Harlow

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“This is really nice.” Jackie pops her head out of the bathroom of the apartment we’re currently looking at.

I decided this morning that I wanted someone to go look at apartments with me and give me a second opinion. While Miles was my first choice, he wasn’t really an option after taking the whole weekend off work. So I called Jackie, knowing she’d drop everything to go with me because that’s just who she is.

“I love the high ceilings and the open floor plan. It’s small, but what more do you really need? For the price, I think it’s the best we’ve looked at so far.”

“Yeah, I agree.” I smile, looking around the open space.

It’s a loft style apartment about six blocks from Miles’ building in downtown Cincinnati. It’s close to Inked which means I could walk to work and return the car my father has been letting me drive since I came home.

While the building itself is not as new as the one Miles lives in, the apartment is really modern and well kept. It’s one large room, set up like a studio apartment, and there’s a small staircase in the corner that leads up to the loft bedroom. It only has a half wall and is open to the downstairs, but considering I’ll be living alone, privacy isn’t really an issue.

“I think this is it,” I say, looking back to Jackie.

“I agree.” She bounces on the balls of her feet. “Let’s head back down to the leasing office and see about getting a deposit put down. You don’t want to wait and risk losing this place.”

“You’re absolutely right,” I agree, nervousness forming in the pit of my belly.

I knew moving out on my own would be different at first – a little exciting, a lot scary – but that eventually, I would settle into it just like I have all the other changes that I’ve gone through in the past couple of months.

My mind instantly moves to Miles, and I can’t help the smile that forms on my lips. Out of all the changes, he’s by far the best. Words can’t describe how quickly my feelings have developed  for him.

We’ve been ‘sleeping’ together for a week, and already I feel on the verge of professing my love to him.

I’ve always been someone that falls too hard, and too fast and once I do, I have a hard time letting go. I think that somehow stems back to my childhood and losing my mom. I know what it’s like to have everything ripped away, so instead of being scared, I dive in head first and hold on with everything I have. Sometimes it’s a good thing, sometimes not so much.

I have yet to decide if this is one of those times or not.

“You ready?” Jackie cuts into my thoughts, and I look up to see her watching me curiously.

“Yeah.” I smile, taking one last look around the apartment. “Let’s go.”

——

After filling out the application for the apartment, Jackie insisted we go out to lunch. The apartment manager said he could have an answer for me in as little as an hour or two, so we decided to stay in the city a while longer in hopes that I can head over and sign the lease today if I’m approved.

“So.” Jackie waits until our waiter delivers our drinks and walks away before leaning back in her chair and pinning her gaze on me. “You going to tell me who’s responsible for the smile you’ve been wearing all day today or are you going to make me guess?”

“What?” I nearly choke on my sweet tea, picking the exact wrong time to take a big gulp.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that.” She leans forward, placing her elbows on the table. “I know that look, Harlow.”

“What look?” I play dumb.

“The look that says you’re falling in love. Or maybe you’re already in love. Whatever it is, a mother can always tell.”

My gut instinct is to correct her and remind her that she isn’t my mother, but I immediately shove that away. Jackie has been more of a mom to me than she ever needed to be and for that, I will always be grateful. But I’ve always struggled a little with the guilt that carries. Sometimes it feels like my mom left and Jackie stepped in and replaced her, and that’s that. I feel this need to keep my mom here, as my mom, even though she’s been gone for years. As such I don’t give Jackie as much credit as I should most days.

“I think maybe you forgot to take your meds this morning,” I tease, casually taking another sip of tea.

“Is it someone you work with? I’ve always found guys with tattoos very attractive.” Her grin widens.

“We are not talking about this right now.”

“So there is someone.” She lightly smacks the table.

“No, there isn’t.” I realize my mistake and move to cover my tracks. “I’m still married, remember? I’m in no place to start up a new relationship.”

My phone chooses that moment to buzz to life on the table, and Jackie’s eyes instantly go to the screen.

“It’s Miles,” she says, my stomach completely bottoming out the instant it leaves her lips.

“What... No. No, it’s not,” I stutter out, tripping over my words.

Her eyes widen in surprise, a slow grin spreading across her mouth.

“I meant, Miles is calling you,” she says, gesturing to my phone just as I silence the ringer.

“Oh, yeah. I knew that.”

“So, Miles, huh?” She nods slowly.

“Definitely not,” I say, feeling heat spread across my cheeks. “Miles is my boss.”

I’ve never been a very good liar which is why I typically don’t even attempt it, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to admit that she’s caught me red-handed either.

“Uh huh.” She gives me a knowing look.

“Honestly, Jackie,” I try again but stop when I clearly see it’s getting me nowhere.

“How does Winston feel about this?” she asks, sliding the paper off her straw before dropping it into her ice water.

“He doesn’t know,” I say without thinking it through.

“So it really is true. You and Miles?” She practically bounces out of her seat in excitement.

“It’s not what you’re thinking. We’re just keeping things casual,” I say.

“Honey, I know casual, and what you’re doing isn’t that. You’re walking around with stars in your eyes and that, my darling, is not just a casual relationship. It never is once your heart gets involved.”

“Well, as far as he’s concerned it is,” I tell her, really not  sure how he actually feels.

He said we’re exclusive and that he only wants to see me, but that’s all we’ve established. Not that I expect anything more from him at this point in our relationship. It’s way too early, and honestly, I feel like I’m ten steps ahead of where he is emotionally.

“He’s a guy. It always takes them longer to catch up,” she says as if she knows exactly what I was just thinking. “For what it’s worth, I approve.” She smiles widely. “Miles is such a good guy. And he’s pretty easy on the eyes too.” She winks.

“Jackie!” I openly gawk at her.

“What? Just because I’m old enough to be his mother doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate that he’s one fine piece of eye candy.”

“He is pretty gorgeous,” I agree, smiling.

“That he is.” She nods enthusiastically. “But not only that, he’s got a good heart. And lord knows after everything he’s been through he deserves to find someone who makes him happy.”

“Everything he’s been through?” I question, assuming she’s talking about his time away overseas but wanting to clarify.

“You weren’t here when he came home. I’ve never seen a man more broken in my entire life. It took a long time for him to pick himself back up. Even when he finally did he wasn’t quite the same.”

“What was he like? After he came back.” I can’t help but want to know. Miles talks so vaguely about his time in the military even though I know it shaped who he is today.

It’s obvious he still carries a lot of weight from that time in his life. Maybe one day he’ll trust me enough to open up to me completely.

“Quiet. Withdrawn. We had him over for dinner a couple weeks after he came home. He was staying with Winston because his mom had just moved to Florida to take care of her own mother. He has no other family in the area.” She pauses when the waiter reappears with our salads, waiting until he places them on the table and walks away before continuing, “He barely spoke the entire dinner. Your father and I kept trying to start conversations with him, but he kept his eyes down on his plate, shuffling the food around with his fork. I’m pretty sure he didn’t take a single bite during that entire meal.”

“Wow,” I say, finding it hard to picture Miles like that.

“He had a hard time adjusting. He was in and out of support groups, but nothing stuck. But then he found Dexter, and I swear, that man saved his life. He didn’t just give that boy a job; he gave him a sense of purpose.”

“It’s hard to imagine Miles like that. He always seems so strong.”

“We are all weak at times. Even the strongest of us.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” I pick up my fork and push my salad around the plate, suddenly not feeling very hungry.

“But that’s all in the past.” Jackie claps her hands together. “Now look at him. And look at you. Sometimes God pushes us down, so we’re able to find where we’re meant to be once we get back up.”

I nod, really considering what she’s saying. Maybe she’s right. Maybe everything happens for a reason and Miles, and I were meant to find each other. Not ten years ago when neither of us had any idea what we wanted, but now. I think it’s true what they say. Timing is everything.

“Don’t say anything to Dad, okay?” I request after a long moment.

“I promise it will stay between you and me until you’re ready for other people to know. Until then, know I’m here for you if you ever need to talk.”

“Thank you, Jackie,” I say, realizing just how lucky I am to have someone like her in my life.

“That’s what moms are for.” She grins, shoveling a big bite of salad into her mouth moments later.

——

“Hey, sorry I missed your call. I was at lunch with Jackie,” I say seconds after Miles’ voice comes across the line.

“No problem. I was just calling to let you know that Caster Point called me to confirm your income,” he says, referring to the apartment complex where I submitted my application earlier.

“Well, that has to be a good sign. If they weren’t considering me they wouldn’t be going through all the trouble, right?”

“I’d think not. Plus, I gave you a glowing review. Said you were the most reliable and hardworking employee that I have.”

“No, you didn’t.” I laugh.

“Actually, I did. Figured if I could help in any way it wouldn’t hurt to try.”

“You can be incredibly sweet when you want to be. Has anyone ever told you that?”

“Shhh. Let’s not be announcing that. I have a reputation to uphold.”

“Is that so?” I giggle into the phone.

“So how was lunch? Did you and Jackie have a good time?”

“We did, actually. “She just headed back home. I’m headed your way now.”

“You’re coming to the shop?”

“Yeah, if that’s okay. I know you said I could have the whole day off, but right now I’m kind of playing a waiting game and it would be nice to have something to do to pass the time.”

“I can think of a few ways to pass some time.” I hear his smile in his voice.

“I bet you could.” I laugh. “But I really do have work I need to get done. This guy I’m kind of seeing is very distracting and making me slack on my duties.”

“Well, we can’t have that. Someone might complain to your boss.”

“And then my boss might fire me,” I counter.

“Not likely.” He chuckles. “How long ’til you get here?”

“I don’t know, maybe ten minutes.”

“You coming home with me tonight?” His voice lowers.

“I would, but I think my brother might start to get a little suspicious if I keep not coming home.”

“Well soon enough you’ll have your own place, and it won’t matter.”

“Thank goodness.”

“Well if you’re not coming home with me, then I guess I’ll just have to take you in the storage room and get my fix before you leave.”

“So romantic.” I sigh dramatically.

“You weren’t complaining last time,” he reminds me.

“I’m not complaining this time,” I tell him.

“There’s my girl.” He laughs. “See you in a few.”

“See you then.” I shake my head before quickly ending the call.