CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Luke
“Bro!” Drew shouts from above me as he spots me. “You’ve been out of it all fucking morning man, what the fuck is going on?”
What’s going on? Someone tell me what the fuck isn’t going on right now.
I slept with Natalia last night. I cuddled with her in bed. I held her all night. And. I. Fucking. Liked. It.
That’s my goddam problem.
“Just got a lot on my mind man.” I lift the bar and continue benching until my arms can’t press anymore.
“This wouldn’t have anything to do with your new BFF, would it?” Drew asks with an air of ridicule, and my hands curl into fists at my side.
“Drop it,” I warn.
“Fuuuuck me. It is!” He groans. “What the fuck are you thinking Luke? You can’t go there, man.”
“Why the fuck not?” I ask, feeling my temper rise. His eyebrows shoot up and he walks around the bench-pressing equipment to face me.
“This is fucking why, Luke. Look at you. We’re at practice talking about some fucking chick, man. Your head isn’t in the fucking game!” He slaps a hand to the side of his head for emphasis. “Not to fucking mention, she’s too good for you.”
That immediately gets my back up. I scowl up at him from my perch on the bench.
“Natalia is pure and sweet. Everything you’re not. She’s a solid fucking ten man. And no, I’m not talking about skank ten, but an all-around ten. That’s why you want her,” he says pointing to me. I bite down on my tongue and clench my fists in anger because he’s wrong. It’s so much more than that.
“Look man, you know for a fact you’re not cut out to be that guy. The one that dates the girl all throughout college and marries her with the happily ever after. That’s not you Luke.”
“You don’t get it,” I grumble. He crosses his arms over his chest and glares at me.
“Explain it then, motherfucker.”
“She’s different man. When I’m with her…it’s like nothing else matters. And she sees me—the real me, Drew. Not that guy that fucks anything wearing a dress. She has such a good heart, and the way she views the people that wrong her—she’s just incredible. I don’t know man….” I rub a frustrated hand through my hair, not knowing what to do with all these feelings. God, I’m turning into a fucking chick.
“I get it man, I do. But we both know she deserves better. What’s gonna happen if you date each other and you have to spend all that time apart? You think she’s gonna follow you wherever football takes you? The jealously will tear you two apart, and c’mon Luke, we both know you don’t know how to say no to pussy.”
I scrub my hands over my face not knowing what to do. Fuck, fuck, fuck!
“Besides the fucking obvious, what else is the problem?” Drew asks.
“I don’t want to ruin her dreams just to make mine come true. She deserves everything man. She has aspirations for her career and leaving the fucked-up family she has. Who am I to take that shit away from her?” I ask, feeling my anger rise again at my stupidity.
“Then don’t,” Drew says sternly. I rake a frustrated hand through my hair and tug.
“And it’s always gonna be about football for me. I won’t stop until I make it, D. I’ve dreamed about this since I was kid, I can’t lose sight of this now. Not when I’m this close.”
“Good. That sounds like the Luke I know. Just keep your head in the game, man. The devil’s in the details.”
Easier said than done. I drop my head into my hands, and immediately images from last night flood my head. Fuuuck, I’m hard as a fucking rock just thinking about it. This is so bad.
“I fucked up last night man.”
I lift my head up, and Drew’s brows furrow. He stares at me, waiting for me to go on, expecting to hear more.
“I slept with Natalia last night…and she spent the night.”
Drew’s silence prompts me to look at him. He’s still just staring at me like he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“So, what’s the big deal?” he finally asks, and it’s then that I realize what a big fucking mistake I made last night. Even if it was one of the best nights of my life, I should’ve never let things go too far.
“She was a virgin, Drew.”
“Jesuuus, Luke!” Drew groans, spins, and tosses his hands up in frustration.
“You realize what this means, right? You’re fucked either way now. You either have to stay with her or you have to dump her before she gets too clingy. Did you even use a condom? Or did you fucking forget to do that too?”
I glare up at him, close to bashing my fist through my best friend’s face.
“These distractions will get you dropped by a scout instantly, Luke. You and I both know it.” I look away from him, focusing on the other guys working out, unaware of what’s happening on this side of the gym. Drew blows out a deep breath, prompting me to look at him.
“We only have one shot at this man. Are you willing to throw it all away for her?”
With a pat on my back, he nods before heading toward the locker rooms to change for drills.
After a long, drawn-out practice, I’m in the locker room with the guys, and Drew nudges me in my ribs. I scowl at him until I realize he’s pointing to the discussion Jared is having with a few of the other players.
“Yeah man, she started to get too clingy, so I did the only thing I could. Fucked her cousin.” Jared cackles. “She was furious, but hey, she finally stopped calling. If you ever want to get rid of a girl, fuck her sister, her best friend, her cousin, whatever family you can, and she’ll hate you for life.”
All the guys in locker room howl with laughter. Everyone except me. My gaze swings to Drew who’s giving me the look—like I know what needs to be done. Bile rises to my throat and I feel sick just thinking about doing that to Natalia.
Fuck my life, this is going to hurt.