Chapter Thirty-Five
Declan
When I woke up, still wrapped around Trent, I buried my nose into his neck and sighed, relieved that he was still here with me. Yesterday, when he’d dropped that bomb on me, I’d thought about bolting, just like he knew I would. I didn’t think I could handle what he was telling me. I knew I’d been on borrowed time with him, that this thing between us had gone on a lot longer than I’d thought it would. So when he’d said he loved me and promised me forever, a huge part of me wanted to believe him.
What if he’s telling the truth? my brain decided to supply, obviously already liking the idea of that he’s your forever scenario.
When all was said and done, I’d give anything for it to be true. For Trent to truly love me, and for him to love me for the rest of our lives. But what I knew and what I wanted weren’t matching up.
“I can practically hear you thinking,” Trent croaked, his sleepy voice was raspy and hoarse.
“Mm.” I couldn’t muster the words I needed, and I didn’t really want to tell him what I’d been thinking, anyway.
“On a scale of one to ten, how badly are you freaking out right now?” he asked.
I half-smiled at how well he knew me. “A hundred.”
“Mm… that bad, huh?” He pulled my hand up to his mouth and kissed my knuckles. “Eh, I suppose it could be worse.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle at that. Even in the midst of freaking out, he knew how to make me laugh and feel a little lighter. I scooted closer to him so my chest was completely flat against his back and I kissed his neck.
“I know you don’t believe me, but I’m not going anywhere. I wish I knew how to convince you that I’m telling the truth.”
I kissed his neck, then said exactly what I was thinking. “I wish you knew how to, too.”
He turned in my arms and pecked my lips as he looked at me with a small, sleepy smile. “I can wait you out. I’m always up for a good competition.”
“What exactly are we competing for?”
He traced his fingers over my cheeks. “Well, I don’t really know what you’re competing for, but I’m going to prove to you that I love you and I’m here to stay.” He pecked my lips. “And you know how I like to win.”
I couldn’t keep the smile from my face. “I do.”
He placed a few more little kisses on my lips before he leaned his face into my neck and kissed my throat. After a couple minutes, he asked, “Was I dreaming that you said you bought me something?”
“That wasn’t a dream, Jalapeno. I have a present for you.”
He leaned back to look up at me. “Really?”
“Yep. You want it now?”
“Depends. Does it require you moving out of the bed?”
I chuckled. “Yes, but I have it in the closet, so I won’t go far.”
He seemed to muse over it for a moment before he hugged me to him and tucked his head back under my chin. “Maybe in a little while. I’m kinda happy right here.”
That response made me smile and made my chest fill with warmth. I tightened my arms around him and whispered, “I’m happy right here, too.”
He tightened his hold on me for a second, letting me know he heard and appreciated my response, but he didn’t say anything for a long time. And surprisingly, I was perfectly okay with that. I was perfectly okay with having him in my arms and doing nothing at all, with holding him and breathing him in, with just enjoying his presence. I was perfectly okay with it because I was with him. Nothing else mattered to me as much as Trent did. In the grand scheme of things, he was the thing that meant the most to me.
After a long time, Trent muttered, “I really have to pee and I’ve been holding it forever because I don’t want to get up, but I’m afraid if I wait any longer, I’ll pee the bed.”
I chuckled. “Then go to the bathroom.”
“That requires moving and I’m good with staying here for the rest of my life. You’re seriously comfortable, even with your chest hairs tickling my nose every once in a while.”
I laughed again. “Just go.”
“Would it really be that bad if I peed the bed? I mean, you’ve had all my other bodily fluids on you… and in you before.”
“Gross.”
“And isn’t pee sterile or something? They used to use it to clean wounds when they ran out of penicillin… I read that somewhere. So really, it wouldn’t be that gross.”
“Are you seriously trying to convince me to let you pee on me? Is this a fetish you neglected to tell me about?”
“Dude, no. I just don’t want to move. And it’s not like I’d pee on you on purpose.”
“Is there a scenario where you might pee on me by accident?”
“Well…” He hesitated for a moment before admitting, “I’ve peed the bed before when I was drunk.”
I burst out laughing and had to lean back to look at him. He glared at me, but I just ran my hand through his hair and said, “I bet you were a disaster if you were that drunk. I’d like to see that.”
He stuck his tongue out at me, so I leaned in and sucked it into my mouth. He melted into my kiss for about thirty seconds before abruptly breaking it and quickly jumping out of bed. “Shit, I’m gonna die if I don’t piss right now.”
I sat up, chuckling at him trying to throw on a pair of my boxer briefs to run to the bathroom in. I figured he didn’t want to chance Kade being home, and I didn’t mind him grabbing my underwear instead of his own. Not only had they been closer to him, but I didn’t think I’d be thrilled if my brother saw Trent in his lacey panties. At least if Kade saw Trent half naked and with my underwear on, I’d be safe in the knowledge that he was wearing something of mine.
Jesus, when did I become so possessive?
By the time Trent came back, I had put on a pair of pajama bottoms and found a small pair of sweatpants for him, if he decided that he wanted them. Trent frowned at me when he shut my bedroom door and said, “I was hoping you’d still be in bed.”
“All that talk about peeing made me need to go. I’ll be right back and you can see what I got for you.” I kissed his temple on my way out before going in the bathroom and taking care of business. I brushed my teeth after I washed my hands, figuring that Trent had already brushed his since he hated morning breath, then I practically ran into my room, excited to see what Trent thought about his present.
He was sitting in the middle of the bed with Monster on his lap, leaning against the headboard. I walked over and pulled him into a slow kiss, grinning against his mouth when I tasted his toothpaste, then I went to my closet and pulled out the big box I’d hidden there yesterday. I passed it to Trent. It was just a large rectangular shipping box, I didn’t wrap it or anything.
Monster crawled off his lap and settled on my pillow as Trent hesitantly opened it and gasped. “Holy shit. Declan, I can’t believe… where the hell are we gonna put that?”
I grinned at him. “It’s portable and can be used indoors and not as huge as some, so we should be able to move stuff around in your living room, or mine, if you wanted to put it together today, and it should fit.”
He stared at me for a long moment before slowly saying, “You bought me a hammock.”
“I bought you a hammock.”
“Because I told you that I used to love sitting in one with my mom?” He started blinking quickly.
My brow furrowed. “Yes… is that wrong? Do you not like it?”
“No… I… I love it. I just…” He rubbed his eyes with his fingers, then kept his hand there so I couldn’t see his brown eyes. “No one’s ever done anything like this for me and I… I don’t even know…” He huffed and dropped his hand, letting me see his glossy eyes that were filled with a million emotions. “Thank you, Declan. I love it… I love you.” He leaned over and kissed me. “This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. I can’t even believe you did this. Thank you so much.”
I frowned at the thought that this was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him. He deserved to have nice things. All the nice things. I’d have to remedy that. I kissed his temple when he looked at the hammock box and ran his fingers over the picture. “I’m glad you like it.”
“I love it, babe. Were you serious about setting it up in the living room?” he asked without looking away from it.
“Yes. We can set it up and maybe watch a movie together or something. I’m sorry we can’t set it up outside and look at the clouds like you used to, but hopefully, you’ll still like it.”
He looked at me with a bit of a watery smile. “Are you kidding me? I’m going to love it. Especially if you’re laying in it with me.”
I kissed his lips.
“Will it really fit us both?”
“It’s supposed to hold two people, so it should.” I scooted close to him and put my chin on his shoulder with my arm around his back. “Maybe one day one of us will have a yard and we can put it out there. But I think the living room will do for now. Wanna help put it together?”
“Yes!” He turned his head, so I leaned in to kiss his lips again. “Thank you so much, Cupcake.”
“Anytime, Little Jalapeno.” I’d do anything to make him smile like that again. He was beautiful when he was happy.
Thirty minutes later, we had the hammock set up in my living room with all my furniture pushed up against the wall. I’d even moved my loveseat into the connected dining room. If Kade came home, he was going to think I’d lost my mind. He’d made so many comments to me about how OCD I was about my apartment, and he wasn’t wrong. But seeing how happy Trent was made the whole thing worth it. He was practically glowing.
He looked at me with the widest smile and asked, “You ready to watch a movie?”
“Um, I thought you wanted to eat breakfast first?”
“No, we finally finished getting this thing together, now we have to test it out!”
I blinked at him. “You feeling okay?”
He looked at me in confusion. “Yeah, why?”
I bit back a grin. “Because you, Trent the eater of all things, want to skip breakfast.”
He rolled his eyes at me but couldn’t hide his smirk. “I don’t want to skip breakfast, I want to do something else before breakfast.”
“Do you realize that it’s already noon?”
“I do now.” He rolled his eyes again. “Okay, let’s watch a short show together in the hammock, then get breakfast, then lay back down in the hammock for a movie.” He stuck his bottom lip out at me. “I just really want to test it out. Can we? Please? Pretty, pretty please?”
I huffed, but smiled. “Fine.”
He grinned and kissed my lips, then pushed my shoulder. “You go first.”
“But it’s your hammock. You should try it first.”
“I want you to get in so you can spoon me. I think it’ll be easier if you go first.”
I huffed again, but listened to him and sat on the edge of the hammock before lying down and trying to scoot to leave him some room—it didn’t go well.
“See,” he said, “if I had gone first, you would’ve squished me.”
I chuckled. “Why didn’t you just say that in the first place?”
“I didn’t want to give you a complex.”
“And you do now?”
“Shush, you.” He smirked at me, then climbed onto the hammock, managing to land a little on top of me. After he scooted around for a minute, he finally ended up with his back to me, using my biceps as a pillow, in our typical spooning fashion. Only, I was sorta on my back, and I didn’t have a pillow.
“We forgot a pillow. I won’t be able to see anything.”
Trent rolled onto his back as much as he could. “Okay, let’s play find the animal with the ceiling.”
I looked up and saw the little cracks that were forming and frowned. “How did I never notice that before?”
“How often do you find yourself flat on your back?”
I glanced at him. “Usually when I’m flat on my back, I’m concentrating on something else. Or should I say, someone.”
He laughed and pushed me. “Dork.”
“You must like dorks because you hang out with me all the time.”
He shrugged. “Eh, it makes me feel like less of a dork when I’m with you.”
I laughed and nudged him. “You’re such a shit.”
He grinned at me. “I know, but you like it.”
I scooted my face close to him so my nose brushed his. “I like you.”
He leaned closer to kiss my lips, and I put my free hand on his chest, then ran it up his neck to his cheek. We kissed for a few minutes and when we broke apart, he whispered, “I think this is my new favorite place ever.”
“Laying in the hammock?”
He kissed my lips. “Laying in the hammock with you.”
“You’re doing that sappy thing again,” I said, though I couldn’t hold in my smile at his sweet statement.
“I can’t help it,” he groaned, then turned his attention to the ceiling and pointed to a spot. “That’s totally an elephant.”
I squinted and tilted my head but couldn’t for the life of me see an elephant. “I think it looks more like a monkey with a long tail.”
“No, that’s the elephant’s trunk, and that other little crack is his ear, see?”
I squinted again. “Kind of.” I leaned back and looked around before pointing at another spot. “Look, that’s a flower.”
“Where?”
I scooted my head close to his and pointed at it. “Right there. It even has a stem with a leaf.”
“That looks like a kangaroo.”
“What? No way do you think that looks like a kangaroo. How? Where? Are you looking at the same place as me?”
He chuckled. “I see a kangaroo.”
We pointed out a few more shapes and animals before Trent’s stomach started growling, loudly. I was sorta relieved when it did because I was starving. So we got up and made our way to the kitchen where we made some eggs and toast since they were quick. Then we threw some stuff into a crock pot and grabbed about a million snacks to put on the coffee table.
We threw some pillows and blankets onto the hammock, then pushed the coffee table close to it so we’d be able to reach all the snacks and drinks without getting out of it. Once everything was set, we climbed back in and got comfortable in a spooning position—again—this time with pillows, and we started a TV show we’d been watching for the past couple weeks together.
Trent and I spent almost all day in that hammock. And it was perfect.
When Trent left the next morning, I made him take the packed-up hammock with him so he could set it up at home. He’d wanted to leave it with me, but after I promised him that I’d come over one night this week to examine the cracks on his apartment’s ceiling, he finally conceded.
Trent had told me at least a hundred times that he loved me. And even though I was reluctant to believe him, every time he said it, warmth overtook my whole body and I felt those damn butterflies in my stomach. I didn’t know if I believed him, but I sure as hell liked hearing the words.
And a part of me was hoping that he was right, that he’d somehow find a way to convince me that it was true. Because fuck, did I want it to be.