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Ayrie: An Auxem Novel by Lisa Lace (62)

Chapter Twenty

SAMANTHA

The pain in my heart made me deaf to the shouting around me. I couldn't breathe. The feeling of losing Jori was suffocating me. Someone pushed me aside, and I let them go by, not caring at this point. I was lost in the agony because it was my fault. He trusted me to save him. I wasn't fast enough. I wasn't good enough.

Through the fog of my misery, I heard my name, and it pulled me out of myself for a moment.

"Where's Samantha?" I heard Nat shouting. Then I heard him swear. I took my hands away from my eyes to see him kneeling beside me.

"There's a chance. Don't cry. I know he looks bad, but he wasn't underwater for a long time."

I stared at him. Was Jori dead or not?

"The medic says they might be able to bring him back. They think he was only out for a minute or two before we pulled him up. They're going to start working on him now.

Before he finished, I was on my feet and running to Jori. There were two people next to his body, the medic and a sailor who had first-aid training. Everyone else stood a respectful distance away.

I dropped down beside him and touched his hand. The medic had resuscitation machines hooked up to Jori's body. All I could do was wait. I watched his chest, praying for him to breathe.

Please come back to me, Jori, because I don't think I can live without you.

I stared at his chest, willing it to rise. When I saw movement, it was difficult to believe. The medic smiled. Nat let out a whoop. I sat still.

I almost lost the love of my life before I had a chance to tell him how I felt.

JORI

I woke up feeling disoriented. The last thing I remembered was going unconscious and waiting to be eaten.

When I remembered Harrington said he was going to hurt Sam, my eyes shot open.

"Sam," I yelled. Or tried to. My voice wasn't working regularly. My cry came out as little more than a croak.

"She's okay. Don't worry, Jori."

It was Nathaniel. My vision was blurry and I waited until I only saw one of him.

"Hey, man," he said smiling. There was a glimmer in his eyes I hadn't seen since I was a boy. He finally knew the truth. He wasn't disappointed in me anymore.

"Did Sam tell you," I asked.

"She told me some things. But I'd like to hear it from you. The short version, if you don't mind. The medication appears to be clouding your mind."

"The government approached me to work for them in high school. When you thought I was going to university, I was in training at the same time."

He shook his head, an incredulous look on his face.

"It was crazy. They offered me a job as a secret agent and I took it. I thought it would be the coolest thing in the world." I stared across the room.

"I guess it turned out differently than you imagined," Nat said, watching me carefully.

"If you take losing my name, my family's trust and a normal life together, it wasn't ideal."

"How did you end up in jail?"

"One of my buddies that I was close to — all a part of my undercover work, of course — set me up to take the fall. Harrington tipped you off that I was involved. You know the rest of the story."

"I'm sorry," Nathaniel said.

"No," I frowned. "I'm the one who's sorry, Nathaniel. For lying to you all these years. For making you think I was a big asshole and acting like such a jerk."

He looked at me with compassion. "It was all an act?"

"Every second."

He took my hand. "You're forgiven. You didn't have a choice, little brother."

I drew in a shuddering breath. I wasn't going to cry. This was good news. Nathaniel had forgiven me; I hoped Freya would too. It was overwhelming to have only the truth between my brother and me.

I smiled. "You don't know how long I've waited for you to say that, Nathaniel," I said, giving his hand a squeeze.

"Hey," he said, changing the subject before we both broke down. "I wanted to talk to you about something."

"What's that?" I said, curious.

"Well, Ash and I were thinking about your future. What are you going to do for a job?"

"I hadn't thought that far ahead." What was he going to say?

"Ashlyn and I need someone trustworthy to manage the projects in the Northern Isles. Do you think you might be up for it?"

Nathaniel trusted me again. He was talking about his baby. His life's work was the housing project. He had rejected countless applicants because they weren't right and he wasn't sure if they would do the job properly. Maybe I couldn't hold it together after all.

"I might be," I said, grinning and blinking back the tears. "I might just be."

SAMANTHA

I sat by Jori's bed at Nathaniel's house. They had brought him back here for recovery. There was already a doctor in the house looking after Kathryn, so Nat thought it would be best to bring Jori to a familiar place rather than the hospital.

He slept most of the time and we hadn't talked since he had nearly died. It was the fourth day already. I was trying to be patient.

On the first day, I was content to sit and watch him breathe, happy that he still could. On the second day, I held his hand all day long, glad that he was warm, dry, and safe. On the third day, I started getting restless. How long was it going to take? Today, I thought I wouldn't be able to stand it if he didn't wake up and talk to me.

I knew that Nathaniel had caught Jori in a lucid moment and Jori had told him the truth. Why wouldn't he wake up so I could apologize and beg him for forgiveness?

I got up from a chair that sat by his bedside and paced back and forth around the room. I stood by the window and looked out at the beautiful, dangerous sea. The thought of Jori's near demise made me shiver.

"Sam?" Ashlyn poked her head into the room. "How are you doing?" She came over to the window next to me.

"I'm okay, I guess. I wish he'd wake up and talk to me, so I can be sure he's okay."

"I know it's hard to wait. Soon he'll be back. Everything will be back to normal."

"I don't know, Ashlyn. I let him down. He trusted me, and I let him die."

"Sam," she said. She sounded anguished. "You saved him. You escaped and found Nat. You got there in time. You did a good job, Sam. What do you mean?"

"If I'd been there sooner, it wouldn't have been such a close call. If I had climbed down the tree more quickly, or run a little faster, or not hesitated to crawl through that dark little hole, Jori would be fine right now." I stared out the window, frowning as I remembered how long it had taken me to work up the nerve to crawl into the tunnel again.

Ashlyn held up her hands.

"Wait a second. Are you saying that you climbed down a tree? How tall was it?"

"Two stories."

"And you crawled through a hole? I thought you were afraid of heights, Samantha," she said.

"I wouldn't call it afraid. They make me nervous."

"Sounds the same to me," she said. "And I thought you hated small spaces because of the accident you had when you were little."

"I do hate small spaces, especially when they're dark and underground." I shuddered, remembering.

"You're a brave girl, Samantha. The Samantha I knew would have stayed locked up instead."

"I had to, Ash. I was the only one who could fit through the bars."

"You must love him," she murmured.

"But don't you see, Ash. I almost let him die. Look at him now," I said, gesturing to where Jori lay on the bed, his face mottled with bruises.

Jori's eyes opened. He looked right at me.

"I'm going to be fine, Sam. Stop worrying," he said. His voice was hoarse.

Ashlyn smiled at me. "I'll check on Kathryn. She's doing much better today, and she will be waking up soon."

She ducked out of the door, shutting it firmly behind her. I stared at Jori. All the pain, worry, and love for him mixed around inside me and wanted to escape.

"Come here," he said. He didn't take his eyes off of me as I walked over to the bed and stood away from him.

"Were you listening to us?" I said in a small voice.

"I heard enough," he said, lifting his hand weakly. "Come here, Sammy. I want to touch you and make sure you're near me. Are you sure you're not hurt?"

"Why would I be hurt?" I said, sitting down on the bed. He took my hand and interlaced our fingers. "My arm was bruised, just like you said. I recovered days ago."

"Harrington told me he was going to hurt you and then kill you." His eyes clouded. "It was the last thing I thought about before passing out."

I stared at our linked hands.

"It's my fault you were down there," I said, softly.

"No, it's not. You were a heroine. Did you see this picture Maria drew? If a kid thinks you're a hero, it must be true." There was a drawing of a man and a woman wearing superhero capes on the wall beside his bed. Maria had written our names underneath. Jori gazed at me. His green eyes looked calm and tender, but I couldn't stand to stare at him.

"Sammy," he said. "Look at me."

I reluctantly lifted my eyes to his.

"I forgive you for whatever you think you need to be forgiven for. You did save me. And I know how hard it was to climb down the tree and go through the hole again. But you did it anyway."

I looked up at him. "Do you mean it?" I asked. I wanted to forgive myself, but I felt like I needed permission.

"Of course I do. You're my wife. I have to forgive everything you do. That's what husbands do."

"I thought I was your wife in name only," I said, refusing to look at him again.

"Help me sit up, Samantha," he said. I took his hands and pulled him up, then helped him move back on the double bed. "Now I need you close beside me."

I climbed onto the bed and sat next to him, positioned so I could see his face.

"Sam, I want you to know something."

I sat quietly waiting, desperate to hear what he wanted me to know.

"Ever since I saw you at Ashlyn and Nathaniel's for the holidays, I have loved you." A shy smile broke on his face when my mouth dropped open. "I worked hard to conceal it."

"But..."

"I didn't know at that point if we could ever be together, so I pushed my feelings down and tried to ignore them." He gave me a rueful smile. "It didn't work very well. When Nathaniel suggested you become my mail-order bride, I had to be careful to hide how eager I was."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"I worked to hold myself back and keep myself away from you. I didn't want to use you and divorce you after a year. But you wouldn't stop, would you? I couldn't resist you."

"Jori. I thought you didn't want me."

He closed his eyes and tilted his head back. "I was dying inside keeping my hands off of you."

"On the island, though..."

"Everything was different there. I didn't want to pretend anymore. I was tired of playing a role with everyone," he said, and I could see the weariness in his eyes.

"I knew it. I knew that was the real you." I reached out and gently touched his forehead. It seemed like he had taken quite a few punches. His face had bruises.

"It was then, and it is now," he said, taking both my hands in his. "And it will be forever. I'll never pretend again."

I held my breath. What was he saying?

"I love you, Sam," he said, gazing deep into my eyes. "Will you stay married to me after our year is up? I want to be with you forever."

I tried to blink back my tears, but I couldn't. They spilled over.

"Sammy?" he said, wiping them away.

"I love you, too, Jori. I swear you can trust me."

"I know I can, Sam. I always did."

He pulled me to him and pressed his lips to mine. Then he broke off the kiss.

"But what happened to Harrington?" he said sharply. I couldn't believe he'd waited this long to ask.

"They caught him." I was glad to be the one to tell him. "The evidence from your tracker was enough to start an inquest. They've charged him with several crimes and he's in prison until his trial. I don't think he's ever going to get paroled." He reached up to touch the bandage behind his ear where his tracker used to be.

"And the kids?"

I smiled.

"Well, you heard from Maria. We reunited almost everyone with their parents. There was one whose mother passed away while he was in captivity. He's being put up for adoption. A bunch of Harrington's goons revealed everything they knew when they heard he was going to jail. We found several other groups of kids he was trying to get off-planet. They're all safe as well. You did it."

"I guess I'll have to contact my superior to find out if they've released me from duty." I put my finger to his lips to silence him. I reached over to grab an envelope that had come for him that morning. I handed it to him silently.

He looked at me. "What is it?"

I shrugged. "Why don't you find out? We've all been waiting for you to wake up and open it," I told him.

He tore open the letter like a child unwrapping a present at Christmas time. Then he read through it a few times until, finally, he looked up at me.

"I'm free," he said gleefully. "I can be myself again. I'm no longer a secret agent. No more secrets. This letter thanks me for my service and wishes me well in my future endeavors."

"Jori," I said, hugging him. "I'm so happy for you."

"You should be happy for us," he said.

I twisted around until I sat in his lap with his arms around me. Suddenly we were kissing like there was no tomorrow. At a certain point, I realized he was more healed than I had thought.

"Jori," I gasped, breaking the kiss. "Aren't you still convalescing?"

He pushed his hips up, and I felt his hardness again. "I don't think so. Why don't we find out?"

"But…"

"I almost died, Sam. I thought I would never get to be close to you again."

"I'm not trying to stop you. I want you badly, Jori. But I don't wish to take advantage of a sick man. You have broken ribs."

"I'm not sick. And I'll be careful of my bones," he said. "You'll see."

He pushed me onto my back and followed me down. Our clothes were off in record time, and we kissed again, our hands exploring each other's bodies.

Soon I needed more. His hands were right there, his mouth on my breasts where I needed it most. He was bringing me close.

"Not like that. I want you inside me when I come," I said, pushing his hands away.

"Your wish is my command," he muttered, spreading my legs with his knee. When I felt him at my entrance nudging himself inside, I closed my eyes and concentrated on the sensations. He pressed in an inch and waited for me to accommodate his thickness.

"You're so tight," he whispered.

I moaned as he pushed in further, spreading me.

"I love it when you make those noises."

He thrust a little more, and I stretched, taking all of him until he was sheathed inside me, completely filling me.

"That feels so good," I said, and I kissed him while he remained stationary. Our bodies were tightly joined.

Then he moved slowly and carefully, testing out how much his ribs could handle. I groaned at the feeling of him pulling out and plunging back in. How could it still be so good? Would it be this good fifty years from now? I didn't know. But each time with Jori seemed as good as or better than the previous one. I had never been made love to the way Jori made love to me.

He found a rhythm and drove into me, taking me higher and higher. My breath was coming faster, and I felt the heat and pleasure building inside me.

"Yes," I breathed. "Yes."

His hand came up and twisted my nipple. That was enough to push me over the edge. I climaxed, my body wracked with spasms and filled with ecstasy.

He pounded into me a few more times before he lost it, stiffening with a groan.

"I love you," I whispered in his ear as he lay on me, his heavy weight pressing me into the bed. "I love you."

Finally, he lifted his head and pulled out of me. I gasped at the sensations, my inner muscles contracting again at the stimulation.

"Fuck me," I swore, closing my eyes and riding out the aftershocks.

"I thought I just did," he said, lying on his back on the bed.

I grinned at him.

"It's called making love, husband. Get it right."

He pushed me onto my side and rolled over too. He cuddled up close, spooning with me, our bodies connected along their entire length. "Maybe we should have another go to see if I can get it right this time."

His arm came around me and pulled me tightly against him.

"Maybe we should," I said. "After you rest."

"Okay," he said, sounding sleepy. "As long as you're with me, Sammy."

"I'm here," I said, my heart clenching at the endearment.

"And you're going to stay here?" he asked.

"Always."

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