Quinn

Listening to the ringtone while I sat in the limo, heart pounding, I waited for Felicity to answer. The fresh air, and leaving the loud music of the club helped sober me up. I felt relaxed, and really good. But I no longer felt I was so high that I needed to crawl in a ball up against a wall. The edge was gone, and for that I was grateful.

“Hello?”

“Felicity?”

“Quinn, I’ve been looking for you. Where are you? Are you okay?”

“I’m with Axel. I couldn’t find you, so I decided to get a ride home with him. Are you on your way home?”

“No, I met a friend and we’re going to go to another club. Do you need me to come get you? Do you want to come?” Felicity asked.

“No, I’ll have Axel take me home.”

“I can’t believe you are with Axel Rye! You’re living the dream, girl.”

Her words made my heart beat even harder. I bit my lip.

I decided to ignore the comment. “I’ll see you when you get home. Be safe.”

“Is he right there next to you?” Felicity whispered, as if Axel might hear her.

I giggled. “You have fun tonight.”

“You have to hook up with him! And I want to hear all about it.”

I laughed nervously, my face suddenly warm. “Felicity!” I whispered. “I’ll be fine. Bye.”

“Let loose! Give it a shot; you might surprise yourself.” Yeah, the last time I listened to her and let loose, my body felt it was going to melt while I watched a man perform acts I never knew possible.

My pulse sped up. Felicity didn’t help my already strained nerves. “I gotta go. Have a good night.” I hung up the phone, trying not to notice Axel watching me.

After dropping everyone off, Axel turned to me and smiled. That smile. It was unlike anything I had seen. It was soft, sensual, and alluring. I shifted in my seat, trying not to appear anxious, but I found it nearly impossible to control my nervous energy. Why was I having such a hard time breathing now?

“Are you hungry?” Axel asked.

I let out the breath I was holding and nodded.

“Good, because I’m starving.” He leaned forward to the driver and muttered some instructions.

We picked up some food at a small coffee shop and headed to the beach, eating along the way in the back seat. I hadn’t realized how hungry I truly was until I bit into my sandwich. Everything about the meal and the company was perfect. Axel had a way of making me feel warm, comforted, and relaxed. I ate more than I would normally and talked more about myself than I would ever do. I guarded my past, my present, and my future. I opened up to very few, and had found it was easier that way. It wasn’t like I had anything exciting to really open up about. My insecurities always had me thinking before that people were judging me for being so boring. I did, however, open up slightly to Axel. I felt comfortable enough to discuss my likes and dislikes. I had told him my favorite color, my favorite food, what music I liked, what movie last made me cry. It must have been that little pink pill, but I was talking a mile a minute.

I took the last bite of my sandwich and leaned back against the leather of the limo seat. “I’m so full, I could explode!”

Axel smiled warmly. “From the looks of it, you could add a few pounds to that frame of yours.”

I blushed. “Yeah, I tend to skip meals. I get caught up in work and forget, I guess. I lose track of time.” When I’d write, hours would fly by.

Axel raised an eyebrow. “Bartending?”

Crap! I had almost given away that I was a writer.

I just shrugged casually. “I needed the sandwich. I feel so much better. My brain seems to be coming back.”

“What exactly did you take?”

I knew I was blushing. I shouldn’t feel weird for doing drugs. Axel was a drug dealer for Christ’s sake, but I totally felt like he would judge me. “I don’t know. It was pink.”

“A pink pill?”

“Yes.”

“You just took a pink pill and didn’t know what it was?” His eyes darkened, and he didn’t look as jovial as he had been before.

“Felicity gave it to me.” I shrugged. “I trust her.”

He nodded slowly and his expression seemed to soften. “Well you need to be careful with that shit. I didn’t sell it to her, so who knows where she got it. It could be dirty.”

I laughed. “As opposed to clean drugs? Are there such things? If she would have bought the pink pill from you, would it then be good for me?”

He stopped for a moment and then let out a deep and hearty laugh. “Good point. Fine. Drugs are bad, little girl. Stay away!”

We laughed until a silent calm washed over us as we both just looked at each other. Axel’s eyes were soft and gentle. He casually had one arm slung over the back of the seat, giving off a sense of comfort and a perception of ease. I realized we were both staring at each other, and I began to grow uneasy.

“So where are we going?” I asked to change up the mood.

Axel took a moment to continue to stare. “To one of my favorite places in the city. Believe it or not, the clubs are my least favorite part.”

“What do you mean?”

“They aren’t me.”

I almost laughed. “You do realize you are Axel Rye, right? Your name alone represents these clubs.”

Axel frowned. “I know, and I hate that.”

I smiled softly and straightened my back. “Then why do you do it?”

Axel’s face grew serious. “That’s a good question. I guess I’m searching.”

I took a deep breath to attempt to soothe my nerves. “Searching?”

Axel reached across the seat and lightly grabbed my hand. He didn’t say anything, but his soft touch made me feel calm and relaxed again. He gave a gentle squeeze before pulling his hand away.

Axel and I sat in silence again. I noticed how easy it was for both of us to sit and be content in each other’s company. We both could stare into each other’s eyes, taking the time to observe. I liked how Axel’s eyes would light up when he smiled. I liked how he was confident enough not to look away. I liked how he had a way of holding my stare, demanding my eyes stay connected with his. I liked… well, I liked Axel.

“So, tell me something about you. I feel you have the upper hand because you know so much about me. I feel like I haven’t stopped talking this whole drive.” This was my chance to start building my story.

“I have no secrets. What would you like to ask?”

“I can ask anything?”

Axel smiled. “Yes, you can ask anything.”

I took a moment to think of a good question. I wasn’t sure if I would get this opportunity to ask anything of my liking again. I also wanted to be careful not to come across as a reporter or something.

“Okay, so why is a good-looking man, like you, not in a serious relationship?” I blushed at how forward I sounded but continued. “You have to give me honesty, nothing simple or general.”

Axel smirked. “So saying I haven’t met the right woman is considered general?”

“Yes.”

Axel took a moment to just stare into my eyes. His eyes narrowed a bit and his jaw tightened. “I’m darker than most.”

I shook my head. “No, that was way too simple of an answer. And cliché. Of course the famous Axel Rye who sells drugs for a living is darker than most.”

“I live in a world not cut out for the average person.”

I shook my head again. “Nope, that was too general.”

“I’m fucked up.”

I pouted out my lip. “You can’t just give broad, elusive answers. Not fair!”

Axel chuckled. “Okay, okay. You are pretty damn cute when you pout.” He took a deep breath and repositioned his body against the back seat. “Well, I think it is no secret I sell drugs. Actually, it’s more than that. I am known for selling drugs. I used to just be the rich kid of Jamison Rye, but I made a name for myself.” He paused and studied me intently for a moment before huffing with a smirk. “Some name.”

“Why?” I asked in a soft voice. I wanted to know for more than just my book. “What made you decide to start selling drugs?”

Axel thought for a moment. “I’m not sure how it happened really. I was a cocky kid with unlimited money, and power. For a teenager, being allowed in any club just because my last name was Rye was pretty cool. I hung with rock stars, actors, models, you name it. It started with me just providing my friends with drugs, and then I had the hook up.” He paused as if thinking. “It just sort of happened. Before I knew it, I was making major money and was in demand at every single club in LA.”

“And then you got arrested?” I asked, careful not to have any judgment in my voice.

“Yeah. I’m assuming you are talking about the latest stint. I got arrested many times before. But it was always a slap on the wrist or Daddy used his money and lawyers to get me off. But this last one was pretty scary. They were talking about serious jail time. Lucky for me, I had an excellent team of lawyers.”

“Why do you still do it? Aren’t you scared of getting caught and going to jail again?” I asked.

Axel shook his head. “No. The District Attorney ended up looking like a fool. And let’s just say that my lawyers, private investigators and fixers were able to dig up enough dirt on people to forever keep me out of jail.” He chuckled. “The sex scandals, the drugs, the dark side of people who are supposed to be the good guys is pretty fucked up. It’s like fucking mafia shit I’m talking about. And I can’t tell you how many people have bought from me. Needless to say, I’m off limits unless some powerful people want to go down with me.” He shrugged and looked disappointed. “I’m not proud that Daddy’s money bailed me out. Hell, I’m not proud that my fucking legacy is a bad boy drug dealer either. But it is what it is.”

I looked at Axel skeptically. “You say that like you are trapped. Like you don’t have a choice in the matter.”

“What else am I going to do with my life? I dropped out of high school, and actually have no skills. I know one thing and that is the nightlife. I am a professional partier. How’s that for a fucked up resume?”

“Are you happy?”

He shook his head. “No, I’m over this shit. But like I said, what else is there? This is literally all I know. But I do like my friends, and it could be a hell of a lot worse. I could be working some blue-collar job I hate just as much, and be struggling every month just to pay the bills. I have a pretty good gig. I get paid a lot of money to party, pass out party favors, and make a trendy spot to appear even hotter. Many people would be grateful to be in my shoes, and I have to remind myself of that. This is who I am. I own it.”

I just sat and stared at Axel while he spoke. He had such passion and conviction in his voice. He seemed so centered and focused. Everything about Axel screamed strength and stability. I had never heard someone be so open in admitting they sell drugs for a living. I had read articles about his court appearance and his history, but the information seemed so shallow compared to actually hearing it from Axel. I wasn’t appalled or shocked. I didn’t think he was a bad man, or criminal. I respected him for his ability to be honest and straightforward. Now, I had to figure out how to make my readers feel the same way. I had to capture this side of Axel Rye for the book, or I would be doing everyone a disservice.

Axel stopped and stared at me. He furrowed his eyebrows and sat up straight against the seat. “What are you thinking?”

I smiled and cleared my throat. “I think you live an interesting life. I like that you aren’t ashamed of it, and you wear who you are on full display. I admire that.” Did I? Or was I saying it for the sake of my undercover mission? This all would make a great book.

Axel looked shocked. He leaned forward and asked, “You do? You don’t think I should be locked up for breaking the law every single night?”

“Nope, it’s who you are. You aren’t forcing anyone to buy and take the drugs.” I blushed and shyly said, “Honestly, I’ve never taken drugs in my life until tonight.”

Axel paused and looked slightly uncomfortable for the first time since I had met him. He fidgeted in his seat for a few moments before taking a deep breath to control his demeanor again. I watched in curiosity at his reaction.

“I know this is going to sound hypocritical, but I really hope you stay away from the drugs,” Axel confessed. “It’s dangerous. I have seen so many people become addicted and ruin their lives. I guess you could say that I ruined their lives.”

“Well you don’t have to worry about me. I’m just having a little fun and relaxing a bit. I’ve always been so straight laced. I like letting loose around you. Maybe you are making me into a bad girl.” I giggled and blushed the minute the words left my mouth. I was flirting, and I couldn’t help it.

Axel smiled so big that wrinkles formed around the corners of his eyes and a slight dimple took shape in his cheek. “So you are a bad, bad girl heh?”

“Yes, yes, I think I am.” I continued to flirt. “But you are a bad, bad, boy.”

For a moment, Axel and I stared deep into each other’s eyes again. I searched for some further explanation. I searched for some clarity as to why I felt so incredibly turned on by what he just confessed to. He was a bad boy drug dealer and I liked it. He sat on the wrong side of the law like an outlaw in some old western. It pulled me in.

He sat on the other side of the limo refusing to break the stare. Feeling uncomfortable and a bit insecure at his intensity, I broke the stare first. I looked down at my hands and felt his glare burn my already red-hot skin.

Taking a moment before looking back into Axel’s eyes, I asked, “So you have more money than you know what to do with, girls hanging on your every move, and are the son of rock star. Oh, and you just happen to sell drugs to every cool kid in town.”

He laughed. “You just described me to a T. Quite the catch right? Women are just lining up to settle down and be in a long term relationship with me. Nothing says stability and retirement like marrying a drug dealer. I haven’t found someone who wants the same things: drugs, booze, flocks of groupies, media attention, legal issues, and vampire hours.”

“I find it hard to believe that with the crowd you hang out with you haven’t met a woman who wants the same, or at least gets you.”

Axel frowned. “Groupies. That’s all they are. They either want the fame, the free access to everywhere cool in town, or the free drugs. In most cases they want all of it.” Axel paused and looked directly into my eyes. “That’s definitely not what I want.” He let out a big sigh. “So did I do my part on the sharing game? Did I answer all your questions?”

I nodded as his stare sent a chill down my spine. “Yes, you did. Thank you.”

“Thank you for asking. No one has cared enough to ask.”

After driving up a winding street to the top of a hill, the limo turned into a dead end and parked. The moon was bright, and the ocean went on as far as I could see. The view of the boats floating in the distance stole my breath.

I stared out the window in amazement. This was the first time I’d gotten to really take in the city I now lived in.

Axel reached for my hand and opened the door. “Follow me.” He got out of the limo, gently assisting me to do the same.

I kept my hand in Axel’s as we walked to a stone wall. I could see the waves crashing onto the rocks below. We walked a little further to a space with benches and a grassy sitting area with flowers planted in brick flower beds. I took it all in with awe. I turned back to Axel.

“It’s beautiful,” I whispered.

“This is my favorite place.”

“I can see why. It’s nice to see this side of LA. All I’ve seen really are the bar and clubs.” I stepped closer to the wall and gazed out into the black ocean. The lights on a couple of ships and some small boats shined brightly against the blackness of the water. It had rained earlier, so the ground was still wet, but the sky had mostly cleared. Axel walked up behind me and placed his hands on top of the water-soaked stone, enclosing my body between his arms. His body heat against my back warmed my skin, contrasting to the nippy weather outside. Axel rested his chin on my shoulder next to my ear, taking a deep breath. Every move he made exuded confidence. He never hesitated or seemed unsure. I closed my eyes as my body tingled all over. Taking my own deep breath, I tried to quiet my escalating nerves. I found it unbelievable that I was here, doing this, with Axel… a man I felt as if I already knew.

“I love the way you smell,” Axel murmured, his breath hot against my neck.

“Thank you.” They were the only words I could squeak out.

We stood there for a few minutes in silence, his breath searing against my soul. Finally, he spoke. “Can I ask you something?”

The question and the intensity of the situation made me nervous. “Yes.”

Axel tightened his arms around my body more.

“Why do you seem so anxious around me? Do I make you uncomfortable?”

I went stiff. I thought I had been doing so well keeping my emotions hidden. “I’m just not the best in new situations. I can be shy, I guess.” Even my explanation seemed anxious. I was making it worse.

Axel placed his hands over my shaking ones on the wall. “There’s something about you that I really like, Quinn. Am I crazy, or do you feel the connection, too?”

I squeezed my eyes shut for a second. Shit, I’m in this for the story. I didn’t want to tell Axel that. I didn’t want Axel to know. He would assume I was using him for a paycheck. And the reality was, that I was! His story was gold and my sure ticket to getting a publishing deal. I knew this. I had to stay focused, but my heart and body were at war with my mind.

“I’m not sure what I’m feeling.” I felt confused. I had never been interested in a man like him. I liked normal. I liked safe. I liked everything opposite of Axel Rye. But for some reason I stood there in Axel’s arms, not stopping it.

“I want to see where this takes us.”

I braced myself, not knowing how he would feel about me after I confessed why I was really in LA, and why I was really trying to get close to him. Was I leading him on? Had I made Axel believe I was interested? The bigger question being… was I interested in Axel?

I turned around, but he never let go of the wall, keeping me encircled in his hold. His eyes seemed darker somehow, sultry. He looked straight at me, waiting.

“What do you mean?” My heart pounded. Overwhelming confusion clouded my brain.

“Are you seeing anyone?” His eyes remained fixed on mine.

I shook my head. “No.”

“Good.” Axel smiled. “Then you’re free.”

My eyebrows shot up. “Free for what?” I could feel something; an intensity I’d never felt before from anyone. He stood so close to me, I could feel every breath he took.

“To explore this connection.” He dropped his hands from the stone, and placed them around my waist. With my heart pounding against my chest, I swallowed hard, wondering if Axel could see how he affected me.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked in a soft whisper.

I nodded, unable to say a word. Axel didn’t hesitate and gently placed his lips against mine. They were soft and warm, softer than any kiss I had ever had. Axel explored my mouth slowly, with the most delicate touch. He tightened his grasp around my waist with one arm, and brought his other hand up to caress my cheek. With a velvet stroke, Axel’s hand wrapped around my neck, pulling the kiss even deeper.

With Axel’s body pressed strong against mine, I was surprised to feel his broad chest up against my own. His tongue moved faster, with more passion, and with more need. I had never kissed liked this before. This kiss was new, exciting, tantalizing, and burned to my inner core. Never had I kissed with so much passion and sensuality. Never had I longed to explore beyond the kiss so much. Never had I imagined a kiss could pull out such strong emotions.

It was too much. The passion grew, the breathing turned to pants, gasps turned to moans, and I panicked. I pulled away, burying my face into Axel’s hair.

Caressing my back, Axel took a moment to soothe me before backing away slowly. He looked deep into my eyes. “Let’s go sit down.”

We walked over to a wooden bench underneath a huge tree. We both sat, turning so we faced each other.

Axel stared at me and smiled, highlighting the sexy scar near his lip. “You really are pretty, you know that?” He leaned forward and placed a very soft peck on my lips. “So, you said you’re from San Francisco. Why did you decide to move here?”

I straightened up a little, suddenly feeling on edge. Talking about reality was popping the wonderful fairy-tale bubble I had been in. I didn’t want the moment to end. “I haven’t exactly moved here. It’s just temporary.”

“Why is it only temporary?”

I shrugged. “Just staying for a while to figure out my future… I guess.” I glanced at Axel, hoping we could move on to another subject. I wanted the bubble back.

“How long do you plan on staying?”

I looked out into the night sea and just shrugged again. “I’m not sure. Just playing it by ear.”

Axel was silent for a moment. He examined me, eyes full of questions.

“Is there anyone back home to return to?” he asked.

“My sister died not that long ago, and that left me with a pretty broken family. My sister and I were raised by our parents who were only children, so I’ve always had a really small family. Now, other than my parents who are sort of dealing with their dark crap, I just have some acquaintances and my really close friend Harrison. He’s the closest thing I have to a normal family right now. He’s been in my life for a long time. But we’ve never been anything more than friends, as crazy as that might sound. People find it hard to believe men and women can just be friends. It also helps that he’s gay.”

I noticed how intently Axel watched me when I spoke, as if he didn’t want to miss a single word.

“I don’t think it sounds crazy at all. I have women friends. Friendship doesn’t always have to involve sexuality.” Axel looked at me thoughtfully and put his arm around my waist. “Well, until you leave, I’d still like to explore this connection we have. That kiss only confirmed my feelings that you and I may have something.”

I stared at him, speechless.

Axel smiled. “Let’s not think of the future and you leaving anymore. Let’s focus on right now.”

His lips were on mine again. I allowed myself to close my eyes and just take in the moment. I allowed the feelings of passion, desire, and need to rock my body. I didn’t fight the emotions with any doubt or confusion. I allowed the kiss to be just that. An amazing, affectionate, and life-altering kiss.