CHAPTER NINETEEN
Natalia
Ever since the kiss on the field, Luke has reverted to his old childish ways. His crude pickup lines he uses on me and any other girl on campus have gotten a hundred times worse. Not to mention the barf worthy PDA I’ve found him in. I try not to let it get to me, but it’s hard. I wish we could go back to being the friends we once were, but I know that won’t happen. Not now. Especially not after that kiss.
How do you try to come back from something like that?
To top things off, he always has an excuse as to why he can’t work on our psych project. The football season is well under way, but it’s like he doesn’t even care anymore. With the semester coming to end, my anxiety levels are through the roof. I’m half-tempted to finish it myself, but that’s not fair. No way in hell am I doing the dirty work for him. Hell to the no.
After class is over, I bump into Luke and a busty blonde. You know, before I met Aliza, I sort of despised blonde girls just because they’re always so sought after. It helps that Aliza isn’t your average blonde girl, she’s really changed my opinion on blondes…until now. Ever since the incident—that’s how I’m referring to it—we haven’t sat next to each other in class, nor have we talked much on the phone. He doesn’t even walk me to my classes anymore, and I think that’s what really hurts. It’s like he doesn’t want anything to do with me.
Two can play that game buddy.
The busty blonde is all over him, and he seems to be enjoying himself a little too much. Asshole. The scantily dressed girl runs her hand all over his chest and abdomen like we’re not in the center of a damn campus. He’s wearing faded blue jeans, with a simple white Henley. The bill of his black hat is twisted behind his head in a way that I used to think was cute, but now it just looks dumb. Luke stares down at her with unadulterated lust in his eyes, and it takes an abnormal amount of self-restraint for me not to roll my eyes so hard they get stuck at the back of my head. He notices me and blatantly trails his eyes up and down my body, like he wants to take me here and now. It’s not a flattering look. It’s a look he gives to the rest of his bimbos. It makes me feel cheap. And it makes me hate him a little more than I already do.
“Care to join, Natalia, or do you plan on watching all day?” He waggles his brows suggestively, and my stomach churns painfully. Who is this guy?
“You’re disgusting,” I sneer, striding away in anger. His cold laughter trails behind me all the way to my next class.
For the next hour and a half, I’m unable to focus on anything my professor is saying. All because I’m too busy thinking about Luke and what a complete asshole he is. I mean, seriously, he was the one who kissed me on a field he takes all his groupies to—what the hell does he have to be angry about? Dropping my head into my hands, I curse the day I ever met Luke Caldwell. I haven’t wanted to admit it, but that one kiss has ruined me. Irrevocably and unequivocally. I just wish my kiss could’ve ruined him too. Shame.
***
“I can’t believe him! He’s such a jackass! I hate him. I wish I would’ve never met him,” I continue ranting vehemently on my lunch break to Sam and Aliza, but in all honesty, I don’t really think they’ve heard anything I’ve said for the last ten minutes. They’ve just been eating their food and letting me talk. I’ve been stewing on my anger all day. I couldn’t focus in any of my classes, and for that, I blame Luke. His little show with the blonde after class was disgustingly disturbing. Not to mention infuriating.
Aliza sighs. “You don’t mean that, Natalia. You’re just angry.”
I narrow my eyes at her. “No. I do mean it. More than you know. He’s a complete and total idiot. He’s a walking STD. I can’t believe I even let a disgusting guy like him kiss me.”
Sam drops her soda can on the table with a thud. “Alright, seriously Nat? That’s enough. You’ve been whining and moping over this guy for the last two weeks. Get over it or talk to him! I told you to be careful. I told you to stay away, but nooo, you didn’t listen and now look at you. You’re a lovesick puppy because he left you in the dust. If you don’t get it together, I will. That’s a stallion I wouldn’t mind taking a ride on.”
My hands curl into fists under the table and my anger starts bubbling to the surface like a volcano about to erupt.
Ever since our talk in bed, Sam has been trying to get me to own up to my feelings for Luke, but I won’t do it. That night in bed, when I slipped and told her how I might be feeling was just a lapse in my judgement. Nothing more. I feel nothing for Luke. Or at least that’s what I’ve been telling myself for the past few weeks. We were friends, not even real friends, but yet, Sam seems to have the impression that I’m in love with him, which is just impossible because I can never love anyone like him. I hate him. I loathe him, with a capital L.
“I could say the same to you,” I snap, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Oh, cut the crap already, Natalia. If you want me to be with Alex so much why don’t you date him?”
“He doesn’t want anyone but you!” I shout, shooting to my feet. I stomp away from the table like a completely immature girl, but honestly, I don’t really care. I just need a minute to gather myself before I have to get back to work and fake a smile for all these customers.
Out on the deck, I take in a deep breath, inhaling the cool salty ocean breeze. I probably look like a total weirdo, standing out on the deck with my eyes closed, head tilted toward the sky, while everyone around me is trying to finish their dinner—but I don’t care. I just need a small moment of peace and quiet.
“Seriously, Natalia? Are we really going to have another fight over this, again?” Sam’s irritated voice rings out behind me, and I sigh. So much for a small moment of peace and quiet.
“Really not in the mood, Samantha.”
Sam stops in front of me, prompting me to look at her. “Yeah, I’ve fucking noticed. You haven’t been in the mood for jack-shit since your QB dumped you. Either screw him or forget him all together. Quit dragging me into your fucking problems!”
With that, she storms away, leaving me standing on the deck with customers staring at me with gaping mouths.
Sorry, CJ.
***
I angrily rake the comb through my damp hair, relishing the stinging of my scalp. The rest of my shift ended the same way as it started, with me being angry over the whole Luke situation. The ride home with Sam left me feeling just as bitter and angry. She knew me well enough not to say anything more and push the issue. When we got home, I went straight to the shower, hoping some warm water would help, but nope, obviously, nothing is going to work.
“Still mad at me?” I eye Sam in the reflection of the bathroom mirror. She’s leaning against the frame of the door, pouting her lower lip. I blow out a defeated sigh, feeling like a total asshole.
“No. I’m just…I’m so mad at myself for thinking he was different.” I turn away from the mirror and face my best friend. Sam smiles sadly.
“You’re angry at him because you’re hurt…you liked him, Natalia. You can try to deny it all you want, but I know you,” she stresses.
“It’s not even that, Sam. I don’t think I ever really liked him.” Lie. “I started to see him as a friend. I thought we closer than that. I mean, I’ve told him countless stories about my fucked-up family and issues.”
Sam uncrosses her arms and stands to her full height, completely towering over me. Reaching out to me, she pulls me into a hug, and I nuzzle into the warmth of my friend’s arms.
“Want me to fix this? You know I can.”
My chuckle is muffled against her. “Shut up, dork. I’m just glad this semester is coming to an end. The end of the era of Luke Caldwell.”
“Are you sure that’s what you really want?” she asks quietly.
“Yes.” Lie.
The next few days go by without indecent, and thankfully, I don’t have any more run-ins with Luke. I’ve started working on the project again, without his help. Screw him. I don’t need him. Sam bangs on my bedroom door at ten in the morning on our day off. I burrow under the covers, and groan.
Since when does Sam wake up early?
“Go away!” I shout from under the covers.
“Get your ass up!”
“I’m sleeping!” I say with a disgruntled shout. Thankfully, Sam’s banging ceases, and I finally settle back into the silence.
“Nat?” My door creaks open, and Aliza’s voice prompts me to lower the sheets.
“Oh, God. She really brought in the big guns, didn’t she?”
Aliza laughs and shrugs. “You know Sam. If she wants something, it’s better to give it to her when she asks the first time.”
“Ugh. You guys are double teaming me.”
“God, I hope not. That sounds weird.” She says with a laugh, making me chuckle. “Now get up, sleeping beauty. We’re going to brunch.”
“Fine.”
An hour later, I’m strolling out of the bedroom ready to head out to brunch with the girls. We pile into my car, and within twenty minutes, we’re at one of our favorite cafés. The Living Room is a quaint spot we frequent for brunch, with the best espresso and desserts I’ve ever had.
“We’re going out tonight. I don’t care what you both say, we’re going,” Sam says sternly in between bites of food. “And you can’t bring CJ, Aliza.”
“Fine. Fine,” she grumbles.
“And where are we going?”
“We, my friends, are going to the Altitude Sky Lounge. We’re gonna drink and dance until our feet hurt.”
“I’m down for the dancing, just not the drinking,” Aliza says.
“This is a horrible idea. Do you remember what happened the last time we went to the club? It was a complete disaster, Sam.”
“No, it wasn’t.” Sam rolls her eyes dramatically.
“Yeah, it was. Luke basically turned me into a drunk fool, and I ended up ruining Aliza and CJ’s night. I nearly destroyed a relationship!”
“That’s a little dramatic.”
“Natalia, what happened that night wasn’t your fault. Everything that happened after that night needed to happen for reason. You actually did us a favor,” Aliza says with a reassuring smile. Hearing that makes me feel a bit better, but not nearly enough to go out and party.
“C’mon, Nat. Please,” Sam begs, giving me her puppy dog eyes. “Help me out here, Ohio,” Sam hisses under her breath. With a roll of her eyes, Aliza turns to me with puppy dog eyes, and I know there’s no way in hell I’ll get out of going out tonight.
***
After practically being forced at the hands of Sam, we make our entrance into the club. I’m hoping tonight will be a good distraction for me. A great way to keep my mind off Luke Caldwell. I swear that annoying little shit has burrowed his way deep into me, and now I can’t even imagine going a day without him by my side. Which is seriously unhealthy, if I might add.
“Okay, soooo, I have some news, and you have to promise not to be angry.”
Sam turns in front of Aliza and me, halting our movements. This can’t be good. Sam has on her timid face, which can only mean one thing. Disaster.
“Déjà vu. Why do I feel like I’ve heard you say this exact same thing before in a club?”
“Because technically I have said this same thing once before…except in a different club.”
“Sam….” I raise my brows, cautiously waiting to hear what the hell she’s done now.
“I invited Luke and his friends here. And surprisingly, he agreed to come.”
My heart freezes midbeat and the room spins. I reach my arm out, gripping Aliza for support.
“You did what?”
My voice is abnormally calm. Not how I’m feeling at all right now. All my emotions are wreaking havoc within my body right now.
“Think of this as closure. One last hoorah before you can really tell him to fuck off.”
I narrow my eyes at her threateningly. My mind concocts all the ways I can murder my best friend without getting into too much trouble. Do you get less time in prison for killing your best friend if they put you in an awkward position? I wonder if there’s some kind of clause.
I can do this, I tell myself over and over.
Who am I kidding? I can’t do this.
The girls and I make our first stop at the bar where we instantly run into Luke and his bevy of whores. He looks devastatingly handsome under the dim lights of the club. He’s dressed in a white button up that hugs his impressive body beneath. My mind immediately pictures him shirtless. The image is burned into my mind forever. I know I shouldn’t go there, but sometimes I can’t help myself. Luke fresh out of the shower in nothing but a towel is something I’ll never forget, nor do I want to. His hazel eyes flick to mine, lingering a few seconds longer than they should. I can’t remember the last time I had the pleasure of seeing those eyes.
I hate this.
His eyes trail up and down my body. The warmth in his gaze heats me from head to toe. The already stifling air around us thickens. A perfectly manicured hand curls over his chest, effectively ruining the moment, and I nearly vomit in my mouth at the display of affection.
“Well, look who it is. I see you brought your entourage with you,” I say, my voice laced with contempt.
So much for staying calm and collected.
Luke chuckles, revealing that stupid pair of dimples, and I roll my eyes.
“Jealous?”
I smile snidely. “In your dreams, Butterfingers.”
I cross my arms over my chest like a petulant child and turn to Sam and Aliza, who are staring at our debacle like it’s a damn soap opera. Might as well be.
“Soooo,” Sam says with a loud clap of her hands. “Luke,” she says with a nod of her head. “I assume you remember our friend Aliza. Ohio, you remember the pretty boy who thinks he can walk on water, don’t you?”
A smirk tilts the corners of my lips. God, I love my best friend.
Luke and Aliza exchange pleasantries, and he gives me a knowing smile. I’ve told him enough about my friends that he didn’t even need a reintroduction. I swear, Luke Caldwell knows way more about me and everything else in my life than he should.
“Well, I’m gonna meet up with the few of the guys then we’ll catch up with you guys,” he says as he curls his arm around the waist of busty blonde.
Jesus Christ. Could she be any more different than me? My anger boils as I watch the two walk away.
I mean seriously, who the hell does he think he is?
Spinning on my heels, I stride to the bar with purpose, only one thing on my mind. Alcohol. After ordering two shots, I drag the girls out on the dance floor and proceed to grind my ass on any guy near me on the dance floor. “Traicionera” by Sebastian Yatra blares loudly throughout the dance floor and I close my eyes, letting the Latin rhythm flow through me. I sway my hips, and really start to get into it when the chorus comes on. Warm hands slide around my waist and I force myself not to tense up. Strange hands on anyone’s body will have them tensing up, especially if you’re anything like me and not familiar with a man’s touch. The body hovering behind me is big, but not as big as Luke’s, so I know right away it’s not him. A tingle of awareness travels down my spine, and I turn my gaze to the left. I’m met with a pair of angry hazel eyes trained on the hands gripping my hips. Luke’s jaw clenches, and I smile in victory.
Hook, line, sinker, baby. You’re going down.
I amp up my slutty dance moves, grinding my backside into the hard bulge behind me, really trying to piss Luke off even more. I’m trying not to let on how repulsed I am by the guy’s hard on behind me, like seriously, how hard is it to keep it in your pants? No pun intended.
“What’s your name?” The guy’s breath blows behind my neck, and I shiver at the warmth. Our dancing slows to a stop. I turn around, surprised by how cute he actually is.
Maybe this was beneficial after all.
“I’m Natalia.” My smile is shy, and I thank the dark light of the club for covering my blush. He smiles, revealing a row of perfect teeth.
“I’m Zach. It’s nice to meet you.”
My eyes trail up and down his body appreciatively. He has short, cropped blond hair, and big chocolate brown eyes. He doesn’t hold a candle to Luke—he’s set the bar way too high for any other guy, but he’s still good-looking in his own right.
“Can I buy you a drink?” Zach asks with a small smile. Just as I’m about to answer, a warm hand rests on my shoulder. I whip around and my eyes nearly bug out of my head as Luke positions himself between Zach and me.
“She’s with me,” Luke says coldly, the muscles in his jaw clench in anger. I gape at the back of his head, completely stunned.
What the hell?
Zach pointedly looks at me over Luke’s shoulder with furrowed brows. He must notice the shocked expression on my face because the corner of his lip twitches into a small smile. He pointedly nods at me, and says, “I’ll see you around, Natalia,” before walking away. Luke turns around to face me, and I shove him away by his shoulder.
“What the hell was that for?”
“Oh, c’mon, Natalia, that guy was a fucking loser. I did you a favor,” he says in exasperation, and I narrow my eyes at him.
“I liked him!” I shout, feeling my temper rise. “You don’t get to decide who I talk to and who I don’t. ‘Friends’ don’t do that, Luke.” I air quote, putting emphasis on friends. His eyes widen in surprise at my outburst in the middle of the club. He takes a threatening step toward me.
“Friends also look out for each other, and that’s what I was doing.”
I laugh without humor. “Right, of course you were, Luke, because you’re such a great friend. You haven’t even talked to me in God knows how long, and all of a sudden you care? Fuck off.” I turn on my heels, stalking away from him and this pointless argument.
I push my way through the sweaty people on the dancefloor. The bright strobe lights in the club make it hard to see. A heavy hand lands on my shoulder, twisting me around.
“I’m here, aren’t I?” Luke says with a clear look of impatience on his face.
“I didn’t even want you here!” I shout, angrily throwing my hands in the air. His impatience morphs into flat out anger.
“I don’t give a fuck if you didn’t want me here or not. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. So good luck trying to get rid of me.”
My mouth plops open in…shock? Anger? Surprise? I don’t even know.
Snapping my mouth shut, I fix him with a withering glare before whirling around. This time, as I push through the crowd of people, I’m able to get through without Luke stopping me. I catch up with Aliza and Sam, practically begging for us to leave but of course, nothing is ever that simple with Samantha.
“Oh, c’mon, we’re having a great time! Don’t be such a party pooper, Natalia.”
“You,” I say pointing to her, “may be having a good time, but I sure as hell am not!”
“Natalia, don’t be such a—”
“Such a what, Sam? I didn’t even want to be here. Especially not with Luke and the goddam playboy bunnies!”
“She’s right, Sam. Maybe we should just call it a night,” Aliza says, shifting back and forth on her heels.
“Leaving so early?”
A deep voice says from somewhere behind me. I internally groan. I really don’t need this right now. A heavy arm is slung over my shoulder, and a fresh piney scent wafts around me. Luke.
I shrug off his arm. “I don’t want to be here anymore,” I grumble snarkily. Luke grabs a hold of my elbow and lifts a finger up to the girls.
“Give us a moment?”
He drags me away from the girls, and I protest the entire time.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“This has gone on long enough. We’re gonna have a talk, Natalia. Once and for all.”
“And if I don’t want to talk?” I arch a brow at him. He grips my arm and drags me toward the exit.
“Too fucking bad.”
A few texts to Sam and Aliza later, I’m inside Luke’s car on the way to IHOP. It’s the only place around here that’s open all night where we can have an actual conversation without yelling over music. Once I started drinking, I had given my keys to Aliza, so I didn’t have to worry about them getting home. That’s good for the girls, not so much for me.
“I’m sorry,” Luke says suddenly, in the silence of the car. I look at him out of the corner of my eye, refusing to give him my full attention.
“For what, exactly?”
“For being a dick. For not talking to you. For kissing you on that field where I took other girls. Mostly for being angry with you just because you said the kiss didn’t mean anything to you.”
I whip my head toward him, giving myself a kink in my neck.
“When I kissed you on the field, I couldn’t stop myself. That wasn’t me just kissing some random girl, and when you said it meant nothing to you… I lost it. I was just so pissed off. So, I’m sorry. It’s taken me a while to get over it. To get over myself. You’re not like other girls. I don’t know why I thought the kiss would change things.”
I open my mouth to say something. Anything. But nothing comes out. I’m rendered completely speechless. Luke Caldwell wanted to kiss me. I wasn’t just another girl to him.
“So…so, you wanted to kiss me?”
Luke chuckles, and runs a hand through his hair. “Natalia, I’ve wanted to kiss you since that first day at the party where I saw you running your smart mouth.”
I sputter an incredulous laugh, still trying to process what he’s saying. This whole time, he’s wanted to kiss me?
“Wow…I…I don’t even know what to say to that.”
“You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know I’m sorry, and I promise I won’t kiss you again.”
I know I should correct him, tell him I want nothing more than to kiss him again, but I don’t. Instead, I force a smile and nod my head, accepting his truce, and apology.
After parking his car in the IHOP parking lot, Luke pulls me into a tight hug before leading me inside. His scent clings to my clothes and my skin, and I didn’t realize until now how much I’ve missed being close to him. As we eat our stacks of pancakes, I have to convince myself that friendship is all I can offer Luke, even if he does surprisingly want more.
Who would’ve thought?
This time around, I’m being smart. No more foolish slip-ups. I won’t be losing my heart to Luke Caldwell anytime soon.