The next day, Brendon called me about coming over to his house. I was still a little uncomfortable about the idea of hanging out at his place. After all, I had seen it online, and the idea of being around his older brother Jayson, the guy everyone talked about being Mr. Perfection, made me anxious.

“You know what? There’s a ton of people here right now working on something for my dad, so maybe we could do something else,” he said, and I exhaled. There would be no anxiety attack today.

“Oh, yeah, if it’s busy. I don’t want to get in the way.”

“I go for a walk in our neighborhood every night. You want to go with me? I could pick you up after seven.”

“Sure.”

My neighborhood was nice, but his was gated. His area was also close to downtown Birmingham, so we could walk there if we wanted, or we could go over to the pond on the last street of the neighborhood. There was also a cemetery nearby, but we avoided it and stuck to walking by Sacred Heart, his old grade school.

“My brother wants to move out of the house and go someplace more modern. My mom’s the same way. She thinks our house is too old.”

“Isn’t your house a landmark or something?”

“Not quite, but it was owned by one of the old car guys in Detroit. Well, his son anyway. My mom is always talking about wanting someplace new and decorating it the way she wants, but I like this area. My dad calls it an ‘established neighborhood.’”

“Huh?”

“Older houses and lots of trees. Seems like all the new areas have zero trees.”

“Oh, I hate those new subdivisions, which are all open with no trees. I love those big houses you can’t even see from the street because there are so many trees hiding them.”

“Exactly. I hate the idea of everyone being able to see in—like living in a fishbowl,” Brendon said, staring out at the pond.

“Is that kind of how you feel now?”

“Yeah, I think it’s why my dad and I like the fact our house is tucked away. My mom’s into that life. Big open windows, everyone watching. Not my thing to have people staring at me.” He reached over and took my hand. “I love how I can tell you anything.”

“Always.”

He leaned his head against mine. “So how was your grandma today?”

“She slept the entire time I was there. The nurses said she had a rough night and to let her sleep. I’m going back tomorrow and praying she’ll be more alert.”

He dropped my hand and reached for his wallet. “Here. One of my dad’s supporters gave this to me the night my dad was re-elected. It’s a prayer card of the Divine Mercy. Sometimes when I’m anxious I repeat the phrase on the front, ‘Jesus, I trust in you.’ Maybe it would help your grandma to say it, too.”

“Thanks. I’ve never seen this before. I’ll take it with me tomorrow.”

“What’s weird is I remember the supporter’s name—it was Emilia, but everyone called her Emme. Maybe it’s a sign, huh?”

“Well, I do believe in signs.”

* * *

At first I didn’t think much of the Emme/Emilia thing until I was visiting Grandma in the hospital the next afternoon. She always kept a stack of worn prayer books and her rosary by her bed at home, so we had brought them to the hospital for her. She had gotten into this habit where she just liked to hold the rosary and the prayer cards.

“Emme, will you hand me my…my…” Lately she had problems finishing some of her sentences, which frustrated her. The doctor said she probably had a mini-stroke we weren’t aware of, which had caused the speech problem. I always tried to figure out what she wanted because I hated seeing her get upset over not being able to get a sentence out.

“The rosary?” I asked, but she shook her head and sighed. Her big green eyes fixed on mine. I was the only one in the family who had any green in my eyes like she did. My mom and aunt took after my grandpa and had deep-blue eyes. “Do you want the devotional?” I picked up the book and about twenty little prayer cards fell on the floor.

“Sorry Grandma—” I stopped when I saw a card on the floor that said Divine Mercy. I had never seen her with one before, and I flipped it over. It said “St. Faustina” on the back.

“Where did you get this card?” I asked.

She tried to say “Faustina,” but it wasn’t going to happen. She sighed and said, “It’s Polish.” She put her hand on mine and pushed it toward me. “Keep it.”

“I brought you one from my friend. It’s the same prayer, but it has a picture of Jesus on the front. See?”

She nodded smiling and said, “Oh yes, it’s beautiful.”

“He wanted me to give it to you.”

She held it up to her heart. I noticed she was getting drowsy and decided to call my dad for a ride home. Just as I was about to dial, Brendon called.

“What’s up? You busy?” he asked.

I said I was still at the hospital, and he asked if I wanted to go grocery shopping with him.

“I have to pick up stuff for my grandparents, and it’d be more fun if you went with me. C’mon, please? I’ll even stop at the Milky Palace afterward for ice cream,” he said. Grandma always took me there for a dipped cone after I went to the store with her, but I’d never told him.

“Sure, you want to pick me up in the front? Take the east entrance or else you’ll end up in the ambulance zone,” I said.

“New boyfriend?” Grandma asked as I hung up. “What’s he like?”

“Well, his name is Brendon, and we do have different interests, but somehow we kind of seem in sync with each other. Sometimes I’m able to tell when he’s about to call before the phone rings.”

She nodded. “You had a different sort of smile on your face, so I knew it wasn’t just a friend. Haven’t seen you smile big in a while.”

“He’s thoughtful. He asks about you and what I’m into.”

Grandma tilted her head to the side. “Don’t all boyfriends do that?”

“John never did. I guess looking back it was all about him.”

“Never liked him,” she said, moving her hand to dismiss the whole idea.

“Wish I could say the same thing,” I said, biting my lip. John had had too much of a hold over me for way too long.

“You have fun. I’m going to rest now. So tired.”

I went downstairs, and Brendon texted me he was in the parking lot.

“You’re not going to believe this, but I read my horoscope today. It said a Leo would bring a sunny outlook into my life today, and my lucky number for the day is three,” he said, pointing to my shirt, which was a yellow jersey with the number three on it.

“You read your horoscope? Since when?”

“Sometimes I glance over at the section while I’m reading the news. By the way, yours said a hot Cancer will sweep you off your feet and bring nothing but happiness and rainbows to your life.”

“Interesting, because when I read it this morning it said to avoid misunderstandings and there could be a plumbing disaster waiting to happen. Maybe I missed the part about rainbows and the hot Cancer.”

“You obviously didn’t turn the page,” he said, laughing.

“My mistake.”

“But there was a plumbing disaster at my house. Jayson overflowed the bathtub, and my mom was furious. I think he was having another argument with his girlfriend while filling the tub, and he got distracted. Those two are either breaking up or making up—it’s exhausting listening to them. That’s what I like about you—you’re not some high-drama girl.”

“All the girls in your circle are, though,” I said. “Not trying to be a jerk, but…”

“Oh no, you’re right. They are, so I appreciate how you’re different.”

“Bored with your group now?” I asked.

“Nope, just…I was going to say, ‘Looking to upgrade,’ but it sounds horrible, doesn’t it?” he said laughing.

I cracked up. “I get where you were trying to go with it, but yeah, it sounds bad. I’ll pretend it’s a compliment and not a sexist thing.”

“I didn’t mean it that way, like a trade-in for a car or a guy with a trophy girlfriend, I just meant…” His face got red, and he cleared his throat. “I’ve never met anyone like you before. The way you’re so open about things. There’s this vulnerability about you—”

“Naïve and immature like a little kid,” I said, turning away. “Yeah, whatever.”

“No, not what I meant. You’re sensitive and caring—“

“Now I’m too sensitive? I don’t—”

“No, Emme, I wasn’t trying to say you were being too sensitive—I meant you’re sensitive to other people’s feelings, and when I said vulnerable I meant it as a positive thing.”

I shrugged.

He put his hand over mine. “Being vulnerable is a good thing.”

“Since when?”

“Well, for me it’s nice to be around someone who is real as opposed to the fake people who have social media perfect lives when I know the real crap going on behind closed doors. You share what you feel—you don’t hide it. It’s an amazing quality to be open and show your feelings. I admire it since I grew up in a family who lives by the rule ‘Put on a good face no matter what’s happening.’”

“Yeah, okay.”

“You know I’d never talk down to you or anything. I want to be clear. I meant everything I said in the best possible way. Emme, it’d kill me to think you thought I was trying to hurt your feelings in any way.”

He squinted his eyes and bit his lip as he waited for my reaction.

“I know you wouldn’t do it on purpose, but some people say stuff not realizing how it might impact the other person. Maybe I am a little naïve or whatever,” I said.

“Did someone tell you that?”

“Yeah, my ex. He always made me feel so young and…whatever.” I didn’t want to drag out my whole past relationship and let Brendon know how I felt inexperienced and unworthy. Right now he didn’t know what I was like last year, seeing as we didn’t run in the same circles. He had no idea I had been cheated on and how my self-confidence had been trashed. I felt sick thinking about the time I asked John what was so wrong with me to make him go back to his ex.

“Well, he’s an idiot,” Brendon said.

“You don’t have to say that.”

“He let you go, so I’m guessing he’s not going to be working at NASA anytime soon.”

“Well, this is true.”

“You know what’s crazy? Your horoscope said something about misunderstandings. That’s kind of weird.”

“Yeah, it is,” I said, although it’s no weirder than the fact every time we hung up on the phone I had noticed the same number combination of how long we talked. But I’d never tell him because he’d think I was a weirdo.

“I guess we should head to the store, huh?” he said. “My mom’s going to wonder where her stuff is.”

“I’m so glad this is our last week of class,” I said.

“Oh, right, I meant to tell you I get to miss the last week. It just got cleared with Mrs. Rae because I’m going with my dad to Virginia on Wednesday—right after class gets out.”

I wanted to ask for how long, and I found myself feeling insecure. Would I sound clingy asking? After all, we had never defined what we were, so did I have a right to ask?

“It’s just this thing he has to go to because a guy my grandpa worked with is having a library named after him. Grandpa can’t go in his condition, so Dad is going in his place.”

“Should be interesting.”

“Will you miss me?” he asked.

I glanced over at him, and he was doing the crooked smile, which made every girl’s heart melt.

“Maybe,” I said and then wanted to slap myself for being so stupid. Maybe? Seriously? That was my answer?

“I am wounded. To the core. Maybe? Wow, okay. Now I know how you feel about me,” he said as he pulled into a parking spot.

“Well, I’ll miss having someone to play tennis with. Hey, is your friend Sam going to be around? He plays, right?” I asked, smiling to try and lighten the mood.

“Oh, ha ha. Great, my girlfriend and my best friend hooking up behind my back. Nice.”

“Girlfriend?” I said and wanted to slap myself for the second time. Was it possible for me to be mysterious, or did I have to blurt out whatever crap came into mind? Lauren wouldn’t have burst out without thinking or come off so needy, asking him to define their relationship. She always seemed in control.

“Yeah, isn’t that what we are, or did I completely misread this whole situation, and I’m just so into you I assumed we were dating?” He glanced down and then back up at me and gave a shy smile. How did he manage to look unsure of himself while seeming confident? How was it possible?

“You never called me your girlfriend before.”

“Actually, I do all the time; you’re just not around to hear it.” He smiled. “So, are you okay with it?”

“I love the idea,” I said and then realized I had just used the L-word. “Well, I mean, it’s fine or whatever.”

He started laughing. “I liked your first response better. Not that hearing, ‘it’s fine or whatever,’ isn’t what all guys want to hear.”

I put my hand over my mouth and laughed. “Sorry, I just…I didn’t mean to. That word kinda made it seem so intense, and I wanted to lighten it up. I’m not smooth in the slightest. Stuff comes out of my mouth, and then I feel like I’ve said too much.”

“You say what you’re feeling, and that’s what I love about you,” he said, and then his eyes widened. “And now I’ve said the word, too. Wow, you bring out something in me—it’s so weird. I’m normally not so open. This is kind of freaky for me. I just want to make sure we’re on the same page because I thought we were, but…well, then you kind seemed shocked by me saying, ‘girlfriend.’”

“I liked you saying girlfriend.”

“Yeah?” His eyebrow arched. “Because I want to know how you feel. I know with my background it sometimes can seem like it’s all about me, and I want to make sure you don’t feel overwhelmed by all that. It’s not what I’m about, but it is what I come with, if that makes any sense.”

I nodded, and he reached over and put his hand on my shoulder.

“This all feels so new to me, and I normally don’t talk about this stuff,” he said. “But I guess I’m at the point where I’m feeling different things, and I’ve had so many relationships with people who wanted to be with the idea of me instead of the actual me.”

“You don’t think that’s why I’m with you, do you?” I asked, feeling queasy.

“No, never for a minute, but I’ve been wrong before. But you and I—I dunno how to describe it, but it feels different. Like we click. It feels easy with you, although I do feel a little insecure sometimes.”

“Must be a first for you,” I said and then squirmed. “Sorry, I don’t know where that came from.”

“Um, I’ve felt insecure before, Emme,” he said with a laugh. “I am human after all.”

“Not going to lie to you—I avoided going to your house because the idea of your family is overwhelming. Sometimes I am a little quieter around you because I’m afraid I’ll say the wrong thing, and I know you think some of the things I’m into are weird, but I love spending time with you…and I’ve said the L-word again. Whatever—it’s true. I love spending time with you.”

His smile made the corners of his eyes crinkle up.

“I’ve never seen you smile so big before,” I said, and then wished I hadn’t said something that made me sound like a creepy stalker.

“Not much makes me smile this big, but that did,” he said and leaned over to kiss me.

We jumped apart when his phone got a text. He picked it up.

“It’s from my mom asking where her groceries are since I left the house an hour ago. Somehow I got distracted,” he said, smiling.

“We better get her stuff.”

We got the groceries, and he dropped me off on the way home.

“Hey, I’ll text you while I’m away and call when I can,” he said. “So I’ll ask you again, you gonna miss me?”

I leaned over and kissed him.

“Answer your question?” I asked.

“Definitely. See you soon.”