Present Day

Rachel heard them talking. Nestled in the cool, comfortable bed in Toli and Tessa Petrov’s guest room, she could only make out hushed voices and the sound of Tessa’s three-year-old daughter, Raina, occasionally letting out a shriek. With a sigh, Rachel sat up. It was Sunday, the day after her non-wedding. The day after the man she loved more than anything abandoned her. The day that was supposed to be the first day of her honeymoon. There’d been a gift-opening brunch planned here at Toli and Tessa’s house at eleven and it was now… she looked around and found her phone still in her purse. It was ten thirty-five. She was positive Tessa had called everyone to cancel—just immediate family and their closest friends had been invited—but Rachel needed to get up and double check anyway.

Pulling on shorts and a T-shirt, she freshened up in the bathroom and did her best to hide the puffiness under her eyes from crying half the night. Thank God for makeup, she thought wearily, putting on just enough to make her look human. There was still no doubt she’d been crying, but at least she didn’t look like death warmed over twice. She put her hair back in a ponytail, wishing she’d washed out the gallons of hairspray they’d used to keep her fancy up-do in place, but she’d barely been able to function last night, much less shower or dry her hair.

Tessa’s quiet voice and Brock’s deep baritone coming from the kitchen drifted up the stairs as Rachel softly padded down the hall. Brock and Ashleigh had gone above and beyond the call of duty yesterday and she’d been more than grateful for their assistance as she’d spiraled into so much anger and humiliation it had nearly consumed her.

“Okay, you can stop whispering,” she said, walking into the kitchen with as much of a smile as she could muster up. She put her hands on her hips as the room fell silent and gave them a scowl. “Seriously, don’t do this. I was humiliated in front of the whole world yesterday—the last thing I need is for the people I love most to treat me differently.”

“I’m sorry, sweetie.” Ashleigh got up and ran to hug her.

Ashleigh had to be tired, too—she’d been with Rachel until the wee hours of the morning, holding her hand as she’d cried—and she was pregnant.

“You should be asleep,” Rachel said to her gently. “You were with me all night.”

Ashleigh shook her head. “I’m fine. I’ll take a nap later. How are you?”

Rachel sighed, looking around at the faces of her and Vlad’s closest friends. “I’m a mess, but now I have to stand tall and face reality. He’s gone and I’m sure the media is having a field day with poor, jilted Rachel Kennedy.”

Ashleigh sighed. “A reporter spotted him at the airport going through security yesterday afternoon, but then airport officials whisked him away and no one saw what flight he got on.”

Rachel took a deep breath, trying to keep her emotions in check. “Okay, well, I guess he’s running away and leaving me to deal with everything. Tessa, do you have a pad of paper? I need to make a list of shit I need to do.”

“There’s nothing you need to do,” Tessa said, handing her a cup of coffee. “Unless it has to do with work.”

“I have to cancel the honeymoon reservations, return wedding gifts—”

Ashleigh was shaking her head. “Tessa and I are already handling all that, brunch was mostly canceled—although we’ve already got the food, so a few people are coming over.”

Rachel narrowed her eyes. “How few?”

Tessa gave her a small smile. “Well, I have an entire garage, the dining room, and both refrigerators full of food that’s going to go bad. What else could I do but invite some hungry hockey players over to eat? Just our inner circle, though—Zakk and Tiff, Dom and Molly, Cody and Suze…” She paused. “And Jamie and Viggo.”

Rachel’s eyes lit up. “Jamie and Viggo are coming? Oh, that’s good, I’m looking forward to seeing Jamie.” Rachel had gotten close to her ex-fiancé again after his brutal attack earlier in the year by a group of Aryan skinheads who’d seen him with his then-boyfriend, now-husband Viggo.

“So it’ll just be us, but there won’t be a ton of wasted food and enough kids running around to distract you.”

“What time are they coming? I’d like to take a shower and freshen up. I’ve got so much hairspray in my hair, I must weigh an extra two or three pounds!”

“I told them noon, but no one expects you to put on a pretty face or entertain anyone,” Tessa said. “Just do whatever you need to do to get through today and we’ll all be here to support you.”

“I just…” Rachel swallowed, fighting the sudden urge to cry. “I want to thank you for having my back through all this. I don’t know what I would have done if I’d had to stay at the hotel and deal with the media, the paparazzi, fans… Just, thank you.”

“You’re one of us,” Toli said, his blue eyes finding hers intently. “I don’t know what’s going on with Vlad, but I’m going to find out, and no matter what happens, we’re your friends, too.”

Rachel nodded. “Thank you.”

“Come on, have something to eat,” Tessa nudged her. “You look like a feather could knock you over.”

Rachel sank into a chair. “Just a bagel or something… I don’t feel that great.”

“It’s going to be okay,” Toli said softly, squeezing her shoulder.

Rachel took a shower and got dressed, opting for shorts and a T-shirt again instead of the pretty summer dress she’d been planning to wear. She put on a little makeup, enough to hide her tired eyes, and left her hair hanging down around her shoulders. She was about to head downstairs to greet everyone when the diamond on her left hand caught the light, sparkling brightly. She stared at it a long moment, trying to decide what to do, before slowly slipping it off her finger. She set it in the decorative crystal bowl on the dresser and walked out of the room. She’d leave it at Vlad’s condo when she went to clear out her things.

With a groan, she remembered how many of his things were in her house in L.A. Well, he’d have to come get them. She wasn’t letting him off the hook that easily. She would move her things out of his place as soon as possible, but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of paying someone to move his. Jerk. The thought was fleeting as she pictured his sad face two nights ago at the rehearsal dinner. He’d been legitimately unhappy about something but had hid it from almost everyone else. They were emotionally attuned to each other, so she sensed Vlad had been struggling with something even though he’d refused to admit it. Whether it was because he didn’t want to hurt her or something else, she had no way of knowing, but the look in his eyes had been one she’d never seen before. He’d kissed her when it was over, told her he loved her and would see her at the ceremony the following day. That was the last time she’d seen or talked to him.

Laughter wafted up the stairs and she took a deep breath, steeling herself for the onslaught of sympathy, questions and pitying looks. They didn’t mean anything by it—they were her friends and cared about her, but it was still going to be hard.

“Hey, everybody.” She walked into the family room with a smile that probably didn’t reach her eyes, but she didn’t care.

As she’d suspected, everyone immediately turned, ready to engulf her in hugs and words of encouragement, their eyes full of sympathy, empathy, and other things she didn’t want to identify. Instead of focusing on that, she let herself get lost in friendship and easy laughter. It was better than tears and misery, and there would undoubtedly be plenty of that to go around once she went back to her big empty house in L.A.

“How are you, honey?”

Jamie’s soft voice in her ear brought on an unexpected bout of tears and she blinked rapidly to keep them from falling. “I-I, I guess I’m okay.” She turned to give him a weak smile.

“You don’t have to fake it for me,” he whispered, reaching up to brush a tear away. “You must be a mess.”

She took a ragged breath. “Kinda.”

“It’s okay. Come on, let’s talk.” He took her arm and guided her out to the patio. They sank into chairs under an umbrella and for a while neither of them spoke.

Rachel glanced over at the handsome man she’d once thought she would spend the rest of her life with. He was as handsome as ever, his long-lashed brown eyes soft and warm, a touch of five o’clock shadow giving him a rakish look that was different for him. He looked relaxed and happy, something she hadn’t seen on him in a long time. Marriage was good for him, and she couldn’t help but stare down at the wedding band on his left hand sadly.

“So, how’s life?” she managed to ask.

He chuckled. “Nice deflection. My life is fine—how about you? Anyone asked about your poor broken heart? How you’re going to pack up your shit at his apartment? What you’re going to do about the paparazzi inevitably staking out your house in L.A.?”

She smiled fondly. “Nope, just you. No one else has thought about anything except the wedding disaster.”

He reached out his hand and she took it gratefully. “What can I do?” he asked softly. “Do you want me to come with you when you clean out your things?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I figured Ashleigh would come, but you could come, too. Might be good to have a big strong man to carry boxes downstairs.”

He smiled. “I can do that. I also have decent-sized shoulders for you to cry on.”

“Viggo probably wouldn’t like that.”

He rolled his eyes. “Do you really think I’d be married to a guy who doesn’t understand the difference between a clingy ex-girlfriend and a good friend who’s going through a terrible ordeal?”

“I honestly don’t know him very well.”

“Trust me—he knows I plan to be available for anything you need, and he’d like to get to know you. He’s a great guy, Rach. I couldn’t have done this, made such a drastic change in my life, if he wasn’t.”

“I’m looking forward to getting to know him, although I don’t know how much time I’ll be spending in Vegas now that Vlad and I aren’t together.”

“Tell me what he said,” he asked after a moment. “Did he say he just didn’t love you? Or love you enough?”

“He said he loved me and he was sorry. That he couldn’t do it yet. No real explanation, no excuses, just that he’s not ready. Whatever the fuck that means.”

Jamie frowned. “You think he got cold feet?”

“Seems that way. He told me a few weeks ago he’d been having nightmares again—he used to get them as a kid in the orphanage. He told me it stopped once he got to the NHL but started up again a few months ago. They weren’t often, but last week he woke me up twice because he was crying out in his sleep.”

“Stress of the wedding…” Jamie surmised.

“That has to mean he was having second thoughts, right? I mean, I’m no psychologist, but that’s pretty evident.”

He looked thoughtful. “I had nightmares after my attack, but never when I was with Viggo. They’d come back when he was traveling and such, and go away again as soon as he was beside me. It does sound like nerves, but I’ve known Vlad since he got to Vegas and I don’t take him for a guy who leaves a woman at the altar for no reason. Something had to have happened.”

She shook her head. “He never gave any indication he was scared or having second thoughts. He seemed a little quiet during the rehearsal dinner, but when I asked about it, he said he was fine, so I’m baffled.”

“I’m so sorry, honey.” He looked sad. “I didn’t spend a lot of time with him after my attack, but I know he’s crazy about you.”

“Just not enough to marry me.” She leaned back, closing her eyes. “It was so humiliating—why couldn’t he have called it off the day before? That’s what I don’t understand… Couldn’t he have done it privately?”

“Something had to have happened,” he repeated. “I know you don’t want to hear that, but this wasn’t a random, hey-let’s-embarrass-Rachel-as-badly-as-I-know-how moment. I refuse to believe that.”

“Well, obviously he doesn’t trust me enough to tell me.”

“I know you’re angry and hurt right now but give him a little time before you give up on him. My gut tells me there’s more to the story, and once you get past this initial humiliation and pain, you’ll see I’m right.”

She nodded. “Oh, I agree. What bothers me is that he didn’t trust me to help, or at the very least to give me the real reason so we could deal with it together. Instead, he left me hanging, in a room full of our friends and family. Why would he do it that way?”

“I don’t know.”

They looked up as Tessa poked her head out. “Rach? Your mom just called and is demanding to see you. Said you’re not answering your phone and she’s coming over.”

Rachel sighed in resignation. “Yes, of course, but please send a car for her so she doesn’t lead the paparazzi straight to your door.”

Tessa nodded. “Got it.”

Before Rachel could say anything, Viggo came out, his eyes searching hers as he hesitated. “Do you mind if I join you? If you’d rather be alone, it’s okay…”

“Not at all.” Rachel smiled. “Come sit down. I’m sorry we’ve never really had a chance to hang out.”

Viggo chuckled. “This probably isn’t the best day to make new friends.”

“Actually, it’s the perfect day to make new friends. I need all the friendship I can get.”

* * *

The next morning, they were a group of five that drove in two cars over to Vlad and Rachel’s condo. Though it was technically Vlad’s, she’d been living there for nearly six months, just as he lived at her house in L.A. as well. Brock, Ashleigh, Jamie, and Tessa followed Rachel up to the spacious condo with a handful of boxes and one empty suitcase. Rachel unlocked the door and stepped inside, swallowing hard. It was just as they’d left it, clean and everything put away. The housekeeper had come yesterday and was supposed to come back the day before they returned from their honeymoon to freshen things up. Instead, Rachel was here to empty out her drawers and the things she had in the closet and bathroom.

“I’ll get your stuff out of the closet,” Ashleigh said, dragging a suitcase behind her.

Rachel smiled. “Thanks.” She wandered into the bathroom and pulled her hair care products, toothbrush, and skincare products off the shelves, tossing them into a small bag she’d brought.

She went to the dresser and opened the top drawer where she kept panties and bras, dumping them into the suitcase Ashleigh was filling.

“Anything in the kitchen or living room?” Brock asked.

“I don’t think so, but I want you to take this.” She handed her engagement ring to him. “It’s not safe to leave it sitting out here—what if he got robbed or the housekeeper decided it was worth losing her job for a ring that probably cost three years’ salary for her? Just give it to him when you see him, okay?”

Brock nodded sadly. “You okay, hon?”

“I don’t have a choice but to be okay.”

“He loves you,” Brock said. “I don’t know what’s going on, and I had no idea he was going to do this, but I know he loves you. Something must be going on…”

“Blackmail?” Jamie suggested. “God knows, I’ve had my share.”

“And he couldn’t tell me? What could he possibly have done? I mean, if it was something really heinous I wouldn’t want to marry him anyway, but even after how badly he’s hurt me, I have a hard time believing he did something like that.”

“I agree,” Brock said. “That’s not who he is.”

“Well, we’re not going to figure it out standing here talking,” Rachel sighed. “So let’s get this over with and get out of here.”

“I think the closet is empty,” Ashleigh said, coming out of the bedroom. “Do you want to double-check?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“I really want to kick his ass,” Jamie grumbled as Rachel walked around checking closets and suitcases.

“You and me both,” Ashleigh muttered.

“I can hear you,” Rachel snickered. “And kicking his ass won’t help anything.”

“I’m worried about him,” Brock said after a moment. “Like we’ve all said, he loves you. Why would he do this? Do you think he’s in trouble?”

“I have no idea,” Rachel said sadly.

Ashleigh frowned. “He wouldn’t talk to you or Brock, so either he’s gone off the rails or something happened. Why else would he do this?”

“Come on, guys,” Rachel said, rolling a full suitcase in Brock’s direction. “Don’t look at me like that—I’m going to be fine. I can’t promise I’ll be waiting when Vlad decides to come clean about whatever’s going on, but right now I have no choice but to move forward. I need normalcy from you, not pity. Can we please change the subject?”

“Brock and I are coming to L.A. with you,” Ashleigh announced, lifting her chin. “It’s not because we pity you but because we want to be there for you—and I have to be at work tomorrow anyway. Okay? Let us be there for you. That’s what friends are for, right?”

Rachel couldn’t help but smile. “Yes, that is what friends are for. Thank you.”

“And I’m always just a phone call away,” Jamie said quietly.

“I know. Thank you. I appreciate you guys coming with me today and being here for me.” Rachel turned and headed to the kitchen, anxious to get this over with and go home.