I spent the next few nights at the hospice with my mom. Grandma never woke up or even stirred while we were there. Mom made me bring my homework, but who could focus when I knew my time with Grandma was getting shorter? Every second I spent at the hospice made me feel guilty about leaving Grandpa on his own at home with Dad where Grandpa would ask him over and over where Mom and I were. But then when I’d get home and stay with Grandpa, I’d feel guilty that I wasn’t at the hospice.

On the night of the homecoming game, Kylie came over after school and went through my closet to find me the perfect outfit to wear to the game. She kept holding things up for my approval, but I wasn’t in the mood.

“C’mon, put something on, slap on some lip gloss, and let’s go,” she said.

“I’ve decided to just sit here and let life pass me by,” I said.

“Lovely. Now move your butt.”

Kylie managed to get me to put on some jeans and a red top. I told her it didn’t matter what shirt I had on because I was going to wear a coat, but she ignored me. I put on some makeup while she curled my hair. When she was done, I had to admit she did an amazing job. We went to the kitchen where my dad and Grandpa were eating pizza.

“Glad I bothered with the lip liner,” I said as I twirled a string of soy cheese around my tongue.

Dad dropped us off at the game, and we saw Margaux standing by the fence with Seth who, as always, seemed bored with life and like everything was beneath him. She gave us a little wave and tried to move closer to Seth to show what a fabulous couple they were. Brendon was over in the bleachers with Sam and some other student council people.

“Somebody thinks she’s cool,” Kylie said as she pointed to Lauren, who was coming down the path.

Lauren was waving to someone in the stands. She was wearing a pair of furry, pink mittens which matched her sweater and scarf perfectly, and she acted like she was Miss Popularity as she bounced around laughing and waving.

“Who does she think she is?” Kylie asked. “The homecoming queen?”

Actually, Lauren’s name had come up as a possible candidate for junior princess, and I had panicked thinking she could have made it on the homecoming court. I would have died if I had to watch Brendon walk her down the aisle and hear her mention him in her speech. I had only been to one homecoming assembly last year, but every court princess or nominee had gone up there saying, “My mom’s my best friend,” and started crying, and then listed every single one of their friends and how “ah-maz-ing” they were. Gag. Luckily, Lauren’s stuck up attitude kept anybody from voting for her. However, I had been afraid one of the girls who had been nominated would drop out before the actual homecoming election and Lauren would still get on the court. However, unless one of the girls got struck by lightning in the next ten minutes, it seemed there was no chance of Lauren getting on the court.

Lauren went to sit in the bleachers with the people from student council and sat right next to Brendon. Somebody had brought a stadium blanket, and I was getting sick watching Lauren and Brendon drinking hot chocolate with their dumb blanket. It reminded me of my stupid coloring book where the couple goes to a football game. Except the girl was never an obnoxious jerk who draped herself over the guy.

Kylie told me to ignore them, and she bought me a box of chocolate-covered caramels, but I couldn’t concentrate on the game. Instead, I watched Lauren rub Brendon’s arm with her stupid pink mitten. When we first started going out, in the back of my mind I guess I had worried maybe he had slept with her, but nothing had prepared me for how I felt when I was looking in her bathroom cabinet. I couldn’t handle it.

“I’m freezing,” Margaux said as she sat down and took the candy box from me. “Can I have some?”

I passed her the candy as I watched Lauren and Brendon leave their seats. Kylie suggested we get some hot chocolate to warm us up. We walked over to the concession stand, and Lauren and Brendon were there by the restrooms. They were standing super close together, and I felt embarrassed and shifted my eyes away. Kylie poked me and told me to look up, and I saw Brendon walking away from Lauren.

“So they’re fighting. Big whoop. They argue, like, five times a day,” Margaux said as she popped another candy.

“He’s by himself now,” Kylie said. “You should go talk to him.”

Sam walked over to Brendon, and I felt dumb going over there, so we got our drinks and went back to watch the game. A few minutes later, Sam came up to sit with us.

“Hey, how’s it going?” he asked.

“Good.” I hadn’t talked to him since Brendon and I had stopped going out, and now he suddenly has this undying urge to find out how I am?

“Great. So, how are your classes?” he asked.

“Fine. How are yours?”

“Good, anyway, Brendon wanted to know how you were doing.”

“Why doesn’t he ask her himself?” Margaux asked through a mouthful of caramel.

Sam seemed surprised.

“Well, I’m fine,” I said. No one else said anything, so he left.

“Well, it’s a good sign he asked about you, Em,” Kylie said.

Margaux narrowed her eyes. “Pretty weak he was looking for a new girlfriend five seconds after he got into a fight with Lauren.”

I started to ask Margaux if I should at least go over and talk to him, but then Seth came over, and she was too busy giving him attitude because he had left her for his friends.

“Fine, forget it,” he said, getting up.

Margaux grabbed his arm, and he sat down again. Kylie rolled her eyes. Seth took out a pack of gum, and Margaux reached over and took a stick. He shoved the rest of the pack into his pocket without offering us any.

“Em, let’s go walk around,” Kylie said. As soon as we were out of earshot she said, “Sorry, I couldn’t take another minute of those two. Explain this to me—why does Seth always smell like ham and rubbing alcohol?”

“I know, what’s up?” I stopped when I saw Brendon talking to Lauren. “I cannot believe this. They’re back together already.”

“You don’t know for sure,” she said. “She could be groveling or telling him she hopes he has a nice life with you or—”

“You know, maybe I should have gone after Sam,” I said. “He’s nice, funny, smart, and not half as cute as Brendon, so I wouldn’t have the whole school lusting after him.”

“You’ve got to get over your self-esteem thing,” Kylie said.

We watched Lauren and Brendon leave together, and then we tracked Margaux and Seth down for a ride home. I went to my room and sprawled out on the bed. The phone rang, and I sat up and listened. Lately, whenever the phone rang, I thought it was the hospice calling.

I ran into my parents’ bedroom. My mom shook her head at me, so I went downstairs and sat with Grandpa.

“Hi, sweetie. How are you?” he asked.

He had been calling me “sweetie” and “sweetheart” lately—something he had never done before, and I hoped it wasn’t because he couldn’t remember my name. I told him I went to a football game, and he asked if I had a good time. I nodded. It was so hard to have a conversation with him lately. He’d just said “mm-hmm” when you asked him something, and it was hard to deal with. I switched on the TV, and we watched a movie until my dad came in to tell us to get ready for bed. Grandpa stood up and immediately my hand went over my nose. My first thought was, “Why does it smell like a dirty diaper in here?” And then it hit me where that smell was coming from. I didn’t want to ask him if he had an accident and embarrass him, but that’s exactly what it smelled like had happened. I was afraid to go and tell my dad because then he’d say we had to put Grandpa in a nursing home.

“Grandpa, why don’t you go to the bathroom and start getting ready for bed,” I said, and then I ran upstairs and told my mom. She went into the den and leaned against the wall.

“We’ll have to get him some adult diapers tomorrow,” she said. “I’ll use some spray cleaner on the cushion and see if it helps.”

“Are you going to tell Dad?” I asked.

“He thought he smelled something yesterday, but I took care of it before he saw the stain,” she said. “Maybe these are just isolated incidents. We’ll keep an eye on it. I’m not going to say anything unless I absolutely have to.”