Chapter Eleven
Lennon
Jade’s eyes popped wide behind her glasses at the words that had flown past my lips without so much as a filter. I cleared my throat and hopped off the hood so I could snag the Red Bull calling my name from the inside of her car. I needed an escape, because I had absolutely no way to follow up that line.
By the time I came back to the front of the car, Jade’s face was relaxed again, if not a little curious. She eyed me as I handed her the green tea she’d picked out earlier, and I tapped the rim of her bottle with my can. “To graduation?”
She smiled. “To the future.”
I took a large gulp, wondering if it was the energy drink that had my nerves jittering, or the near-death-by-turkey-thing, or the cop pulling us over earlier, or simply Jade. The logical side of my brain screamed at me to get back to the party, to get ready for the biggest show of my career, but I couldn’t deny our connection. The way she made me laugh, the way she somehow made everything make sense that had never made sense before. But it didn’t change anything. I was still going on tour, and she was still going to college. Even if we magically made long-distance work, she was still inherently good, and I was still the rock star who would crush her heart.
We were as destined to fail as our silly nicknames hinted we would—the rock star and the mathlete. But she was way more than that, and she saw beyond the persona for me, too.
I bounced on the balls of my feet, resisting the urge to pace in front of the car. Each second I battled this crazy sense of calm that soothed my nerves when she spoke, but it also riled me up when I couldn’t tell what was on her mind. The opposite sensations were building up in me, threatening to break my resolve.
I finished my drink, the silence between us more charged than when I was teasing her to get her to blush. I crunched the can and returned it to the bag littering her floorboard. “This is kind of a crazy place to break down, huh?” I asked, desperate for her to talk. About anything, just something to end the silence I really wanted to break by kissing her again.
She chuckled, and the sound filled my lungs with much needed air as I came to sit next to her again. “Yeah,” she said. “It’s a little Lover’s Lane-ish, isn’t it?” She pushed her glasses up her nose. “Could you imagine if this had happened to you with Lori? Or Carey?” She shifted on the hood, staring at her shoes. “They’d be taking full advantage of you right now.”
I laughed, but the joke died in my throat. “That is more terrifying than the horror movie angle.”
“I don’t know,” she said, glancing at me. “I’d take a Lennon groupie over Jason Voorhees.”
“At least you could outrun Jason,” I said, a shudder rolling up my spine.
“True. But how bad can a groupie be when one fake kiss drove her away?”
I smirked at her. “It was a powerful fake kiss.”
She shook her head, her blond hair blocking her profile from me. “No way,” she said. “I’m so sorry if it was terrible. It’s not like I planned for it…I just wanted to help you out…”
“And you did,” I said, pushing the hair back from her face so I could set my eyes on her. “And it wasn’t terrible.”
“Sure it wasn’t.” She rolled her eyes and picked at the nail polish on her thumb, refusing to look at me.
“I’ve actually never had better.”
And there it was. My no-filter mouth taking matters into its own hands. A piece of my truth, if not all of it. Right there in the open for her to see.
This time I had no reason to run away from the slipped comment. I hated seeing the doubt in her eyes, the struggle with where she stood. She was amazing and deserved to know as much.
Finally looking at me, she wetted her lips. “Really?”
I nodded. “As far as fake kisses go, that was the best,” I said. “Can’t imagine what it would’ve been like if it was real.” Could she see how badly I wanted it to be real?
Air left her lungs in a rush, but she forced out a laugh. “Right.”
“We might’ve set the whole damn party on fire.”
“Totally,” she teased. “Burned it all to ash.”
“I believe it.”
She waved me off, still not buying it.
I captured her hand mid dismal and pulled it against my chest. “You want me to prove it?”
Her green eyes locked onto mine, the playfulness turning to something more solid, serious.
Say yes.
Say no. Shut me down for good. You deserve better.
Please, God, say yes.
One crystal-clear nod, and my heart did a victory lap as I inched my lips closer to hers.
I threaded my fingers through her hair, cradling the back of her head as I tugged her closer. I smoothed my other hand down her spine, stopping at the base to propel her forward and onto my lap. The tiny gasp in the back of her throat turned my blood to liquid fire, but I kept my lips a breath away from hers, content on holding her and her gaze.
I breathed her in, loving the way she felt in my lap, the way her muscles relaxed into me as if we’d done this dozens of times. My heart thudded against my chest like a gun had gone off.
With a featherlight touch, I grazed my mouth over the line of her jaw, the side of her neck, and back up until I hit the corner of her mouth. Her chest rose and fell with each bated breath, and when I could no longer stand the moment I held us in, I crushed my lips onto hers.
Sparks shot across my skin and sizzled in my core when our tongues met, and I drank her in like a man dying for water. Gone was the shock of the fake kiss back in the shop—this was real, this was raw, and it was everything.
She wrapped her arms around my neck, hugging me closer without ever breaking our kiss. I ran my hands up and down her arms, over her back, and finally settled on encircling my arms around her hips, locking her in an embrace I didn’t ever want to break.
I could feel her heart racing as she turned to put a knee on either side of my hips, bringing our bodies flush. She pulled back just enough to suck in a sharp breath, pinning me with those bright-green eyes that churned with happiness, want, and heat.
The look shot a volt of electricity straight to my heart, but the small smile that played on her lips just before she leaned down to kiss me again? That shook up my entire soul.
A low growl rumbled in my chest, the reaction unavoidable as I felt all the pieces inside me weaving together with one solid truth.
I’m in love with this girl.
The notion jolted my already oversensitive body, and I jerked back enough to put a few inches of space between us. I studied the gentle curves of her face, the way her glasses framed her eyes, the way she gazed at me in question and hope.
I’ve been in love with her.
Maybe I had been for much longer than I’d ever admit.
Maybe since the moment our stolen pieces of conversation became something I looked forward to more than the dates I took out on the reg.
Maybe since the first time I’d seen one of her drawings and felt more connected to her than any other person ever before.
“Lennon?” Her voice was a whisper in the dark that surrounded us, but it was loud enough to pierce my core. Doubt crept into her tone.
This wasn’t supposed to happen.
I’d been so careful all these years. Kept myself distracted with too many dates to ever really focus on the girl of my dreams. I couldn’t do this to her. I couldn’t draw her close just to crush her—on the road, on tour. She deserved to be number one, and my music occupied that slot. I’d hurt her by simply being me. Damn it.
I’d been so damned careful…
But my defenses had crumbled tonight, on the last night I knew I’d see Jade…maybe ever. The walls I’d tried to hold strong around my heart had been smashed by a petite girl with glasses. Sometime between our stolen moments and tonight, she’d become precious to me.
Someone worth giving up everything for.
And that was absolutely something I couldn’t afford.
Neither was her broken heart, which I would ultimately, irrevocably deliver.