Chapter Thirty-Three
Declan
For some reason, going to Levi and Andy’s house was making me anxious. I didn’t really know why, but maybe it was because I knew how much Andy disliked me and didn’t approve of my relationship with Trent. It was weird, and sometimes still made me squirm, referring to what Trent and I had as a relationship. He’d told me before that we didn’t need to define it, but I could see how much it meant to him every time I referred to him as my boyfriend or said the dreaded R word in reference to us. So I’d decided to get over it and try to start using boyfriend and relationship whenever I could. Baby steps.
If calling him my boyfriend would help me keep him for a little while longer, I’d do it. I’d do pretty much anything to keep Trent in my life. Honestly, I wished I could keep him forever.
So I guess that was how I found myself walking up the sidewalk to my ex’s—and his husband’s—house, going to a dinner party with my boyfriend.
“It’s going to be fine,” Trent said, grabbing my free hand—the other hand carried a bag with the dessert we’d made together—and lacing our fingers together. His touch helped ground me when I felt like I was about to come out of my skin.
“Mmhmm.” I hummed, but didn’t open my mouth in case I threw up all over him.
Trent pulled me to a stop and made me face him. “I promise it’s going to be fine. And if you’re still uncomfortable in a little while, we’ll make an excuse and leave, okay?”
“I’m not making you leave your friends’ house just because I’m a little uncomfortable.” More like a lot uncomfortable.
“You’re more important to me than anyone else in there.”
When he said things like that, it made butterflies go off in my stomach and made me feel like maybe, just maybe, he wanted this to last as badly as I did. I cleared my throat. “But I want you to have a good time. I don’t want you to leave because of me.”
“Declan, I don’t care about anything else but you.” He went up on his toes and kissed my jaw, making those butterflies intensify. “And anyway, if you’re uncomfortable and not having a good time, I’m not going to have a good time, either, because I’ll be worried about you.”
I cracked a smile. “Okay, well, I’ll try to have a good time.”
He snorted. “That’s not what I meant. But I hope you’ll be okay after a little while.” He cupped my cheek—I grabbed his elbow—and pulled me down to kiss me softly. “I want to be with you. Screw everyone else.”
He said it with so much conviction, I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe that he meant it, that he’d always mean it. I knew I was falling for him. Or had fallen for him. I’d honestly cared about him more than anyone else in my entire life for a long time. That was why I was fighting so hard to keep him around.
Trent wrapped his arms around my neck and hugged me, so I hugged him back with the bag hitting his leg. He whispered, “What’s wrong? If you’re really that worried, we can leave. I’ll call Levi and tell him I’m not feeling good or something.”
I smiled at that. “We’re literally standing right outside their house. I’m pretty sure we’ve been spotted by now.”
“I don’t care. We don’t have to stay.”
I buried my nose in his hair, breathing in his apple shampoo scent. “It’s not that.”
He leaned back to look up at me as he ran his hands through my hair, probably messing it up while he was at it. He kissed my lips. “Talk to me, babe.”
I smiled a little. “I’m fine. I’m just in a weird mood, okay? Let’s go inside.”
He kept running his hands through my hair as he whispered, “Are you sure, Cupcake? I really don’t mind if you want to leave.”
“Thank you, but it’s fine.” I pulled away from him and grabbed his hand to pull him up the sidewalk. “Come on, Jalapeno.”
He kissed the back of my hand when I knocked on the door. Andy answered with a “Hey, guys” and a glare in my direction.
I stifled a sigh and said, “My boyfriend and I made some dessert.” I held up the bag.
“Boyfriend?” Andy sounded surprised, which made me stifle another sigh.
“For fuck’s sake, Andy, I told you already,” Trent said.
Andy looked at Trent. “I know, but it’s different hearing him,” he nodded at me, “say it.”
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, but Trent rolled his and pushed Andy’s shoulder. “Leave us alone and get inside.” I bit my lip, a little uncomfortable at their easy camaraderie. It was very clear that they were used to being around one another, and I didn’t really like it.
Andy eyed me before blowing out a breath, his eyes softening a little. “I’m sorry. I’m glad you guys could make it, come on in.” He waved us in, so I walked past him with a nod.
I made my way into the kitchen to drop off the dessert with Trent right behind me. There were a lot of people here, most of whom I knew, so I said hello along the way. As soon as I stepped into the kitchen, Levi’s loud-ass voice said, “You made it!”
I smiled at him. “Hey, Levi.” My brow furrowed as I took him in. His hair was dyed purple—different since it’d been pink for at least a year probably—but that wasn’t what I was staring at. He had a purple fluff ball in his hands, and it took me a few minutes to realize it was one of his new dogs. The little fluffy thing had a scrunched-up face and teeth poking out and wasn’t exactly the cutest animal I’d ever seen but, somehow, that made him cuter. But seeing a purple dog was… weird as shit. Trent had warned me that Levi had used dog friendly dye on Mr. Glitter Face—that’s his name, right?—but that still hadn’t prepared me for it.
Levi walked over and gave me a one-armed hug that I returned awkwardly, then he hugged Trent and passed Trent the dog as he said, “Can you take him so I can finish getting this dip together. He was freaking out a little when people started arriving, and Andy’s too busy answering the door.”
“No problem. I love this little guy,” Trent said, giving the dog a kiss and a scratch on his head. For some reason, it surprised me how much Levi seemed to trust my boyfriend, though it really shouldn’t since they’d known each other for a long time. I knew for a fact that Levi wouldn’t have passed that dog to just anyone. In fact, he hadn’t passed him to any of the other people that were already here.
“Thanks.” Levi kissed Trent’s cheek, which made me bristle, then he grabbed the bag from me and walked over to the counter. “Thanks for bringing this, guys.”
I nodded and scooted closer to Trent. I let the dog sniff my hand, and once he was okay with me, I leaned over him to place a hard kiss on Trent’s lips. Trent smiled and when we broke the kiss, he looked amused and happy.
A black pit bull with a white spot on her chest startled me when she licked my hand. Trent said, “That’s Mrs. Sparkle Pants. She’s a sweetheart.” He reached down to pet the dog while I patted the dog’s side. Once she trotted away, he whispered, “Wanna go find Reese or someone?”
I absentmindedly pet the purple dog with one hand and rubbed my other hand over Trent’s lower back. “I guess so.” I looked at the dog, then back at Trent. “Animals really like you.”
He shrugged. “I like animals.”
“Why didn’t you ever get a pet before?”
“My building doesn’t allow pets.”
I frowned. “Well, at least we have Monster now.”
For some reason, a huge grin spread across his face. “Yes, we do.” He pecked my lips. “Maybe we should get another cat.”
“I don’t know if Monster would like that very much.”
He chuckled a little, then said, “Let’s go talk to some of our friends.”
“Fine. But next weekend, we’re going to be lazy and watch movies.”
“Sounds perfect.” He led the way to the living room and we joined the crowd.
For whatever reason, I was surprised to see Matty there. I’d forgotten that he and Andy were friends since they played some kind of nerdy games or something every week. Trent was talking to Tristan when Matty walked over to me. I smiled a little and said, “Hey, how are you?”
“I’m good,” he said in his soft voice before pulling me into a small hug. “How are you?”
I glanced at Trent and saw him eyeing us, then I looked back at Matty. “I’m good. What have you been up to?”
“Just school and working.” He shrugged. “The usual. So you and Trent are still together, huh?”
I nodded and couldn’t help but smile a little. “Yes.”
Matty smiled. “That’s good, Declan. I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks.” I felt awkward, but it was nice to see him looking healthy and seemingly good. “What about you? Dating anyone?”
He shook his head. “Nah. I’m just trying to concentrate on finishing up school.”
I nodded and was relieved when Trent walked over and gave Matty a side-hug, since he still had the purple dog in his hands. As the two of them started talking, I shoulder-bumped Trent, then walked over to Reese, who was holding his daughter in his arms. “Hey.”
“Hey, Dec.” Reese smiled at me.
When Amelia saw me, she stretched her arms out to me, so I took the little cutie out of Reese’s arms. I kissed Amelia’s cheek and said, “Hi, sweet pea. What do you have in your hands?”
Amelia showed me her stuffed animal—a puppy—right before I started tickling her and making her giggle like crazy. After I stopped my tickle attack, she hugged me for a long time while I chatted with her dad, but when one of her older brothers ran by, she wanted to get down. She ran off with the other kids, though Reese was watching her like a hawk.
Without Amelia there as a distraction, I found myself observing Trent as he talked to one of his friends—Alex—on the other side of the large living room. I was jolted from my Trent-watching when Reese’s laugh caught my attention. When I looked at my friend, I asked, “What’s so funny?”
He kept chuckling. “You are.” He nodded toward Trent. “You’ve been staring at him and haven’t heard anything I’ve said.”
I cringed a little. “Sorry.”
He shook his head with a smile. “I don’t care. I’ve never seen you like this before.” I didn’t know what that meant, so I didn’t respond and he asked, “You really like him, huh?”
“Yeah.” Obviously. More than anyone.
“Good.” He smacked my shoulder.
I smiled and shrugged a little.
“I’m glad you found someone, Declan.”
I nodded, then looked back at Trent. I had found someone. Trent was my someone, my person. I knew that, I just wished I could believe that he’d always be that someone. I cleared my throat and changed the subject. “I haven’t even seen your husband yet. Where is he?”
“Sammy is having some issues at school, so he went upstairs as soon as we got here. Caleb’s been talking to him. They’ve been up there for a long time.”
“Is everything alright? Do we need to go to his school or something?”
Reese smiled sadly but shook his head. “No. I think there’s a kid bullying him, but we’ve already talked to the school and everything. We’re trying to figure it out.”
That really pissed me off. “You need any help with anything?”
“I think we’re okay, but thanks.” Reese eyed me for a moment before adding, “Sammy is okay, Dec, I promise.”
“Just let me know if you need help with anything.”
“Thanks, man.” After a minute, he asked, “So have you heard anything back yet?”
I knew exactly what he was talking about, so I didn’t need him to elaborate. “No. The guy said he had a lead he was checking out this weekend. Hopefully, I’ll have news next week.”
Reese nodded. There wasn’t really anything to say. I hadn’t told Trent that I’d been looking for his brother. I didn’t want to get his hopes up. Trent always said he was fine, but I knew that Evan’s disappearance weighed on him. He still called Evan’s phone several times a week and texted him all the time. We hadn’t heard from him, but I wanted to find him and convince him to come home.
Trent walked over to me with a furrowed brow. “You okay, Cupcake?”
I heard Reese snicker—just like he had every single time he’d heard Trent’s nickname for me—but I looked at my boyfriend and said, “I’m fine.”
Trent squinted his eyes at me and squeezed my hand, then looked at Reese. “Hey, what’s up?”
As the night went on, I realized that I’d had nothing to be nervous about and I started enjoying myself. Anytime I felt like I was on the outside of a conversation, I would just walk over to Trent and put my arm around him. I knew that I had Trent there, no matter what else was going on around us.