Cody enjoyed the chaos of the city. High traffic noise masked his inner turmoil. Shutting down his raging heart, his confused, chaotic mind, diverting and suppressing the desire to tear away his mask and escape him.
As the person, he was born to be.
As the human, he wanted to be.
As the love, he wanted to find.
As the mate, he wanted in his bed.
But there was some unknown force. The fear of something threatening happening to him. The feeling of discard, rejection, the eyes glaring, discouraging him. Lawd, there was so much nonsense running through his mind. Screaming, he kept his palms on both of his ears and attempted to shut out his mind. But all in vain. The fear was internal. He had to fight with himself, with the person struggling within to escape to the outside. ‘Why am I suppressing him?’ he wondered, staring at the dusky sky. The fading sun shining like an ember, covered behind the tinged clouds, and the tranquility encompassing everything, didn’t bother to reply. ‘Why am I suppressing myself?’ This question echoed for a little longer in his mind. He closed his eyes and let his soul sink deep into his heart in search of the answer. The deeper he went, the darker he found there. Only roaring, crying, caged, suppressed memories of his past. Each reminded him of when he wanted to fall for someone, but the fear of the world censored him every time, and at each turn of his life.
He sighed and felt his heart sink. He wanted it to see what he had faced so far. No love. No shoulder to cry on. No first kiss. No tenderness yet in his life. Nothing. All virgin, even regarding real emotions.
How does it feel to touch someone?
How does it feel to kiss someone?
How does it feel to allow someone to dominate you?
And, how does it feel to allow someone to fulfill your every desire?
He sighed again. Groaned. Anticipating someone to do all of those things. Crossing his arms over his chest, he opened his eyes and stared above him. Purplish blue sky, clouds scattered by now, and the sun was gone to the other world. He was left with nothing except the breeze which was slowly becoming chillier making him shiver. Reminding, harshly, he was alone, both physically and emotionally.
He let a couple of tears fall from his eyes and watched birds returning late to their nests. ‘You can always return… even so late… to your home.’ He decided to find his own home. The HOME where he could settle all the chaos raging inside his heart, fulfill all his wishes, and call someone his own. ‘A place where you can be yourself!’ A sweet cry escaped his mouth. He felt his heart was pounding hard to look for his place. To find his dream home, he needed to be more courageous and tear down the cast he was wearing over his real self.
Searching through his cellphone, he looked for the nearest gay bar. ‘Tonight I will feel and smell what my soul wants.’ His fingers were as desperate to find himself as his soul was. In a moment he found one. The Soul Wrenchers was the nearest. He googled the distance and found it was only two blocks away from the park, a total of three blocks from his apartment. “Not far.” Murmuring he looked for its rating. Cody didn’t want to attend just any hardcore gay club. It was his first outing, at least alone, and in a city a long way from his hometown. Sighing he pressed the rating button and found it was very good. One of the highest in the city. Ironically, it was open for all sexualities. ‘Great! I can hide too. Who is going to worry about me? Shit!’ Rejecting his pessimistic thoughts, he slid his cell back into his pocket.
‘Damn. Heaven is nearby and I am looking around the city.’ He chuckled and sprinted towards the club.
---
Following Google tracking to the club, Cody finally reached a weird entrance. A unicorn horn pointing to an elevated pavement for the entrance. He gasped at the graffiti and the illuminating neon lights flashing The Soul Wrenchers. Cody’s legs hesitated before stepping towards the entrance, and then taking a deep breath, he moved inside. A pair of bouncers at the gate asked for his ID card and proof of age documents. Everything happening was new to him so he followed the instructions they gave. One of the bouncers took his hand and stamped it with a dark-blue criss-cross design. While moving within a tunnel-shaped corridor illuminated with colorful lights, Cody examined the tattoo and after looking from all possible angles, he concluded it did not make any sense except for working as an entry pass.
Then suddenly, he was engulfed by the crowd, drenched in the fun, dancing free-spiritedly on the lyrics buzzing in the life-sized closed hall, flashing party lights, the smell of booze high in the air, and everyone lost in themselves. Cody’s soul felt an intermixing passion. It was rare to have that feeling within his mind and heart, together with the feeling of acceptance, faith, and the unexplainable hot-cum-tangy taste spreading on his tongue. He relished that moment for which his heart had been aching for so many years.
Loud music suppressing all other noise in the packed out space, was overwhelming. There were so many handsome hunks, shirtless dudes, enough to ogle for his entire life. He smirked on his choice of club, and praised himself for coming here this evening. The bouncers were beefy with striking good looks. Their leather boots and leather jackets pictured in all his kinky thoughts about them.
A sharp, loud cry echoed in the form of music and Cody shouted out loud along with it. A long-buried moan escaped from his heart, lightening his soul. The connection there was phenomenal. He cursed and then controlled himself. No more cursing to himself. Tonight he would allow only fun and opening his heart to this place. He saw a male couple holding hands, walking into the crowd. He had never seen such poised gay men before. They screamed, keeping their fingers around their mouths and, roused with a winning gesture, the crowd shouted at their backs. Each got a glass of vodka, raised high and tossed them back, then became lost in the dimly lit club. Cody could spot them dancing on the floor under different colored lights. But he was still in the corner of the room.
A go-go boy came up to Cody, tugged him round his waist and pulled him into the crowd. He was all but dragged. Embarrassment, feeling moronic and not knowing how to react, made him feel like a kid with a big candy in his hand. Perhaps that dancer perceived his condition, and to remove the hesitation, slipped his hand firmly around his waist, and made him dance among the crowd. Soon people gave them space, clapped and Cody followed his steps. He was a talented dance partner but after the end of the song, he turned away and left Cody to go out into the crowd again. Soon Cody calmed himself and smiled awkwardly, gaining applause.
He wandered around the vibrant room, wondering whether heaven would be different from this. Crowds, fun, booze, eye candy, swingers, strippers, and then the liberty to do anything, ogle anyone. Surprisingly, seeing as it was his first time, Cody felt hot eyes checking him out. Who wouldn’t feel good on being noticed? So was Cody! But not able to find the courage to talk to anyone, the feeling of screwing up the opportunity was bothering him. He wanted to feel them over his skin, like chocolate melting on his tongue.
With a flip of light Cody saw him, then darkness for a moment and he was lost. Cody couldn’t be confused in guessing who he was. The lights flashed again and he was right there dancing, grinding, and gyrating wildly in the crowd. Cody giggled while watching his monkey-dance, but then he found fun and rhythm in his moves. A vibrant blue-black shirt, faded jeans and someone in his arms to hold. Their eyes met for a moment. And Cody smiled wider at Max.
Yes, Professor Maximus Wolfe was dancing on the same floor as Cody only a few meters away. He swung the lady around him and rolling before Cody she fell into Max’s arms. ‘Who is that bitch wooing my man?’ He smiled on his possessive thoughts for Max and recalled even bisexuals could be counted as gay.
Cody kept standing, smiling, and adoring the sexy look of Max until he came forward and pulled Cody close. Shocked, he didn’t realize Max had approached so near to him. Blushing, Cody joined his monkey-dance and shook his ass to the lyrics. Soon they were dancing hand in hand with their asses glued together. After a long dance, Max dragged Cody over to the bar. They tossed drinks down back to back to quench their thirsts. New tastes slipping down Cody’s throat were inciting all new colors and yearning.
Max stared at Cody while his eyes were dazed, and suddenly, leaning over his face, Max pressed his lips to Cody’s. The sudden touch of lips from the man he had ached for during many nights, sent electric shivers down his spine. One second he was in shock, and the next he resisted, trying to pull back, but he found two sturdy hands were holding him firmly. Cody snuggled his face into the crook of Max’s neck and sighing, Max hugged him tightly. “I missed you for so many nights, Hun.” He pulled Cody back to look into his face. “I wanted to feel what your kiss would be like on my lips?” Cody moaned deep, yearning, his breathing becoming uncontrolled.
“I am not ready yet.” Cody sighed, blushed, and looked away. So many eyes lingering on them. Each of the alcohol-fueled and lust-filled eyes glued to their bodies, reading their next moves. Cody sighed again. Cheeks glowing red, he hid his face in Max’s neck. “Just hold me like this.”
Hugging Cody tight, Max swung them both around and rested Cody’s back against the counter. “Don’t shy away. This moment will soon chase your inhibitions away.” Lifting Cody up in his arms. Max tugged Cody’s legs around him. Cody was high on Max’s waist, and his face lowered down against Max’s. Max pressed his lips once more to Cody’s, and this time, all apprehension which was previously packed into Cody’s mind, evaporated in the high-spirited atmosphere. He didn’t participate fully, but he didn’t resist in imbibing the moment into his soul. Max opened his mouth to engulf Cody’s and the smell of alcohol distracted their bonding. Cody’s face automatically moved to the other side. “This place is not for us,” Max patted Cody’s back, made him stand on the floor and pulling his hand, they made their way through the dancing crowd. Like oars rippling through the water, Max crafted a trail for Cody to follow.
They were entering deeper into the club. It was weird for Cody, he never knew there would be more hidden passages. More bouncers tried to stop them. Max pushed them aside, thrust through the door and marched on, pulling Cody along with him. Before Cody could be swept far along, one of the bouncers took hold of his hand and marked it with another tattoo. Cody examined it, but then soon he was distracted by moans. Lifting his head up, he found couples making out openly inside a bigger room. He thought it was not unlike a porn studio. Numerous couples around kissing, blowing, fucking, and there was even an orgy happening too. An instant heat up!
Cody knew now he would not be the same Cody after leaving the club, as the one who arrived. Max pulled Cody to him and he stumbled against his chest like a dolt. Max kissed and moaned together making Cody realize how desperate Max was for him.
But how could Cody forget he was desperate too? He was aching for the same moment for many years, with Max since they met onscreen, and then in his class, when Max had touched him deceitfully while teaching some silly Greek symbols. ‘Why do I always hesitate? Why do I constantly backtrack when the opportunity knocks at my door? Why the fuck am I like this? So shy? So timid? And see, what am I doing now? When am I supposed to savor my dream man? I am always crying about this!!!’
Cody kissed Max back, opening his mouth, he let Max savor him. The experience was overwhelming and intimidating. Cody kissed Max again, although as a novice would. And then suddenly, Max twisted Cody on his heels. He swung him around and lay him on the couch. Turning his head back, he found Max had gone to the bar to get some more drinks. Two glasses filled with a yellowy-orange, colored liquid, his legs moving synced on the music beats. He kept sipping from one and came over to Cody.
Offering a glass to Cody, Max returned to dance with the beats. He was lost in the shadows of the crowds for a while. They were many people trying to grab the opportunity to dance with Max, and he too, freely joined them one by one. Soon one handsome man twisted and turned, and showed some indecent moves with Max, and then moving to the same beat, he stepped up to Cody. First, he blushed, then diffidently, he started looking away, everywhere except at the guy. His two fingers walked high up on Cody’s thighs, tummy, chest, and came back around his waist. A yank on the arm, and Cody fell into the stranger’s hold. Cody laughed on the silly play, his head resting on the man’s shoulder, and the stranger took him to the middle of the dancing crowd.
Soon Cody was dancing with him. Following his moves. Cody felt himself feel free, and hand in hand, Cody danced following his lead. Max was nearby strutting his own solo moves. The stranger pulled Cody near, his hands on Cody’s ass, squeezing, touching, and grabbing his loins, pulling him closer. Everything twisted so soon, Cody didn’t realize whether it was a dance or unwanted touching. He pulled Cody closer to kiss him, but Cody pushed him away. His hands weaker than the lust in the stranger’s arms. He tried again and Cody slapped his face.
The stranger’s hand clutched his loins and pain forced tears into his eyes. “Why are you throwing this tantrum at me when you can sleep with all the sluts here in the city?” Growling, he attempted to kiss him again.
Eyes full of tears, Cody looked at Max who was busy himself. The ecstasy dancing on his face, was different than the feeling floating on Cody’s. “Max,” he cried, and despite the loud music, Max heard him. One look at their body language, and he understood. The next second, he punched the stranger hard to the head, and soon he was flat out unconscious on the floor.
Max hugged Cody in a tight embrace. “Take me somewhere else,” Cody moaned against Max’s lips. And puffing, sighing, groaning, Max dragged him out of the club. Almost throwing Cody into the back of his Mercedes, they sped off into the darkness.
---
Throughout the drive Cody was silent. “I am sorry.” Max whispered, “It happened because of my ignorance. I should not have left you alone…” Max murmured while Cody stared at the road. Vehicles’ colorful lights mixed with sodium lamps illuminated the highway. Different pitched honking and clamoring on the road became silent inside the car. Cody’s hush was killing Max. “Talk to me,” grabbing Cody’s hand in his own, Max spoke.
“I am fine.” Finally, Cody uttered. Though it didn’t make sense, nor did it explain the angst or his pain, but it made Max quiet for some time until Cody spoke again. “I want you to do with me, the same as he wanted to do with me.”
“I am sorry?”
“No questions, Max. I am tired of all the coldness of my life.” Leaning over, he kissed Max’s cheek.
…..
Parking the car in an available space, they rushed into the elevator, kissing desperately. Max pushed the button, and they were soon carried upwards. Max pushed Cody back against the elevator wall and had almost unbuttoned his shirt, nibbling at his neck and downwards when the elevator stopped. They rushed into the apartment and to the bedroom without switching on any lights, except for one dim table lamp, while leaving a trail of clothes in their wake.
By the time they reached the bed, they had removed all their clothes. Cody lay down on his back, facing Max who was leaning over him.
Max pleaded to ravish him. Cody, already soaked with his love, would let Max do whatever he wanted. “You are perfect. Better in the flesh than on a small screen.” Max punctuated each word with a kiss to a different part of Cody’s quivering body. Cody’s smooth skin rippled under Max’s touch. Bucking up when Max’s tongue flicked his nipple, Cody moaned at the sensations running to his groin. Smiling, Max nipped gently, and then moved to the other nipple. Cody grabbed Max’s hair to get his attention.
“Too much, I am going to blow.” Taking pity on his lover, Max moved to kiss his mouth. Rolling back on top of Cody, he rubbed his cock against Cody’s sensitive one.
Moaning, Cody begged for more. “Please Max.” Max was more than willing to give Cody everything. Max stood, offering Cody his cock. Cody crawled to the edge of the bed to kneel before him. Licking his lips, Cody flicked his tongue over the head of the long, thick cock. Experimentally, he sucked it into his mouth as far as he could. It was too big for Cody to take it all, so he used his hand to pump the base. Cody lavished the cock, sucking deeply, twisting his tongue around the head. Gagging every so often when he sucked it in too far. Max placed his hand in Cody’s hair, guiding the length of each stroke. Cody could feel his own orgasm erupt over his stomach. Panting, he pulled away from Max.
“Sorry Max. I didn’t know that was possible, coming without being touched. I loved sucking you. You taste divine.” Cody went to suck him again, longing to make him come.
“I want to come in that tight ass of yours.” Max eased Cody to his back. Cody ran his hands through the dark hair covering the broad chest of his lover. His deep pink nipples nestled beautifully amongst the black hairs. Cody pulled Max closer to nibble and suck at his chest. The hairs tickled his nose, but not enough to stop his devouring lips. Max, enjoying the hesitant touches, reached into the nightstand to fetch the lube. Curious, Cody stopped to see what Max was up to. Flipping open the lid, Max poured a large squirt onto his fingers. Sucking Cody’s dick, already recovered and erect, straight down his throat, Cody screamed in ecstasy. It was more than Cody ever dreamed of. Distracting Cody by sucking him, he circled his rim, rubbing the lube over the virgin hole. Pushing the tip of his middle finger in gently. Cody took it easily, wanting more. A second finger found some resistance but Cody pushed out his ass for Max to press in deeper. Scissoring his fingers, Max added a third.
“Please Max I need you.” Cody whispered his want.
Removing his fingers, Max poured more lube into his hand, then rubbing it over his cock to coat it in a sticky film. Kneeling between Cody’s outstretched legs, he lined up his cockhead to Cody’s stretched hole. Nudging the head through the ring of muscle, Max waited for Cody to relax. Cody felt tightness and a little pain, which soon eased. Max’s cock was a lot thicker than his three fingers, but felt so much better to Cody, who grabbed hold of Max’s butt and pulled him closer. Max slid all the way in.
Waiting again for Cody’s body to accept him, Max leant over Cody. Resting on his elbows, he kissed the inviting lips offered to him. Wrapping his legs around Max’s waist, Cody silently begged Max to start moving. Needing no more encouragement, Max pumped deeply. Thrusting into Cody’s deep, tight warmth, Cody was loud, shouting his desire for all to hear. Max claimed his mouth, stifling the moans. Cody didn’t know how to ask for Max to go faster and harder, but Max knew what to give him. Thrusting harder, hitting his balls against Cody’s ass, Max came, filling Cody with his hot seed. The friction of Max’s stomach rubbing his dick, and his prostate being pounded, caused Cody to come again over them both.
The only sounds in the bedroom were the lovers breathing, regaining control after their energetic lovemaking. Cody snuggled into Max’s side, his head resting on Max’s hairy chest, surreptitiously wiping tears from his eyes. Wrapped in his lover’s arms, happy and sated, Cody smiled.
While lying next to Max panting, Cody felt Max was a real man who always got what he wanted. Max liked Cody’s innocence, and he also enjoyed his devilishness. Cody looked around, and a big digital clock on the wall told him it was 4:45 am. He jumped up, and after getting a quick warm shower, he ran back nude, into the room where Max was half-dozing, and half staring at the bathroom door. He raised his hands to catch Cody, but getting away from his grip, Cody slipped into his clothes and ran off to his own apartment.
Silently, inserting the key into the lock, he opened the door and found silence cloaked the entire house. Joseph was asleep too. Breathing relaxed, he spread out on his bed, and his never sleeping mind was torn between thoughts of Drake and Max. He was judging what he had done that night, and how it would have been different if Drake could have been there. He didn’t know why, but his mind wasn’t satisfied and was not leaving thoughts of Drake at any cost.
He recalled how Drake ran up to him a few days before, and his last-minute attempt to talk to Cody, but it all sounded fake to him then. Today, for Cody, Drake was nothing but a sheer coward, full of muscles, but with no courage to stand up and talk to his mate. He was feeling shame for liking Drake so much, and expecting he would ever approach him again. Though Max was always the first on his hit list, it was Drake who melted him, and made him ready to sleep with him while on campus. But Drake never approached him with those intentions as Cody was expecting.
Whenever he thought of Drake, it was Max who was there. And soon Cody realized it was Max who was meant to be his mate, not Drake. It was Max who liked him more than only a general admiration, whereas Drake only liked him as though he was only a kid on campus. His infatuation for Drake was changing its meaning into a simple respect for a professor, yet with Max it was enriching far more. He had started to look at Max as being his future ,when they were lying on the bed together after two consecutive rounds. He had allowed Max to ravish his untouched skin, to feed on his hunger, and gratify each other’s thirsts. Cody was finding Max to be a real man. The man of his imagination and the man of his life. With whom he could spend his life, and for whom he could do anything.
Vacillating on his idiotic thoughts, soon, Cody’s snores buzzed softly through the apartment.
Bury the sounds of crickets
In the moans and the groans,
In the whimpers and the grunts.
Bury me beneath you
Hide me within you,
Make me feel
I am yours.
Make me realize
You are mine,
Only mine