Chapter 10

 

As usual, Drake ended his lecture and let the students ask questions. And as happened almost every time, almost everyone raised their hands. Drake grinned, “I wonder you really have a question or are finding an opportunity.” And the class smiled. After answering a few students, Drake turned to Cody, “You wanna ask me anything?” he waited for a minute, “I didn’t see you in the last two lectures. Where were you?”

Cody remained silent for a moment. He didn’t like it when Drake smiled at other students in class, standing there so happy and calm, grinning and then he finally asked directly. “Where were you?”

“Excuse me?” Irritation showed on Drake’s face. It was clear he didn’t get Cody’s point. “Where was I? Taking the class.” He smiled and the class followed him. A few students giggled and laughed. Everything added fuel to the fire.

Cody’s nostrils flared, and he was on the verge of exploding. His anger escalated by all the giggles and Drake’s ignorance annoyed him. “Not today. But yesterday. I mean a few days back.” Cody glared at Drake. Now the class was shocked. They didn’t understand how anyone, most importantly such a lame student as Cody, could talk to a professor in front of the class as he did.

“Last week I was doing babysitting for my sister. She was alone at home and we are expecting a new arrival very soon.” Drake shrugged and replied innocently. Plenty of aww, how cute, how sexy, blah, blah like voices buzzed through the class. “What happened?”

“You were babysitting?” Cody replied and then murmured slowly. It was something he didn’t imagine Drake would do. His anger was increasing but took a change of direction. Cody was angry at himself. He wanted to yell and beat the shit out of himself.

“What happened?” Tina consoled and put her hand on his shoulder, pulling him closer for a hug.

Cody shrugged and let his nostrils flare. The angst was still there. He felt like an idiot. Feeling another hand on his own, he looked at it. Samuel was next to him, trying to console him. A few students stood at their places to watch Cody. “I hope you are alright...” Sam spoke out but before he could end his statement, Cody slapped him across his cheek. The sound echoed through the classroom, and everything turned into an unexpected event. Drake was collecting his papers by that time and saw Cody slapping Sam. Cody was now fighting with him before everyone. Tina was standing near him feeling very afraid, and she took a few steps back. Drake ran up to Sam. But by then, Sam was lying on the floor, trying to cover his body with his hands and Cody was beating him hard. It was an ugly thrashing and Sam was being hurt badly.

Cody’s arm was caught by a hand. He turned and found Drake was holding him. “Stop it.” Drake ordered.

“Who the hell are you to command me?” Cody shouted at him. Drake twisted his arm and pushed him aside. He lifted Sam with his other hand and gestured a few students to help him away. Cody turned back and kicked out at Sam. By then Sam had been moved away and was standing, so Cody’s kick went amiss and hit Drake on the calf. Drake glared at Cody but it didn’t soothe him.

“Do you want a detention?” Drake shouted and pushed Cody away. Cody lurched forward and pushed Drake on the chest, but Drake didn’t move an inch. “ENOUGH,” Drake’s loud voice shocked everyone. Cody’s abrupt manner disappeared with that order. “No more nonsense here.” He made Sam sit on a seat far away from Cody, “You need to seek professional help, an anger management counselor perhaps.” Drake turned and warned Cody, and then went back to collect his papers and bag. Cody stared at Drake for a few seconds and then, stamping his foot, he left the class before everyone. Drake turned his head and watched Cody leave.

 

 

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Anxiety filled Cody as he walked fast through the corridors without thinking about where he was going. He had made himself look an idiot by procrastinating. Overthinking and having high expectations from everyone and this was his fault. Stamping and hissing, quivering in anger, cursing occasionally, Cody reached the end of a corridor. A dark red brick wall blocked his way, just as his life was not giving him an option to move on. Two staircases, one going up and other downwards, side by side and then a lift doors’ voice. “Going up.” He turned and found the lift opened before him with no one inside. Someone might have pressed the button and left without waiting for its arrival.

“Cody,” he heard his name being called from behind. His mind recognized the voice but his heart didn’t. It ignored the voice, as did he. He didn’t turn to look at the person calling him. Heavy steps were closing in and he felt his arms being tugged by other muscular ones. Cody felt himself whirled around and turned towards the caller. Cody gazed at him with tear-filled eyes. He didn’t know when they appeared in his eyes. Perhaps tears loved his eyes more than happiness. Irony!

 

When you seek a love, you won’t get it.

When you chase a love, it will run faster than you, and away.

What’s the fault? What’s in fate? What’s a satire?

O pitiful heart! Don’t anticipate.

O pitying eyes! Don’t wait.

Love is an omnipotent bitch!

She will follow, when she has to.

 

“What happened, Hun? I missed you… in my class?” Max’s voice poured into Cody’s ear. He pulled Cody closer and cupping Cody’s face in his palms, Max gazed into his eyes. “What happened?” reiterating he tried to hug Cody. “I didn’t know you were in trouble.”

But Cody wasn’t expecting Max and he had no feelings for Prof Maximus Wolfe just then. His heart struggled to go somewhere else, and alone. Removing himself from Max’s grip, he stepped back, hitting the hard cold bricks. He rested his back against them and stared at Max emotionlessly.

Max grinned and stepped forward, “Naughty, inviting me up against the wall.” Grinning wolfishly, his mind which always remained in the gutter, took the bait. And leaning over Cody, Max pressed him against the bricks. Cody watched the long empty corridor and the handsome man oozing lust trying to smother him in it. Max’s palms caressed boldly around Cody’s neck, pulled him closer. His breath warming Cody’s chin. Max had forgotten he was in college, and anyone could spot them in their licentious position.

On the other hand, nothing about this situation was arousing Cody. He was as cold as a dead fish buried under ice. Groaning, he pushed Max away and ran into the newly opened lift. He pressed an unknown button and it closed before Max could enter behind him. After regaining his senses, Cody pressed button five and it dropped him silently to the fifth floor.

 

 

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Cody walked straight to Drake’s office. The door was open, so without knocking, he walked right in. He saw Drake gawking at his entrance, yet, ignoring his reservations, he sat down in a chair before him. They looked at each other. Time stood still, and all noise quietened except for the slow, clam-like breathing of the two men.

“I am here only to let you know I felt bad when you said you were dating a lady and staying at her home.”

Drake was silent and after reading Cody’s body language asked. “And why?”

“I don’t know… I cannot explain it… but I did feel bad, like my heart was pierced by several Black Locust’s thorns. I was bleeding and poison was sweeping into my blood…”

“But why?”

With Drake interruptions, Cody’s went silent, his nostrils flared. His cheeks turned crimson as small embers blazed under his pale white skin. “I SAID I DO NOT KNOW. Can’t you understand?”

“No, I don’t. And you don’t need to raise your voice to me.” Staring at the door, and then at Cody’ face, Drake growled in a low pitch.

Cody stared at Drake. Angst was mounting up and it was clearly shown on his face. “I do not know why. And I do not know why you cannot understand this.” He was silent, staring first at Drake’s eyes and then at his lips. “Just… just… I was expecting you to be with me, then… and the thought of you being with a lady all night… hurt my heart.” He hushed, and the air and the office grew heavy. Only, their impatient edgy breathing disturbed the silence. “And I don’t want any arguments with you, or for you to feel bad with whatever happened in class. I am here ONLY to let you know I felt bad about you being with anyone else.”

Drake stayed silent. His mind was rushing through all its corners to discover the problems of this teenager sitting before him. But his conceited mind was blocking all his thoughts. He kept thinking whether it was Cody’s imprudence or candor. For sure, this was not a teenaged problem. Cody always behaved more maturely than his age. ‘How could he behave like this today?’ Drake worried, wondering how to handle this case.

“Don’t smile like an asshole. Like explaining you slept with a whore, and next morning, trying to justify to your wife you were drunk, and staying at a friend’s home.”

“First, I am not an asshole. Second, I DO NOT sleep with whores. Third, You are not my wife. Fourth, I do not answer to you for anything I do. Right?”

“Wrong!” After a long pause with a continuous, intense stare, Cody spoke again, “Yes. You’re right. I am not looking for any answers. I am only opening my heart to you.” Puffing Cody turned to get up from his seat, again, he turned his head towards Drake, “I felt you…”

Now it was Drake’s time to breathe deeply. A soft moan escaped his lips and he prompted to speak but then shut his mouth again. “I don’t know why or how you felt anything like this…”

“You always gave me more attention than the others, didn’t you?”

“I did.” Drake was apprehensive. He never knew giving a little extra attention to a conscientious student such as Cody would lead to this situation. He sighed.

“See… this…” Cody raised finger at Drake.

“What do you mean this?” Drake asked.

“You moaned in front of me. Does this not mean you are moaning for me? Or to have me… or you lust for me…?”

“Just shut the FUCK up.” Angst-ridden words skipped from Drake’s mouth. His cheeks burned crimson in anger. He couldn’t bear anything more from this confused guy. “Cody, you seriously need counseling. I doubt you even like guys. You sound more curious or desperate to me.” Drake’s lips were shaking in angst. His gestures told he wanted to yell more, but was controlling himself. “None of the things I did say I am lusting for you. And I never fantasized about you either.”

Instantly, Cody’s eyes filled with tears. He didn’t cry. He didn’t let the tears roll off his lashes. Instead, he smiled. “I am sorry if I misinterpreted you. I didn’t mean to hurt or irritate you. I was simply disclosing my feelings…” Then, despite trying his best, tears did roll down his cheeks, and he sobbed silently, pushing his fist into his mouth. His head lowered in embarrassment and guilt. Naturally, Cody didn’t want to sound like a lust-burnt guy who was tricking a handsome professor. The feelings arising in his mind after talking to Drake, were not only of dejection, but unacceptable for a person like him, normally so full of self-respect. “I am so sorry, Sir.” He mumbled and attempted to leave.

Drake rushed to take hold of Cody. He forced him to sit back down by pressing his sturdy palms on his shoulders and knelt by him on the floor. “Cody… you are a kind guy and have a big future ahead of you. Why are you spoiling it all?”

But Cody shrugged his hands away, and Drake took them back. Kneeling with his feet tucked underneath, he stared at Cody and then went back to his table, and took a few paper napkins and offered them to him. First rejecting, but after several insisting gestures, Cody took them. Wiping his tears, he kept looking down and away from Drake. The shame was mortifying. “Just ignore… whatever I said… I don’t want to feel humiliated anymore.”

“There’s nothing like humiliation, Cody. It happens with everyone in their life from time to time. Accept it.” Drake consoled keeping his palms on Cody’s knees but Cody shifted back with his chair. He couldn’t bear Drake being so near him. The guy about whom he was fantasizing every night was so far away, though always appeared so near. “Talk to me at least… let me know what you’re feeling.” Drake went back to sit in his chair.

“I am not feeling anything except numbness.” Cody hissed in his sobbing voice. His throat choked with crying. “The harder I try, the further happiness goes away from me. For my entire life I have kept chasing and got nothing for my efforts. Every time, happiness runs through my fingers like sand, leaving behind nothing but emptiness. God! I wouldn’t wish these hopeless feelings on anyone, even my enemies. It feels as if fate is envious of me, and hates to see happiness on my face. Your words are putting blisters on my heart. For God’s sake stop it. Accept me as I am.…” The plea was directly from the bottom of his heart, and Drake felt how needy Cody was.

“Cody, sweetheart, you need to understand… I am your professor… and there are rules to follow.”

“I don’t care about your fucking rules. Neither did I know you are a fucking pussy.”

“I am not. But I am sure for you and myself. I simply do not want to sleep around.”

“Neither do I,”

“So?”

“What do you mean ‘so’?”

A brief pause. “I perceived Maximus and you are dating each other?”

“Since when?”

Shrugging his shoulders Drake sat back. “YOU need to tell me this.” Reading Cody’s face, he continued. “I hope you’re not facing bipolar disorder.”

“No, I am healthy, mentally and physically.” Cody sighed and “Yes, I am interested in Max, and he seems to be interested in me too… but…”

Cody’s words were confusing for Drake. “But, you want to play with both of us…? Like fulfilling your fantasies.” Drake was angry but controlled himself. He knew raising his voice could disturb the situation. Crowds of students were outside the door, and any one of them could come inside at any moment.

“NO.” Cody was neither controlled nor did he want to control himself. He was not there to argue or make his feelings accepted by Drake, but only to know and understand him. But on the other hand, Drake was adding his rich experience and knowledge, and attempting to understand the psychology surrounding Cody’s behavior. Cody hated it. Cody hated him. He sighed. He was not there to understand or make him understand anything. Just disclosing his feelings. And this handsome professor was entangling him all in a mess, and both were getting screwed by it. “I am not playing… just letting you know.” He moaned. “Don’t complicate it. Just listen and understand me...” The humming sound of the students talking outside distracted them.

“Cody, you need to understand, you are undergoing a teenager’s infatuation. Nothing else. That’s why you are switching between us.” Holding Cody’s hands in his, Drake consoled him. He bent over the table coming nearer to Cody. “I want you to give yourself some time before concluding anything.” At that moment, the door swung open and Tina stepped in. She saw Drake holding Cody’s hands in his and both bending over the table, faces so close, their whispers could be taken as a step before a kiss.

Aghast, she stayed frozen for a second. “I… I am sorry.” Tina closed the door behind her leaving them alone.

Both of them saw numerous eyes witnessing the same as Tina, and misinterpreting in the same way as Tina. Drake didn’t take his hands away, which was the only thing which comforted Cody.

Drake had no intention of letting Cody go without making the situation clear.

Neither had Cody any plans to flee.

Finally, Cody broke the silence and mumbled. “I wanted to open up my feelings.”

“We need to talk, but not here…”

Words Cody wanted to hear from him for so long. His eyes twinkled and a faint smile shone on his face. “I want to, I don’t know why, but I trust you the most!” and Cody walked out of the door, making space to pass through the crowd of students.

Drake turned to wake his computer which had gone into sleep mode, and typed Black Locust’s thorn into Google. Since Cody had used it, the phrase was haunting him. Finally he found what he was looking for. The Black Locust’s thorns were poisonous and caused a dangerous infection if they pierced the skin. Drake sighed.