Chapter Five
Lennon
I kept my eyes closed for a solid five minutes, the vision of me beating the shit out of Don effin’ Trainer playing on a loop. Another reason I was so glad high school was finally over. It meant I no longer had to deal with asshats like him. Him and his buddy, Jarred—the bane of my existence and a person who I prank-battled with for my entire life—were people I couldn’t wait to leave in the dust.
The image of my laptop sliding off the amp and sinking to the bottom of the cold, dark lake made me flinch. It wasn’t just the fact that it was only two years old. It was because I’d spent days perfecting the performance effects—lights, background additions, firework cues—and syncing the music for the show tonight. Hours of my life I’d never get back.
Well, at least until I found the spare laptop and flash drive at my dad’s, but I was still pissed on principle.
I’d never been so happy that I’d backed up my work.
Sucking in another steady breath, I got a hold of the adrenaline making my fingers shake and opened my eyes.
Jade had been so silent she even breathed quietly. She was giving me some much-needed time to cool my shit, and I was once again spiraling. The need to reach over the gearshift and grip her hand in mine was all-consuming, but I shut it down. Yes, tonight was my last night to explore the feelings I’d harbored for her for years…but I still didn’t know if I could do that to her. Especially when I was leaving for the summer.
When she’d shaken her keys at me earlier—coming to my rescue since my car was trapped in the line of partygoers’ vehicles—I had lost my breath for a second. The girl was stunning in a pair of dark skinny jeans and green top, making her eyes pop from behind those sexy-as-hell glasses she wore. And if I hadn’t been on the verge of murdering Don, I would’ve probably laughed at the way she’d beckoned me like a lost puppy…but damn if I didn’t go chasing after her like one.
“Thank you,” I said, bursting the silent bubble surrounding us.
She jumped a little at my voice before chuckling nervously. “For what?”
“For being here.” I raked my fingers through my hair. “For letting me work that crap out without asking me twenty questions.”
She laughed another snort-laugh, and I couldn’t stop the smile stretching my lips even though I didn’t have a clue what was funny.
“Figured if you wanted me to know what happened, and why we’re heading to your dad’s place, you’d let me know.”
I stared at her, amazed. Most of the girls that hung around the band wanted to know every single little thought going through my head. Lori—the stalker I couldn’t get rid of—often asked me the most mundane details, like what I’d had for breakfast or what color my toothbrush was.
Some girls wanted to know how I came up with my songs, where I would tour, which rock star I wanted to meet most, and on and on and on. It was refreshing to be around someone who simply waited for me to open up—as opposed to forcing it—though I’d known that Jade possessed that quiet patience for years now.
Our conversations between and after her Mathlete practices were enough to prove it, and if those hadn’t been, I would’ve known she was different from her drawings alone. The amount of time and gracefulness needed to produce such wicked-awesome art wouldn’t come from someone with a short attention span.
Damn it, why didn’t I try to hang with her sooner?
Because of my dad’s warning. Because of my own rules. Because I knew I couldn’t hang out with her on the reg and not make a move. She was that irresistible to me. My own personal temptation that no longer had the distance of school or rules or a mathlete coach between us.
“So,” I said, stretching out my legs in the massive boat of a car she had. “The parking spot.” I arched an eyebrow at her.
She spared me a quick glance before returning her eyes to the road. “What?”
“At the party,” I said, studying the gentle curve of her jawline. “Was it strategic for a quick exit or was it because you were late?”
She swallowed hard, her hands tightening around the steering wheel as she shook her head. “Maybe it was because I liked the way the car looked next to the tree.”
A chuckle ripped from my chest, clearing away the pent-up nastiness from the fight scene only minutes ago. “Seriously?”
Her laugh joined mine, and though it wasn’t the adorable snort-laugh I’d gotten used to, it was real and full, and I took a much-needed breath.
“Well,” she said and flipped her blinker on to turn down the street that would lead to my dad’s place, “it was a gloriously green tree. It made the rust around my doors pop.” Her lips made the sweetest popping sound when she said the last word, and I couldn’t help but focus on them for a few seconds.
The sheen of bright pink lip gloss did everything to make me want to feel that mouth against my own.
I jerked my gaze away from her, forcing the image of her kiss from my mind.
Deserves better. Remember?
The ongoing battle raged in my mind, killing all fantasies in their tracks. I may have sworn off making a move on her for years, but tonight was the night to end all nights. The last high school party. The last night of normalcy before I hopefully hit the stage and never looked back. The absolute last chance to tell her how I feel. How I’ve felt for years.
I may not be able to date her because of my summer tour, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t utilize this rare time with her. I mean, what were the odds that she happened to be the one standing at the exact right place at the absolutely wrong time? If there was any silver lining to Don being an asshole and knocking my laptop into the water, it was this time with Jade.
Even if it was hard as hell not to stare at her and the way she pushed her glasses up her nose with one pink-polished finger. The move drove me crazy in a way that made no sense but was undeniably hot.
Maybe I could tell her.
Maybe she’d laugh in my face.
Maybe she’d kiss me.
Maybe I’m an idiot.
“This car isn’t so bad,” I finally said when I forced myself to focus.
“Ha!” she blurted out.
“It gets you around, right?”
“Sure,” she said. “At a fifty-fifty odds rate.”
I chuckled.
After a few beats of silence, she glanced toward me and then back at the road. “Want to tell me yet?”
I ground my teeth for a second before blowing out another breath. “Don and Blaise got into it. Stupid shit as usual. Knocked my laptop into—”
Her gasp cut me off. “That’s what that was?”
“Yup.”
“The one with all your show effects on it?” she asked, and I was surprised she remembered me talking about it in the past.
“Yeah.” The one that I’d spent hours working on to ensure the record exec signed us, and by doing so extended our tour beyond three months.
“Fuck,” she hissed, and I shifted in my seat to face her with my mouth hanging open like an effin’ cartoon character. “Lennon,” she continued, oblivious to how much she’d just slipped into my heart with her adorable use of the F-bomb. “I’m so sorry.” She glanced at me. “Wait. Why are you looking at me like that?”
I snapped my mouth shut, trying to hold back the laughter that came so naturally around her.
“What?” she pleaded. “Do I have something on my face? Hanging out of my nose?” She ran one hand over her face in a frantic panic.
“No, no,” I said, waving her off. “You said ‘fuck.’”
And it was sexy as hell.
“Oh,” she said as she settled her hand back on to the wheel. “So?”
“So?” I mocked her. “You’ve never said it around me before.”
She smirked. “If you’d ever brought up something that required the word, I would have.”
“Oh really?”
“Yeah.” She shrugged. “You think just because I’m a nerd I don’t curse?”
“Not at all.” I shook my head, my hands raised in defense. “I’ve just never heard someone as pretty as you talk dirty before.”
Her cheeks flushed bright red and she swallowed hard. I bit down on my lip to keep the smirk from showing—riling her up was one of my main objectives every time we spoke, but tonight I was searching for a sign. Something concrete that proved I should tell her how amazing she was. Tell her how much I regret not spending every day with her. Tell her the highlight of my week was Mathlete practice.
The fear and doubt whispering in my heart forced me to change directions.
“So,” I said, my arms now loose at my sides. “Did you cry?”
She sputtered. “At what?”
“The grad ceremony.”
She burst out laughing and rolled her eyes. “Did you?”
“Oh yeah,” I teased. “I’m a huge baby. People telling us to embrace the future and make the world a better place?” I put my hand on the center of my chest. “Can’t stop the tears.”
She flashed me a genuine smile. “I can totally see that about you.”
“What?” I scrunched my brow at her, taken up short. “I was joking.”
“I know,” she said, eyeing me from the driver’s seat. “But there is something much softer inside of you than you ever show.”
I grunted. “And what makes you think that?”
She took a deep breath, like her answer required some sort of encouragement from her inner-self to get out. It made me swallow harder than necessary.
“It’s in your music.”
“That’s just performance. Playing to the crowd. More than half my audience is of the female persuasion. I have to write love songs to keep them wanting more.”
“No.” She shook her head. “Not what you play on stage.”
I sat up straighter in the seat.
“I’m talking about the times you think no one is listening. Those moments when your door is cracked, and you close your eyes with nothing but you and your black acoustic. The melodies are usually hauntingly beautiful, and the few words that slip past your lips are…”
An awareness slid over my senses, like tiny shocks of electricity.
“Poetic,” she finally said.
The blood in my veins pulsed hard and hot, and a tremor raced down my spine. No one had ever nailed me straight to the core before—no one had ever seen me as clearly as she just illustrated—and it scared the hell out of me.
Jade cleared her throat after a few minutes had gone by and all the words I was desperate to say clogged my throat so much I couldn’t speak.
“Or not,” she said, waving her hand between us like she could erase the comment. “I mean, I’m not an expert on music or any—”
“Don’t.” I reached out, capturing her hand in mine. The touch sent my heart flying. “Don’t put a disclaimer on it. Don’t sell yourself short.” I gently placed her hand back on the wheel, noticing the chills on her skin when I let her go. “I just didn’t realize you’d been watching.”
“I wasn’t. I don’t. I mean…” She chuckled nervously. “I have ears. I couldn’t help but hear, you know, during practice.”
I grinned at her. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For liking the stuff I’ve never played on stage.” Those moments she’d overheard were the times solely for myself. Moments I allowed the music and melody to flow through me as a much-needed break from what we practiced so hard during the week. And I wasn’t sad at all that Jade had heard me, understood me. It actually made me feel closer to her than ever before.
Was I really willing to risk losing that? Maybe. Probably. Because it could mean turning this into so much more.
A breath left her lips. “Who wouldn’t?”
“You’d be surprised,” I said, trying not to grumble.
I’d played some of my acoustic stuff for the rest of the band a few times, and while they dug it, the tour manager who’d signed us for the summer didn’t. He wanted us to stick to the sound that earned us the gig. Agreed, but it made me realize that in our efforts to get Ignited Hearts on the map, we may have to be creatively restricted during the climb.
“I would,” she said when I didn’t elaborate. “You and the band have a unique sound that separates you from all the other noise being blasted out there. It’s entrancing while most of the stuff being streamed is chaotic. When you guys play…you feel it. That’s what will have people snatching up tickets to your shows…regardless of who you’re playing with.”
I arched an eyebrow at her, my chest puffing out just a tad. “Why have you never said anything like that before?” All our countless nothing conversations at my dad’s and she’d never once brought up my music.
“I don’t know,” she said, her head tilting from side to side. “I assume that’s all people ever talk to you about. And for the few minutes we had to chat, I never wanted to bring up something that likely consumes your life.”
Holy. Hell.
Every instinct I’d ever had about Jade Aaron was dead-on.
She was different.
She was interesting.
She was perfect.
And I’d spent the last four years keeping a safe distance because of my father’s plea, and my own knowledge that I would never be good enough for a girl like her.
I was a born rule breaker, but my dad’s was one demand I’d listened to, abided by, because I knew the second I got a diploma I’d be on the first plane out. I’d never wanted to have any second-guessing on the matter—never wanted an excuse to linger, like a girlfriend I couldn’t leave behind.
Jade was definitely in that category, and we weren’t even dating. Not even close, and yet I felt more connected to her than any other girl I’d ever met.
“Like I said,” I finally continued, jerking myself out of my own thoughts. “Thank you.”
Another flush rushed over her cheeks as she turned into my dad’s driveway, and I had to resist the urge to kiss her the second she killed the ignition. A quick escape from the party had ended up feeling like the best first date I’d ever had, and we hadn’t been in the car more than twenty minutes.
One more second together and we’d break our record average for all our conversations in the past.
And somehow the fact thrilled me more than the rush I got just before I grabbed the mic and the lights illuminated the stage.