Ten Months Later . . .

Stepping inside Paradise Diner, I prepare for the impending assault of memories. They wash over me like a tidal wave but I embrace them. Losing Richard. Meeting Preston . . . walking away, and then gaining my strength, it all led me here to this moment. Having spent the past ten months focusing on myself, I’m finally ready to face my fears . . . to face him. Every week that I’ve seen Dr. Beckett, I’ve grown stronger, and today I’m ready to confront the man I had to walk away from. I’ve come here with a purpose. It’s not by accident I’m here at the very place I know he frequents. We have unfinished business that I intend to resolve. Perhaps it isn’t fair that I’m ambushing him, but I need him to look at me and see that I’m better.

As I wait, I peer toward the window and watch as people pass by. A young couple walks hand in hand, and my heart swells at the sight. Months ago seeing this might have hurt me, but not now. I’m ready for what they have.

To live. To breath. To love.

My lips part into a smile as I watch them fade into the horizon, a sigh escaping my mouth. The chime above the door rings and pulls me out of my thoughts. I don’t have to look to know who’s walked in. The air has shifted around me.

I’ve imagined this moment so many times. Replayed how I would respond to seeing him again, but as often as I fantasized about this moment, I’m finding myself ill prepared for the emotions coursing through me.

My eyes find him. God, he looks gorgeous. As if no time has passed. His shoulders are pulled back and he’s wearing a blue hoodie and jeans. I love him like this. I’m reminded of our trip together. The weekend I began to fall in love with him. A stolen moment where we were able to live in our bubble and just enjoy each other with no consequences.

I want to run to him.

I want to jump into his arms.

Kiss him madly.

Never let him go.

I hold back the tears of joy that threaten to fall from my eyes.

He walks towards me, but hasn’t yet seen me. The closer he gets, the more I have to secure myself to the seat as to not make a fool of myself.

Patience. You’ve waited this long.

He twists his body speaking to someone behind him. As he turns back around, I get a peek at who he’s talking to and my heart stops. All of the oxygen leaves my body and an all-encompassing sadness slithers its way inside me.

He’s not alone.

She’s tall and lithe. Long brown hair cascades down her back in waves.

She’s beautiful.

The woman says something which causes Preston to throw his head back and laugh in joyous abandon.

He’s happy.

Familiar ghosts are gnawing at me, the panic that wants to overtake my body consuming. It claws at me. Wanting desperately to take over and pull me into its wicked trance. I almost fall prey, but I’ve come too far.

Instead I straighten my back and stand taller.

You’re strong. You’re brave. You’re better.

She mouths something to him then places her hand lovingly on his forearm, leaning up on tiptoes to place a tender kiss on his cheek . . . every last piece of me dies.

I’m too late. He’s moved on.

Everything in me says get the hell out of here, but I’m too late. Before I can make my escape, our gaze locks. Preston’s dark eyes go wide, his pupils taking up the entire circumference. Every muscle in his body seems to tense.

Inhale. One. Two. Three.

Exhale. One. Two. Three.

Through my breathing, memories of everything I’ve learned since I met Preston flood my mind. My journey to forgiveness, overcoming my fears about life and myself. I will not falter. I will square my shoulders and hold my head high. I will remember to be strong, and not to let the sadness take over.

At least not here . . . not where he can see me fall.

He steps toward me.

“Eve?” he says confused. Like he’s trying to gauge whether it’s really me he’s seeing. I close the distance between us, standing in front of them, my teeth gnawing viciously at inside of my cheek.

“Hello, Preston.” I turn my head toward the brunette, smiling wide despite the very real need to cry.

“Oh. Um, this is Heather. Heather this is Eve Hamilton,” he stutters. The awkwardness of the situation only grows worse with his obvious discomfort. I extend my hand, hoping to alleviate the tension.

“Nice to meet you, Heather.”

“Nice to meet you too, Eve.” She smiles warmly at me.

She’s sweet.

“We were just grabbing breakfast,” he offers lamely. Heather moves closer to him. The way she’s staring at him makes every muscle in my body feel as if it’s being pulled tight.

She’s in love with him.

“Are you coming or going?” Preston asks, pulling me out of my haze.

“Going.” I step aside. “I’m going.” He nods and opens his mouth to speak but stops himself.

“Ready to sit, Preston?” Her hand rubs up his arm. She’s touching him, her hands are on him—I am barely masking the pain this is causing. Desperate to leave, I nod and begin to slowly retreat.

I have to go.

As strong as I am now, this is too much. Seeing him here. Seeing her with him is too much. I need to be alone. I need to feel this pain.

“It was good seeing you, Eve.” I don’t miss the way his voice cracks when he says my name.

I smile. It’s weak and fake, but it’s the only thing I can do to not fall apart right there in the middle of the restaurant.

My eyes meet his one final time as a single tear I can no longer hold falls.

* * *

Three Days Later . . .

“I saw Preston the other day, ” I say to Dr. Beckett as I lean forward hugging my knees to my chest. “He was with another woman.” She pauses what she’s writing, and looks up at me. The lines etched on her weathered face becoming more pronounced.

“And how did that make you feel?”

“It tore me in two. That day I arrived feeling on top of the world and ready to move forward. The ambush backfired in the cruelest of ways. It hurts to know that I lost him, but at least he looks happy and that makes me happy. The hardest part is that I have so much I need to say to him, and never had the chance. I couldn’t get past the hurt to just say it. The strength to pull him aside to talk was not there.”

“I know it must feel hard and I’m sure you’re scared of what you will find out, but I do think you need closure. I think your next step is you reaching out to him, thanking him, and then you might be ready to move on.”

“Okay.” My fragile heart doesn’t want to know if he’s moved on with Heather. From the looks at the diner, he has. I can’t blame him. She was perfect in every way. How could I expect him to wait for me? It was unrealistic for me to think he wouldn’t.

So much time has passed, and my feelings have never wavered. Unfortunately, I was too late. Regardless, I do agree I need to thank him for being instrumental to me finally finding peace with my mother and with myself.

Once back at my apartment, my eyes are glued to the blank screen in front of me. I know I have to dial. I need to find the strength, swallow my pride and stuff my emotions as far down as I can. With a shaking hand, I type the one number I’ve avoided for so long.

“Eve?” It’s him. His voice sends my heart soaring despite my every move to suppress it.

“Hi,” I squeak. “Listen, I know this is long overdue but I needed to speak with you.”

Silence fills the space between. My nerves are getting the better of me, so I rattle on. “I wanted to say thank you.” Still he says nothing. At this point I have nothing to lose, so I go on. “Meeting you, loving you . . . it was my saving grace.” I sigh. “No matter what happens, I need you to know.” I prepare to hang up as it appears he has nothing to offer, but finally he speaks.

“Meet me. I need to talk to you.” My stomach tightens in nerves.

“I don't know if that's smart. I don't want to cause problems between you and Heather,” I whisper so that he doesn’t hear how my voice cracks.

“Eve, we need to talk about that.” My heart hammers in my chest and I nod to myself, not that he can see me. “Is that a yes,” he says through the phone.

“Yes.” I stutter.

“Have you had dinner?”

“Not yet.”

“Okay, Paradise. Eight Thirty?” An hour and half to prepare to see him . . . Am I ready? Can I do this? Will I have the strength to hear whatever he has to say?

I am.

Good or bad it’s time I put this part to rest.

“Okay.” The line goes dead.

* * *

I’m going to be late. Shit. With fast steps, I move through the crowded streets and to the corner. My skirt flies up as a cab whooshes by.

I wonder what will happen. How everything will go down. As I wait for the light to change and the cars to pass, I look into the passing traffic. It isn’t so bad for a Tuesday evening, and walking in the crisp air is invigorating. New York City isn’t usually this chilly this time of year, but it seems spring is lingering in the air. This thought reminds me that we are only nine months away from the statue of limitation running out. I shake off the thought. No need to set myself up for more disappointment.

In a rush, I step in the door.

A short line has formed in front of me, but when the crowd parts, I come face to face with all I was hoping for. All I’ve dreamed about. Preston. His lips part into a smile as he sees me.

“Am I too late?” I whisper to myself. There’s no way he can hear me but the way his eyes pierce mine, I think . . . no, I believe he can. As I close the distance between us, it’s as though there is something tethering me to him, pulling me closer.

“Am I late?” I blurt out, my heart beating erratically.

“Nope, your timing is impeccable.” His words swallow me whole. Invade every crevice of my mind that still dares to dream.

“I was scared I was too late.” The way he looks at me, I know he understands my meaning.

“It’s never too late. It will never be too late.”

“But what about—”

“What about nothing. There was never anyone else. There is no one but you. The other day when you saw me with Heather, it meant nothing.” He extends a hand to me, his finger sweeping lightly against my jaw. “Jace was sick of me moping around, so he said I needed to date. Get out there again. Heather works in the hospital with me. She’s made her interest in me known for a long time, so I asked her out.”

“She’s in love with you.” My head tips down to look at the floor. “I should know,” I mutter.

“Yeah,” He takes a deep breath and my eyes snap back up. There’s so much emotion in his eyes but I can’t place it. “He said it would be good for me,” he repeats.

“And was it?”

“Yeah.” His voice dips low, it sends a wave of chills down my spine as I wait for him to continue. To seal my fate. “It was good because it made me realize there's no one else for me but you.”

My mouth trembles against his fingertips as all of my pent-up emotions come pouring out in fresh tears. He reaches up and collects the wetness. “I was so scared. I knew what I had to do, and I did it. But then I had to wait for it to be okay for us to be together. It felt so long, this time without you. I was so scared you’d moved on. That you forgot about me,” I stammer out.

“How could I ever forget about you? Don’t you know by now that I love you?” He pulls me into his arms and buries his head in my neck. “I love you,” he whispers into my skin before he moves his head back and his mouth connects with mine, showing me just how much.

“Okay, I get it,” I laugh into his lips. He pulls away and gives me a heart-stopping smirk.

“I’m glad you’re finally starting to catch on.” He says with a wink.

“God, I’ve missed you. It feels as if I’ve been everywhere and nowhere. Does that make sense?”

“More than you know. That’s how I’ve felt, too. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. We only have to wait—”

“I don’t want to wait anymore. I don’t want to waste another minute not being with you.” I say.

“Okay, so we won’t wait. We just have to be careful until the time passes, but are you sure you’re ready? As much as it would kill me to let you go again, you have to be sure.”

“I swear, I’ve been to hell and back. But when I lost you, I found me. God, I had so much to learn, but knowing there was a chance for us . . . I fought. I hired a new therapist, not one from your list. She’s wonderful. She’s been working with me to not need approval. She’s been helping me to forgive, and she’s been working with Mom.” His eyes widen at my words.

“Yeah, the three of us have been meeting. Dr. Beckett has been helping her to understand that it’s not her fault Dad took his life. She’s really come a long way.” Tears fill my eyes. “Last week, she came to the office with me. She’s leaving her house again. Do you know how amazing this is?”

“I’m so happy for you.” He smiles.

“You saved me, Preston.” 

“No. You saved you. I only gave you some of the tools you needed.” His arms wrap around me and he holds me in his arms.

“I used to be scared, but now I’m controlling it. I’m learning new coping mechanisms and I’m building myself up one day at a time. I have more to learn, but I’m working on it. I’m not perfect, and I still have nightmares sometimes, but it’s okay, because no one’s perfect.”

“To me, you’re perfect.” He runs his hand up my spine. “To me, you’re everything. You are beautiful inside and out.”

I exhale the last bit of fear that still resided in my body. The fear that I had lost him.