Bittersweet. That’s what this is. As we both pack our belongings, sadness hovers in the air. It lingers and bathes us. It’s all-encompassing and tangible. Choking us as the seconds pass.

My own heart breaks a million times before we even leave the room. As I step outside, I turn back one final time to memorize each second we spent here together.

If I could push reset, I would, but I can’t. So I hold my head high and walk with Preston to our car.

The drive is silent. Neither of us dare speak. I watch out the window as the city comes into view. I want to ask if there’s a chance for us. Not now, but maybe in the future. He cares for me. I know it. It’s in every gesture. Every look. Every touch. But love me, or even care about me enough to risk his future? Well, that’s a question I don’t know the answer to. A question I’m not willing to risk. No, I won’t ask. I’ll bite my lip and not beg him to give me a chance.

“Eve,” he says, his head turning slightly to see my eyes. “I bought you something.” He reaches for the bag on the back seat and hands it to me.

“Should I open it now?”

“No,” he says, but nothing more. He doesn’t need to. The implication is there, laced behind the pain etched in his voice. It’s a parting gift. There is no future here. These will be the last minutes spent in the bubble we created.

I will leave it as it was meant to be.

A stolen moment.

One chapter of a book.

My whole body hurts from the weight of emotion hanging above us. The tension is so high I might suffocate.

Through the windshield, I see my apartment building. It looms in the distance, but as the seconds pass, the space separating the car from my home disintegrates until we are back where we started two days ago, his Range Rover parked in front of my building.

Two days.

A lifetime.

Everything between us has changed, yet it all stays the same.

This is it. This is the end. I want to beg and plead. Tell him to never leave me. Tell him to risk it all for me.

Tell him I’m falling in love with him. That he is everything I’ve ever hoped and dreamed about. Instead, as a lone tear drips down my face . . .

I say good-bye. I want to crumble to my feet, but instead, I square my shoulders and hold my head high. Plenty of time later to fall apart. I will not let him see how badly I hurt. I know he’s hurting, too, but unfortunately, the timing isn’t right for us.

* * *

Later that night, I lie in bed with his box in my hand. I need to open it, but do I dare? Once I do, it’s official. Mustering all the strength left in my body, I tear away at the paper. There is a note inside the box.

Eve, I want you to have this. It will catch your nightmares and help you to the other side.

Preston

It’s a tiny gold dream catcher necklace, and with all that I have left, I fall to pieces on my bed. Sometime later, I hear a knock on my door, but I don’t answer.

“Eve?” Silence. “Sweetie?” Sydney pops her head in through the crack of the door. I don’t bother to answer or even move from where I’m submerged under the heavy blanket. “Are you okay?” When I still don’t answer, the door creaks and her feet pad against the floor. The bed dips as she sits at the foot. “You’re worrying me. You’ve been in here since you came back from your trip. Do you want to talk about it?”

I lift the blanket and look into her deep brown eyes. “Not much to tell,” I say under my breath and I hope she takes the hint . . . I don’t want to tell.

Sometimes the most amazing moments are the ones we can’t talk about.

That’s how it felt every time Preston was near. 

His proximity alone lit me on fire, and I won’t tell her that. I want to keep the memory to myself. I don’t want to share it with anyone.

“I can’t help you if I don’t know what happened.”

“Nothing happened, Syd. It was amazing. It was perfect. It was the best two days of my life. But that’s all it was. That’s all it will ever be—two days. Two fucking days is all I get.” Anger and sadness bleed from my words. “Want to know how I am? I’m a mess.”

“You’re not a mess.”

“I promise you, I am.” Her eyes meet mine and the air is tense. I plaster on a fake smile and gleam up at her.

“This isn’t like you. Sure, you’ve had a tough go the last couple of months, but normally you’re the strongest person I know. Even after Richard, you managed to land one of the largest accounts the firm has ever seen. That’s not a small feat. If you can do that, you can get through a little breakup.”

“It’s not even a breakup.” I pout.

“It is.”

“How can we call it a breakup when he was never mine to break up from?”

“A break then. After the shit you’ve been through, you’ll get through this break.

“I know you’re right. I just wonder how much a person can take. Like my mom. What was the final straw for her?”

“Have you ever thought to ask her?” I narrow my eyes at Sydney.

“Every day. Every time I’m there I try to ask her questions but she’s too sick to answer anything. To be honest, I don’t even think she realizes her behavior isn’t normal.”

“Maybe she needs a therapist. Know anyone?” she jokes and I shoot her the look of death. “Too soon?”

I grimace at her. “Yeah. I think so.” She gives me big puppy dog eyes and I can’t help but laugh. “Okay, I’m going to hop in the shower. Do you want to go out for dinner or order in?”

“I say we get Chinese and get drunk off food. A little MSG will make you feel better.”

“Syd, I’m pretty sure that statement is actually reversed. I think they have banned MSG for being really bad for you.”

“Tomato, tomaaatoe.” I snort at that and she giggles.

Once dressed after my shower, I follow the smell of Chinese permeating the air. It leads me to the living room, where little white cartons are sitting on the coffee table.

“Wine?,” Sydney screams through the walls of the kitchen.

“Sure.” A few minutes later she comes out with two glasses filled to the rim with Pinot Grigio. I hope and pray this night with her will help drown my misery. Somehow I doubt anything will, but I smile anyway and try to forget.