Present Day

The next afternoon, Vlad pulled up to a quaint but modern house about thirty minutes outside of Moscow in the Krylatskoye District. He’d had an intense but fun practice with Coach Vlacic’s team this morning, followed by an hour of autograph-signing and selfie-taking. Then he’d headed back to the hotel to change and get something to eat before following directions to Natalya’s house. He sat outside for a moment, looking around. Natalya probably had a good life here in a middle-class neighborhood that looked clean, safe, and somewhat well-to-do. That she’d married Coach Vlacic’s son made him happy. He was five or six years older than Vlad, and Coach Vlacic told Vlad he was a scout for a KHL team, which meant he made a good living even though he was probably gone a lot.

Getting out of the car, he strolled up to the front door with a bakery box full of fresh cookies. He didn’t know what to expect or if Coach Vlacic had called to tell her he was coming, but he was glad for the opportunity to see her again, even if she didn’t have any information for him. She’d been his first sexual partner, the first girl he’d kissed even. He’d been sixteen and she was seventeen, brought in to make men out of the guys on the team who didn’t have families, girlfriends. Mostly, the girls were brought in so the guys on the team didn’t go out looking for sex. They wanted them solely focused on hockey but understood the libidos of boys that age could be a distraction.

Vlad had been awed by the sweet, sexy blonde who’d showed him the way around a woman’s body, though she told him she’d only been with one other guy before him. Apparently, her virginity had been worth a year’s rent, and the man who’d taken it kept her with him for a year before setting her free. He didn’t remember much else, but maybe something in her story would help him discover more about his own.

He knocked on the door and tapped his foot nervously, hoping she was home and would be happy to see him. He heard footsteps inside and a voice calling out as the lock turned. The door swung open and Natalya stood there, a tow-headed baby on her hip, her eyes wide with shock as she took him in.

“Vlad?” Her voice was a shocked whisper.

“Hello.” He smiled. “Your father-in-law told me where to find you. Is it okay that I’ve come to see you?”

“I, er, yes, of course.” She stared for a few more seconds before shaking her head in disbelief. “Come in, please.”

He followed her into the house, happy to see it was modern and comfortable. She led him to a bright, airy kitchen and motioned to a small table by the window.

“Can I get you something? Coffee? Water?”

“No, thank you.” He put the box of cookies on the counter. “I brought these for you.”

“Thank you.” She turned and smiled, her blue eyes twinkling. “So. Vladimir Kolnikov. What are you doing back in Russia, in my house, no less?”

“Didn’t Coach, er, your father-in-law tell you I was coming?”

She shook her head. “He called, asked if I would be home this morning, and when I said yes, told me he had a surprise for me. That’s all. I had no idea…” She bounced the baby, who’d begun to fuss, and Vlad reached out to tickle the infant’s feet.

“How old is he?”

“Eight months.” She grinned, nuzzling the back of the baby’s neck. “He was a surprise, but a good one.”

“How long have you been married?”

“A little over a year,” she said. “We’d been dating for three years before this happened. The pregnancy was accidental, but the timing was good. Kosta had just gotten the job with Dinamo Minsk, but we decided not to move because I would be alone there while he travels. Here, I have his family, our friends…” Her eyes met his. “You didn’t come to hear about my life. Why are you here, Vlad? You said you would never come back to Russia once you got to America.”

Vlad sank into the nearest chair and ran a hand over his short hair. “I have questions…about my past. I feel like part of me is empty.”

“This is why you embarrassed your fiancée, because you were searching for the past?” Her eyes held no censure, but Vlad felt it anyway and sighed.

“I was stupid,” he admitted. “I should have talked to her… I felt ridiculous. I can’t explain it. All I could think about was running. The weird thing is, I wanted her to come with me—I just couldn’t ask her.”

She sat on the chair across from him and bounced the baby on her knee as she spoke. “You never liked to talk,” she remembered quietly. “You liked to listen, you liked to touch, and you liked to feel. But not talk. Getting you to tell me anything, even good things, was like pulling teeth.”

He nodded. “I know.”

“Do you love her?”

“Very much.”

“But you couldn’t talk to her.”

He shook his head. “I couldn’t talk to anyone.”

“You’re talking to me.”

“You came from the same miserable background I did. We only knew each other about a year, but in a lot of ways, we grew up together. Neither of us had parents, family to lean on, so we made the most of what we had.”

“We did,” she said softly. “But we both got through it. You’re in America doing what you love. And I have a family, which is all I ever wanted. Why are you risking your future for a past that almost certainly will break your heart?”

“Did you know your parents?” he asked abruptly.

She shook her head. “My grandmother raised me until I was ten, and then she died. My father left when my mother found out she was pregnant, and she died when I was six months old—suicide. My grandmother said it was because she had a broken heart. I never knew either of them, and honestly? Why the fuck would I go look for that bastard now? Even if he didn’t love my mother, he still could have been a father to me, so the fact he left tells me what I need to know about him. Maybe there were circumstances, things we didn’t know, but he definitely knew about me because my grandmother was there when my mother told him. She said he told her he had to go home, think about it; they never saw him again. What good would it do for me to find out exactly why he disappeared? Fuck him. Fuck the past. The past sucks.” She looked down at her son, who had his fist in his mouth and was gurgling happily. “This is what’s important. My son. My husband. Our life together.”

Vlad nodded. “Yes, but you know the history. You know your father left. You know your mother loved him. You know she died. You know their names… I know nothing. I especially don’t know why a woman named Irina paid for me to start playing hockey.”

Natalya frowned. “I don’t remember an Irina.”

“She was involved with my first team, when I was ten. I didn’t know it then, but I spoke with my old coach yesterday and he told me. He also told me to forget the past and go home.”

“But you’re not going to.” She shook her head. “Well, then ask what you want to know. I don’t think I know anything about your past, but I’ll tell you what I can.”

“How were you chosen for me?”

She frowned. “I don’t think I was, not at first. I sold my virginity to one of the coaches on the Olympic team and he kept me in an apartment, at his beck and call, for a year. He was ready to move on to someone else, so he introduced me to Grisha.”

“Who’s Grisha?”

“I’m not sure.” She shrugged. “He had a group of girls, prostitutes, but then he had us. A handful of us that were…” She hesitated. “Special? Elite, perhaps? We were younger, prettier, cleaner. Obviously, when I got to Grisha, I’d only been with one man. He asked me about this repeatedly, made me go to multiple doctors to get checked. He said if I was clean and healthy, he would send me to the young hockey players instead of disgusting old men who often were into every kinky thing in the world.”

“So we wound up together by accident?”

She looked thoughtful. “I think Grisha liked me, or at least thought I was pretty… When we arrived at the game the first night, he asked me what I thought of you.” She blushed. “I told him you were sexy and I’d be happy to make you a man.”

They chuckled together. “You did a good job. At least none of my subsequent lovers have complained.”

“Did Rachel complain?”

He met her eyes. “You know her name?”

“I follow you online, see how you’re doing, watch clips from the games… We were friends. I care for you.”

He nodded. “Thank you. Yes, we are friends, and I care for you, too. You’re happy, yes?”

She smiled. “Very much. Kosta is wonderful. Did you know him?”

“Barely. I met him a few times, but he’s older, was already working with the team in some capacity… I don’t remember.”

“He’s good to me, loves me, doesn’t care about what I used to do or who I used to be. And that’s the most important thing. Does Rachel care that you don’t have parents? That you were an orphan?”

He shook his head. “No, not at all. She’s…” His voice trailed off and a familiar rush of guilt washed over him. “She’s not what you’d expect from a movie star. Sweet, gentle, caring. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted.”

“And you dumped her.”

“I didn’t dump her,” he huffed impatiently. “I had a panic attack and couldn’t go through with the wedding. My timing sucked and it’s been a complete disaster, but I never dumped her. When I get back to the States, I’m going to do everything in my power to make this up to her.”

“You’d better hurry,” Natalya said softly. “If I was her, I wouldn’t wait for you. You embarrassed her in front of the whole world. Even here in Russia, I saw what happened.”

His face burned with embarrassment and he drummed his fingers on the table. “I know. Believe me, I know. She won’t take my calls, though, so until I get back, there’s nothing I can do.”

“What else can I tell you?” she asked.

“Where to find Grisha.”