Chapter Two

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“Well that’s something I never thought I’d see again.” Ben steps around the back of Maria, the cow I’m currently huddled beneath trying to milk.

“Something I never thought I’d have to do again,” I grumble, wiping the back of my arm across my forehead.

It’s the beginning of April and only around fifty degrees, but I’m sweating like it’s the dead of summer.

“She still not cooperating?” he asks, taking notice of the near empty bucket below Maria.

“So it’s not just me?” I sit up straight, getting the first real look at my younger brother. It’s been nearly a year and a half since I saw him last.

My parents were beyond upset that I didn’t make it home for Christmas this past year but I had a job opportunity pop up and I couldn’t afford not to take it.

Ben looks like he’s aged ten years in that time. He’s broader, more filled out than the last time I saw him. Like Chris, Ben seems to have spent the winter growing out a beard. I’ve never seen him with facial hair before and I have to admit, it’s a little weird.

“I mean, it might be you.” He shrugs, giving me a teasing grin.

“Whatever.” I roll my eyes dramatically before pushing to a stand. “Why don’t you make yourself useful and take her back outside?” I suggest, having brought her into the barn for milking.

“Pretty sure you’re legs aren’t broken.” He shakes his head. “Good to see some things never change.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I peel the plastic gloves off my hands and toss them into the trash bucket to my right.

“Still trying to push your work off on everyone else.” He smirks.

“I’ve never done that,” I insist, pausing for a moment. “Okay, well maybe that’s not entirely true, but what good is being the only girl if you can’t rely on your brothers to pick up some of the hard labor?”

“And walking a cow back out to the pen is hard labor?” He arches a brow, his smile spreading.

“Oh, shut up.” I stick my tongue out at him before turning to untie the lead from the post in front of Maria. “Come on, girl.” I tug gently, relieved when she follows me without resistance.

“So how long you here for?” Ben follows me from the barn, walking along my left side.

“Hopefully not long.” I stop, waiting for Ben to unlatch the gate to the fence before leading Maria inside. “I’ve auditioned for a few different roles. I expect a call back any day now.”

“Do you really or is that just wishful thinking?” he asks, not afraid to call me on my bluff.

“I really do. I’m not giving up, Ben,” I tell him, latching the gate once Maria is inside. “It’s going to happen for me, you’ll see.”

I’m not sure who I’m trying to convince, but I can tell neither of us actually believes what I’m saying. I’ve had very little success over the last four years, and I don’t expect that to change now that I’m back in Wyoming.

“Well, I hope it does.” He bumps his shoulder against mine as we make our way back up toward the house. “But in the meantime, I’m glad your home.”

“Thanks.” I force a smile, wishing I felt glad to be here.

Don’t get me wrong, a part of me feels almost relieved to be here. This is home. The place I grew up. Where I learned how to ride a horse and fix a tractor. Where I climbed trees and had snow fort wars with my brothers during the winter. Every single happy memory I have is from my time here.

But the other part of me, the part of me that has always longed for something so much bigger than this ranch, well that part of me feels like she’s crawling out of her skin. It’s strange to feel so torn in two completely different directions. I want to be here and yet at the same time it’s the absolute last place I want to be.

“Hey, Ben, can you give me a hand with this?” My brother and I turn in unison to see Thad a few feet to our right, next to the detached garage. He’s elbow deep in the hood of the old pick-up my dad uses to haul feed from town.

I’ve managed to avoid him all day, for reasons I don’t entirely understand, but I can’t ignore the way my stomach twists at the sight of him.

“Laken will,” Ben offers, quickly continuing before I can say anything. “She’s a hundred times better at cars than I am.” He tries to justify volunteering me by complimenting me, as if that makes it better.

I am good with vehicles, so he’s not wrong there. Working on the trucks and tractors around the ranch was something I always did with my dad growing up. It was our thing and I got pretty good at it. But I also know Ben doesn’t feel like messing with it. I’m not the only one notorious for trying to push my work off on other people.

“I promised Mom I’d be in to help with dinner,” I stumble out, not sure why I feel extremely nervous all of a sudden.

“It will only be a second,” Thad offers, rendering my excuse null and void.

“Okay.” I sigh, throwing Ben a wicked glare over my shoulder as I make my way toward the garage.

The closer I get the harder my heart pounds in my chest. Thad looks unbelievably sexy leaning over the truck. His white tee damp with sweat, grease streaked down one side of his face. I snap my mouth closed, fearful that if I don’t I might start drooling at any moment.

I avoid his gaze when I reach him, looking down to where his hand is wedged against the radiator while he tries to secure a hose.

“I just need you to hold this in place so I can tighten the line,” he instructs.

“Okay.” I slide my hand down to the hose, ignoring the way my skin prickles when his fingers brush against mine.

I don’t ask for additional instructions as I could probably replace this hose with my eyes closed. Lord knows I’ve done it enough times over the years.

Without a word, Thad grabs a wrench and begins to tighten the bracket that holds the hose in place. His arm bumps gently against mine several times as he works. With my face turned away from him, I try to hold my crap together.

As if he isn’t already the hottest thing I’ve ever seen, he also smells incredible. All man, sweat, and outdoors. His scent hits me in waves every time he moves.

It takes him less than sixty seconds to secure the hose and as anxious as I am to get away from him, I’m also disappointed that it doesn’t take longer.

I’ve met men that I’ve been instantly attracted to before, but never one that made me feel so out of sorts. From the moment our eyes met in the kitchen earlier today something about him got to me. I don’t know how to explain it.

“Thanks for your help.” His voice sends a chill down my spine and I quickly retract my hand from the engine, taking a full step back.

“Yeah, no problem.” I shrug, wiping my hand on my jeans.

“You don’t remember me, do you?” he asks, forcing me to meet his gaze which I have successfully avoided up to this point.

The minute those light blue eyes are on mine I go blank. “Huh?” I stupidly say.

“That’s probably a good thing.” He smiles and I swear my knees wobble at the sight. “I’m Thad.”

“You shoved me off the swing set when I was four,” I announce, feeling heat flush my cheeks.

What the hell is wrong with me? I am not the girl that gets all flustered and unsure in front of men. I’ve never been that girl... ever. So why the hell do I feel like I’ve forgotten how to act all of a sudden?

“So you do remember me?” He smirks.

“Hard to forget someone who was responsible for my first broken bone,” I counter, finding some semblance of control over myself.

“Yeah, sorry about that.” He chuckles and it’s like kryptonite to the wall I’ve been trying to hold up since this morning. It crumbles and I feel myself smiling right along with him.

“I guess I can forgive you.” I shrug playfully.

“Thanks for that.” He picks up a dirty rag off the engine before slamming the hood of the truck down. “Well, I guess you need to get inside to help your mom. I won’t keep you. Thanks for your help.” He gestures to the truck.

“Yeah, no problem.” I give an awkward wave before quickly turning and running back to the house.

—-

I manage to avoid looking at Thad for most of dinner but by dessert my will has depleted and I find myself glancing in his direction more times than I care to admit.

I can’t help it – he’s just so damn good looking. He showered at some point before dinner, his raggedy white tee replaced with a light blue one that makes his eyes pop even more. His hair is still damp and combed back, putting his gorgeous face on perfect display.

Lord help me. If someone had told me this is what I was missing by not being here I think I would have come home a hell of a lot more often. I could stare at him all day long and dream about what it would feel like to have his full lips pressed to mine. To have his rough, calloused hands glide across my skin. To feel his thick hair slide through my fingertips.

A conversation floats around me but I digest very little of what’s being said. It’s like I’m here, yet not really. I’m hyper aware of myself – of every move I make, every sound I create, to the point that the only thing I can focus on is that and the heat that flushes through my veins and covers my cheeks every time Thad looks up and meets my gaze.

“I got the Chevy going. Just needed a new radiator hose.” When Thad speaks, I hone in on him, hanging on to every word as it leaves his mouth. In my mind he’s speaking the most beautiful poetry and not talking about my father’s old beat up truck.

“Good. I figured that’s what it was.” My father nods, shoveling another bite of my mom’s homemade dumplings into his mouth.

“Tomorrow I’ll take a look at the McCormick. Chris said it’s been starting rough.”

“Sounds good. Maybe Laken can help you. She’s pretty good with mechanics.” The instant my name is mentioned my stomach twists.

“So I’m learning.” Thad offers me a soft smile and I thank the moon and stars that I’m currently sitting down because I’m fairly certain if I were standing I’d be on the ground right about now.

“What do you say, honey?” My father sits back in his chair, his focus on me.

“I can do that,” I force out past the knot that has formed in my throat.

“Good, then it’s settled.” My father nods, taking a long drink of his iced tea.

“So, I was thinking I’d like to take Cocoa out for a ride after dinner if that’s okay,” I announce, not even thinking about doing anything of the sort until this very moment.

Truth be told, I feel like I need to get away for a few. Being back here – it’s overwhelming, and that feeling is intensified by the incredibly attractive man sitting across from me.

“I think that would be good for the both of you. Just make sure you stay on the trail and don’t take her out too far. I don’t want you out past the fences by yourself.”

“That’s the best place to ride,” I object, not surprised to see that even at twenty-two my father is still way too protective of me. I guess that comes with being the only girl.

“Then one of your brothers can go with you.”

“Not it,” the twins call in unison as if they were waiting for the moment when my father would try to volunteer one of them.

“Hey, don’t look at me.” Ben holds up his hands. “I’ve got a date tonight.”

“Sure you do.” I roll my eyes and shake my head. “What about you, big brother?” I turn toward Chris.

“No can do, Lake. I promised Brad I’d head over to his place after dinner. I’m helping him build a new porch,” he says, eliminating him and my oldest brother in one fell swoop.

“Mom?” I turn to my mother who’s sitting at the opposite end of the table from my father.

“I wish I could, honey, but my back makes it hard for me to ride for long periods of time.” She gives me a sad smile. “I doubt I’d make it to the tractor barn before having to turn around.”

I had completely forgotten about her back issues. It’s not something she really talks about. She was thrown from her horse a few years ago and suffered a fractured vertebra as a result. I didn’t know she wasn’t able to ride anymore. I have to remind myself that while it feels like I’ve only been gone a few weeks, I’ve actually missed more than I think I even realize.

“I’ll go with you.” My entire body stiffens as my gaze darts to Thad.

“There you go,” my mother chimes in happily.

“That’s okay. You don’t have to,” I object, having a hard time picturing a man like Thad on a horse.

He’s all hard lines and rough edges, reminding me more of someone that would be seen cruising on a motorcycle rather than riding a thousand pound animal.

“I want to,” he insists. “It’s been a few days since I’ve taken Sheldon out.”

“Sheldon?” I question.

“He’s an Appaloosa we bought last fall,” my father interjects. “Thad’s been the one primarily caring for him.”

I don’t know why but this news surprises me. Riding a horse is one thing but caring for one is something else entirely. It’s a bond – a connection – something I can’t see a man like Thad being open to. Then again, I don’t really know anything about him so I guess it’s unfair of me to judge him so quickly.

“Okay then,” I agree, knowing there’s no way to refuse without drawing questions from my parents.

And even though the thought of getting to spend actual time with Thad sounds more than a little appealing, it also scares the shit out of me and I have no real clue why.

“I’m going to head up and change. I’ll meet you at the barn in twenty?” I question, scooting my chair backward.

“Sounds good.” He offers me a stiff nod.

“May I be excused?” I make sure to ask my father before standing. Even though I’m a grown woman, I am still expected to abide by the house rules and asking to be excused from the dinner table is one of them.

“Of course,” my mother answers.

I gather my plate and glass as I stand, depositing them into the sink.

“You sure you don’t want me to stay and help with the dishes?” I ask, turning back to her.

“You helped cook. The twins can help with the dishes,” she says, both boys groaning in response.

“Should have come riding with me,” I playfully torment.

“No take backs now,” my mother interjects before either of them can voice a change of mind.

I laugh, remembering how many times as a teenager my mom did the same thing to me.

“Have a good ride, honey,” she calls after me as I head out of the kitchen.

After taking the stairs two at a time, I rush to my room. The moment my bedroom door shuts behind me, I press my back against it and let out a shaky breath. I don’t know why but suddenly I’m a million times more nervous about riding with Thad than I was two minutes ago.

“Pull yourself together,” I tell myself, shaking off some of my nerves. “He’s just a guy,” I mutter under my breath as I head toward the closet, snagging one of my old Swindell High School Cheer hoodies off the hanger before sliding it over my head.

“A very hot guy,” I mutter when I stop in front of the mirror on the back of the closet door and take in my appearance.

My hair is still in the same braid as this morning, but has fallen loose with little pieces hanging out everywhere. The little makeup I applied this morning is still in place, but in some serious need of touch ups. I consider throwing on another layer of mascara but quickly decide against it. I don’t want to give Thad the wrong impression...like I actually care what he thinks.

Of course I care what he thinks, but he certainly does not need to know that.

Pulling my sweatshirt down over my hips, I close the closet door and quickly exit my room.