A loud knocking sound startled me and woke me in the middle of the night. Rolling over, I glanced at the bedside clock and saw that it was barely three. A shot of adrenaline had me bolt upright in bed. My immediate thought was that Shooter had found me. Then reason took over. If it was Shooter, then it was highly unlikely he’d knock. His style was to ambush and attack. Whoever it was, it sounded urgent. Maybe something was wrong with Drew or the children.
Hurrying now, I turned on the lights and headed into the living room. Thankfully, the door had a peephole and a porch light that illuminated the area. Drew had added a bright one as a safety measure that shone across half the yard. If it was Drew at the door, I wanted proof, although I couldn’t imagine why he wouldn’t phone first instead.
A man stood on the other side, wobbling back and forth on his feet as if struggling to find his balance. At first I didn’t recognize him and assumed he was one of Richard or Chuck’s friends.
Then I did.
It was Caden.
My brother.
My heart nearly burst inside my chest. I had wondered how I’d feel if I ever saw him again. Early on in my recovery I’d made the decision to avoid anything to do with my brother. As painful as it was to cut him free, I had to do what was best for my own emotional well-being.
I didn’t know how he’d managed to find me. My heart clenched at the sight of him and I struggled with what to do. As much as I wanted to turn my back and ignore him, I found I couldn’t. I didn’t know what he wanted, but I was stronger now and unwilling to be drawn into his drama. Then, I reasoned, if he had come to me, he must be desperate.
I undid the lock and opened the door. Caden pointed at me, then staggered a few steps. “Aren’t you going invite your baby brother inside?” he demanded.
“No. Go away, Caden, you’re drunk.” I took an involuntary step back. Even in the cold of the night, he reeked of alcohol. It’d been over four years since I’d last seen him and I almost hadn’t recognized my own brother. The years hadn’t been good to him, which led me to believe he was still hooked on drugs. “Caden, oh Caden, what’s happened to you?” I whispered, my heart breaking at the sight of him.
“I need my big sister. Won’t you help me, Shay? All I need is a few dollars to see me through.”
“Caden, I can’t…”
“Look at you in this fancy apartment, living the good life while your baby brother is sleeping on the street.”
He staggered forward and tried to grab hold of my shoulders. I managed to catch him by the shoulders so he didn’t stumble.
“I’ve been looking for you,” he said, slurring the words. “Needed your help but you didn’t want to see me, did you?”
“Caden, please, you have to understand, I’m not the same person I was four years ago. I’ve changed. I—”
“Bet you didn’t think I’d find you, did you?” he said, cutting me off. “Thought you could hide from me. Well, I’m smarter than you think. Smarter than you realize.”
I blinked, not knowing what to say or even if I should comment.
“I saw you, you know, that night you were out with that rescue team. Saw you with him.”
“Him?”
“That pastor friend of yours. He came…him and that other do-gooder, thinking they could help me. I recognized him and then followed him. I saw the two of you.” His laugh was maniacal. “You got something going with that preacher, don’t you? Imagine what Shooter would think if he knew. He’d laugh his fool head off. I did.”
I bristled, disliking his tone. I wondered if Caden knew what Shooter had done to me in an effort to find him. Probably not. “It’s time for you to leave,” I said as forcefully as I could and attempted once more to close the door.
“I ain’t leaving until you give me some money. Don’t tell me you don’t have it, living in this fancy place.”
I could see it wasn’t going to be easy to persuade him to walk away. I toyed with the idea of giving him a twenty and just as quickly changed my mind. If I started giving him money now it would be only the beginning. Soon he’d be coming to me for funds for his drinking and drugs and his needs would be endless. I couldn’t give in, no matter what.
“I can’t, Caden. I’m sorry, but I can’t give you any money.”
He blinked and scowled as if he didn’t believe me. His arms flung out as if he had trouble maintaining his balance.
Taking advantage of the opportunity, I started to close the door. Caden was too quick for me and put his foot in the way, stopping me. “Didn’t I tell you I wasn’t going to leave until you gave me what I came for? I can stand here all night if need be, but I’m not leaving until you do what’s right for your family.”
I shook my head, using every bit of determination I possessed to turn my back on my brother.
“Please. You’re my sister,” he pleaded, changing tactics. “You need to help me; it’s your duty. It’s what Mom would have wanted you to do.”
As hard as it was not to give in, no way would I let my brother manipulate me. “No, Caden, what Mom would want is for you to be clean and sober, and the last thing she’d want is for me to enable you to continue on this path of self-destruction.”
“Okay, fine,” he said, cursing at me, calling me terrible names. I regretted opening the door now and tried again to close it. Despite being drunk, Caden was surprisingly strong. As hard as I pushed, I was unable to get the door to budge.
I wasn’t going to allow him to verbally abuse me. “It’s time for you to go, Caden. Leave me alone and don’t come here again.”
He growled at me like a rabid beast.
I saw a police cruiser stop on the side of the street. The light Drew had installed must have illuminated the area, which was easily viewed from the street. “The police are here—”
“Cops. You bitch…” Again with the foul language, all directed at me. My brother used every foul word I had ever heard.
“Leave.” I shoved with all my might, hoping to close the front door. Caden yanked me forward and then, gasping with surprise and shock, I stumbled out into the cold. That was when my brother took a wild swing at me. Thankfully, I was able to step back in time to avoid getting hit. The action caused my brother to lose his balance and stagger sideways. It was a major accomplishment that he managed to remain upright, although he stumbled several feet before he could stop himself.
I groaned inwardly when I noticed two police officers getting out of their cruiser and running across the lawn.
As soon as Caden saw the police, he cursed me again and took off in a desperate run. One of the officers raced in pursuit while the second approached me.
“Are you okay?” the female officer asked.
“I…think so,” I said.
“We saw what happened. Do you want to press assault charges?”
“No. He’s drunk or worse.” I wanted to explain that I hadn’t seen him in years but I didn’t get a chance. When Caden realized he wasn’t going to be able to outrun the officer, he turned to face the man and reached for a knife. As soon as the female officer saw the weapon, she left me to assist her partner.
I couldn’t see what happened next, but I heard the officer call into her mike, “Officer down, officer down.”
The policeman who had gone after Caden was on the ground, grabbing hold of his side, and the female officer had her gun drawn on Caden. I realized then that my brother had stabbed the first officer.
My first thought was to try to help, to do what I could to talk to my brother, calm him down. Instinctively I realized any effort I made would simply add to the chaos. The only thing I could do was stay out of the way.
Sirens blared in the distance. Caden was restrained and arrested and the injured officer was taken by an aid car to a local hospital. I was in the middle of being interviewed when Drew came out. I’d never been so grateful to see anyone.
He ran across the yard and grabbed hold of me in a fierce hug. “What happened? Dear God, are you all right?”
“I’m fine. It was Caden.”
“Sir,” the female officer intervened, “if you could wait a few minutes, we need to finish our interview?”
Drew didn’t release me but held me close to his side. I noticed he was trembling. I knew that seeing the police and the aid car had given him a fright. He must have assumed the worst.
To the best of my ability, I answered the officer’s questions. Before they finished, I had a few questions of my own. “What will the charges be?”
“He’s under arrest.”
That much I knew, seeing that he’d been hauled away in handcuffs.
“He’ll be charged with assaulting an officer, public drunkenness, and resisting arrest.”
This wasn’t sounding good.
“He’s looking at some serious jail time,” she told me.
I closed my eyes, wishing things had turned out differently. Reading between the lines of what Caden had said, Drew and Kevin had found him and offered him help. It was clear Caden wasn’t interested. That being the case, there wasn’t anything I could do for him. I certainly wasn’t giving him money. He assumed I was an easy touch. I had been at one time, but no more.
After the police left and the medical people had driven away, my pulse gradually returned to normal. Drew’s arms were around me as he whispered, “Let me make you a cup of coffee so we can talk this out.”
Sleeping now would be impossible, and it wasn’t that long before I was due at the café. “Okay.”
Drew waited while I changed into my work uniform, and then, taking me by the hand, he walked me back to his house. The children had managed to sleep through the commotion, which was a blessing. Drew pulled out a stool at the kitchen counter, then drew me into his arms, sighed, and kissed the top of my head.
“You can’t imagine what went through my head when I heard those sirens and saw that police car pull up. I think I died a thousand deaths until I realized that it wasn’t there for you.”
My arms circled his middle and I hugged him close. “My brother was half out of his mind.”
“He was drunk, Shay, and probably high, too.”
After what had transpired in the last hour, there could be no doubt Drew was right. “He said something about you and a man I can only assume was Kevin coming to talk to him. That wasn’t you, was it?”
Drew went still and a look of regret came over him.
“It was you?”
He nodded.
“And Kevin?”
Again he nodded.
“When did this happen?”
“I’m sorry, Shay. I would have mentioned it, but—”
“When?” I asked again, needing answers. I’d already guessed his reasons, but I wished he’d discussed his plans with me first and given me a warning. I knew Richard had made it his mission to find and help Caden. My homeless friend seemed to think he was doing me a favor. I’d tried to explain that it was best if Caden stayed out of my life. Richard accepted that but still thought he might be able to help my brother. I’d reluctantly agreed, with the promise that Richard not tell Caden where I lived.
“Kevin spoke with him this afternoon, but your brother remembered me from before and knew we were connected.”
“Richard found him and told you?” I asked, wondering why my friend would mention it to Drew.
Drew looked uneasy. “I helped Richard. After what happened with Shooter, I wanted to do everything I could to protect you. I thought if Richard found Caden that Kevin could talk him into getting into a rehab program.”
Drew’s intentions were good, I realized. He’d never meant to lead Caden to my doorstep. The entire situation had blown up in his face, and unfortunately, mine.
“Lilly found a photo of you and Caden when she moved you to the apartment,” Drew confessed. “She showed it to me and I made a copy and took it to Kevin. Once we had the photograph, it didn’t take long for one of his contacts to locate him. Caden is going by the name Shane now.”
“I wish you’d discussed all of this with me first.” I gestured with my hands, letting him know this all might have been avoided if I’d known what Drew had done. His intentions were well-meaning, but it would have helped had I been aware that Caden was living in the Seattle area. The last I’d heard he was in California. From the first I’d hoped to avoid a confrontation with Caden, although one was probably inevitable at some point.
Drew held my eyes, his own wide and pleading for understanding. “I wanted to tell you about Caden before Kevin and I went to see him, but there wasn’t time; this could well have been our only opportunity.”
“I wish I’d known…I would have been better prepared.”
“I know…the situation got out of hand. I don’t know how he found you.”
“He followed you and he saw the two of us together.”
Drew paled and he briefly closed his eyes. “In looking to protect you I led him to your front door. Shay, I am so sorry.” He wrapped me in his arms and held me tight against his torso. “I feel dreadful that this happened to you. It’s all my fault.”
“Stop,” I whispered, unwilling to let Drew shoulder the blame. Knowing my brother, eventually he would have found me. He wouldn’t have easily given up. I noticed that Caden hadn’t asked about me or what had happened after he disappeared when he got the five thousand dollars. All Caden was concerned with was his next high, whether from drugs or alcohol.
“Kevin offered to help him, get him into rehab, but Caden didn’t want anything to do with that.”
That came as no surprise. It would take more than a few words to reach my brother. He was lost, trapped in a web that held him in a tight grip. He was at a point where he couldn’t see a way out of the black hole into which he’d fallen. He was lost and hopeless, angry and defiant. I couldn’t take on his problems, but at the same time I couldn’t stop caring what happened to him.
“I know you don’t want to hear this, but I believe jail might be the best thing for him now. It will sober him up. Once his head is clear he might be willing to listen to reason.”
I lowered my head to our folded hands. “I hope you’re right.”
Leaning forward, Drew kissed my cheek. “I would never intentionally do anything to hurt you, Shay. I love you.”
My head came up. I knew how I felt about Drew but had never told him. I held his look, uncertain I’d heard him correctly. His smile was gentle, and he seemed to be awaiting a reaction. “Did you just say you love me?”
“So much it frightens me.”
A smile broke out across my face and I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his, savoring the sweetness of the moment. “I love you, too, Drew Douglas, so much. Let’s be frightened together.”