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Best of 2017 by Alexa Riley, A. Zavarelli, Celia Aaron, Jenika Snow, Isabella Starling, Jade West, Alta Hensley, Ava Harrison, K. Webster (239)

Chapter Twenty-Three

Violet

I stare down at my phone in confusion.

Be brave?

Gray’s cryptic words send alarm shooting through me. With him, I forget to always be aware of my surroundings. I’ve felt protected from Vaughn, even if Gray was stalking me like a creep.

A sexy creep.

Oh my God, I have issues.

“So, anyway, Dr. Ward thinks I should take on the task with a friend or family member. Gray has always offered to help when I was ready, but I’d kind of like it to be you,” Gwen says as she pokes at her eggs. “I mean, if you want to.”

I look up at her and smile. “I’d love to help you. You know that.”

“I know you think I’m disgusting,” she murmurs, tears shining in her eyes. “It just got out of hand.”

I reach across the table and grab her hand. “Together we can work through it. I love to clean and organize things. When I had a peek, I saw some useful salvageable things. I bet you’d be able to donate a lot of stuff to those in need.”

Her lips quirk up on one side. “I think I’d like that. Dr. Ward says I need to connect with people, not things. She thinks I should ask some local churches to see if they would help us clear out the trash.”

“I think that’s a great idea,” I tell her gently. “And just think, once you get your rooms cleared out, maybe you could help your mom with her house.”

Gwen sniffles and pulls her hand away from mine to swipe away a tear. “Gray said once the house gets cleaned back out, we can bring Mom back home. That we can hire a nurse to look after her. And with him being serious with you…” she trails off. “I thought I could move back in to take care of her.”

“I think she’d like that,” I assure her. “Then maybe we could fix it up. Redecorate and make it look nice.”

She nods. “Do you think Dad would come back home then?” Her eyes soften and she regards me with such an innocent look it makes my heart hurt. All I can think about is the way he forced Gray to eat his pet. The anger swells up inside me but I don’t let her see. Apparently she was too young to know what an asshole her father was to her brother.

“Maybe,” I say to placate her.

She starts babbling on about one of the paintings she’s working on. I nod and engage but my gaze keeps darting out the window.

Be brave.

Everything Gray does and says has a reason. Everything he does revolves around me.

Gwen continues to ramble. My eyes keep roaming the street outside when they land on something that makes my blood run cold. Across the street, a man leans against a sleek vehicle. He’s wearing a baseball cap and his head is lowered, hiding his face, but something in his stance is familiar. His body is larger and more filled out—as if he’s spent six years straight working out.

I know exactly how he found me too.

The newspaper article. My promotion was splashed all over one of the biggest newspapers in the country. Plain as day, he was told where I worked. All it would take is one phone call. I’d let the receptionist know earlier this morning that I was having brunch with Gwen at the best waffle house in the city. Our receptionist babbles a lot and probably mentioned this. So many careless moments led to this.

When he lifts his head and I lock eyes with familiar evil ones I know, I realize I have to get the hell out of here. Away from Gwen. Vaughn would destroy her like he once destroyed me.

“Gwen, sweetie,” I say, jerking my eyes back to hers. “I need to leave. You have to stay here for me. Okay?”

Her nose scrunches in confusion. “Why? What’s wrong? You’re white as a ghost.”

“Tell Gray I need him.”

“Violet,” she whines. “You’re scaring me.”

My eyes dart out the window and I see Vaughn stalking across the street with a purposeful look in his eyes. “Just promise you’ll call him right after I leave and make him find me.” I shove my phone down into my bra and shakily hand her my purse. “Keep this for me, please.”

I don’t wait for an answer. I bolt out of the restaurant, shoving past people along the way. The moment I step outside and the warm breeze whips around me, I’m chilled by a voice.

“Letty Spaghetti,” he chides. “You know I hate Hide and Seek.”

Terror claws its way up my throat, but I don’t fight him when he grips my elbow. Willingly, I walk with him across the street. He opens up the passenger door and closes it behind me once I’m seated. My gaze flits across the street and I’m thankful to see Gwen staying on her side of the road with her phone pressed against her ear. Vaughn slides into the driver’s seat and wastes no time peeling out into the busy traffic.

The silence is deafening.

I’m too afraid to look at him or speak to him. When I finally chance a peek, he’s gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles are white. His jaw is hard and his thick neck muscles keep ticking.

This is bad.

This is so bad.

I suck in a frantic breath but will myself to calm down. I need to think and plan. He doesn’t know I have my phone yet, so if my stalker boyfriend is tracking me—which I have no doubt he is—then maybe he’ll find me.

“I’ve looked for you for a long time,” he tells me, his voice every bit as cold as I remember. “Your style has changed since I saw you last.” His gaze roams up my bare legs as he takes in my sleek pencil skirt and bright pink cashmere button-down blouse. “You look like a damn naughty librarian.”

I look down into my lap but don’t speak. I’m too afraid of setting him off. He’s calm right now but I know his monster will rear its ugly head sooner than I’d like.

“You know,” he grits out. “I was so fucking pissed when I found out you bailed on me that night. I mean, I get it. I shouldn’t have lent you to that asshole. But, angel,” he says as his strong hand rests on my thigh. “I killed him for you. You should have seen me as a hero.”

My body begins to tremble and as a physiological response to this monster, my leg begins to go numb where he touches me. At one time, I was able to numb everything. Even my mind.

“You were always quiet, Letty Spaghetti, but never this quiet. What’s got a grip on your throat?” he growls. “I know it sure as hell ain’t me. But it will be soon.”

My phone buzzes against my breast, and I pray he doesn’t hear it. Of course my prayers fall on deaf ears because he most definitely hears. With a rough yank, he grabs the material of my shirt and pulls it until the buttons ping off. Then, he snags my phone from my bra. I’m not at all surprised when he tosses it out of the window.

“Your tits look just as nice as I remember,” he praises as he cups my breast over my bra. “I bet your pussy is every bit as perfect too.”

I close my eyes and try to block out his touches. He squeezes my breast so hard that I yelp, popping my eyes back open.

“Your mom says hi,” he tells me with a harsh laugh as he tugs the front of my bra down. His fingers dive beneath the fabric where he pinches my nipple.

“Leave my mom out of this,” I hiss, tears welling in my eyes.

He snorts. “She speaks! She fucking speaks!”

“Please, Vaughn.”

He yanks at my bra until I’m halfway over the console and nearly into his lap as he continues to drive. “I love it when you beg.”

I try to wriggle away from him, but he twists his wrist and my bra tightens around me, causing my ribs to scream in pain. Just when I don’t think I can take much more of it, the clasp in the back breaks and frees me.

“Sit down and enjoy the ride,” he grumbles before shoving me back over into my seat. My bra hangs loose around my breasts. “Give me your shirt and bra.”

Remembering all too well what it means for me to ignore or fight off Vaughn, I immediately jolt into action. Maybe if someone sees me half naked on the highway, they’ll call the cops. One can hope. With shaking hands, I slowly remove my shirt and broken bra. Once he has these in his grip, he tosses them out the window as well.

“What are those?” he bellows, his fiery gaze on my bare tits.

I drop my eyes down to all the hickeys Gray marked me with. The warm memory surges through me causing my nipples to harden in response. After all the hell we went through last night, we still ended up all but fused together.

Gray might be a creepy-ass stalker but I feel safe with him. He doesn’t hurt me. If anything, he loves me when he shouldn’t. I’d been hurt and horrified but I couldn’t push him away. My mind and heart were at odds but my heart won. I’m obsessed with him too. He fills voids in me that I didn’t know were empty. Gray breathes himself into every pore. He takes up space in every part of my being.

“You still whoring it out?” he demands and hits his fist on the steering wheel.

I don’t want to set him off by telling him my boyfriend gave them to me. But I can’t help but jab at him. “I learned from the best.”

His hand flies across the car so fast, I don’t even see it coming. Hard knuckles crack across my cheekbone, causing millions of stars to explode in front of me. My head lolls to the side as I fight for consciousness after the blow to the face.

“I see you’ve turned into a little bitch while you were hiding too,” he snarls. “Time to knock you down a few pegs.”

Something sharp jabs into my leg jolting me awake. I stare down in horror at the syringe sticking out of my thigh.

“What did you just do?” I choke out.

He shrugs but his body relaxes. “I’ve gotten a lot better at keeping my girls compliant, that’s for damn sure. Sleep, Letty. You’ll see Mommy soon.”

Darkness clouds around me as a million thoughts swim in my head. He said girls. As in more than me. I always knew deep down it wasn’t going to just be me.

And then I think of my mother.

I’m going to get to see her.

* * *

I come to as I’m carried into my old childhood home. Even though I’m groggy and confused, the familiar smells of home permeate my senses and warm my heart. My God, I’ve missed this house and my mother. Tears roll out on their own accord. I drag my heavy lids up so I can stare at Vaughn. He’s no longer wearing the ball cap and longish blond hair hangs in his eyes. At one time, I thought he was so handsome.

Now, I’m scared shitless of him.

“W-Where’s my mom?” I croak out.

He smiles at me. I hate his wolfish grins. They’re meant to intimidate me and they always work. “She’s sleeping in her room. You’ll see her later when she wakes up. For now, we have some catching up to do.”

A sob is lodged in my throat. Each of my limbs feels as though they’re weightless. Whatever he gave me makes it so that I can’t feel much. In a way, that’s a blessing. When he hurts me, I won’t feel it.

When we reach my old bedroom, I start to cry harder. Momma left everything just as it was when I ran off with Vaughn. My heart shatters into a million pieces. I should have never gone anywhere with him. I walked right into a nightmare.

He lies me down on the bed and then looms over me. I attempt to move my arms and legs, but they feel like they’re not attached to my body. So when he unzips the side of my skirt and starts yanking it down, I can’t do anything but stare at him. He pulls it away, along with my panties. My shoes have long since disappeared. I’m naked and at his mercy. Just like all those years ago.

Gray, I’m trying so hard to be brave

Another tear sneaks out when he palms my thigh. His fingers walk up my flesh slowly until he reaches my sex. He slaps it hard and thankfully I don’t feel it. “This isn’t yours to just give away, Letty Spaghetti.”

“I d-didn’t g-give it away,” I whisper.

“So you traded it for something?” he questions, a blond brow raised in question.

“I’m n-n-not for sale or for b-barter.”

He laughs. The dark, sinister sound of it creeps its way through me and settles in my bones. “It belongs to me. I can do whatever the fuck I want with it. If I want to trade it or your goddamned ass for some meth, I’ll fucking do it. Understand me?”

When he peels off his shirt, I close my eyes so I don’t have to see my name tattooed on his chest. I don’t want to see any part of him. My thoughts drift to Gray. I’d been so crushed finding him under my bed. Everything we’d created together in such a short time felt like it was a fraud. I had every intention of shoving him out of my life for good.

But he consumed me.

Plowed right through my heart like he always seems to do.

Made love to me on the floor of my bedroom and had me forgiving him so easily.

Looking back, I was too harsh on him. Gray is nothing like Vaughn. Crazy, yes. Overwhelming, definitely. Obsessed, you bet.

But evil?

Never.

Strong fingers bite into my jaw and I jerk my eyes open. Vaughn is naked and his cock is hard with a rubber wrapped around it bobbing between us. Thank God I won’t feel this.

“You’re going to come back home to me, Letty,” he tells me as he releases my jaw to grab hold of his cock.

I glare at him. “No.”

Fury flares in his eyes. “You remember the first time you told me no?”

And just like that, I’m launched into a past that is worse than the present.

* * *

“I’m not ready,” I tell my new boyfriend. Momma always lectures me on how guys only want sex. That you’re supposed to not give it to them because they’ll just leave you once they get what they want. I like Vaughn. I don’t want him to leave me.

“Please,” he begs, his teeth nibbling at my lower lip. He finger fucks me inside my panties under my dress. It feels good—too good.

“I like what we’re doing,” I moan. “Just this.”

He trails kisses down to my throat. When he bites down on my flesh, I cry out. “I want more. Pull my cock out.”

His words warm me. I reach over and desperately tug at his jeans. Once his impressive cock is freed, I stroke it like I’ve done many times.

“Come sit on it,” he murmurs, his finger sliding harshly in and out of me.

“Vaughn,” I whimper. “No sex.”

He yanks his finger from me. “Why the fuck not?”

“Because. I’m not ready.”

“Well, I’m beyond ready,” he grits out, his hand striking at me like a snake. I’m shocked when he grips my throat. His grip is so tight that I abandon touching him to try and claw at his wrist so he’ll stop choking me. I’m stunned at his aggressive behavior. He’s always been so good to me.

His grip tightens as he pushes me down on his sofa. All of my focus is on the fact that he’s cutting off my air supply. I slap at his face to get him to stop. Blackness eats at the edge of my vision. My world tilts and spins.

And then explosive pain.

I black out completely as my mind shuts down.

He’s inside me.

That’s my only thought as I begin to lose consciousness.

I’m roused by a slap to the face. He’s no longer choking me but he’s very much fucking me. The pain is intense but I don’t know what to do. I’m at his mercy. This man—whom I was falling fast and hard for—is raping me.

He starts kissing me but I’m limp. I can’t participate. I’ve crawled so deep inside myself that I’m just a shell. That is until he reaches between us. His finger starts massaging my clit in a way that has confusing thoughts rippling through me. Zings of pleasure dart through me despite my tears that won’t stop rolling out. What were tiny zaps soon turn into full-on ripples of bliss.

I’m enjoying this.

It feels good.

A self-loathing begins to fester inside me.

Who enjoys being raped?

This time, when he kisses me, I find myself kissing him back. I’m losing myself inside of him. This world of his. His darkness.

“There she is,” he purrs. “So beautiful. You belong to me now, babe.”

His words seem to tip me over the edge. I’m spiraling out of control. The pleasure he’s giving me outweighs the bad, and I greedily accept it. I moan and beg like a whore.

No more begging him not to.

All that comes out of my mouth is, “Don’t stop.”

Don’t stop.

Tears of shame leak from my eyes as I selfishly latch onto my orgasm. I ride the waves of pleasure with his name a scream on my lips. And before I’m even off my high, he slides out and comes all over my belly.

“I knew you’d love it,” he says in a playful tone that used to be sexy. Now it makes my blood run cold.

“Y-You shouldn’t have done that,” I murmur. “That was rape.”

He strokes my hair from my sweaty forehead and frowns. “When you come like that and beg for it, it’s not rape. Sorry to burst your bubble, sweetheart.”

Confusion washes over me.

I did like it toward the end.

I orgasmed.

Oh.”

“Time to take you home,” he snaps. “I won’t be accused of being a fucking rapist.”

Tears well in my eyes, and I shake my head. Maybe I am being crazy. “I want to stay with you,” I tell him boldly despite the quiver in my voice.

His jaws clench. “Don’t ever fucking tell me no again.”

* * *

I’m jerked from my memory when I hear a pop.

Vaughn, who still looms over me, ready to take what he thinks belongs to him, widens his eyes in confusion. The moment we hear another pop, he’s leaping off the bed and jerking on clothes.

“What have you done?” he snarls. His glare is vicious enough that I almost feel bruised by it.

Be brave, Violet.

Be brave.

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