My sermon series inspired by popular movies had gained a lot of local attention. The religion editor for The Seattle Times had heard about it, and unbeknownst to me visited the church one Sunday. The next week he wrote his column about the topic of my message. Since then, every pew in the church had been filled for the last two weeks.
Again, I had Shay to thank for the idea, which had inspired other similar ideas. I’d decided my next sermon series would be on ten of the most popular downloaded songs from iTunes. I’d been listening carefully to the lyrics. I believed songwriters were the sages of their generation and said a lot about the society in which we live. I’d done a bit of research on the artists’ backgrounds along with their lyrics. My goal was how best to relate the words of the music to Scripture and then apply it to life.
I stood in the lobby as the choir sang the final hymn, preparing to greet my church family as they exited the building. My heart was full. For the first time in a long while I felt effective as a pastor. My sermons were being well received and I seemed like I was reaping the rewards of the years I had invested in the ministry.
As I was getting ready to head over to the house for dinner, Alex Turnbull sought me out. His look was dark and serious. For just a few minutes I was tempted to turn away. Alex had been a thorn in my side even before the incident involving Shay and her brother. He’d made his opinion of Shay clear. He wanted her gone, and if not her, then me.
To be fair, I had to admit that he’d accepted the defeat of his vote of confidence with good grace. I appreciated that he didn’t hold any resentment. He’d accepted the support of the other elders and had gone out of his way to show his support since that time.
“Do you have a few minutes, Pastor?” he asked.
Making a show of checking my watch, I let him know my family was waiting for me to join them for our noonday meal. I’d already left them waiting longer than I planned.
“It won’t take more than a couple minutes,” he insisted.
“Sure.” It was probably best to discuss this now rather than later, I reasoned.
He hesitated, which was odd, seeing that he seemed eager to chat. “This is a delicate matter. Perhaps it would be best if we talked about this in your office.”
Apparently this was more serious than I realized. “Sure.”
Alex followed me to my office and entered after me, closing the door. I leaned against the edge of my desk.
“I realize, Pastor, that you and I have had our differences over the last few weeks. I hope you understand this has nothing to do with any of that.”
While it was true we tended not to agree, especially when it came to Shay, I didn’t hold any resentments. I let Alex know that. “True enough, but I also accept that you have always had the church’s best interests at heart, as do I.”
“I appreciate you saying that.”
“The church is doing well,” I commented. “Better than it has in a long while.”
No denying that attendance was up substantially. “But you’re here because you believe there’s a problem,” I said, urging him toward the reason for this meeting.
Alex stiffened and stared down at the carpet for several seconds as if gathering his resolve. “It gives me no pleasure to tell you this.”
“What is it, Alex?” He was beginning to worry me.
“It’s about Shay.”
My relaxed pose instantly dissolved and I straightened and crossed my arms. It bothered me that he’d targeted Shay almost from the first moment she’d come into my life. I couldn’t imagine what she had ever done to deserve this man’s dislike. “What now?” I demanded.
Alex met my eyes and I read a mixture of emotions, the most prominent one was regret. “I know you think I carry hard feelings about what happened with her a few weeks ago. That incident with her brother.”
“She had no control over that situation, as you well know.” I refused to let Alex blame Shay for her brother’s behavior, especially when I was the one who had led him to her.
“I was never keen for the church to rent her the apartment. In the last few weeks, though, I’ve had a change of heart.”
I relaxed somewhat, encouraged by the news.
“Shay has been great,” Alex said. “I’ve kept a close eye on her and there’s nothing she isn’t willing to tackle. She volunteered to work in the nursery this morning, rocking the babies when the woman who was scheduled had to stay home with a sick child.
“Last week, Shay filled in for one of the Sunday school teachers at the last minute.”
I knew about both incidents. The children in the Sunday school class had loved Shay. She’d been creative and fun. She’d told the story of the Good Samaritan and asked the children what they would do if they saw someone in need. Then she had them write letters she planned to give to Richard and Chuck to let the men know they were loved.
This morning I noticed the bin for the collection for the food bank was full and I was convinced it was because Shay had opened the children’s eyes to the needs of those less fortunate.
“When I saw that Lloyd Kincaid wasn’t able to fulfill his duty because of his recent surgery, I was mildly surprised that Linda asked Shay, on Lloyd’s behalf, to fill in for him.”
Lloyd counted the money from the collection basket and readied the bank deposit for Monday morning.
Uncrossing my arms, I grew still and struggled to hide my defensive posture. “Why are you surprised, Alex?”
The head elder clenched his hands into tight fists, clearly uncomfortable and irritated. “It isn’t a secret that Shay went to prison for embezzlement.”
“She’s never tried to hide it,” I reminded him.
Alex gestured with his hands. “Most churches wouldn’t ask someone with that kind of history to count and deposit donations.”
“Were you aware that Hope Center plans to hire Shay as their bookkeeper?” I asked him. This was my way of letting him know that Hope Center trusted Shay and I didn’t feel we could do any less.
Alex nodded. “I heard. But bookkeeping is a bit less tempting than dealing with cash on hand, don’t you think?”
“What are you saying, Alex?” I asked, growing tired of this discussion.
He exhaled and pinched his lips together before he spoke. “Pastor, I am concerned for Shay, fearing she is being put in a position of temptation.”
“Shay would never steal from the church.” I would stake my retirement fund on it. “The only reason she stole the money was to save her brother.”
Alex nodded. “Her brother is in trouble again, isn’t he?”
It was hard for me to control my patience. “Yes, but Shay has no contact with him. Alex, please, what’s your point? My family is waiting.”
With a look of deep concern, he edged toward me. “Last week before the collection was given to Shay to count out for the bank deposit, I added up the cash donation myself.”
Cash wasn’t uncommon, but most parishioners contributed to the church either online or by writing a check. The cash donations generally came in small bills.
“And?” I asked, seeing that there was obviously more Alex had to tell me.
“It came to three hundred and twenty-five dollars in cash.”
“And?”
“The deposit slip showed only three hundred dollars. Twenty-five dollars was missing.”
“You could have easily added the amount incorrectly,” I insisted.
“I thought the same thing,” Alex agreed. “I wrote it off as a problem with my addition. Twenty-five dollars isn’t a large amount. However, to err on the side of caution, I decided that I would do the same thing this week.”
“Without Shay knowing what you were doing?”
“Correct.”
“And?” From the flow of this conversation, it didn’t take a genius to figure out what he was about to tell me.
“There was a hundred-dollar discrepancy.”
My heart fell and I closed my eyes while I struggled to find a plausible explanation. “The elders gather the collection plates,” I offered, although there wasn’t one I wouldn’t trust with my life. I’d known these men and women for the entire time I’d been at Seattle Calvary and found them completely trustworthy.
“Unfortunately—or fortunately, as the case may be—I was extra-careful to keep tabs on the money collected today. The only person who had access to the cash is Shay.”
“You’re sure?” I had a hard time believing it.
“Positive.”
With nothing more to say, I nodded. “I’ll take care of it.”
Alex reached out and touched my sleeve. “Drew, I really didn’t want to be the one to tell you this. It hurts me, knowing how much faith you’ve put in her. I know you have strong feelings for Shay.”
“I do.”
To his credit, Alex looked utterly miserable. “I’m sorry.”
As best I could, I accepted his apology. I’d take a day to mull this over before I confronted Shay. While everything within me screamed she would never steal from the church, I also knew Alex wouldn’t stoop to lying about something this serious.
To complicate matters, Shay was at the house with the children. It had become part of our routine for her to join Mark, Sarah, and me for Sunday dinner.
My thoughts were heavy as I walked toward the house, my steps slowing with regret and worry as I approached.
Sarah had the door open even before I got to the porch. “We’ve been waiting and waiting.”
“Sorry, sweetheart, I had a quick business meeting.” I kissed the top of her head as I entered the house.
“I’m hungry and so is Shay.”
“Where’s Mark?” I asked. Generally he was one of the first to the table. He’d been going through a growing spurt and seemed to be hungry all the time.
“In his room. I don’t think he’s feeling well,” Shay told me.
Welcoming the excuse to escape for a few minutes, I sought out my son. Sure enough, he was lying on top of his bed, looking miserable. I sat on the edge of his mattress and pressed my hand over his forehead. “You feeling sick, buddy?”
“Yeah.” If he wasn’t playing his videogame or had his face stuck in his iPad, I knew something was wrong.
He didn’t feel feverish. “Upset stomach?”
Mark nodded. “Yeah. It’s cramping. You aren’t going to force me to eat chicken noodle soup, are you?”
“Not unless that’s what you want.”
“I’d rather stay here and sleep, if that’s all right.”
“Sure. Call me if you need anything.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
Although Mark was at the age where he didn’t appreciate displays of affection from his father, I leaned down and kissed his forehead.
“Dad,” Mark groaned. “I’m not a kid.”
“You’ll always be a kid to me,” I said, struggling not to smile. His grandmother had knit him an afghan that was neatly folded at the foot of his bed. I reached for it and pulled it up over Mark’s shoulders. As soon as the knitted piece settled over him, Mark’s eyes drifted shut.
I closed the door as I left his room.
“Is Mark okay?” Shay asked as she finished dishing up the pot roast and potatoes with carrots.
“He might be coming down with something. He wants to sleep, and I think that’s probably a good idea.”
Shay carried the platter over to the table and sat down with Sarah on one side and me on the other. She automatically stretched out her arms for the three of us to link hands while I said the blessing.
For a moment, my words faltered before I could continue. When I finished, I opened my eyes and looked at Shay.
She must have noticed my scrutiny because she caught my eye and smiled softly. Looking at her now, so breathtakingly lovely, I found it hard to look away. It seemed impossible to believe she would steal from the church. Steal from me. Surely she understood what that would do to our relationship.
Although dinner was cooked to perfection, I had little to no appetite. Sarah insisted she play a game of Yahtzee with Shay after we finished with the meal. I was grateful, unsure if I would be able to keep up the pretense that nothing was wrong much longer.
“I’ll do the dishes,” I volunteered.
“We should all help,” Shay suggested.
“Dishes?” Sarah moaned as if I’d asked her to clear the church parking lot of snow with a single shovel. “Daddy, please. I’ve been wanting to play Yahtzee forever, but Shay said we had to wait until after dinner.”
“It’s fine,” I insisted. “I’ll do the dishes.”
Shay and Sarah played the dice game and I used the time stacking dishes in the dishwasher as an excuse to avoid talking to Shay.
She noticed, though. I knew she would. I’d never been good at hiding my feelings.
After I finished the dishes, I checked on Mark and wasn’t surprised to find him asleep. If he wasn’t feeling better in the morning, I’d keep him home from school. I left my son’s bedroom and carefully closed the door so I wouldn’t wake him. I found Shay standing behind me in the long hallway.
“Mark’s sleeping,” I whispered.
Shay’s gaze held mine. “Any problems over at the church?” she asked.
Her question left me wondering if she knew about the missing money. Made me wonder why she hadn’t mentioned it.
Stop.
I would ask her. That was the fair thing to do. But first I needed to consider how best to pose the question. For me to ask was major. I wanted her to know I trusted her and believed in her. At the same time, if something had happened that I didn’t know about, some reason she would need that money, then I had to give her the space to explain. How I approached her would take consideration and I needed to mull it over.
“Drew? Church? Problems?”
“Nothing I can’t handle,” I answered, hoping that would be the end of her questions.
Her eyes bored into mine.
She knew.
I could tell simply by the way she looked at me. Right away I detected a subtle change in her. For the first time since I could remember, she couldn’t look me in the eye. My stomach muscles tightened and it felt as if a three-hundred-pound man had climbed onto my back and was pressing me down. I struggled not to slouch forward.
Soon after our brief exchange, she left. For the first time in a very long while, I was grateful to see her go.
What Alex hadn’t said, but seemed to imply, was that each week the amount would rise. The first couple weeks were probably a test to see how much the thief could get away with before anyone noticed.
My heart was sick. It was almost as if I had a case of the flu.
“Daddy?” Sarah said, coming to sit next to me. “Are you sick, too? Like Mark?”
I offered my daughter a soft smile and placed my hand on the top of her head. “I’m not feeling good, either, I’m afraid.”
“Do you have the flu?”
“I don’t know.” How could one explain to a child that what I suffered from was a troubled heart?