Chapter Eleven
Trent
You’re perfect. I ran the words through my head a million times as I slowly made my way to the door. I knew he was just referring to the way I looked after he wiped off my running makeup, but the words somehow penetrated my soul and warmed me up from the inside out. You’re perfect. No one had ever said anything like that to me, let alone a guy as gorgeous and sweet as Declan Parnell.
When I found myself standing in front of the door and there was another knock, I took a deep breath and opened it to reveal a nervous-looking Evan. The kid I never thought I’d see again, the kid that had run away and left me worried sick, the kid that I thought had been lost in a gutter somewhere. The kid that I’d missed for three long years.
“Hey, Evan,” I said quietly.
He smiled widely at me, then walked in and engulfed me in a hug. After a split second, I hugged him back and found myself fighting back tears. Fuck. I really hadn’t thought I’d ever see him again. “You’re really here,” I whispered.
Evan nodded against my shoulder and gave me a tight squeeze before pulling away and looking at me. “You look good, Trent,” he said with a bounce of his knees. Evan was always bouncing or twitching. It was like he had so much energy bundled up inside himself that he couldn’t contain it all.
I smiled. “So do you, ER.” And he did. Maybe a little on the skinny side, but he’d always been skinny. His hair was a little darker than mine, but still in the blond range, and his grayish-blue eyes were shining with emotion. But he looked good. And he was here.
Evan shook his head at my use of his childhood nickname, then he smirked a little before his attention was drawn over my shoulder. I moved over and pointed to Dec. “ER, this is Declan. Dec, this is my brother, Evan.”
Evan turned sharply to me and looked at me in surprise. I just smiled at him. He was my foster brother, and growing up, I’d always made it a point of saying foster brother because I’d been an asshole as a teen. I was still a jerk, but calling him my brother felt like the right thing to do. He was the only person that ever felt like family to me after my parents died.
Declan held out his hand and Evan shook it as Dec said, “It’s nice to meet you.”
“You, too.”
Dec looked at me and asked, “Did you just call him ER?”
Evan groaned and I chuckled as I said, “Yep.”
“Do I want to know why?”
“No, you really don’t,” Evan said at the same time as I said, “Definitely.”
I laughed and pushed Evan into the apartment a little. “When ER was, like, thirteen, he fell into the coffee table and cut his forehead.” I reached over and poked Evan in his scar, and he smacked my hand away as he bounced his knees. “I went with him and our foster mother to the emergency room, and I got a look at his chart. His middle name is Richard, and I thought it was funny that we were in the ER when his first two initials are ER. And he hated it.”
“So naturally, Trent started calling me ER just to piss me off.”
Dec grinned. “That sounds like him.”
“Watch it or I’ll come up with something worse than ‘Cupcake,’” I said with a laugh at Dec.
Dec squinted his eyes at me. “I’m not sure there’s much worse, but if there is, I’m sure you’d be the one to find it.”
I laughed at that and asked Evan, “You want a glass of wine?”
“Uh, yeah. Thanks.”
“I’ll get it,” Declan said before walking into the kitchen.
I ushered Evan into living room, and he eyed me as we walked. “What?”
“Your boyfriend seems nice,” he said.
I laughed. “Declan is not my boyfriend.”
Evan lifted a brow. “You sure about that?”
“I think I’d know if he was.” We sat on the couch. “He’s my friend.”
“If you say so.”
Dec came out and passed Evan a glass of wine, then looked at me and asked, “Do you want me to heat up the food now? I turned the burner off before so it’s probably cold.”
“Oh, I can do that.” I started to get up.
He put his hand on my shoulder to stop me. “You hang out with your brother. I don’t mind.” He walked back into the kitchen without waiting for a response. I think he officially has all the points. All of them. He’s been so sweet since he got here.
“You sure he’s not your boyfriend?” Ev asked as soon as Dec was out of earshot.
“He’s my friend.”
Evan shrugged and sipped his wine as his leg started bouncing up and down. “Whatever, dude. You still a photographer?”
“Yep.”
“Same place as before? You liked it there when you started. Oh, and that guy, what’s his name? Lewis? Larry? Landon—”
“Levi.”
“Oh! That’s right. Levi. Yeah, you liked him. Did you ever hit that?”
I cringed at that. “No, Ev, Levi is just a friend.”
“I thought you liked him. I remember you talked about him nonstop, like, all the freaking time, and you used to—”
“He’s my friend and he’s married. Jesus, Ev, take it down a notch.”
“What?” His leg continued its crazy bouncing, and he started picking at his sleeve. “Whatever. Where do you work now?”
“Flash Me Photos. It’s the same place. Yes, with Levi. It’s his studio.”
“You do any weddings this weekend?”
“I did one yesterday and one on Friday.”
“Nothing on Saturday, I thought Saturdays were the busiest. Or was that just an excuse to get out of doing things with me back in the day? I know I asked you a bunch of times to come out and you never could. Or so you said.”
“Levi and his husband worked a Saturday wedding and another employee did the other one.”
“Oh, gotcha. So what’d you do on Saturday after I left? I know you said you were leaving, but you didn’t tell me where you were going. Though, you were covered in orange. Did you go to some weird orange-themed party? I know your favorite color isn’t orange. Or at least it wasn’t when you were a kid. Did that change? Do you have a new fav? You looked all done up to go out. Where did you go? Somewhere weird, I bet. Orange can represent fire, ya know? It’s supposed to be a happy color or something and it—”
“I went to the Orioles game,” I said, cutting him off again. If I didn’t interrupt him, there was no telling how long he’d go on about the color orange. I swear he was the king of random facts. Always had been. He’d always been such an intelligent guy, I never understood how he did so badly in school. I kinda thought his teachers just got sick of dealing with him and that maybe he’d been bored in his classes.
“Dude, since when do you like baseball?”
“Since Saturday when Declan took me.”
“Your non-boyfriend took you?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes. He took me and got me drunk enough that I actually enjoyed watching a sport for once in my life.”
“If I would’ve known that was all it took, I would’ve done that in high school.”
I snorted and glanced into the kitchen. From my vantage point, I could see Declan standing at the stove stirring. I smiled at the sight before looking at my brother, who smirked and said, “Not your boyfriend, my ass. You like him.”
I huffed. “He’s my friend, ER.”
“Maybe, but you wish it was more.”
“Not true.”
“Uh huh, sure.”
“ER, stop.”
“Nope,” he said, popping the P. “Trent looooooovvvves De—”
“Evan! Stop!” He started cracking up, so I pushed his shoulder and muttered, “Jerk.” He was still so much the little annoying kid I lived with for a couple years.
He laughed, then drained his wine and set the glass on the table.
I followed suit, then asked the question that’d been burning in the back of my mind since Saturday. I cleared my throat, then quietly asked, “Where have you been, Evan? What happened to you three years ago?”
He blew out a breath and scrubbed his hands over his face, then leaned his elbows on his knees, finally stilling his leg. He picked at the edge of the coffee table and looked at me. “Do you remember that girl I was… hanging out with? Catherine?”
“Yeah, of course.” It didn’t take much to remember his friend that always hated me just as much as I hated her. She was bad news and I’d hated that my little brother was falling in with her.
“She… convinced me to run away with her up to New York. She had a couple friends up there that said we could stay with them, so we did.”
“You’ve been in New York all this time?”
He shrugged. “More or less.”
What the actual fuck! I clenched my teeth together, then stood and started pacing my living room as I gathered my thoughts together. When I finally felt like I could speak without screaming at him, I turned to him. “And you thought that, what? I’d try to stop you? Or I’d kidnap you and bring you back home? I mean, why exactly didn’t you tell me where you were, Evan? I thought you were dead!” Okay, so maybe I hadn’t waited long enough. I was totally yelling. “You disappeared right after we had that stupid fight! I thought you ran away and got yourself murdered because of me! Or that you’d… hurt yourself. Because of me, Evan! I thought you were dead. I thought my brother was dead.”
He stood up and walked toward me with his hands out in front of him, looking like he was approaching a wild animal that he thought would lash out at him. He wasn’t too far off. I felt like I was going to explode. He softly said, “I know. I’m so sorry.”
“That’s not good enough. I thought my little brother was dead!”
“I know, Trent.” His voice was soft and his light brown eyes were pleading. “I never meant to do that to you. I was a stupid kid that didn’t understand how his actions would affect you. I never meant to hurt you.”
“Why didn—” My voice cracked and I realized with a start that I was crying. “Why didn’t you contact me? You can’t tell me that you didn’t think about it all this time.”
“I was scared that you hated me after what I did to you.”
“I could never hate you.”
“I know… I’m so sorry.”
I nodded and angrily wiped my cheeks and eyes. “You should’ve called me or texted me or something. Sent a fucking letter in the mail so I’d know you were okay. I’ve… I fucking searched for you for over a year, Ev, before the police finally convinced me that you were gone. I tried…” I wiped my cheeks again as fresh tears poured out. “I didn’t want to believe you were gone, but I thought… I thought that you would’ve called if you were still alive.” I wiped my eyes again and decided not to tell him that even after the police gave up, I kept searching, and that I never fully stopped searching. I looked for clues on social media, newspapers, anywhere I could think of. I whispered, “I never stopped hoping even though a huge part of me thought I’d never see you again.”
Evan suddenly moved closer to me and pulled me into a hug. I stiffened in surprise for a moment before closing my eyes and hugging him back for a long-ass time. I cried on his shoulder until I finally felt like I could stop the stupid tears. When I opened my eyes and released him, I saw that Evan’s eyes were red-rimmed, too.
He shot me a hesitant smile and whispered, “I’m gonna go to the bathroom. Be right back.”
I nodded, then turned and saw Declan standing in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, obviously trying to give us some space. I grabbed my and Ev’s glasses off the table and walked into the kitchen.
“I’m sorry about that,” I said to Dec.
He waved me away. “Are you okay?”
I took a deep breath. “I don’t know… but I’m glad he’s here.”
He half-smiled, then walked over and surprised me by giving me a sorta half-hug. He surprised me further by pressing a soft, barley-there kiss on my temple. I leaned into him for a few seconds and he rubbed my arm.
He whispered, “Do you want me to leave so you can spend time with your brother?”
I smiled up at him. “Please stay. I… could use the support.”
“Okay.” He kissed my temple again—this time a little harder—before releasing me completely. “Do you want to eat dinner now or wait a bit?”
“Now would be good. I haven’t eaten much today, and I’m about to chug this wine.”
He huffed out a small laugh. “Okay, well, it’s done.”
“Thank you.”
“Anytime, Little Jalapeno.”
“Don’t start, Cupcake.”
He shot me a smile.
“Will you help me carry it to the table?”
“Yep.”
“Thanks.” I yelled toward the hallway, “Let’s eat dinner. I’m fucking starving.”
“Let me help, too,” Evan said, walking straight into the kitchen and grabbing a dish.
Dinner went surprisingly well. I wanted to know more details about what Evan did in the three years he’d been gone, but every time I brought it up, he steered the conversation in a different direction. I didn’t want to push him away, so I stopped asking and we ended up telling Declan about some of the shit we’d gotten up to when we were teenagers.
I hadn’t forgiven Evan completely, it would take a long time for me to forgive and trust him again, but I was hoping that this was the start of rebuilding our relationship. As long as he didn’t disappear on me again.