Chapter 5

 

The heart rules its desires…

He reminds me, every time, irrespective of whether he is around, that He Is Mine. No. Big No. He compels me to understand that I am HIS. He constantly forces me to know him, as he wanders exclusively around me, his eyes lingering on me for more than a moment, holding, meaning more than normal wandering eyes. His every act, every sight, and every sigh, arouses unknown feelings and attraction for him. I force myself not to think about him, but while forcing myself away I am spending nights thinking about him. Now he is soaked into my soul. His scent lingers deep into my heart. Ironically, he hasn’t touched me yet.

 

Now only he soothes my eyes

His scent endures on my skin

My eyes hunt him around

My soul chases his aura

 

Why my soul yearns to be impious with him?

Why my skin craves for his?

Why my lips shiver to be held tight by his?

Why my thighs want to feel him throb?

 

Elation! Wanton! Ribald!

 

He is spoiling me!

Is he spoiling me?

I have no brain left to think

Perhaps, I don’t want to think?

 

Come and command me!

Dominate me!

Claim me!

Make me yours!

 

Oh God! See, my yearning! My aches!

Are purring down on sheets.

 

~ Cody ~

 

 

Cody was tapping his pen down on the table while reading his newly written poem for Max. Tonight he got an opportunity to open up his diary and Max followed him there too. Cody’s mind had hooked him. Sitting, eating, or sleeping, whatever Cody was doing, Max supplanted his thoughts there. He blushed and hid his face in the freshly inked pages. Even poems about Max smelled like him. “This guy will make me mad!” Cody screamed and threw the diary in the corner, then ran over to pick it up and check it carefully, “Idiot! You’re an asshole. Fucker.” Hissing at himself. How could he throw a diary having lines about Max? He sulked and cursed.

And, soon, Cody’s pen started bleeding again…

I had no answers for my questions, my dilemma, or my restless heart. He sighed, I sighed. He smiled, I smiled. His heart raced, mine raced too. We didn’t necessarily need to be before each other. Something was connecting us.

Something between, high in the heaven and down on the earth, there was a world of stars who controlled us, manipulated our feelings. They even controlled who would make our hearts pound, rob our regard, soak our feelings, and invoke our emotions. I cursed them and they cursed me back. I moaned and they caused me to moan more, I felt incomplete and they made me hallow. Their every move was to remind me I needed him. Each entanglement of stardust was to push me towards him. And that bloody gorgeous bastard was there to entice me, ready with all his charms. I forced myself but couldn’t resist going over to him. And he was there, on the same turn of the road, waiting for me, for the night, which forced me to do the sin. The sin, which had divided my heart, to commit or not to commit. The darkest licentiousness, concealed in me, somewhere, summoned me up to him. I was on the altar. For anything and everything.

 

---

 

“There’s a small preset hollow in your heart, waiting for a specific heart to find it. YOU are destined for YOURS. However hard you try forcing an unknown into it, it will never fit. A wrong match and your fragile heart will stay broken forever.”

Cody’s heart guided him and his pen wrote all those lines too. He read them thrice and then pleaded to his Diary.

“I know it was a sin. But I wanted to do it. Taste it. Feel it. Let my soul regret later.”

And after a brief pause of staring into space, Cody’s mind was silent like the tide flowing back into the calm ocean. He checked the time it was 3 am. A time for poets and the lovelorn. “I was dying to tell you this! You Gorgeous Bastard! Fucker!” he screamed to no one but himself. His breath kept rising and falling, sweat trickling down against the bone-chilling breeze gusting outside. His aches floating on his face, and fingers longing to dig his nails into Max’s hard, ego-layered skin.

Cody’s emotions kept surging for a while, until the ticking of the clock sought his attention. The clock hands hadn’t moved a single inch. ‘Gosh how impatient I am tonight.’

Thumping his hands on the desk, he moved from his chair and got into bed. There was more going to happen in the morning.

 

 

---

Next morning in the campus

 

There he was, standing in the corridor, among his gang of professors. He was talking, but his lustrous provoking eyes were glued on Cody. Watching him carefully approaching towards him. Though Cody was heading towards his class, which was ahead of their gang, they were obstructing the path. Cody wouldn’t dare to push past. They were professors and he wouldn’t wish to be impolite. But Cody wanted his thirsty eyes to penetrate him and as Cody looked away, to his right side, he passed a smile to his little-known friends, yet still watched the bastard’s licentious stare exploring his body. He was all in a fume. He never knew summer came so early.

It always felt so good when someone stared longingly at him... ogled with a meaningful stare. Even when he wasn’t interested but loved that he was worth looking at. A personality different from others. Worth being someone’s eye pleasure. Part of someone’s fantasies and enough to bring someone to their knees. The urge with how they looked at him. The glance, which had some meaning, and smirk, which narrated all the sins manipulated by the heart, for him, only for him.

But, gosh, he was a teacher. How could Cody stare back at him with such a desirous thirst? Sighing deep, feeling like the Queen of the world, Cody stepped towards the gang. He knew Max was the centre of the eye of many girls, and the crush of numerous others. ‘Damn, he deserved it! Fucking hot sexy.’ The glued eyes of the girls told they were in love with him. “He looks so manly.” One of the girls murmured and Cody heard her. ‘Certainly they are correct.’ He stared at Max’s arms and the right amount of hair displayed at the top of the white hand, the sleeve folded back up to the elbow, and the tight pectoral muscles wrapped beneath the shirt were clear. He almost drooled. ‘This bastard is making me obsessed. I don’t want to show him how big a bitch I am.’

Max’s face was moving following Cody around as he walked. His eyes were bonded with Cody’s smile. His coppery the -amber colored eyes, shone with illicit desire at him. And his crush was broken down. Cody felt his knees becoming weak before him and losing his self-control. He dragged himself into class, otherwise he would be drooling for Max, before the entire gang of professors.

But, his heart ached and warned him. ‘He is not in love with me.’ Max’s eyes penetrated shallower than a lover’s stare. Dancing over his skin and exploring the lust in Cody, his constant looking sight faded at Cody’s lips. But, he consoled his heart, ‘It’s only my overcautious, fragile heart. His eyes are bad at communicating. If he doesn’t like me, then why does he stare at me in public?’ Cody swung round in his place in joy, cherishing, with wide-open hands. As he turned, he found the class was full and everyone was laughing at his stupidity.

Simultaneously, the door opened and that same dangerously handsome face peered through the door. The bastard put his hand over the door and the tough, heavy, wooden door swayed like a toy under his strength. Cody was still there, staring at him, without twinkling his eyes. He smiled and gestured at what he was doing there. Cody blushed and then walked over to the third row, the only empty chair in the class. Girls sitting around were still giggling and peering at him through the corner of his eyes.

For a second he felt himself blushing, but then immediately regained control and sat attentively. Max was standing there in front of the class. Towering over almost everyone. Carrying a naughty grin on his lips, hair trimmed and glued with gel as usual, and wearing tight-fitting jeans. This was new for that day. His thick thighs were stretching the jeans and his black shirt was stuck to his toned body. Cody gulped thick saliva, assuming Max’s strength over him, all over him. But he wasn’t alone fantasizing this. The entire class of girls was thinking the same.

Max stared at him, and Cody found he was drooling and lost in his thoughts. He had solved the question written on the board and was looking at the next problem. A little puzzle game? Or to check who was up to date with the syllabus. ‘Huh, trying to be a smart ass. Though he is.’ Cody blushed on his contrary thoughts. Rohan, a guy sitting next to him poked, “Prof has asked for an answer from you?”

“Huh?”

“Everyone is staring at you. He is waiting for your reply.” Rohan poked and gestured to look at the professor and stand up.

Cody followed his instructions, but was still confused, at what exactly Max had asked for. “I am… Cody, Sir,” he stuttered looking at Professor’s smirking lips, a little curled at the corners. ‘Every time he gives me a signal.’ And the class laughed. Later he realized what was asked for and what he had replied.

“Sit down… it seems your head is not in class today.” Max husked and Cody sat down in his place. The class continued without Cody’s involvement. He knew Max knew what he was thinking about. Perhaps, Max wanted him to daydream about it?

 

---

 

“Where are you lost?” a known sleek voice echoed into Cody’s ears from behind, and at the same time, his hand was tugged by another softer one.

Pausing in his steps, Cody smiled and turned back. His daydreams were still haunting him. Smiling to the speaker, he responded “Nowhere. I am just not able to adjust here!” A lie wrapped in a smile came out. Cody forced another smile and Tina caressed his cheeks. She smiled back at him. Tina chased after Cody after he left Max’s class. Today she hadn’t been sitting near to him, but she guessed Cody had not been in the class before Max had announced him. The cause was haunting her.

“You can always share with me, you know?” Tina pulled Cody towards the cafeteria and Cody followed her steps. He didn’t have any plans and his mind was only just working again after his fantasy. After shoving Cody into the cafeteria chair, she ordered cheese sandwiches and coffee. “Now speak up!” she ordered knowing Cody would follow her words.

“There’s nothing to speak of. At least, not as you are expecting.” Cody mumbled. Sipping coffee, he slid his plate closer to himself. “I was lost in my thoughts when I entered the class.”

“Everyone in the class knew about that. But, the question is, where were you lost? Dreaming about me?” and a sharp giggle escaped her mouth.

“Oh! God! No. Not about you.” Cody laughed hard. “I mean, I don’t think that way about you.”

“Then who?” Tina pressed her palm over Cody. She was determined to know the cause.

“I said. I was lost. And now I don’t know about what.” Cody relaxed, biting his sandwich. He could see Tina hadn’t touched her food. Smiling, he pushed her plate towards her and gestured her to eat.

“Don’t you dare lie to me. You know how bad I am.” Tina growled.

Cody laughed harder. “Seriously, I don’t know. Show me,” blinking, Cody took another bite.

Puffing, Tina sat back. “I just want to comfort you. I can if I know the cause.” She sighed. “Were you dreaming about Max?” Now, this was shocking for Cody too. Lifting his head, he stared at her. His face full of doubts and eyes fixed at her. She pouted, “I am sorry. If I guessed your secret… but you know how I am such a bad stalker.” Cody was silent for a moment. “As you are seeing Max… Prof Wolfe… It seems you are fantasizing about him.”

Cody breathed heavy. He bit another piece and then pushed the rest of the sandwich into his coffee. “And?”

“I am warning you. Don’t dare to make fun of me.” she threatened again. “It’s just my observations. You can throw more light.” Feeling screwed over, she jumped on her cheese sandwich and started eating. “I am seriously hungry. So stop looking at me.” she smiled.

“You are correct...”

“See… what I was saying…” Tina chuckled as if a winner. “I guessed it only a few days back, but I don’t want to puke out… without confirmation…”

“So who else knows about me?”

“No one. Your roommate, perhaps?”

“I don’t care.”

“I appreciate that takes guts.”

“Now?”

“Go and fuck that bugger! I hate math class, you know?”

“I do. You don’t like Max? Girls swoon at him.”

“Let them lick him on his balls. I don’t care. Max is full of attitude and I don’t feel he is reliable,” As the last phrase slipped out of her mouth, she hid her mouth behind both her palms. “I didn’t mean it… I am sorry. I only mean to say he is not my type.”

Cody thought for a second and tried to connect what she just said. ‘Maybe she is correct. He is too wary. Always flirts.’ Ignoring his mental struggle, “So who is your kind? Cole?”

Cole is fine. Don’t you think I will fit better with Drake?” Tina blushed.

Cody smiled and Drake’s aura flashed into his mind. ‘Yep Drake. Girls die to see his smile.’

“Why? You think Drake won’t look good with me?” Tina asked

Cody pranked and smiled wider, “Of course not. He is damn hot and you are too. So two hot people together won’t fit. He will look perfect with me.” Tina rejected. Cody imagined the six-feet tall, buff figure of Drake and then 5’4” Tina with a little extra butter in her skin. Not bad. But he couldn’t accept he would not look good with Drake. Sighing deep, he smiled and Tina reciprocated.

“I know the reality. Drake is not approachable for me, still I try my best. So meanwhile, Cole is good for everything.”

“So you two are not in love with each other?”

“Who Drake and me?” Tina giggled. “I am. But I don’t know about him. Can you confirm for me?” she laughed. “Well Cole and I are good friends… some days, more than friends.” A wicked smile floated on her cheeks.

“Good to know…”

“Would you mind going for dinner with me?” A soft, seductive voice came from Cody’s left side, and he turned his head to it. A 5’6” tall, beautiful diva was standing and staring at him. He blushed.

“With me?” Cody reassured himself.

“Yes with you. She is dying to have dinner with you, at her place and then for all night fun.” Tina hissed, sulked and relaxed in her chair.

A smile fluttered out of Cody’s lips seeing Tina’s reaction, but the lady didn’t bother to look at Tina at all. “Yes, you…”

“Cody myself..? Cody… I feel... I am sorry… I couldn’t… I am going with someone else tonight… perhaps a day or two’s time?”

“Can’t you see we two are dating each other?” Tina hissed again.

Cody smiled at Tina and gestured to be controlled. He didn’t want the lady to feel bad. She pouted and left the café.

“Why did you behave like that?” Cody sulked at Tina.

“Listen. Don’t talk to me like this. She is Abbie. Doing her Math honors. She asked me to connect you two. So I called her into the café at this time. But before she could arrive, I came to know about your anti-lady-dating problem. So I pissed her away. Now she will look for someone herself.” Tina clarified everything in one go. “Everyone needs someone in their life. Other than dicks and pussies.”

“So you were trying to hook us up?” Cody chuckled, and soon it converted into laughter.

“Not exactly a hookup, but you two could do anything you like… we are adults you know?”

“I know. But I am feeling bad on breaking her heart,”

“Who’s? Abbie’s? Oh! Jesus, don’t be. She is always looking for a new boyfriend. You are lucky to get away.” Cody smiled on Tina’s attitude. She was ready to fight for him with anyone. “By the way. I doubt we should be here anymore. I called you only for Abbie. We should get going.” Stamping her foot, she stood up.

“Finish your coffee,” Cody said, pulling her back to sitting.

“Leave it.” she hissed, then turned and drank it all in one sip. “Urgh! It’s already cold. Just like your Abbie.” And laughing, they walked out of the café together.

Cody kept thinking about Tina and her words about Max. ‘Is Max really an unreliable person?’ Taking a deep breath, he walked back to his apartment.