Everyone else went home to get some sleep. It’s just Dane, Mickey, Brandon, and me.

Nico and Jazz struck up a quick friendship, and making my brother leave with my mom took some convincing.

Jazz is a sweet kid. I’ve gotten to know her when she pops into Kai’s for breakfast and even dropped her at class a few times.

She doesn’t deserve to be here right now, no kid does.

I’m not stupid, I know Kaija’s pulling away from me, I just don’t really know why. Physically tonight, and maybe even mentally.

It’s not like the past few weeks have always been perfect. We’ve had little arguments, discovered stuff about each other that annoyed us, but we talk through it.

We do it together.

I know it’s still considered early, but I…shit, I don’t see anything different happening for me. I’m in it, deep in it, but in the back of my mind, I can’t help but wonder if she’s not.

Maybe she’s been acting so weird because she’s trying to figure out how to break that to me. Not like I’m going to bring that up tonight though, she’s got enough shit going on.

I want to be here for her, comfort her, but every time she’s made it a point to step away from me, it knocks me down a little. Maybe I’m being a sensitive baby about it. That’s probably what Dane would say.

“Mickey’s barely keeping her eyes open, I’m going to take her home.” Brandon walks over, an annoyed but sleeping looking Mickey next to him.

“I told him I’m fine.”

“It’s alright, once Keyra and Kai come back, we’ll see them home too.” I glance over at Dane, who’s scrolling through his phone. I wonder if he’s here because we had plans or if he’s here for Keyra, but I don’t say it aloud.

I hug Mickey, and clap Brandon on the back, watching them go. I assume maybe Keyra and Kaija are squaring away the power of attorney stuff.

“I can’t believe her parents just gave someone else leeway on the medical stuff.” Dane and I are thinking the same.

“From what Kai’s mentioned about them, they’re not the most…loving family.”

“We got lucky with our moms.” He muses, rolling his phone around in his hands. He’s got stubble on his face already.

“Believe me, I know.” My mom was calling to tell me what time Nico’s game would be that weekend when I was on the way to the hospital. All I told her was that Keyra said Kaija needed me and was at the hospital, and she just asked for the address and said she’d meet us there.

“What happened to Kaija’s mom?”

“We haven’t really talked about it. I think her parents just split up, but she’s never mentioned talking to her or seeing her so I don’t know what that relationship is like.”

“Our mom just…got tired of family life.” We turn, and Keyra’s leaning against the wall behind us. Kai isn’t with her. She walks over and drops into a chair across from Dane and me, pulling her oversized cardigan closer.

It’s the least put together I’ve seen her since we met. Even her hair is in a loose bun and she’s got glasses on.

I didn’t take her for someone who wore glasses.

“She was a pretty accomplished woman. Had traveled, was a journalist in war-torn countries, a correspondent…she had a pretty full life. Then she got pregnant with me…then she got pregnant with Kai.”

“Then she just left?” It’s hard to wrap my head around that, I’ve always had my mom and she’s always made it clear how much she wanted us. I mean, our dad is a good friend and basically donated his sperm to her because she wanted kids more than she wanted a relationship.

We get together a few times a year with his full family, and we keep in touch on the phone and a few random visits since they live in California. It’s never felt like I had less than anyone else, and I don’t think Nico felt that way either but he’s had me being the older one.

“Yeah. Kai was 10, I was 14. I think if there was a bigger gap between Kai and me, maybe she’d have adjusted. But when she got pregnant with Kai, she was just starting to get back into the swing of her career. My dad wanted a more stay-at-home wife family situation, and that just wasn’t my mom.”

“Do you still talk to her?”

“Sometimes, yeah. She didn’t lie to us or just disappear. It’s probably why it didn’t damage us more. She sat us down one day with my father and told us that we were one of the most amazing accomplishments in her life, but she needed to take some time to find herself again. She would keep in touch and we could always call her if we needed her.”

“And did she? Keep in touch?” Dane probes, and maybe I imagine is, but his hand twitches towards her.

“Yep. She wrote letters and sent post-cards from where-ever she was and called us when she could. It was hard for a little bit because of course, Kai would ask when she was coming back, but eventually she just stopped asking and took it for what it was. Better than nothing.”

“That’s some shit straight out of a novel.” I whistle, sitting back. Where is Kaija?

“Keeps things interesting.”

“Where’s Kai?” Keyra hesitates for a second at my question and I feel that suspicious crawling in again.

“Right here.” Her voice is soft and she comes over, but doesn’t look at me. I stand and start to move towards her, but the little stutter-step back that she does sends me reeling a little.

Wow.

“Keyra and I have some things to take care of, so I’m just going to go with her.” When she looks at me, her face is unreadable. “I will call you tomorrow, let you know how Jazz is doing.”

“I can go with you, I don’t mind.” A small part of me warns that I might sound clingy, but I don’t want her pulling away from me like this. Not now when it seems like she’s bottling everything up.

“You can’t. You have camp again tomorrow, and I’m not going to come between you and your career. I’m a big girl, I can handle this and myself. You don’t need to babysit me.”

“I’m not trying to babysit you. I’m trying to be here for my girlfriend because I care about her.”

“It’s been a little over a month.” She rolls her eyes. “How much can you really care?”

You could hear a pin drop in the silence after her comment, but she doesn’t flinch or apologize. Just stares at me with steady eyes, like she’s daring me to say differently.

It’s not a fight I’m going to engage in tonight. I have a feeling I’d be the one picking myself up at the end of it. Because I’m more invested.

“I’m going to walk away, because I know you’re hurting and worried right now.” I pick up my phone and keys from my chair and Dane does the same, standing. “Keep me updated.”

“Sure.” Skeptical and non-committal.

I nod at Keyra, who gives me a reassuring smile and leave with Dane.

“Please don’t say anything about women.” I mumble, and Dane pats me on the back, chuckling.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, man. Wouldn’t dream of it.”