Chapter Fifteen
Lennon
“This’ll be the before shot,” I said, snapping a picture on my cell of Fynn looking fifty shades of green. I had to give him credit, though. He wasn’t backing down, instead he was going bigger. Not only was he ready to tell Braylen how he felt, he was going to sing her favorite song on stage—one of his biggest fears.
I wanted to be that brave. That selfless. But I didn’t know if I was capable.
“Before what?” he asked.
“Before utter humiliation,” I teased.
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
I slipped my cell back into my pocket, having already responded to Rachel. Her ETA was fifteen-minutes away. Plenty of time for Fynn to do his thing, then Ignited Hearts do ours.
“Sorry, bro,” I said. “It’s just funny as hell from where I’m standing.” And legit as shit. The idea I’d toyed with earlier formed fully fledged in my mind, and my heart stuttered just thinking about seeing it through. Fynn was an inspiration, but it didn’t mean I had to tell him that.
“How much time do I have?” he asked.
“Ten minutes till midnight.” The perfect time. The one thing that had gone according to plan tonight—the show kicking off a new day. “You still going to take some shots?”
“I’ll do my best, man,” he said. “But this is more important. If I don’t get the shots, you’ll understand?”
“Sure,” I said, nodding. The dude was focused on the one thing that mattered to him more than his passion of snapping photos. Damn. It was like his actions were a big neon sign flashing in my face. “I got ya, bro.”
After a few more well-placed jabs from me, I glanced at my cell. We only had a few more minutes. “Did you see her out there?” I asked and motioned toward the crowd he couldn’t stop scanning.
“Nope. Jade wouldn’t tell me, either.”
My entire body jolted at the sound of her name, and I swallowed hard. “You saw Jade?” I asked, hope rushing through my blood so fast it stung.
Fynn pointed to the camera around his neck. “On my way to get this.”
“Right,” I said. He eyed me with a curious, too-knowing gaze. “Whatever,” I added for good measure.
He chuckled. “Can’t wait to hear that story.”
I rolled my eyes, desperately wishing I knew the ending to it. “I’ll tell you later while we paint each other’s nails.”
“Thanks again for doing this.” He shook my hand, and the knots in my stomach twisted.
What was it about tonight that had everyone around me becoming more important than I ever knew possible?
“No worries, man,” I said, trying to shake off the feeling. “I’ll get you a backstage pass to my next show for the shots. Tonight is about you finally getting the girl.”
And I want to follow your lead.
“If,” he said.
“When,” I corrected him and waggled my eyebrows before I walked to my main mic.
The familiar screams and cheers and whistles followed my appearance and I fist bumped the air. “Thanks for coming out,” I said once the crowd had hushed. “There are two things that need addressing before the show starts.” I smirked at Fynn before returning my attention to the audience. “First.” I pointed toward the cars in the distance. “There is a Ford Focus who left their lights on all night like a dumbass.” I got a good laugh out of that, but something heavy sank in my gut. “And two.” I pushed through the feeling, waving Fynn up. “Fynn has something he needs to say.”
I stepped backward, giving him the space he needed to do his thing. I rubbed at the center of my chest, something gnawing around the edges of my heart so much it burned. As Fynn somehow found the courage to start crooning the opening lyrics to my song, “Bring on the Night,” it hit me.
The applause. The cheers. The energy of the crowd.
It didn’t have the same effect it normally did. There was no rush of adrenaline, no incredible sense of connection with the show-goers.
I wasn’t whole.
After what I’d said to Jade, after choosing the tour and the show and all of it over giving us a chance, something inside me had snapped.
It all meant nothing without knowing if she was there listening or not.
Blinking out of the painful revelation, I grabbed the secondary mic, nearly missing my cue to help Fynn out with the chorus. “I can’t believe you know the words to this song,” I said directly into his ear so he could hear me.
Our voices blended surprisingly well as we finished the rest of the song, and while I performed as I usually would, it felt empty.
When the song finished, I again faded into the background so Fynn could say what he needed to. And I watched in amazement as he poured his fucking heart out in front of the entire senior class. He spoke as if Braylen was the only one out there listening, and yet, we were all part of this huge moment for the two of them, and it both made me wicked-glad we’d come up with this idea, and absolutely down that I wasn’t doing the same fucking thing.
Fynn had said Jade was out there a half hour ago, but she could be long gone by now.
And if she’s still out there?
A spark raced across my skin. If she was still out there, then I hadn’t blown it.
I scanned the faces of the crowd, locking eyes with Fynn when he walked to the edge of the stage. I nodded at him, silently telling him to take the mic with him into the crowd.
Get the damn girl.
Like I should be doing.
I continued searching for a pair of green eyes rimmed by black glasses, and my heart sank with every empty sweep. If she’d left, I’d lost her for good.
After a few minutes, he walked back to the stage and tossed the mic up to me.
I sucked in a sharp breath, mustering my show-voice as well as I could. I’d never had to try so hard before in my life, but I couldn’t stand that I wasn’t chasing down Jade like I should be.
After one more shout out to Fynn, we launched right into the show, me performing on autopilot, the words moving me but not with the same umph. And it was my fault. I’d let her go. I’d forced her out. I’d driven her away from me all because I was afraid I’d break her heart.
But it was my heart that was hers to break.
Because she was it for me.
And that scared me the most.
By the sixth song, I’d lost all hope of spotting her in the crowd. It didn’t matter how many times I walked the length of the stage, the songs spilling from my lips while I actively met the eyes of every single person in the audience—including the exec, Rachel, who I spotted easily because of the expensive suit she wore. She held the future of Ignited Hearts in her hands, and while I was trying my damnedest to secure us an album and a longer tour, I couldn’t help but wish to spot Jade.
It was never her.
I arched my head back, taking a much-needed breath as Blaise rocked his drum solo. Rolling my neck, I swayed to the beat and bounced on the balls of my feet. All my nervous energy due to the overwhelming urge I had to rush off stage instead of stay on it and perform. To earn our record deal and further seal up my future.
Just another sign of how much I’m crazy for her.
An awareness slipped over my skin, like sinking into the infinity pool, and I snapped my eyes toward the edge of the crowd near the back.
There. Green eyes. Black glasses. Blond hair blowing in the breeze.
Jade.
Her name rang inside my head sweeter than any song we’d played tonight.
She’s still here. I haven’t lost my chance.
We locked eyes despite her being far away. I couldn’t tell if she knew I was looking at her, but ice splintered over my chest when she turned around, her back to me, and started walking away.
The image broke something inside me. The idea of her walking away from me, of losing her forever.
I forgot about the record exec tracking our every note, every strum, every song.
Nothing else mattered.
I dropped the mic, leaped off the stage, and shoved through the crowd.
Hundreds of hands and screams slowed me down, but I pushed and ran until I’d broken free from the audience. Another few steps and I wrapped my fingers around her wrist. My chest rose and fell rapidly from the effort it took to catch her, but I spun her toward me.
“Lennon?” She gasped. “What the hell are you doing?” She pointed toward the stage. “It’s your show!”
“It doesn’t matter.” I shook my head.
“Yes it does!” she yelled. “The record label. The album. The tour extension—”
“You matter,” I cut her off. “Not the show. Or the tour. Or the contract. And I’m sorry I pushed you away. I’m sorry I was too fucking scared of ruining you to tell you how I felt. To tell you how much you mean to me. Because you’re it, Jade.” Tears made her green eyes glitter, and I dared to cup her cheek. “I love the way we can talk about literally nothing and it feels important. I love the way you push your glasses up your nose when you’re nervous. I love the way you look right after you’ve drawn on a fresh piece of paper. I love the way you give out incredibly hard math answers like someone was asking you what color the sun was. I love your passion, and your quirks, and the way you saved me from stalkers.” I sucked in a sharp breath. “I love you, Jade. I have since you called my red Fender a glitter bomb. And I don’t know how this will work, with me on tour and you going to college, but I do know what it feels like to lose you…because I felt it tonight. And I’ve never regretted anything more.”
A soft smile broke her lips, and I stepped closer to her. “So forget this show. Forget tomorrow. Just give me your now. Please? Can you do that? Can you forgive me?”
Each of my muscles twisted as I waited for her to move or say something…anything. I could hear Blaise in the background, picking up on the vocals I’d abandoned, and doing a pretty damn good job at it, too.
She shook her head, and my heart shattered.
I’m not good enough for her.
I moved to step back, but she grabbed my hand.
“I don’t push my glasses up when I’m nervous.”
I tilted my head, holding my breath for her next move.
She flung her arms around my neck, and the breath left my lungs in one sweet rush. I lifted her off her feet, capturing her around the waist and bringing our bodies flush. I eyed her lips and then back up to her eyes, a silent question.
She didn’t bother with a voiced answer, instead crushed her lips on mine.
My eyes closed, the sounds of the crowd and the music fading to nothing. I got lost in the taste of her, the feel of her…everything Jade. With a few simple words and the brush of her lips over mine, I felt myself being woven back together in a way that was stronger than before.
I hadn’t known what I’d been missing until I’d lost it.
And now that I had her back, I had no intentions of letting her go.
“You should go,” she said, breaking our kiss.
Or not.
“What?” I sat her on her feet but kept hold of her hands.
She eyed the stage. “Go finish the concert.”
“No. No way. You need to know that it was never a choice between you or the show.”
She grinned. “And you need to know that I would never be the girl to make you choose.” She shrugged. “I think I’ve loved you for a long time, Lennon. I’ve always known who you are, and what you’re meant to do. It never bothered me before. It’s one of the reasons I fell for you. Your passion. Now,” she said, unlocking our hands and taking a few steps away from me. “Go land that record deal.”
I was grounded to the spot.
“I’ll be here when you’re done.”
The words released me of the panic freezing my body, and I broke the distance between us to kiss the breath out of her one more time. “How did I get lucky enough to deserve you?” I asked, knowing I didn’t but was going to try my hardest to earn the honor.
She kissed me quickly, and then pushed the glasses back up her nose. A warm shiver danced down my spine and I practically growled. She smirked. “This is going to be fun,” she said, backing up even more until I could no longer touch her. “You really should go. Blaise is good, but he’s no Lennon Pryor.”
“Gah.” I groaned. “All right, all right. If you get bored you can always wait for me in my room.” I slowly started moving back toward the crowd. Each step away from her took more strength than when I’d fought through hundreds of bodies to get to her.
“Maybe I will,” she called just as I sank back into the throngs of students still jamming out to Blaise’s take on the songs.
With an incredible amount of willpower I didn’t know I possessed, I climbed back on the stage. Blaise tossed me the mic instantly, his eyes full of relief as he sprinted back behind his drums.
I finished out the song, my heart fully into it now that it was completely put back together.
“I’m not going to apologize for leaving,” I said into the mic, drawing out the time between the end of that song and the next. The audience hushed as I spoke, and I looked past the sea of faces until I spotted her. She had moved closer to the house, and the thoughts of her actually going into my room to wait for me sent a thrill through me like no other.
Jade was finally mine.
And she had claimed me entirely.
“Today was a big day,” I said, pacing the length of the stage. “Graduation. Four years gone. I’m sure some of you have regrets. Wishes or things you’d change. But we’re here. We made it. And sometimes looking back on the moments you wished were different can make you realize just how important the now is. Don’t waste a second. Don’t hold back.” I pressed my lips into a hard line, hoping she knew I’d spend every day I was allowed making it up to her. “I had to amend something tonight. Had to tell a girl I love her.” A gasp shook the crowd and I laughed. “Seems like a theme for the night, yeah?” I rolled my finger to tell the band to start up the next song, more than ready to sing my heart out. Applause and whoops sounded, and I fist bumped the air. “The night is still young!” I shouted. “And it’s never too late.” I winked at Jade, even though I doubted she could see it from that far away. “Let’s end it with a bang.”
There are a thousand nights
That never happened
A million seconds
That slipped on by
While I tried to catch your eye
And now it’s time to say goodbye
I jumped up and down to the fast beat of the song, the words pouring out of me stronger than ever before.
So let’s celebrate
The nights that never happened
The ones we can’t forget
Let’s shake the dawn awake
And savor every mistake
Let’s aim for the top
And embrace the change
Come on, let’s end this endless night
With a bang!
I jutted the mic out, allowing the words from the crowd to fill the speakers as they chimed the chorus.
There are a thousand nights
That never happened
A million seconds
That slipped on by
While I tried to catch your eye
And now it’s time to say goodbye
My hair flung over my eyes as I nodded to the beat before singing the rest of the song. When I caught my breath as the crowd roared, I searched the spot Jade had just been in. She was no longer there, and for a moment, my heart stuttered at the thought of her leaving.
Then it filled with the sweetest heat. I knew where she was.
Waiting for me.
And I’d never wanted to finish a show faster.