Quinn

After everyone left, an impulsive rush of courage hit me, and I suddenly wanted to come clean with the man I claimed to love and who also loved me. It was long overdue. “Axel?”

He looked up in response.

“I need to tell you something. And I really hope it doesn’t change how you feel about me.”

Axel sat in silence, raising one eyebrow.

“I haven’t been completely honest with you about what I did for a living in San Francisco.” I took a deep breath, suddenly wishing I hadn’t started this conversation. “I write. I write for several different magazines, and I do some other freelance writing gigs. But my main dream is that I also hope to have a book soon.”

Axel’s expression turned skeptical. “Why haven’t you told me this? Aren’t you proud of being a writer? I’d think that would be something you would love to share.”

“Harrison’s my editor.”

“I don’t understand. Why wouldn’t you tell me this? What’s the big deal?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t know why I felt the need to… lie.”

Axel sat in silence, his eyes darkening. “You lied to me?”

My heart stopped. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. I sat in place, paralyzed in fear. Axel’s voice sounded so serious. God, was he going to break it off with me for lying? The devastation began to take over, and the tears that had threatened since I had decided to tell the truth fell freely.

Axel rushed over and put his arms around her. “Why are you crying?”

I tried to get the words out between sobs. “Please, Axel. I don’t want what you and I have to end. I love you.”

He pulled away to look at me in surprise. “Why would you think we would be over? I love you, Quinn Sullivan. You need to understand that breaking up is never going to be an option for us. I might get mad. You might get mad. But ending what we have is not going to happen. Are we clear?”

I nodded. “Yes. I shouldn’t have hidden that part of me from you. I wanted to… I just didn’t.”

Axel embraced me and rubbed his hands on my back. “It’s okay. We’re still learning about each other. I don’t like that you lied to me, but I wouldn’t leave you for something so stupid.” He gave me a warm smile. “I would love to hear about your writing. Maybe you’ll let me read some of it.”

I realized he had no idea of the entire story, and didn’t assume I was working on a book that involved him. Looking at the man before me, I decided right then and there that I wouldn’t tell him, because I no longer planned to use his name. Maybe I’d still write about the LA nightlife, but I wouldn’t do it at Axel’s expense.

* * *

Quinn

The next morning, I called Harrison early to inform him I wasn’t going to do the book on Axel Rye. If I were to write one at all, it would not involve him in the slightest. His name was off the table. Hopefully, Harrison would understand and agree with my choice. I’d just got done leaving a message on his voicemail when Felicity walked into the kitchen.

“So, have you told Axel that you’re working on a book yet about him?” She walked to the fridge, pulling out a container of juice. Her question was becoming her morning routine.

I looked down at my feet, and shook my head.

“You should tell him already, Quinn,” she said. “Axel’s fallen for you. If you guys are really as strong as you keep saying you are, I’m sure he’ll understand.”

“I know, I know,” I said. “I admitted to him last night that I’m a writer, and I even told him that Harrison is my editor. But I stopped there. He has no idea that I came here to write a book that involved him.”

Felicity poured two glasses of orange juice. “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you, you need to come clean before it gets worse.” She sat down across from me. “Do you plan on writing a book that paints Axel in a bad light?”

“No! I would never do that to him. There’s nothing negative to say.”

“Well, it doesn’t look that way with how secretive you are being over something pretty stupid, which is why you need to stop with these games. Axel deserves better.”

“I decided I’m leaving Axel’s name out of any book I write… if I even write one at this point. So it’s really a non issue now,” I defended, feeling my irritation grow.

Felicity rolled her eyes. “So you think you don’t have to tell Axel the rest of the truth. Come on, Quinn. Don’t try to fool yourself.”

I winced. She was right again. I knew that I owed Axel the entire truth. If the tables were turned, I wouldn’t be okay with Axel withholding any information. I knew I needed to fess up. Half-truths were still fucking lies.

But how could I do that? I also still had a book to write. Could I still write it without using Axel’s notoriety? Would it even sell without his name? Did I really have my heart in it at all? Harrison had already questioned me a few days ago if I really thought I could go back to San Francisco and leave Axel behind. I had assured him I could, and that was still the plan. But in my heart, I knew I would never be able to leave Axel. My life was spinning.

“I’m going to tell Axel the truth. There is nothing to be ashamed of, and I have no plans of upsetting him. This book could give Axel the voice that’s been lacking in the media.”

“If you truly believed that, then you would’ve already told him.”

I saw the disapproval on Felicity’s face. “I know all of this. It’s that I’m scared. I don’t want to upset him. Things are going so well.”

Felicity got up and grabbed a box of cereal as she spoke. “It’s time. I may not know everything about relationships, but I know that you keeping on this way will make you lose Axel.”

* * *

Quinn

All day I got a strange vibe from Axel. Something just felt a bit off. My shame in keeping a secret had started to play with my mind, and the conversation I’d had with Felicity that morning didn’t help. I kept wondering if maybe Axel knew about my secret and just didn’t say anything. Maybe he was waiting to see how long it took for me to come clean. Maybe his crew had gotten wind of it. Especially since Harrison was already trying to shop the book, and it was about to blow up in my face. This lie made me sick to my stomach.

After we finished having a quiet lunch at a café and got in his car, Axel leaned over and kissed me passionately, instantly putting my mind at ease. This wasn’t an act of a jealous or angry boyfriend.

“That was nice,” I purred after the ravenous kiss. “I get the feeling that something is on your mind, though. You don’t seem yourself today.”

“I have a surprise.” He smiled before leaning in and giving me another small peck on the cheek.

My mind raced, searching for clues in Axel’s facial expression. Thankfully, it didn’t appear as if he knew anything about my deception. So, from this point on, it could be anything and I would be happy.

“What? I love surprises!” I clapped my hands together like an excited little girl.

“You’ll have to wait and see,” he said. “I want to take you there.”

I squinted my eyes and pushed out my lips in a pout. “Fine.” I buckled my seatbelt. “But you’re driving me crazy.”

As soon as Axel parked the car in a large lot by a warehouse building, he turned the car off and leaned against his door to face me.

“Where are we?” I tried hiding my anxiousness.

“Okay, you know I get photographed a lot for my… profession… if you call it that.”

I nodded. “Yeah?”

“There’s a photo shoot inside that I have to do.”

My eyes narrowed a bit. “And this is a surprise? Why didn’t you just tell me that you had to work?”

“We both have to work.”

I stared at him, clueless.

“The photo shoot is for both of us. The magazine wants a spread of us as a couple.”

I sat motionless, stunned by the idea.

“I knew you’d be nervous. But trust me, okay?” Axel said while reaching for my hand.

My eyes widened. My face burned as if on fire. “No way! I can’t do that. I’m not a model.”

“I’m not a model, either.” He leaned over to kiss me. “But you’re beautiful, and I want you by my side. I’ll be with you every step of the way.” Axel grazed his lips across mine. Grabbing my face with his hand so I had no choice but to stare into his eyes, he added, “I want the whole world to know that you’re mine.”

“And if I say no?” I asked.

“I won’t force you. I’ll go inside and cancel.”

“You can’t just do it without me?”

Axel kissed me again, meeting my eyes. “No, because this was meant for me to do with you. But the choice is yours.”

I stiffened and nibbled on my bottom lip. “Okay, I’ll do it. But promise me that I won’t look like an idiot.”

“You’ll be perfect.”

My mind spun into overdrive. I had no idea how to pose for a picture. Did I smile, or look sexy, or try to pull off sultry? I tightened my jaw and stared out into nothing in front of me. My pulse beat so fast that I thought I might have a heart attack.

“What’s wrong?” Axel asked.

“Will people recognize me after this?”

“Most likely. Is that going to be a problem?”

“Well… uh… yeah, I kind of think it is.” I turned to stare at Axel. “I’m not sure I’m ready to be… well to be… openly dating...”

“A drug dealer?”

I shook my head. “It’s not like that. It’s just that you have a lot of notoriety and well…”

Axel looked crushed. “I guess I just thought that since you and I were…” Axel shook his head and reached to open the door. “Never mind, I’ll go cancel the shoot. It was stupid—”

“Wait,” I interrupted. “You’re right. We are.” I reached for Axel’s hand. “I’d be honored to be by your side. Let’s go do this.”

Axel tensed up.

“What’s wrong?”

He shook his head. “I’m not sure. I just get the feeling sometimes like you aren’t telling me everything. Like you’re holding back.”

I stared at him for a moment. The door had opened. This was the time to just blurt it all out. Confess everything and hope to God that we could move on. This was the time… but the shoot. We had work to do.

“Quinn? Are you keeping our relationship a secret from someone? I didn’t think about the fact that maybe you haven’t told everyone in your life about me when I scheduled the shoot. I guess I just assumed that everyone knew.”

My eyes narrowed, not understanding at first. “What?” I shook my head violently. “No, no! I’m not keeping you secret at all. I swear.”

Axel didn’t say anything.

“What’s the matter?” I couldn’t read the expression on his face.

“I just get the feeling sometimes that there’s more.”

The door was opened even wider. Now. Now.

I took a deep breath. A large enough breath to jump in the deep end. “Harrison,” I said. “Well, it’s not exactly what you think.” I hesitated, nerves racking my body.

I watched Axel’s expression change slightly. “I think I know what’s going on.”

“You do? I wondered if you did. I’m so sorry for keeping this from you.”

“Why didn’t you tell Harrison that we are together? Do you think he’d have a problem with that? Do you think he will think I’m a bad influence?”

The lump in my throat sunk to the depth of my stomach. I realized that Axel was completely off base. He had no idea the real truth about Harrison. I shook my head. “No, that’s not it. Harrison knows all about you and me. Well, I haven’t exactly gone into detail with him on how close we have become. But I’m pretty sure he can connect the dots.” I smiled. “You are after all, Axel Rye. You aren’t exactly known for your virginal ways.”

Axel looked confused. “Then what? What’s going on?”

Overwhelmed with guilt and fear, I sat motionless. Twisting my fingers together, I tried to drum up the courage to confess. I’d felt so many unfamiliar emotions since I’d met Axel, yet none compared to what I was feeling now. The fear of losing him made me realize just how important Axel was. If I were standing right now, the emotions would certainly bring me to my knees.

Axel kissed my temple softly. “Hey, whatever it is, can’t be that bad. You’re pale.”

I looked down at my hands, picking at the loose skin around my cuticle. Every ounce of my courage dissipated by the second. There was no way I could let Axel out of my life now. The thought suffocated me, gripping my beating heart. I sat in the car feeling dazed.

“Quinn, what’s going on? You’re scaring me.”

I attempted to give a reassuring smile. “It’s no big deal. Silly really.” I reached out and patted Axel’s leg. “Let’s go get this shoot over with, and then I’ll tell you all about it.”