Chapter Eleven

AYRIE

I raced up the hill with a pile of hastily gathered fire plant tumbling out of my arms. My bare feet pounded on the ground. The rocks hurt when they tore the soft flesh of my feet. Years of living on a starship had not prepared my body for barefoot running.

Nothing was more important to me right now than getting Elle off the island. She wasn’t eating, and I didn’t want her to get sick again. I needed to get on the hill and start a fire.

When I reached the top, breathless and heart pounding, I dropped to my knees and got to work. After I had dropped the flint twice, I slowed down and began taking my time. It wouldn’t do to rush and make mistakes. When the fire plant started burning, I began feeding green leaves into the fire. Thick smoke filled the air, and I began to choke. The wind shifted direction, sending clouds of black smoke over me. I stumbled back to get out of it, coughing and rubbing my watering eyes.

It took a minute before I could see properly again. I thought the ship was getting larger. I could almost believe it was coming to the island and we were saved. But it changed course, and I watched it begin sailing away.

If it weren’t for Elle’s illness, I would be content to stay here forever with her. Just the two of us, with no responsibilities and no worries.

We had to get back to civilization.

I had no idea how we were going to do it.

ELLE

As I watched Ayrie trudge across the beach toward me, I knew he had seen the same thing I did. He dropped to the sand beside me, pulled his knees up and rested his forehead on them without looking at me.

“I’m sure another ship will come along soon.” Wouldn’t it?

“We’re in a dead zone, Elle.” He sounded tired. “It’s not a geographic limitation. It’s because our patch of ocean isn’t useful for anything, according to the natives. They don’t care if people can access a network when they’re on the island. We’re not supposed to be here.”

“Didn’t you say your friend was in the dead zone?”

“Yes, but only because he’s doing research on the ocean.” Ayrie lifted his head to look at me. “It’s not because there are people or other ships. He tries to come out here to do studies without the interference of anyone else. He and his wife are still trying to invent a plan for an underwater building.”

“But Ayrie...”

“Let’s be honest with ourselves. The ship we just saw might have been our only chance off the island. They didn’t see our smoke. We’re in trouble.”

“There must be something we can do.” I didn’t know anything about traveling away from Earth. Wasn’t there a space equivalent of the Boy Scouts?

“We can improve the shack, I guess. We’ll plant a garden and settle down.”

“Do you really think no one will pass by for a long time?”

“No, I don’t.” His tone sounded exaggerated as if he were explaining something to a small child. “I don’t think we should hope that someone will rescue us.”

His tone irritated me. He didn’t need to act like a jerk. How was I supposed to know what he was thinking? Ayrie stood up and walked away from me. When he returned, he had a pensive expression on his face.

“Unless...”

“Unless what?”

He held up his hand for silence. “Let me think for a minute.” He sounded curt.

I felt hurt. We had been treating each other so well before. At the first sign of trouble, Ayrie was back to acting rude to me. Well, fuck that. I felt more pissed off at him than I ever had before.

“Weren’t you thinking when you walked away? Can you think without being uncivil? You’re shutting me out again. Whatever we have, island fever maybe, is going to vanish in a puff of smoke when we get back to the ship.”

“That’s not going to happen.” He looked upset, but I didn’t care. “I don’t want that.”

“You could have fooled me.” I stood. I was getting so angry that I couldn’t sit still any longer. “I don’t know why you’re spending your time trying to get us off the island. If things are going to be like this, I don’t want to go.”

“You don’t want to leave? You must be feeling sick. We need to get off this island and find you proper food and a doctor, Elle.”

“I don’t have a problem. Poor Elle. She’s so weak and helpless. She always needs someone to bail her out of the trouble.”

I stomped my foot onto the sand. “Fuck that.” I shouted the words into his face.

Ayrie looked angrier than I had ever seen him before. A jolt of fear went through me.

My next move wasn’t intentional. Ayrie reached a hand up to run it through his hair, and I ducked. I flinched away from his hands, thinking he was going to hit me.

The look on his face made me feel like I had struck him. His shoulders slumped down, and his head dropped. “Did you think I was going to hurt you?” The energy in his voice disappeared.

“I didn’t mean to do that. I trust you.” I felt like I should have said something different. The words sounded pathetic. I should have given him a convincing argument.

He looked like I had betrayed him. “No. You don’t.”

My anger rose again. “Ayrie, give me a break. If anything, you’re the one who doesn’t trust me. You’re afraid I’m going to die for no reason. You won’t let yourself trust me with your heart because you’re scared you’ll get it broken.” He looked furious, but I didn’t care. I was determined to tell him the truth. I wasn’t going to hold anything back. I moved toward him and poked him in the chest. “Here’s a news flash for you. Life comes with pain, but that’s why you love and trust. It makes up for everything else.”

Emotions moved across his face so quickly that I couldn’t name them. “Elle, you think I don’t trust you?”

“If you did, we wouldn’t be standing here right now. We’d be back on the ship, and there would be a bond between us.”

His chest rose and fell. A lock blond hair fell into his eyes, and he pushed it out. The next thing he said came out like a growl. “Do you want me to prove I trust you?”

I nodded.

“What if I showed you something that’s supposed to be a secret? Would that convince you?”

I swallowed. I hadn’t been thinking about anything like that, but I supposed it would do. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know a secret about Ayrie, though. In my life, secrets were always bad.

Don’t tell, Elle. No one needs to know. You made me mad. It was your fault. They won’t believe you anyway. We’ll keep this between us. Wear long sleeves to hide the marks. Shhh. Keep quiet. If you tell, I’ll hurt you again.

What if it changed everything between us? What if he was a terrible person and I hadn’t realized it before? I didn’t have a record of success at picking out good people from bad.

Ayrie started to walk into the jungle. I felt confused. Was this what he was trying to show me? Or was he so angry he couldn’t stand to look at me any longer?

Maybe he had decided to live on the hilltop while I stayed at the shack. We would be separate for the rest of our lives, stuck on an island together but never speaking to each other. It would be a personal hell for me.

I should have known the happiness wouldn’t last. It never had before.

I didn’t think he was coming back. I waded into the warm water, hoping the ocean would take away my problems. I floated on my back, staring up at the sky and trying to find the sense of peace I had discovered yesterday.

It eluded me. All I could think about was Ayrie’s angry expression and how he had left me without looking back or saying anything.

I left the water. I decided I would return to camp and start making the evening fire before gathering some food. I shouldn’t have pushed him so hard, but I needed something more from my life. If he was only willing to give part of himself to me, I didn’t want any of it.

I covered my face with my hands. That wasn’t true at all. I wanted whatever scraps of Ayrie he was willing to throw at me. I would take anything, and I was going to get nothing. Bitter tears streamed down my face when I realized I had pushed him away and made him leave. I had no one to blame but myself.

The sun dropped, making it cooler on the beach but I didn’t move off it. I couldn’t stop crying knowing I had dismissed the person who mattered the most.

A loud thump sounded nearby. I looked up and saw Ayrie. I hadn’t heard any footsteps because he hadn’t walked up to me. He stood before me, shirtless and bare-chested with large white wings that went from above his head to below the knees. He looked nervous, and his attitude surprised me. I tried to process what I saw, but I couldn’t make sense of it. One thought ran through my head.

Ayrie was an angel.