,” he says as he takes in my mostly bare walls. My room is as plain as they come. Plain, cream colored bed sheets. Two matching dressers against the far wall, and a colorful closet overflowing with clothes.
Shoving textbooks aside, I make room on my bed for us to work. Luke takes his time, looking around the entirety of my room before taking a seat. I swallow multiple times as I try to tamp down my nervousness. I don’t know why having him inside my personal space is so nerve wracking. Is this how he feels every time I come over and make myself comfortable at his place? Luke’s steps slow and stop in front of my vanity. Without caring, he lifts the photographs littered on my dresser, and my heart constricts painfully, cutting off my air supply. My body shakes as I slide off my bed and stand beside him. I stare down at the photograph in his hand and smile sadly.
“That was my mother.”
The photo is one of my favorites. I was no older than two or three years, smiling up at my mother as she smiles for the camera. Her long dark hair flowed down her back like a curtain, and her eyes, encased by long thick lashes, sparkled happily. She had the most beautiful smile. That’s one thing I’ll never forget.
“She’s…wow. She’s gorgeous, Natalia. You look just like her.” His eyes travel back up to mine and my stupid heart flutters in my chest because he just said I was beautiful in his own way. I dart my eyes away, feeling the heat creep up into my face. I busy myself with putting the old pictures of me and my mother back where they were before I clear my throat nervously.
“Ready to get started?” I gesture to the open textbook on the bed. He obliges with a nod, and I let out the breath I had been holding. We try to get as comfortable as anyone can on my bed.
“Do you miss her?”
I close my eyes at his sudden question. My stomach churns, and I blow out a shaky breath.
“Every day,” I whisper.
“I’m sorry.”
The sincerity in his voice prompts me to look up at him. The afternoon light from my window makes his normally light brown hair look copper. His eyes are a unique shade of whiskey, with a hint of turquoise at the edges. I force a small smile on my face, and silently nod my head, accepting his apology.
We make good progress on our project. Luke’s phone chimes, and he groans in exasperation.
“Fuck me,” he mumbles under his breath.
“Who is it?”
He looks up at me through his lashes. “My mom,” he says sheepishly.
I don’t bother hiding my smile. “Momma’s boy,” I taunt playfully, and he flips me off before answering.
“Hey, Mom…. Yeah. It’s good. Didn’t have practice today…. No, I sent the tickets to Dad already. You’ll have to check with him…. Not really…. Yeah, I’m actually in the middle of studying.” He looks at me out the corner of his eye, and I just know his mom is asking about me. Point for Natalia. “She’s here studying too.”
His mother mumbles over the line, but I can’t make out anything that’s being said. I turn away from Luke, giving him some privacy to talk freely. I also do it to hide the blush creeping over my face. I can’t believe his mother likes me enough to constantly ask her son about me.
I head down the hall to the kitchen and search through my cabinets for any snacks. All I’m able to find is a stale red licorice and a box of cheese crackers. Shrugging, I grab the box of crackers and two bottles of water from the fridge before heading back to the room. I’m sure by now he’s gotten off the phone with his mom.
“So, this is all I was able to find for us to snack on. Don’t judge me.” I hand a bottle of water to him and offer the box of snacks his way. He scrunches up his nose, and makes a face of disgust.
“What’s that look for? You don’t like these?” I say gesturing to the box of crackers.
“Hell no. Goldfish is where it’s at,” he says seriously.
I roll my eyes. “Whatever. More for me then.”
We get to work on our project, only talking when we need to ask each other important questions. So far, we’re making good progress with our assignment, which is quite surprising. I thought for sure he would fall behind due to football practice and games, but surprisingly, he’s kept up with his side of the work. I couldn’t be happier.
I’m so immersed in my work that when Luke’s phone vibrates on my bed, I jolt in surprise.
“Well, aren’t you popular today?” I say as I look down at the photo ID displayed on the screen. Huge breasts covered by a lacey hot pink bra fill the screen and I’m suddenly irritated. “She seems like a nice, God loving girl,” I say snarkily, gesturing to his phone. Luke snatches it off the bed and hits decline, surprising me.
“She’s not a nice girl, but she is one hell of a lay.”
I groan in disgust, nudging his muscular thigh with my foot, making him chuckle. “Stop, please.”
His chuckle is cut off by his phone ringing again. The same photo ID pops up, and he hits decline again.
“What? She’s not good enough to get an answer from you?”
He shrugs. “I’m just not interested.”
I narrow my eyes in question. “Why? She’s perfect for you. All boobs and no brains.” I tease.
“Nah, she’s nowhere near my type.”
His tone is deadly serious, and I frown up at him.
Huh. I definitely wasn’t expecting that.
“Well what is your type then Mr. I-get-everything-I-want? I thought as long as she had tits and a great ass you were sold?”
Luke chuckles and shakes his head, growing serious.
“Nah, not my type at all. Sometimes I fuck to block it all out—when I just need a release from all the expectation in my life. She’s gotta be hot, that’s a no brainer.” I laugh because well, I didn’t expect anything less from Luke. “But she’s also gotta be smart, loyal, funny, and she’s gotta be different. Every girl I meet is the same, they all look the same, dress the same, and act the same. It gets old. I want a girl who can keep up with me, and isn’t afraid to be herself.”
My heart is beating so loud, I can hear it pounding in my ears. Or maybe that’s all the blood rushing to my head?
Shit. I can’t even focus. Is it just me or is he referring to someone like me?
“So, you still want your regular sluts just mixed in with a little bit of the good girl. Sort of like me, because we all know that I’m the furthest thing from normal. You’d be interested in me as a person, but on the outside, you want someone who looks like Gina. We all know she’s the looker out of the two of us. You basically want to combine Gina and me together.”
That gets a laugh out of Luke. He looks me up and down making the heat rush to my neck and face again.
Jesus, Nat, get it together.
Luke stares at me in complete silence, until suddenly he jolts, realizing he hasn’t answered. He rakes a hand through his hair, then he shakes his head. “No, not someone like you. And definitely the fuck not her.” He shudders violently. “I don’t even know what I’m looking for to be honest. I guess I’ll know when I find her.”
My little invisible bubble of hope bursts right in my chest with a loud pop, and my heart twists with envy. Of course, he wouldn’t want someone like me. Like I said before, I never stood a chance here with Luke Caldwell. He’s everything I’m not, and quite frankly, everything I never want to be. He’s a friend. Not even a friend, a classmate, and that’s all he’ll ever be.