Vlad was exhausted by the end of the day. Coach hadn’t been kidding when he’d said it was going to be a long one, and by the time he was packing up to go home he was wiped. He and Brock had barely exchanged more than few nods over the course of the day, which meant Brock was pissed at him, but he was pretty mad, too. The fact Brock had kept such a big secret from him hurt and though he’d hurt Rachel, this wasn’t fair. He understood Brock wanting to protect her after Vlad disappeared, but not telling him about her cancer? There were definitely going to be words now that practice was over.

Vlad left first, putting his bag in the Corvette and waiting patiently for Brock to come out. Finally, one of the last guys to leave, Brock came out the exit and walked towards his truck. Vlad leaned against it, arms folded over his chest.

“What’s up?” Brock threw his bag in the back, not looking Vlad in the eye.

“I know she’s sick,” Vlad ground out. “You want to explain why I had to find out through the grapevine instead of from my best friend?”

“Best friend?” Brock narrowed his gaze on him. “My best friend wouldn’t have walked out twenty minutes before his wedding and left me there to explain why to almost five hundred people. Not to mention having to be the one to console Rachel, who still probably thinks I know more than I do.” Brock was definitely pissed.

“My best friend would’ve understood I panicked,” Vlad snapped back.

“A real best friend would’ve fucking texted me something was up and fucking talked to me.”

“I had a fucking anxiety attack!” Vlad hissed, shoving Brock. “I could barely use my fingers.”

Brock shoved him back and glared. “So you drove away while you were having a panic attack? Are you fucking stupid?”

“I had to get away.” Their voices were getting louder and a couple of the guys who hadn’t left yet were staring, unsure whether to get involved.

“It was a dick fucking move!” Brock shoved him again.

“I know!” Vlad shoved him back, this time slamming him against the truck.

Brock elbowed him in the ribs with a growl, knocking him away and pointing a finger at him. “Don’t put this on me ’cause you lost your girl—that’s not on me. You did that all by yourself.”

“So, she really is back with Jamie?” Vlad’s fists were clenched at his side, twitching, the urge to swing getting stronger with each passing moment.

“No, she’s not fucking back with Jamie.” Viggo closed one of his massive beefy fists around Vlad’s wrist, preventing him from throwing a punch. “What the hell is wrong with you two?”

“What the fuck were those pictures about?” Vlad whirled on him, eyes blazing.

Viggo didn’t even flinch. Though he and Vlad were about the same height, Viggo had a good thirty pounds on the younger man and most people thought twice about going at him, both on and off the ice. He didn’t play the role of enforcer, but his sheer bulk made it look like he did.

“Those pictures were of a kind, caring man stepping up to the plate for a friend who had no one else to turn to. Even though it made his husband a bit jealous and portrayed him as a possible adulterer, he shouldered that burden without a second thought to himself. Because that’s who Jamie is. Now, how about you settle down and show us who you are.”

Vlad took a step back, breathing hard though the fire had left his eyes. “I don’t know who I am,” he said after a slight hesitation. “I thought I did, but I don’t. I don’t fucking know anything anymore.” He turned towards his car, but Brock stepped in his path, blocking him.

“Jesus, man, don’t do this. Not again.”

“Do what?” Vlad growled, trying to fight through a wave of emotion that was bound to make him do something embarrassing any second now.

“Run away. You already did that once and look how it turned out. Stay. Talk to me. Fuck, did you not just call me your best friend?”

“Yeah.” Vlad couldn’t look him in the eye.

“Let’s go grab something to eat. Ashleigh’s in L.A., so I have nothing else to do but be there for you. That’s what friendship is, man. Do I have to spell this out?”

“No.” Vlad cleared his throat. “No, I… I’m grateful.” He turned to Viggo. “You want to come? If Jamie’s in L.A.…”

Viggo shrugged. “I could come hang out, if you feel like company.”

“I do.” Vlad was struggling, uncomfortable with this kind of intimacy with his friends. He’d only ever experienced this with Rachel. Although he and Brock were close, their friendship centered more on hockey, video games, and—before Rachel and Ashleigh—picking up women. Now it had morphed into something more solid, like brothers, and the only other guy to come close to that was Toli. It was time to step out of his comfort zone and let people in. He’d done it with Rachel and had no regrets, so maybe this was the next step in his life.

“So let’s go then,” Brock said. “I’m starving. You still order from that Chinese place around the corner?”

Vlad nodded. “Tell me what you want and I’ll call on the way home so it’ll be there not long after we arrive.”

They gave him their orders and then got into their vehicles, leaving the arena one behind the other.

Their food arrived less than ten minutes after they got to Vlad’s condo and they dug in heartily. No one spoke for a while but finally Brock broke the silence.

“Rachel made me swear on my kid I wouldn’t tell you about the cancer.”

“What kind is it?” Vlad asked quietly, meeting his friend’s eyes.

“Uterine.”

“Uterine?” Vlad looked confused. “This is cervical cancer?”

“No.” Brock shook his head. “It’s in her uterus and based on what the surgeon said, it’s Stage I, which means it hasn’t spread. They took everything, though.”

“Everything?” Vlad frowned.

Brock and Viggo exchanged a look. “Everything,” Viggo said gently. “You know, her woman parts.”

“Her woman…” Vlad stared from one to the other. “I don’t understand.”

“They took her uterus, cervix, ovaries, everything. All the baby-making stuff.”

“Oh my God.” The news hit Vlad like a physical blow and he closed his eyes, pain rushing through every part of him. Guilt, frustration, and a subtle despair washed over him, the tightening in his chest warning him of another anxiety attack.

“Vlad?” Brock was watching him with concern.

“I just…” Vlad took a long, shaky breath. “I just need a minute.”

“In through your nose, out through your mouth,” Viggo said quietly. “Give yourself a few minutes to process the information.”

Vlad didn’t need time to process anything; all he could think about was Rachel going through this by herself, after he’d publicly humiliated her. God, how could he have been so stupid? She would never forgive him and he couldn’t blame her.

“Someone should have told me,” he whispered, trying to still the pounding of his heart or the roaring in his ears. “Someone should have let me know she needed me. I thought… I thought…” He let out a growl of frustration and held his head in his hands.

“Keep breathing,” Brock said gently. “Come on, it’s okay. You didn’t know and she didn’t want you to know.”

“Why?” he cried softly. “Even if she was angry, she has to know I still care… I would be there for her the way Jamie has been.”

“Don’t you see?” Viggo asked. “She was afraid you would only come back because of the cancer, and she needed you to come back because you love her. Jamie and I went through this, you know. He was so sick, so badly hurt after his attack and at one point he asked me if I still loved him. He was afraid I’d only stayed because of how it would look if I left while he was fighting for his life. You know? So I get it, but now that you know, you’re going to have to work twice as hard to convince her you were coming back anyway.”

“I sent texts, flowers, the painting…”

“Is that what’s in the box?” Brock demanded. “She hasn’t opened it, but Jamie and I finally carried it inside. It sat on her porch for a week.”

“I saw it in New York and knew it would be perfect over her fireplace.” Vlad sighed. “Fuck, what am I going to do? How do I make this up to her?”

“You beg,” Viggo said firmly.

“Grovel,” Brock added.

“Buy her things,” Viggo said.

“Cry,” Brock muttered.

“Cry?” Vlad’s head snapped up.

“It could work,” Brock reasoned.

Vlad groaned. “You two are no help.”

“Call Jamie and see what he suggests,” Viggo suggested. “He knows her as well as you do and he’s good at this stuff. Me, I’m kind of a douche when it comes to the emotional stuff. I mean, I can be romantic or whatever, but I never fucked up this bad, so I don’t know how you fix it.”

“You and Ashleigh were apart for nearly two months,” Vlad reminded Brock.

“Yeah and our friend, Sonya, had to throw us together at that charity thing,” Brock reminded him. “I mean, I was getting ready to go beg her to forgive me, but it was hard, ’cause she wrote me off.”

“Has Rachel written me off?” Vlad asked sadly.

“I think so.” Brock nodded.

“But she still loves you,” Viggo insisted. “Jamie said so.”

“Maybe he just said that so you wouldn’t be jealous,” Vlad pointed out.

Viggo shook his head. “No way. We don’t lie to each other. We argue and disagree like any couple, but we never lie. That was something we vowed to each other from the moment we decided to be together. No lies, ever.”

Vlad nodded. “If she still loves me, there’s hope.”

“It still won’t be easy,” Brock pointed out.

“I’ll call Jamie tomorrow,” Vlad said.

“I’ll text him, find a time when he’s not with her.” Viggo nodded. “Otherwise, he probably won’t even pick up. Depending on what’s going on, he might even tell her you called, so let me talk to him first.”

“And I’ll see what Ashleigh says,” Brock continued. “She might have some advice based on whatever Rachel’s told her.”

“Thanks, guys.” Vlad smiled faintly. “I really appreciate it.”

“You feeling better?” Viggo asked. “With the panic attack, I mean?”

“Yeah…” Vlad frowned. “It went away as we talked.”

“That’s what you do with friends,” Brock nudged him. “Asshole.”

“Cocksucker,” Vlad quipped.

“That would be me,” Viggo deadpanned.

For a moment Vlad and Brock didn’t move. Then Brock snorted, though he tried valiantly to keep a straight face. Finally, Vlad couldn’t hold it in and burst out laughing, leaning back on the couch holding his stomach.

“What’s so funny?” Viggo demanded as his eyes twinkled with mirth.

Brock and Vlad just kept laughing.