Margaux came into class and sat down with a dramatic sigh. She was waiting for us to ask what was wrong, and I prayed no one would because it’d just encourage her with this Seth guy. Plus, I was still annoyed she picked hanging out with Seth over spending time with me.

“What’s wrong?” Kylie asked her.

“Seth didn’t meet me by my locker this morning, so when he came to my locker now, he’s all, ‘What’s your problem?’ And I wouldn’t tell him what was wrong because he should just know, right? Then, get this,” she said, flinging her hair back. “He starts to walk away, so I grabbed his hand, and he was like, ‘What?’”

“Why don’t you dump him?” I asked. I was sick of hearing about him.

“I like him. I just hate when he tries to act cool around his friends,” she said. “Besides, I already have my dress for the dance, and Maxie’s won’t take it back once they start doing alterations.”

If I were ever involved with somebody who required my presence at their locker at specific times under penalty of cold shoulder and had to spend every waking moment paying attention to them—oh wow, I think I’ve dated Margaux.

“What are you so mad about, Em? Everybody’s talking about the fight Brendon and Lauren got into at the party over you. He’s so not over you,” Kylie said. She started to say something else when Ms. Cruz came in, and we all faced forward. She passed out the lit assignment, and the room got quiet as everyone began reading. My mind wouldn’t focus on the page, and I passed Kylie a note about how I had seen Brendon sitting with Lauren at the movies. We spent the entire hour passing notes. Margaux bolted out of the room when the bell rang, and I saw Seth waiting for her at her locker. Tomorrow we would hear how great he was once again. I went to Rory’s locker, and we walked to the lunchroom and got the hot lunch special. Rory picked up her burnt roll and pulled it apart, eating only the soft middle and leaving a little charred pile on her tray.

After school, Kylie walked me to my locker. I made sure to walk extra slowly past the hallway where Brendon hung out. He had his head in his locker and didn’t look up as we walked by.

My dad was waiting for me so we could go to the hospice to check on Grandma. She appeared like she was in a deep sleep when we saw her. Sometimes she acted like she was sort of awake even though she was in a coma, but today she didn’t seem aware we were in the room. On the way out, Dad and I stopped and lit a candle for her in the hospice chapel. There was a big painting of Jesus standing on a cloud and hugging someone who had just come to heaven. I knew most of the people in the hospice were terminal, but did the whole place have to reek of death? Shouldn’t there be some glimmer of hope they might get better and get to go home?

I was so depressed I forgot I had promised to go shopping with Kylie after dinner. She showed up at the door, took one look at me in my sweatpants, and asked if I forgot we had plans.

“Sorry, I did. Things have been crazy, but let me get my bag.”

I ran over to my mom. “I forgot I was supposed to go look for a homecoming dress with Kylie tonight.”

“Well, you’ve had a lot on your mind. It’s understandable. There’s some cash in my upstairs desk drawer. Just don’t get anything too expensive—or low-cut. And Emme, just hold everything up to the Sweetie Gals test—if one of them would wear it, then I won’t pay for it.” Like I could have pulled it off even if I wanted to.

In the car, I listened to Kylie talk about the dress she wanted. It was pretty warm for late October in Michigan, so she wanted something short, strappy, and cute. However, I couldn’t get into dress shopping. I always heard the best part of going to dances was shopping with your friends for the dress, so I tried to act like I was having fun. Kylie even called Margaux and told her to meet us at the mall, which was a huge sacrifice on her part since she hated shopping with Margaux. We went to Maxie’s first.

“Okay, do you guys like this one in blue or red?” Kylie asked, holding up two hangers. “Is the print weird?”

“No, I like the flowers. It’s different. I like the red, but try them both on,” Margaux said. I picked out a couple of black dresses, but Margaux said I shouldn’t wear black to the dance. “Besides, it would look weird next to my dress since mine’s more summery—like the ones Kylie’s trying on.”

I sighed and pretended to look through the rack.

“Do you want me to help you pick something out?” Margaux asked. I shook my head. A long time ago Kylie and I had talked about whether or not you could trust Margaux when it came to shopping. Sometimes she’d tell you something was pretty on you when it actually wasn’t. At first, I didn’t get what she was trying to do, but then there was this time when I tried on two sweaters. One of the sweaters fit me well, and the other made me look like I was swimming in it. Yet Margaux said she liked the bigger one on me. It was obvious which one fit me better, so Kylie and I never trusted her judgment when it came to clothes. Probably why Kylie ended up buying the blue dress even though Margaux swore that the red one was prettier.

“Okay Em, now we’re on a mission to find you the perfect dress,” Kylie said.

I found a dress, another black one, which was a little different than the usual homecoming dresses. It was black and knee-length, but with long sleeves that had a slit so it revealed part of your arm. It was more sophisticated than the strappy dresses everyone else would be wearing.

“No black,” Margaux said. “Em, you always say what color you wear affects your mood, so why would you want a black dress? Plus, long sleeves for a dance…I dunno, I just don’t think it’s a homecoming dress.”

“It’s kinda like the awards show dress the actress Tina Carlsen wore,” I said. “I love it, but is it too different?”

“Well, it would definitely get you noticed. It’s gorgeous and I loved it on Tina, but I’m not sure it’s a homecoming dress,” Kylie said.

I ended up trying on a bunch of dresses Kylie picked out. The first one was green, but a little tight. On the plus side, it gave me cleavage, but I could barely breathe in it. I didn’t like the blue shimmery one Margaux picked out because it was long and it made me look too tall.

“What do we have left?” Margaux asked. “Okay, there’s the navy strapless one, but it might be hard to keep it up all night. What? Don’t glare at me. Even I couldn’t hold up a strapless dress all night.”

“Give me the red one,” I said. I came out in it and Kylie nodded.

“Not too short, not too tight. Perfect,” she said.

“The three of us won’t match,” Margaux said. “But maybe we can put the guys in between us for the pictures so it won’t matter. Hey, is it okay if Seth and I meet you guys at the game instead of going all together?”

I had invited Darren to go to the game with us, but he had to work since he had taken Saturday off for the dance. As I paid for my dress, I noticed Margaux and Kylie standing on the side looking worried and talking. I knew it was about me and how they had been looking forward to dress shopping. I had put a damper on the whole thing. How did people go through the motions of life when things got crappy? I mean, I couldn’t be the only high schooler dealing with stuff like a grandparent in hospice and one with dementia, right? It sure felt like I was alone right now.