It’s been a hectic Monday, getting everything ready for the tasting party, and with so much to do something was bound to go wrong…except it hasn’t. The deli is looking great, Channy has been working hard and all of the food Eric and Amanda sent not only arrived on time, but is also all ready to serve. All that is left to do is go home and get ready, after I pick Frankie up from school.
I’m a little late – of course I am – but I’m relieved to see that, when I arrive at school, Frankie isn’t the only one in the playground, Jessica Dawson’s son is there too.
‘Hello,’ I say brightly as I head over to the pair of them. I can’t help but smile as I see the two of them sitting together, building some kind of structure on the wooden table in the playground. They’ve got a collection of stones, twigs and leaves which they are painstakingly balancing on top of each other in a way that I’m sure makes sense to them. It’s just nice to see Frankie socialising with one of the other kids.
‘You’re late,’ Frankie says. ‘Dad is never late.’
I could argue that he’s eight years late, but I don’t.
‘Who’s this?’ I ask, still smiling.
‘I’m Simon,’ the small boy says quietly. ‘Have you seen my mum?’
I feel my eyebrows shoot up. I thought I was the only mum who was late.
‘I haven’t.’ I watch as Simon’s face falls, the thought that his mum may have forgotten him laying heavy on his mind. ‘But she called me and asked me and Frankie to hang out with you until she got here.’
‘Oh, OK,’ he replies, turning his attention back to his sculpture.
I sit and watch the pair of them as they build and chat, and I can’t help but notice that all Frankie talks about is Nathan.
‘When my dad finishes my tree house, you can come over and play in it, can’t he, Mum?’ Frankie says
‘If he finishes it,’ I can’t help but start, but this criticism goes over the kids’ heads. ‘Of course he can.’
‘My dad is so cool. He has all these stories from loads of different places. He says one day he’ll take me travelling and I can’t wait.’
‘My dad sells meat,’ Simon replies.
‘My dad hates meat,’ Frankie tells him emphatically. ‘He says we shouldn’t eat it but I don’t think I could eat what he eats because it’s just plants, but he says he’ll help me learn to like it too, which is great, because I love animals too.’
As I watch my son chatter away, it strikes me now more than ever just how similar he is to his dad, and the thought of Nathan giving Frankie ideas about taking him travelling and feeding him kale just fill me with fear. My son doesn’t think I’m the cool parent any more, he’s obsessed with his dad.
‘Simon,’ I hear Jessica pant as she runs up the school steps.
‘Hello,’ I say, before she has chance to say anything else. ‘I told Simon how you suggested he hang out with Frankie and me for a while before you picked him up, just so they could get to know each other.’
I watch as Jessica processes what I’m saying.
‘Yes!’ she says, enthusiastic with relief. ‘I did say that. I just need a quick word with Lily before we go.’
Jessica ushers me to one side, away from the boys.
‘I just…I just forgot,’ she babbles.
I shrug my shoulders.
‘I left Frankie in a shopping trolley in Tesco when he was a toddler. Only for about thirty seconds, but even so – this is nothing.’
‘Thank you for covering for me,’ she says, and she sounds like she means it. ‘If he thought I’d forgotten him – or if the other mums caught wind.’
‘We all make mistakes,’ I tell her. ‘Anyway, they seem to be really getting along.’
‘They do,’ she says, nodding in agreement.
‘Hey, are you free tonight?’ I ask. I didn’t set this up – how could I have? – but this seems like a good opportunity.
‘I am,’ she replies cautiously.
‘I’m having a food tasting event at the deli. It would be so great if you could be there, and if you could bring some of the other mums…’
Jessica looks at me for a moment and it suddenly occurs to me that she might think I’m trying to blackmail her.
‘OK, sure,’ she replies with a smile. ‘I appreciate you helping me out, I owe you.’
‘Awesome,’ I reply. ‘Tell everyone it’s at the yet to be titled deli, at 7 p.m.’
‘Looking forward to it,’ she replies, and I think she might mean it. ‘Come on, Simon, let’s go.’
‘See you tomorrow,’ Simon tells Frankie as he hops down from the bench.
‘Bye,’ Frankie says ecstatically.
‘You made a friend,’ I say, offering him a high-five once Jessica and Simon are out of earshot.
‘I did,’ he replies, running past me. ‘I can’t wait to go home and tell Dad!’
Back home the first thing Frankie does is charge inside to find Nathan. He finds him, of course, sitting on the sofa watching TV. Nathan would always criticise people who watched too much TV but he seems to be finding it preferable to finding a job since he came back. His latest passion is watching Come Dine With Me and blindly rooting for the vegetarian or vegan participant on moral grounds. He might like to give it a go, he mentioned yesterday, if I would let him use the kitchen. I didn’t even humour him because you just know that, if he did apply, and his kooky personality got him accepted, I’d probably end up cooking for his guests – or my mum would. My mum who is currently ironing his freshly washed clothes for him. I keep telling her that, as much as I appreciate her helping out, she shouldn’t be doing everything for Nathan, because it only encourages him to do even less.
‘Remind me why I can’t come to the party tonight, Lil,’ Nathan says as he rubs Frankie’s bald head like a crystal ball.
‘Because you’re looking after Frankie,’ I point out.
‘But I want to come along. The locals love me!’
‘No, they don’t,’ I correct him. ‘Some of them think you’re fresh out of prison after murdering someone, others think you’ve been living in the jungle, at one with apes, and have caused a nit outbreak at school.’
‘All rumours,’ he points out.
‘And then, of course, there’s your beef with Alfie – no pun intended – and the local vet did see you peeing in the garden.’
‘And you said we could do some work on the tree house tonight,’ Frankie says enthusiastically.
I look over at him, my eyes wide with anticipation. I wonder what his excuse will be tonight, because he always seems to have one.
I watch Nathan wrack his brains for a moment.
‘Probably best to get things fixed in place ASAP,’ I say. ‘We’re expecting storms next week.’
‘Really?’ Nathan says in disbelief.
‘Really,’ I reply. ‘I heard it on the news today.’
This is entirely true. The weather forecast said that an unseasonably deep area of low pressure for this time of year is going to hit the UK next week, with England and Wales bearing the brunt of the strong winds and heavy rain we’re expecting.
‘OK, sure,’ Nathan tells Frankie. ‘After Hollyoaks.’
Frankie frowns, but only for a second. He’s getting what he wants.
‘I saw your outfit for tonight on the bed,’ my mum says, sidling up along side me. She gives me a wiggle of her eyebrows.
‘That’s just my optimistic plan A,’ I tell her quietly. ‘I’ve got a plan B, just in case I look awful.’
‘You’re going to look amazing,’ she assures me. ‘So am I.’
‘I expect no less from my sister,’ I joke.
‘I’m sure Alfie will be pleased to see you,’ she says, delivering an elbow to my ribcage to emphasise her point.
‘I’m sure Alfie will be pleased to see you,’ Nathan says mockingly. ‘What is it with women and that bloody farmer?’
‘Nathan, he’s gorgeous,’ Viv insists. Nathan frowns at her. ‘And so are you,’ she adds. ‘In your own, special way.’
An almost enviable level of ego allows Nathan to see a compliment in that. He smiles.
‘Do you want Alfie to be your boyfriend?’ Frankie asks, taking his eyes off Come Dine With Me for a second – a show he’s never previously been remotely interested in.
‘’Course she doesn’t,’ Nathan insists. ‘Do you?’
I look over at them, an almost carbon copy of one another were it not for the twenty-three years that separate them. It’s almost like Nathan is a scary vision of what Frankie could turn out like when he’s older, if he doesn’t make the right choices, and I can already see him doing almost everything he can to be just like his dad.
‘Alfie is my friend,’ I tell him, because that is technically true.
‘Dad could be your boyfriend again,’ Frankie suggests.
I clear my throat, suddenly so uncomfortable.
Nathan looks over at me, waiting to see how I reply.
‘We’re just friends too,’ I tell him. ‘You know your mum doesn’t have time for boyfriends.’
Of course it’s only natural for Frankie to want his parents to get back together, and for us all to be a happy family, but he’s just way too young to understand why this is a terrible idea. Other than the fact that I don’t love Nathan – which is arguably the most important – I just couldn’t live with him. I couldn’t go back to how things were, I don’t have the time or the energy to look after him too, and then there’s how I feel about Alfie…
‘I’d better go get ready,’ I say. ‘Lots of setting up to do.’
‘I’m looking forward to helping out,’ Viv says.
My mum has very kindly offered to help out this evening, seeing as it’s just me and Channy working. Alfie will be there for support, and he’s invited loads of people, so hopefully some of them show up.
I’m scared to say it, but I’m excited. This feels like the first bit of progress I’ve made with the deli – well, not progress as such, but the possibility for progress. At this stage, I’ll take what I can get.