CHAPTER TEN
Laurel
“What are you doing here?” I asked with a little more attitude than need be as I walked out of the back door of Royally Brewed.
I would never have admitted it, but I was glad he was there. I had a closing shift and since I had no car that meant I had to walk home. I didn’t have money for things like cabs or Ubers. I didn’t even have money to ride the bus, not that it ran this late. Besides, it was only a few blocks away. But I didn’t know any sort of self-defense and I didn’t even carry any kind of weapon.
Nights that I closed, it was a very tense walk home, to say the least. I hated it. And I hated that I didn’t have any other choice.
So the sight of Bryan sitting there on his bike looking like he was waiting for me was a welcomed one. I was still trying to play it cool even if inside my heart was fluttering and my stomach felt like it was tripping over itself with excitement.
He brushed off my attitude and gave me that panty melting half-smirk.
“Your chariot awaits, your Majesty,” he said, low and all sexy like.
I hated it.
I hated him.
Okay, no I didn’t really.
But it was just sad how quickly this man could turn me into a puddle of goo. And with that, I had a hard time keeping my guard up. I had myself to protect. I knew what this was and it wasn’t what I wished it could be. Still, as sad and pathetic as it might have seemed, I would have rather had a part of him than nothing at all.
Besides, it wasn’t like anyone else was knocking down my door. I wasn’t exactly the hot commodity that I had once been. If Bryan was willing to overlook that then maybe I should have just been grateful.
I rolled my eyes at him.
“Some chariot,” I said, a hint of playful irritation in my tone. “It looks more like a kid’s toy with a motor.”
I knew that would get him and I tried my best to hold back my smile as his face went hard.
“Besides, real men can afford something with four tires.” I couldn’t help it. I just kept pushing. It wasn’t that I believe that. I mean, really. Bryan sitting on his bike was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen.
Continuing to play the game, I turned around like I was going to walk off. I wasn’t all that surprised when a second later his arms were around my waist and I was being lifted in the air. Nor was I shocked when he planted my ass, hard, on the back of his bike and shoved a helmet on my head.
“Who am I?” I whispered right before his lips crashed into mine.
The kiss was raw and violent. We fought with our mouths, both of us trying to prove who had the control here.
“Caroline Mathilde,” he said once he pulled back and looked into my eyes.
“And who does that make you?”
“Johann Struensee.”
He said nothing else as he swung his leg over and mounted his bike. I felt the vibrations through my whole body as he started it up. I wasn’t sure which sent more of a thrill up my spine, the ride ahead or the way the bike felt between my legs. I could see how this was addicting and we hadn’t even taken off yet.
“Arms around me. Feet up on the pegs. Don’t move them. Pipes get hot and I wouldn’t want you to scar your perfect legs, princess. Move with me, though I don’t think you’ll have a problem with that one.”
He tilted his head to the side and winked. Yes, winked!
With a slow, calming breath in, I did as he said, wrapping my arms tightly around his midsection and scooting in as close as I could to him.
The smell of leather and man filled my nose instantly. I was pretty sure I was smiling. I held the squeal in the back of my throat as he took off like a shot down the narrow alleyway. Instinctively, my arms attempted to squeeze the life out of him for fear that I would fall off.
He didn’t take me straight back to my place. Instead, he drove around for at least an hour, I would have guessed. Time seemed to slip by whenever I was with him and it wasn’t like I was wearing a watch. Or cared, you know. I loved it, even if I would never admit that to him. Though the air was hot and sticky, it felt amazing whipping around me. It was thrilling. It was invigorating. It was intoxicating.
I felt alive.
I felt free.
And I felt tingly all over.
It was no surprise that once we made it to my place, we were tearing at each other’s clothing even before we made it through the doorway. I was clawing at him like a cat in heat. It was shameless and definitely something I hadn’t ever done before him. But did I care? Nope.
“Take me,” I panted out all breathy-like sounding like a little tramp.
“Yes, my Queen.”
He kicked the door closed, the cheap walls rattling from the impact. Then his large, warm hands palmed my butt as he hauled me up, my legs automatically locking around his waist.
Seconds later, I was spread out on the bed, my shirt freed from my body. My pants went next. He yanked the cup of my bra down and then his mouth was covering my hard nipple. He licked and nibbled as I begged for more.
Somehow he managed to get my panties off without me even noticing until the cool air drifted over the wetness that was pooling between my legs.
“You want me?” he growled into my ear. His scruff raked across my jaw sending a delicious shiver down my spine.
“Yes,” I breathed out. “Yes! Please.”
“Tell me what you need.”
“I need to feel you. I need you… to…”
I couldn’t get any words out with him doing that thing to my neck. Or with his breaths in my ear. No, my brain just shut down.
“Anything. It’s yours.”
“I need you to own me,” I said and suddenly wished I could have taken those words back.
I felt it then, that devilish smile of his against my shoulder. I was about to get what I asked for, probably more than I ever thought I would.
“With pleasure, my Queen.”
In a blink, he flipped me over, pulled my hips in the air, and was kissing his way down my back. It felt too good and I didn’t want to move. I heard the rustling of his clothes as he shed them. Then the knowing sound of a condom wrapper being torn open.
“So wet for me,” he said as I felt the tip of his hardness brush over then circle my entrance.
A slow, low moan forced its way out of my throat as he pushed his way in. I loved the way he filled me up. Every thick inch of him was inside of me.
“Fuck, Laurel. You feel so damn good.”
His fingers dug into my hips as he started to pound into me. I took it, every inch of it. Every hard thrust. Every word he said to me. I took them all.
“Who owns this pussy?”
“You!” I screamed. “You own it!”
And he did. He had already put his mark on me, whether he really meant to or not. But now… now it was set in stone.
He didn’t just own my… pussy.
He was the king of it.
“Fuck, yeah, I do.”
“Oh, God!” I moaned out so loud I was sure the whole building heard me.
His fingers were in my hair. I raised up on my hands as he pulled my head back and pounded into me harder. I didn’t know it was possible, but he did it. My body jerked back with each thrust.
I floated higher and higher. There was a tightening in my core and I felt like it was going to snap at any second.
“Come for me,” he demanded.
And I did because I was already there.
His name tore up my throat and spilled from my lips over and over.
“Mine,” he growled as his teeth came down and sunk into the back of my shoulder.
With one last hard, deep thrust, he grunted out his release, breathing hard onto my skin.
We collapsed in a pile of sweaty, loose limbs, both of us panting so hard it made the room start to feel hot and sticky.
His fingers drifted lazily along my body until they were on my jaw. With a light pull, he brought my lips to his and kissed me slowly. It was such a contradiction to what he had just given me that I didn’t know what to do with it. My head was all confused and for some reason, I felt like I wanted to cry. I held the tears back, just barely.
His lips slid away from mine almost hesitantly. And because I felt too open and raw, I quickly turned my head away from him. I swallowed down the lump in my throat hoping that he wouldn’t notice.
With a small sigh, one that I wasn’t sure that I had really heard, he slipped off the bed. I didn’t turn to look at him but I could hear him tossing the condom in the trash then redressing. He was leaving, though it didn’t really come as a shock. I mean, he got what he came here for, there was no reason to stick around.
The room was so silent that my skin began to crawl. When he was done, he leaned over and placed a light kiss on the side of my head. I didn’t move. In fact, I held my breath the moment I felt him close to me.
Then I heard his boots retreating across the room. The door opened and closed quietly, and I was alone.
I willed myself not to cry. Nearly naked, I curled up in a ball and closed my eyes. What did I expect, really? For him to confess some kind of love for me. Those had all been words anyway. Owning my pussy didn’t mean he wanted to own me. He just wanted that part of me. He wanted to beat his stupid Neanderthal man chest while he banged me. The sad thing was, that I helped him do that without any protest. I gave him what he wanted so easily. I hadn’t even stopped to think about how it would chip away at me after it was over. Or how I would be left so cold and feeling completely stupid for every second of it.
The next day, I got out of bed with my head held high. I didn’t let it get me down. I headed to work determined to have a great day.
There was a line to the door when I walked in. It was right in the middle of that mid-morning rush. I stashed my stuff and tossed on my apron with lightning speed. Then I took over the extra register after clocking in. Busy was good. Not only did it make the time go by faster but it also kept my mind from drifting off to the stupid, obsessive thoughts that were all about Bryan.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” Dale said right after I got somewhat settled. “I was about ready to pull my hair out.”
I giggled then sent him a smile before turning to the next customer.
It was an odd morning. People seemed more grumpy than they usually were. I wondered what was up with that.
Three hours later, I was right there with Dale, I wanted to pull my hair out and scream. People had turned from grumpy to straight up mean. One girl even turned her nose up at me and said that my roots were way past due for a touch-up.
“Uh, that’s like way past trendy,” she had said to me.
I willed myself not to cry. It took everything in me to plaster a smile on my face and hand her the change. When I really wanted to just throw it in her face.
Okay, so yes, my hair was a disaster. Like, embarrassingly so. Actually, it had passed disaster like three months ago. But there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn’t afford to go to my salon and get it fixed. I wasn’t even sure they would let me step foot in there now. That was, if I had the money to. I debated on getting one of those store-bought kits just to make it look like some kind of even tone but I truly feared that I would mess it up. I knew nothing about dying hair. I had always heard that those box kits were so bad for your hair and the last thing I needed to do was draw more attention to my split ends and broken chunks because I put it up in a messy bun so often. I would have sworn that I was losing hair every day because of those elastic tie things. But it was the easiest way to tame my hair now that I didn’t have all those fancy shampoos and products. Also, it sort of helped to hide the root thing I had going on.
I kept telling myself that one bad day was alright. It made me appreciate the good ones, that was for sure.
“What can I get for you today?” I asked automatically as I sorted the money in the cash drawer that the last customer had pretty much thrown at me. I guessed the leftover twelve cents was meant for the tip jar seeing as they had moved along already.
My eyes looked up when there was no response.
I gasped. Actually gasped. I wasn’t used to seeing him in the day. I had to say he was still magnificent. Massive and a little charming, you know, in that cocky way.
“Oh, I got it, Laurel,” Dale called out from the side. “Just ring it up as a large coffee.”
There was something odd that happened then. A wink. Yes, I was pretty sure I had seen it. Only Dale wasn’t giving it to me. It was one of those winks that wasn’t meant to be sexy. Not that I thought that Dale would flirt with Bryan. No, this was one of those we have a secret winks. Like he knew something I didn’t and maybe even wasn’t supposed to.
“Why did you just wink at him?” I asked before I could think better of it.
“Uhhhh,” Dale said like he was at a loss for words. “I’m sworn to secrecy. By Gwen. I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to know. Which I don’t.” He looked over at Bryan. “I know nothing.”
Bryan actually laughed and shook his head.
“Gwen only told me so that I would know for when you came in and she’s not here.”
“Dale, I think you should close it. You’re only making it worse,” I said with a small laugh of my own even though I had no idea what was going on.
He came over and set a large cup down on the counter in front of Bryan.
I shook my head realizing that I hadn’t even rung it up.
“Here’s your black coffee.”
The way Dale said it made me think there was something else in there.
Without thinking, I snatched it up before Bryan could.
I debated on taking a sip but was suddenly afraid. But as it neared my face I smelled it.
“Vanilla?!” I said in a shocked whisper.
“What can I say? I like bitter things when they taste really sweet.”
Oh, yes, my cheeks heated immediately. That tone. Those words. They were not lost on me.
He dropped a twenty dollar bill on the counter, picked up his coffee, and walked out.
“Your face is all red,” Dale said, a hint of laughter in his tone.
“Shut it,” I said and then laughed. He knew I didn’t mean it.
“Uhhh huh.”
Luckily, he didn’t say anything more about it.
As the day went on, I couldn’t help but replay Bryan’s words over and over in my head. The fact that he did it right there in front of people, made me pause more than once. Okay, sure, the comment wasn’t really all that blatant. But with the look he gave me and the tone he had used, there was no way that everyone around hadn’t picked up on it. I found myself smiling and shaking my head more than once.
Chris came by just as I was about to clock out. He asked if I wanted to go grab some tacos and though I hated that he said he was paying, I couldn’t say no when he gave me the pouty face.
“How’s Ingram?” I asked after we got settled at our table.
“Good. I think that place is really helping her.”
“Okay, I don’t want to be nosy, but I have no clue what is going on with that. I am kind of not in like you guys are and I sometimes feel like I don’t know what everyone else does. But I also get what it’s like to be talked about behind your back. So, this is me not asking.”
I know I was blatantly throwing out hints that I wanted to know. I was also willing and ready to accept that he might not talk about it.
I should have been used to it. The getting shut out part. I swore if I heard club business one more time I was going to scream. Like, come on. What is so important and edgy or whatever that you have to keep it locked up that tightly? It wasn’t like I was going to go blab everything to someone. I didn’t even have a someone to run my mouth to. All my friends were ones that were woven into the club anyway. Well, except for Dale, he was kind of a friend. A work friend, maybe? Anyway, my point was, I thought it was the stupidest thing. And maybe I felt a little left out. Which I kind of hated. It also hurt a little, to know that I wasn’t that important to a certain someone. That he didn’t think he could share stuff with me because I wasn’t anything to him.
But whatever.
I wasn’t going to think of Bryan right now. Or the dumb club. I was hanging out with Chris and I very much loved my Chris time.
“Don’t feel bad. The club didn’t know about Ky and Ingram’s past until she was kidnapped. And he told me a little before that.”
“Oh,” I said feeling a little better.
“She was raised in a cult, basically. So was Ky,” Chris said and I could tell he was feeling their pain right then. That was what I loved about him, if you were hurting, he hurt right along with you. “Ky left when he was seventeen, leaving Ingram behind. Long story, but she refused to go with him. She finally wised up after she was pregnant and escaped as well.”
There wasn’t much I could say to that. The whole sheltered thing made sense now. My heart broke for her. I couldn’t believe that all of that had happened to her. I could sense there was more but I didn’t press.
The truth was, I admired Ingram. To have that much strength and will at that young of an age was beyond impressive.
“Anyway,” Chris said going on. “Mouse found this place for kids like her. There’s therapy. Oh, and help for her with Chry. She wanted to learn how to do things for herself and…”
“Being here with suddenly like twenty new brotherly types was suffocating?” I finished for him with a laugh.
I had seen how the guys could be. Not only with Ingram but with Cami as well. Once you were in, they all treated you like family.
Again, I felt a sharp stab in my heart.
Sure they had all been good to me. They had helped me move. And when I saw them around they didn’t treat me like an outsider. But they weren’t always around like I had seen them be with Cami.
Chris laughed and nodded while I tried to keep the smile from slipping off my face.
“Exactly,” he said. “And Ky is just very overprotective. I think if he had his way she would have never left the house.”
The conversation moved on. I ate my taco and drank a strawberry margarita that Chris ordered for me. We laughed and joked. Not once did he ask me if I was doing alright, which I loved because I didn’t want to be seen as the broken girl. The pathetic, sad princess that had lost it all. I was really grateful that Chris never looked at me or treated me as anything other than a friend. When we hung out, I was Laurel. I wasn’t a Benson. I wasn’t Cami’s older sister. I wasn’t that girl that had been humiliated and cheated on. Or the one that had nothing now. I was just me.
By the end of our dinner, I felt lighter. Chris drove me home, then sent me on my way with a tight hug and promised to call me soon.
Hanging out with him had been the thing I needed. The day had kind of been a little crappy. Between Bryan’s surprise little visit and Chris, I ended it on a good note.
I just had to keep focusing on the positive. That was the only way I knew how to keep my head above water.