Chapter Thirty-Four
Trent
We’d been at the party for hours, and it’d been a lot of fun, but damn, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I had to fucking tell him. I’d been holding it in for fucking months. I. Had. To. Tell. Him. And I had to do it now.
I ignored the surprised look Levi gave me as I stepped between him and Declan, looking Declan in the eyes. “I need to talk to you.”
Dec’s brow furrowed. “Okay?”
“Right now.” I grabbed his hand and started to pull him away, then I realized where we were, so I turned around and said to Levi, “Thank you for having us. It was really great, but, uh, we need to go.”
“We’re leaving?” Declan asked.
I nodded at him, then Levi said with a smirk, “I’ll see you later… have fun.” He did a little ridiculous wave that made me roll my eyes at him, though I couldn’t contain my smile. I didn’t really care if he thought I was taking Declan out of the party just to have sex. That wasn’t what I was doing, but I hoped that the night would end that way if all went well.
Declan let me lead him out of the party, and he didn’t say anything until we got in my car. “What’s going on, Trent? Is something wrong?”
I shook my head. “Nothing’s wrong, I just need to talk to you.”
“About what?”
When I looked at him, I could see the vulnerability in his gaze, and I immediately felt bad for making him think something was wrong. God, I hated when he got all insecure about our relationship. His parents, his whole fucking family, had really fucked him up. I didn’t want him freaking out, so I turned to him and pulled his chin to me, then said, “Nothing is wrong. There’s just something I want to talk to you about, and I didn’t want to do it in front of a million people.”
“There’s no one here now. Tell me what’s going on.”
“I don’t… shit, I don’t want to do this in Levi’s front yard, babe. I promise it’s nothing bad.” When Declan looked at me, his eyes told me all I needed to know. He was pretending not to be affected, but his eyes looked scared and I couldn’t fucking have that. So I locked the car doors and said, “Promise you won’t run away.”
He blinked at me a couple times, then smiled a little bit. “Did you just lock the doors to try and keep me hostage?”
I shrugged one shoulder. “Yes.”
He snorted, but it relaxed him a little and he settled back in his seat, then turned his head to look at me. “I won’t run away. Now tell me what’s so urgent you made us escape something you’ve been looking forward to all week.”
I blew out a breath, then said, “I love you.”
He stared at me with wide eyes. “Wh-what?”
“I love you, Declan.” I reached over and grabbed his hand, threading our fingers together. “I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you for months, but I’ve been afraid to tell you.”
He just kept staring at me.
“I don’t expect you to say it back, Cupcake, but I had to tell you. It was making me insane because I just want to scream it from the rooftops and let the whole world know how much I love you. I couldn’t wait any longer after I saw how adorable you were with the kids in there and the dogs, for that matter, and even our friends. You deserve to know how loved you are because I know you don’t think you are. But, Declan, you are so fucking loved by so many fucking people. But most of all, by me. I love you more than I ever thought possible.” I took a deep breath and looked him over.
He was still sitting there with wide eyes and a stunned expression. He was in shock or something. He closed his eyes, swallowed hard and took a shaky breath.
“Declan?” I grabbed his hand and lifted it to my mouth, but he didn’t move. So I kissed his wrist, then his forearm and slowly placed small kisses up his arm. But he still didn’t move. I leaned over the console and kissed his neck, making a tremor rack his body in response. So I did it again and again, kissing him as far as I could reach. He didn’t move or open his eyes, but he was trembling. As much as I didn’t want to do this in front of Levi’s house, I needed to make sure that he was okay, that he wasn’t about to freak out and bolt on me. I knew he wasn’t used to people telling him that they loved him. I knew he was shocked and probably didn’t believe me. But I fucking had to make him believe.
So I awkwardly climbed over the console and squeezed myself onto his lap. I was sitting sideways and bent super weird so I didn’t hit my head on the ceiling, my knees were against the window, but I was touching Declan, so it was fine. He was taking deep breaths, but still kept his eyes closed.
I put my hands on his neck, brushing my thumbs over his jaw. “Declan, baby? I know you don’t believe me, I know you don’t think anyone can love you, but you’re wrong. So, so, so fucking wrong. I love you. I’m in love with you and I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it to you.”
I leaned in and cuddled myself up to him. After a few seconds, he wrapped his arms around me, and I breathed out a sigh of relief. We stayed that way for a few minutes before Declan moved a little and held my chin between his fingers, lifting my face to his. He looked at me with those baby blue eyes that sparkled with emotion and he breathed out, “Trent,” then he pulled me in to kiss me softly. He tasted like mint from the gum he’d chewed, but I could feel his emotions in that kiss, too.
His hand traveled from my chin to my cheek, then down my neck where he ran his thumb over my Adam’s apple. I gripped his hair and deepened the kiss. After I started to feel like I might explode in my pants, I broke the kiss and whispered, “Let me drive us home.”
He nodded, then rested his forehead against my temple.
I pecked his lips, and rather than climb back over the console I unlocked the doors and climbed out to walk around to the driver’s seat. I drove us to his apartment with my hand on his thigh and his hand covering my own. We’d decided earlier that we’d stay at his place because of Monster.
Once we arrived and made our way to his apartment, we greeted the cat, checked his food and water, then headed into his bedroom. Declan immediately started pacing the bedroom, so I leaned against the door and waited for him to work out whatever it was he wanted to say.
Finally, he turned to me and said in a broken voice, “What if you change your mind?”
My heart hurt at the look on his face. I pushed off the door and walked close to cup his cheeks again. “That could never happen.”
“But everyone always changes their mind. Everyone in my family… even my parents stopped loving me.”
“Declan, I’m not your parents. They loved the idea of you, but they never had a chance to love the real you because they got in their own way of knowing a wonderful, amazing person. I’m not them. I know you; I see you. I love you for who you are. I don’t love you because you’re my friend or someone I happen to know; I love you because you’re kind and sweet and smart and funny and compassionate.” I ran my hand through his hair, then rubbed his cheek. “I love you because you treat me like I mean something to you. I love you because of who you are inside. And I can’t change my mind because it’s not my mind that loves you, it’s my heart, okay? My heart loves your heart, and that’s all there is to it. There’s no changing it, there’s no taking it back. I’m in love with you, Declan. And I’m not going anywhere.”
His chest started heaving with deep breaths like he was having trouble getting enough air in his lungs. I gently pushed him until the back of his knees hit the bed, and I made him sit down. “Come on, baby, let’s get you in bed.” I helped him out of his jeans, then pulled the comforter out and covered him.
When I stepped back, he grabbed my wrist. “Where are you going? Are you leaving?” He looked like he was panicking again.
I covered his hand with mine. “No, I’m staying the night, remember? I just need to get out of my jeans and turn out the light. I’m not going anywhere.”
He nodded and let go of my wrist, but watched me like a hawk while I got ready, not that I minded. After turning out the light, I climbed into bed behind him and wrapped my arms around him. I wasn’t usually the big spoon, but I had to admit that I loved holding him, even if he was bigger than me.
“Trent?”
“Yeah, Cupcake?”
“Thank you for telling me… I’m… I’m not ready to—”
“Shh,” I cut him off. “It’s okay. I didn’t tell you just so you’d tell me back.” I squeezed him. “I can wait until you’re ready.”
“You’re probably the least patient person I know.”
I smiled at that. “I can be patient for you… you’re worth it.”
After a few seconds, he said, “That was super sappy and ridiculous. Your sap factor has gone up by a million tonight.”
“It was all true, though.”
“Don’t be gross and turn into one of those super sappy people.”
I chuckled. “I’ll try to contain my sappiness.”
He laughed a little. “Thanks, I appreciate that.”
I smiled against the back of his neck and placed a kiss there. I was so relieved that he was joking around with me. When he’d fallen silent in the car, I’d been afraid that I’d broken him.
“You know it’s really early for us to be in bed, right?” he asked a little while later when neither of us had fallen asleep.
“I know.” I tightened my hold on him. “I like holding you, though.”
“Do you think… have you ever topped?”
My eyebrows shot up at the question. We’d talked about our sexual histories some, but hadn’t gone into much detail. I hadn’t really wanted to hear it, honestly. We’d mostly just said how many people we’d slept with and when the last time we’d been tested was and things like that. I answered him, “Most of the guys I’ve been with didn’t want me to, but I topped a few guys in high school and college. It’s been a while.”
“Do you like it?”
“Yeah. I prefer to bottom, but I like topping every once in a while, I guess.”
He took a deep breath. “Would you… want to top me?”
My eyes widened in surprise, but all I said was, “Is that something you want to do?”
“I haven’t bottomed in years, but it’s something I used to enjoy. I just thought that maybe…” he trailed off.
I kissed his shoulder and said, “I’d love to fuck you, Cupcake.”
He huffed. “I can’t believe you’re still calling me that.”
“You have no one to blame but yourself.”
He laughed a little, then rolled onto his back and turned his head to face me. “Will you fuck me, Jalapeno?”
I smirked at that, then leaned in to kiss his lips. “Yes. So much yes.”
He moaned into my mouth as he turned his body into me and suddenly our hands were all over each other. I slid my hand under his shirt and played with his nipple, then ran my hand over his abs, around his side and over his ass, pulling his groin into my own. I slid my finger along the hem of his briefs, then managed to get my hand inside to knead his ass cheeks. I groaned into his mouth at the thought of making his ass mine. I broke our kiss to pull off both our shirts, then went ahead and pulled off my underwear before yanking down his.
He laughed. “Eager, are we?”
“Hell, yes. I’ve had dreams about taking your ass.” I trembled at the thought.
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
I shrugged and started kissing down his side as I spoke. “I didn’t think you bottomed.”
“Next time, use your words.”
“You’re one to talk.” I smacked his ass and pushed him to roll him on his stomach, then I started kissing down his back.
“Mmm.” He hummed and shivered, making me smile against his skin.
I made my way down his back to his ass where I grabbed his taut muscles and spread them so I could bury my face between his cheeks. He moaned and whimpered and panted as I rimmed him with everything I had. I’d never rimmed him before, though he’d rimmed me, and I was surprised by the noises that were coming out of his mouth. So many awesome sounds. When I lubed my fingers and began opening up his hole, while continuing my assault with my mouth, he started thrusting against the sheets and pushing back into me. I brushed his prostate and he screamed and bucked off the bed.
After he seemed prepped enough, I slid on a condom, lubed my cock and held it at his entrance. As I hovered over him, I took in all his back muscles and couldn’t help but lick and kiss his skin for a few seconds. “Are you sure you’re still good with this?”
“Fuck, yes,” he hissed, pressing back against me.
I pushed forward as he bared down and slowly, I made my way into his hot, tight channel.
“Jesus fucking Christ on a cracker,” I ground out.
He huffed out something that might have been a laugh, but turned into a moan when I thrust forward. I slowly made my way all the way to the hilt, then held still and kissed his shoulders, waiting for him to relax. When he pushed back against me, I slowly moved my hips back, then forward, making us both moan. Very gradually, I sped up. I was afraid to go too fast because he felt so damn good, I didn’t want to blow my load before he was ready. So I kept a slow, but forceful pace. I lay over his back and wrapped my arms under him. Declan pressed one palm against the headboard, using it to help press back onto me, and his other hand held onto one of mine. Declan kept pushing his ass back into me, and I was pretty sure he was getting some friction on his cock from the bed under him.
When I shifted my angle a little, Dec yelled out, “Oh god, do that again.” I thrust into him again. “Yes! Right there.” I thrust a few more times, hearing new and delicious sounds come out of him. “Fuck, babe, I’m not gonna last.”
“Me either,” I said through clenched teeth. I picked up the pace, pounding into him as fast and as hard as I could.
Suddenly, he screamed, and his channel squeezed and quivered around me so tight that I yelled out at the sudden force of my orgasm that’d snuck up on me. My body lit up in a pleasurable fire, sparks of bliss shooting through every inch of me as I spilled into the condom.
I came down from my incredible high and rested completely on top of Declan, kissing his shoulder and wrapping my arms under his shoulders to hug him. I whispered against his skin, “I love you, Declan.” He gasped a little, but I kissed his shoulder and he breathed out. I whispered again, “I love you. And I plan on telling you every fucking day, so get used to it.”
He huffed out a little laugh. “You forcing your love on me? Is that the plan?”
“Yep.”
After a minute, he turned his head and looked over his shoulder to kiss my lips. “Thank you.” I smiled at him. I knew he wasn’t ready to say it. I hadn’t expected him to and the fact that he was even acknowledging it was a feat in and of itself. I’d take whatever I could get.
And deep down, I knew that he felt the same way about me. If he didn’t, he would’ve sent me on my way a long time ago.
I pulled myself and the condom out of him, tied it off and got out of bed to throw it away. Then I pushed Declan until I forced him out of bed so we could change the sheets. He reluctantly went into the bathroom to clean himself up while I took care of the messy bed. By the time he came back, the bedsheets were ready, so we climbed into bed together and he pulled me into his arms, this time holding me so I was the little spoon. I snuggled back into him and used his biceps as a pillow. Monster jumped onto the bed suddenly—he must’ve snuck in when Dec opened the door—and the cat cuddled up against my stomach on top of the blanket. Dec and I both pet him for a minute before my boyfriend laced his fingers through mine and hugged me to him. We settled in for sleep with the cat lightly snoring away.
Right before we fell asleep, Dec said, “I got you something.”
“Huh?” I was groggy.
“I have something for you. Don’t let me forget to give it to you tomorrow before you go to work, okay?”
“Uh, I don’t have to work tomorrow,” I said with a yawn.
“But it’s Sunday, you always work on Sundays.”
I yawned again. “I asked Levi for the day off so we could hang out.”
He kissed the back of my neck. “Really?”
“Yep. I’ve been getting burned out, anyway, and I really wanted a whole day with you. This week was busy and I feel like I haven’t seen you enough.”
He kissed my shoulder. “You didn’t tell me you were doing that.”
I looked over my shoulder at him. It was dark, but my eyes had adjusted enough to see him since he was right beside me. “I’m sorry. I thought I told you. Do you already have plans?”
He smiled at me. “No, but if you would’ve told me, I could’ve planned something for us to do.”
I kissed his lips. “That’s sweet. But really, spending a day curled up on the couch with you, watching movies and eating snacks sounds like the most perfect day ever.”
He grinned and pecked my lips. “Sounds good to me.” I snuggled back down and he kissed my neck. “Goodnight, my Little Jalapeno.”
I smiled at that. “Goodnight, Cupcake. I love you.”
He didn’t say anything back, but the small hitch in his breath followed by the lingering, soft kiss on my neck spoke volumes.