“Hey man, you ready?” Leo taps his stick to mine as we file out of the room, ready to hit the ice.

I’m not. I’m distracted as hell.

I think my girlfriend’s ghosting me and I can’t do shit about it without being a stalker.

She’s too tired.

She’s taking care of Jazz.

She’s doing appearances for her dad.

She’s volunteering.

She’s doing extra at the bar because her manager quit.

This has never happened to me. Girls don’t…fade on me. I…try not to fade them. You know, unless the situation calls for that.

Kaija’s got excuses on excuses.

It’s meant she doesn’t have time for me. We’ve started pre-season games, it’s not like I have a lot of free time, but shit! The free time I do have, I want to spend it with her.

And it’s not looking like she wants the same.

I fucking knew it, I knew that’s why she seemed so distant and secretive and it all just fucking came to head after Jazz being attacked.

I wish I could get in a room with the fucker that saw an opportunity to prey on a young girl.

Luckily, the man who helped pulled through.

I didn’t tell Kaija, but I went to his family, talked to his wife and told her not to worry about the medical bills. His family shouldn’t stress because he was being a good samaritan. Not everyone would’ve stepped in.

I skate out onto the ice on autopilot, going through the motions.

Maybe I’ll drop by the bar after the game. She can’t say she doesn’t have time for me then.

What if s—

SLAM.

I collide with the boards and a Devils player, apologizing when he cusses because I know it’s my fault. Shit. My head’s in the clouds.

I can’t think about this anymore.

* * *

“I think I need to end things with Kaija.”

Hanson rubs a towel over his short blonde hair. We tease him about looking like a cherub. The kid’s still young, got the best baby face.

“You chickening out?”

“Of what?”

“Commitment.” He pulls on a t-shirt and stands, walking to his locker.

“What do you mean? I’ve never been afraid of commitment.” I laugh, dapping our goalie as he passes.

“You dated one girl that was terrible and you’ve avoided doing it again ever since.”

“That’s not true. I’ve dated since Delia.”

“We’ve been friends for years, man. You know I’ve looked up to you for your game, and I was thrilled when you came to New York. But dating? Nope. You’ve gone through women like tissue paper.” He shakes his head.

I stand there after he walks away, stumped.

I’ve dated. Kind of. I mean, it’s not my fault I’ve mostly found women that seem to want to keep things simple. I can’t help who I click with.

And this isn’t my fault anyway!

Kaija’s the one pulling away, not me. I want to now, but only because she is.

“Dane.” I walk over, sitting down on the bench next to him while he texts someone.

“Honestly, it seems like both of you are looking for a way out now, so you might as well get it over with.” He answers without me asking anything. Shit.

“Yeah, but I wasn’t looking for one at first.”

“Does it matter? You are now. End it.” I open my mouth to counter, but I don’t have anything to say.

I said I wanted to end it. He’s saying end it. So what’s the problem?

What if I do just have commitment issues though…Am I running?

“You know what, I’ll even go with you for moral support.” He slaps me on the back, rising. “Come on, we’ll go to the bar, you can end it…then we’ll go to another bar.”

* * *

I walk into Pour House with Dane, moving through the crowd, and my damn palms are sweaty.

“Hey, is Kaija around?” I ask the bartender, and they gesture to the back of the bar, near the pool tables.

I haven’t seen her in days, and I falter for a second because she looks amazing. Even in just dark jeans and a tank top with the bar name on it. Her hair’s twisted up in a bun and she’s wearing glasses instead of her contacts.

She hates her glasses. They feel too bulky on her face.

I hesitate, but I forget Dane’s behind me and he nudges me.

“She’s been dodging you, go make her tell you what’s up. No sense for both of you to be dancing around something.” I can always count on him for a dose of reality.

“Yeah. Yeah. You’re right.” I head over there and before I even make it to her fully, I can smell her perfume.

Don’t bitch out. You deserve answers.

Right.

“Kaija? Can we talk?” She startles, turning and I see who she’s talking to and laughing with.

FUCKING CHARLIE.

“Are you fucking kidding me? You can’t make time to see me, but you’re chatting it up with him?” The words fly out of my mouth and I’m too damn annoyed to worry about it.

I’ve been one hundred percent honest with her, been as great of a partner as I could be and she’s been blowing me off but not Charlie.

“I don’t like your tone and I think you should evaluate before you say anything else.” She puts a fake smile on her face, keeping her voice low, but her eyes say she’s pissed off.

“Hey, is everything good?” Charlie stands and I turn to him, putting a hand up.

“Stay out of this. This doesn’t concern you.” I snarl, getting more angry by the second. “You trying to phase me out so you can be with him? That it? You had a change of heart?”

“If I did, so what? You don’t own me. I make my own decisions, and it’s not like we’ve been together that long.”

“When are you going to stop using that excuse? You need a time period before you accept your feelings?” I step closer, and she takes a small step back.

“The only feelings I have right now are that you need to get out of my bar.”

“No. Not until you stop acting like you’re the only one in this and tell me what’s been going on. If you want to end it, say that and stop being a bitch.”

“Alright man, I think you should g—“

“Charlie.” I angle towards him. “I’m going to break your nose if you don’t get the fuck out of my face.”

“You’re making a scene.” Kaija hisses, jerking my arm. “My office. Now.” She stalks away, and I take a breath.

Why the hell couldn’t she just say her office when I asked if I wanted to talk?

I follow her, walking past Dane who raises his beer at me with a sympathetic look on his face.

I close the office door behind me and when I turn around, she pushes me.

“What the hell is your problem? Walking into my place of business like a damned caveman, making demands like you have that right. Are you a child?”

“Are you a child?” I stare at her incredulously, mouth dropping. “You’ve been dodging me instead of being honest, but I’m the immature one.”

She crosses her arms, looking away. “I…I’ve been busy, and you know that. There is a lot going on and I thought you understood that.”

“What I understand is that you’re trying to fade on me and I want to know why.”

“You’re being ridiculous.” She raises her chin, stubborn, brown eyes cool. “I can’t be with you if you’re going to be controlling. I’m sorry, but I’m not in a place in my life right now where I can give you the time that you seem to need.”

“Are you really giving me it’s not me, it’s you right now? That’s what you’re reducing us to?” And she’s so damn calm about it, so matter-of-fact. “You’re going to pretend like you haven’t been distant for weeks and make it seem like I’m just asking for too much.”

“I’m not making it seem like anything. You are. And I can’t do it right now. And while we’re on the topic of asking for too much, I’ve been nothing but patient with you about letting me see what’s on the tape.”

“The TAPE! What does this have to do with that tape?” Have I stepped into an alternate reality? I’m fucking lost.

“I can’t go forward with you if you won’t even share that with me, when it so obviously affected you. I shared my past with you.”

“And you’ve been hiding something in the present. So how does that work?”

“I’m not hiding anything.” She almost makes it without any reaction, but her poker face is shit.

“You know what? I’ll send you the tape since it means so much to you, but consider it a parting gift. I’m done.” Why the hell did I want to stay in this anyway? She’s obviously checked out and I’m the last to get the memo.

“Okay. I hope you have a good season.” I don’t say anything, just walk out.

I’ve been played.

“Let’s go.” Dane looks up from his phone, sliding it to the side a little like he doesn’t want me to see who he’s talking to. What the fuck is it with everyone being secretive?

“You made up?”

“Nope. Broke up.” Even though he told me to do it, his face is surprised.

“Really?”

“What do you mean, really?” I walk out of the bar ahead of him, jamming my hands in my jacket.

“I mean…I just…I thought y’all would hash it out. Move on, all hunky dory and shit.”

“We hashed it out. And ended it.” I mumble, and we walk in silence.

“Sorry, man.”

“She wanted me to break up with her. It’s whatever. Got a season to focus on anyway.”

It was my mistake thinking anything good could come from it anyway.

I’m done making mistakes.