Five
“And turkey for the lady,” Oliver said, handing me the paper-wrapped sandwich as we both sat down to eat. He didn’t often close the store for a lunch break, but it had been slow and Leo hadn’t yet shown up for the day, so Oliver put out the Back in Thirty Minutes sign so we could have lunch peacefully.
“What do I owe you?”
He shook his head with a slanted smile. “Please. You taking this job so quickly completely saved our asses. The least I can do is buy you a sub.”
The back of my neck flushed with heat as I took my first bite. He was talking about the sandwich, but it seemed my thoughts turned everything into a roundabout reference to my newfound preferences.
“Thanks,” I muttered. “So…um…how come you never mentioned Leo being a part of the business until he came back?
I shouldn’t have asked, but he was always on my mind. I was so curious about who Leo was, where he’d been, and why he’d come home, but the relationship building between us wasn’t one of getting to know you conversations. I couldn’t imagine a future rendezvous where I’d ask him about his favorite cuisine after a flogging. Questioning him about his world views wouldn’t much work with a ball-gag in my mouth. So I figured to satiate my hunger for knowledge, I’d do the next best thing and pump his brother for information and hope he wouldn’t find out.
Luckily, Oliver didn’t find my inquiry odd and answered in between sips of his drink. “This place was our dad’s, our grandfather’s before that. When our parents retired and relocated, they handed it off to me. Leo was about to graduate and he was restless. He needed something to focus on after school, something to ground him after his wild stint at college. Dad and I convinced him to stay here and take partial ownership with me. Scared as I was that he’d find a way to screw it up, he took to it surprisingly well. He’s got a mind for business even though he lacked a little direction in the beginning. He proved early on he has a knack for leadership.”
I choked down my last bite and averted my eyes. He showed me the same thing early on. The man was a born leader.
“But that old restlessness and maybe his apt for guidance, I suppose, is what drew him away from the store for the past few years. I’m sure he told you about Marie.”
My lips parted and I shook my head as a pit formed in my gut. “No.”
Why did another woman’s name sound so acidic in my head? Leo was nothing more to me than a coach in deviancy. That’s all I needed him for. But was that all I really wanted? My dark desires could’ve been laced with a number of things, but why the hell was jealousy cropping up? He wasn’t mine to claim.
“Leo may’ve been wild at one time, but our sister Marie has always been a bit of a mess.”
I loathed the relief that rushed through me. Sister. Oliver didn’t notice the catch to my breathing or the way my eyes shut and he continued.
“She’s a single mom and she’s great at picking out horrible boyfriends. Leo went to live with her when our nephew was born and help her get her back on her feet.”
“And now? Why did he leave?”
“Marie’s doing well for once. She needed some independence. And I think she feels guilty for taking so much of Leo’s time.”
I glanced at the clock and saw our lunch break was nearly over. As I stood, I gathered the sandwich wrappers and napkins from the table and tossed them in the trash. “It sounds like Leo’s a good guy…why were you so worried about the way he treated me when he first arrived?” I asked, remembering Oliver’s concern that Leo had been rude to me.
Oliver’s mouth contorted and he wobbled his head from side to side, mulling over my question. “Leo’s a great guy. He has a bit of an edge to him though. I don’t know what his deal is, but I don’t think he realizes how cold he can come across. He’s weird.” Oliver laughed. “I just didn’t want a nice girl like you catching the brunt of his hostility.”
I laughed a little in return, biting my lip to squash the ironic outburst. “You have nothing to worry about. Your brother is definitely blunt, but he’s been nothing but nice to me.”
“Slacking off in the middle of the day, brother?”
I heard Leo’s voice from the front of the store along with the bell and Oliver rolled his eyes. “It’s just a lunch break,” he grumbled.
Turning, I held my breath as his face came into view. Straight nose and perfect teeth, he beamed a smile at me first and I felt my insides quiver. His blue eyes struck me and I let the new information about him paint my vision. The enigmatic man with the smoky voice and the black leather gloves was also a sweetheart who’d drop everything to go help his sister get on her feet and raise a child. And just like that, I was more invested and more intrigued by him. And once again, I hated that anything but lust had melded into the feelings I held for Leo.
***
The sweet old woman handed me a few bills to cover her assortment of gardening books with a smile and I quickly returned the change to her before bagging her purchases. “Have a good night, come back and see us,” I said, passing her the bag of books. As she exited the front door, a familiar face entered. Wendy came in looking as though the store was the last place on Earth she wanted to be. She’d always been friendly to me, but the look on her face as she breezed past the register told me not to offer a greeting. I watched as she peered into the office before turning to me with a huff.
“Is Oliver here? Or Leo? I need my last paycheck.”
My mouth opened and my eyes lifted to see Oliver descending the steps behind her.
“Wendy,” he said, nearly breathless. “Hi. Um…”
“I’m here for my check.”
He nodded fervently and hurried into the office, emerging once he had the envelope in hand. Wendy took it from him without a word and bolted for the door. Oliver rushed after her and I felt my heart seize at the bold move from the quiet man I thought I knew. Thankfully, we were nearing closing time and no customers were inside because the pseudo soap opera playing out before me was too enthralling to take my eyes away. Shamelessly, I peered at the exchange, watching their silent story outside the store front window. The arced lettering of Calloway Books canopied over their heads perfectly, framing the scene as Wendy folded her arms across her chest while Oliver spoke words I couldn’t make out.
“Spying?”
Leo’s deep voice made me flinch and turn to him. A gloating smile lingered on his face as he sidled up next to me and opened the cash drawer to begin counting out for the evening.
“Do you know what’s going on with them?” I asked.
“They’re in love with each other, can’t you tell?”
I shot Leo a look but his eyes remained down, counting the last few dollar bills. When he swept his gaze to me, his eyes softened. One step and he stood behind me, lips at my ear, boldly brushing my hair over my shoulder as he turned my chair gently until I fully faced the window.
“See the way he stares at her mouth as she talks? He can’t stop thinking about kissing her and he’s trying to decide if acting on it will fix things or ruin it all.”
I turned my head to gape at him. Oliver hadn’t said a word about Wendy. In fact, he’d never mentioned a woman or any kind of relationship.
“Fix what? What do you know?”
Leo’s brow creased, but a smirk formed on his lips as he tsked around a light laugh. He put a finger on my chin and put me back into place so I could continue watching.
“She keeps touching her face. He makes her feel uncomfortable—vulnerable—but she’s desperate for physical contact. She wants his hands on her.”
I stiffened barely and thought of how his words could’ve easily been about me. About us. He was right though. Wendy sighed and looked away as Oliver reached out to her with a devastated look on his face. How had I never noticed there was something between them? She pulled away and fixed her gaze on him and though it was hard to tell from the side, I thought I saw tears gleaming in her eyes.
Leo’s smooth whisper rasped in my ear again, causing my breath to run shallow. “She pulls away because she’s afraid of what his touch will do to her. She knows it will melt her, possess her…she knows once he touches her she won’t be able to run from how she feels anymore. She won’t be able to hide from it. We don’t need to hear them to know what they’re saying. They probably aren’t saying much—but I can see it loud and clear. Can’t you?”
Wendy wiped under her eyes and I turned to Leo again, my brows pulled together in the center as I examined his profile while he continued to watch them.
He turned and his eyes narrowed briefly. “What?”
I sighed audibly. “Nothing. What do you need me to do for closing?”
He shook his head and gazed at the window again. I joined him for no other reason than wanting to see his reaction. Wendy threw her hands in the air and turned, storming off and leaving Oliver with his head hung low and his shoulders on the verge of trembling.
“Whoa,” I breathed.
“Go after her, you idiot,” Leo murmured.
Oliver dragged his hands over his face then bounced toward the door, opening it just enough to pop his head in with an exasperated sigh. “Leo, can you close up? I gotta—”
“Yes. Go!” Leo replied. His face lit up as he shooed his brother away.
Oliver smiled and tapped his palm against the door two times. “Thanks, man,” he said as he jetted off in the direction Wendy had gone.
I spun the stool I sat on and grinned at Leo. “Tell me everything. I’m dying to know what the hell just happened.”
He didn’t look at me. The little smile on his face faded into something almost stern but closer to stoic. He took a set of keys from his pocket and locked the cash register. “No,” he said.
“No? Come on, I need the dish. Oliver’s been holding out on me.” My brain didn’t catch up quickly enough to recognize the look in his eyes as the intoxicating mixture of lust and dominance I’d been craving. He faced me and put the keys in my hand.
“Lock the front door. Close the blinds. Meet me upstairs.”
My chest flared with an electric pulse as my fingers closed around the keys. I stood stunned as he smoothly moved to the coat rack near the office and pulled something from his coat pocket. When he reached the bottom of the metal staircase, he looked at me, unmoving and wide-eyed. Penetrated by his gaze, a ripple of fear and temptation swelled inside me as I watched him pull on the pair of black gloves I’d been aching to see once more before taking his first step to the second floor.
I blew out a breath and turned for the door with weak limbs. This was it. Round two. What waited for me upstairs? The click of the deadbolt rang around the rush of my blood in my ears and I somehow found the clarity to yank the blinds down over the window, turning off the neon Open sign as well.
I could do this. I wanted this. I wanted him. I wanted new. I wanted that freefall feeling in my belly at least one more time.
My feet led me to the stairs and I peered up, holding on to a moment of freedom before I fell under his rule for however long he pleased. Drawing in a breath, my shoulders rose then sank down again before I took a conscious step toward my fantasies.
The door of the room where the first tendrils of our web had been spun barely cracked when he gave his first orders. “Sit at the table with your hands in your lap and your eyes down.”
My right arm trembled so violently, I pumped my hand in a fist as I did as he said, urging it to stop. Leather fingertips brushed my hair over my shoulders the same way his gentle bare hands had downstairs and an involuntary shudder claimed me. My lungs ached as I held my breath to keep from panting. The anticipation sent me reeling. Maybe I couldn’t do this.
“Breathe,” he whispered.
Though his voice wasn’t the dark rasp I knew as the one he used to command, I obeyed him as if it had been a growl. A heavy huff staggered from my nose and a gloved hand rested on the back of my neck, easing my panic. I felt him towering over the chair, finding my cheek to speak against.
“Yellow if you’re approaching a limit and you want me to slow down. Red if you reach a limit and want me to stop what I’m doing. And black if you need to end the scene for any reason. Nod if you understand.”
Slowly my head bobbed, his colorful lullaby soothing me one step further. I heard a faint sigh that sounded like it could’ve been a breathy laugh and exhilaration flooded me. Acutely aware of where he stood, I kept my eyes on the table feeling him straighten behind me. He tossed a pencil, a rubber band, and four black binder clips on the table. Staring at them, my eyes narrowed at first and then my imagination took off like a rocket. Shit. Where were those things going? I bit down on my bottom lip and tried to breathe. I was safe. I could stop this at any time.
“Put your hair up,” he said.
Without thinking, I whipped my head to the side and gazed up at him. One corner of his mouth upturned and he simply pointed to the rogue office supplies, granting me mercy for my unauthorized glance. “Use one of those. I don’t care which, just get the hair up and off your neck and shoulders.”
I resisted the urge to smile and nodded. I quickly grabbed the pencil and held it between my teeth as I gathered my hair in my hands and twisted it into a bun. Securing it by sliding the pencil through my thick strands, I pulled my lips inward when I heard another less subtle laugh.
“That’s better. Now listen carefully,” he started. “You’re going to sit there, still, while I ask you some questions. If you hesitate when answering or if you lie…or if you shiver or pull away from me, I’ll start counting.”
My mouth popped open but I put myself in check quickly enough that I didn’t make a sound. However, Leo must’ve noticed my attempt. “Need to say something? Go ahead,” he allowed.
I focused my eyes on the rubber band still lying on the table and twisted my lips contemplating whether I should even ask. “Counting…what?”
“For every time you don’t follow the rules, you’ll get a spanking. And since you felt the need to interrupt me just now, I’ll be counting by twos.”
I breathed deeply and squeezed my thighs together at his gruff reply. By the end of this, I’d be wet and aching for him and I wondered if he intended to do more than spank me.
“Are you ready?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
Lost in my thoughts, I flinched when Leo appeared at my side, reaching toward the buttons of my shirt. Stunning blue eyes collided with mine as his leather covered fingers popped open each button. When the fabric split open, he pushed it down my shoulders, allowing him the sight of my white bra and my bare, pale skin. The air tickled over my chest and a quick chill moved through me.
“We haven’t even begun and you’ve already disobeyed. That’s two,” he sneered.
My mind raced attempting to recall the rules. Answer the questions. Don’t hesitate. Don’t lie. Don’t shiver or pull away. Leo disappeared from sight and my hearing suddenly became keener as I listened for his footfalls to know how close he was to me.
“How old are you?”
What? I wasn’t sure what I imagined he’d ask me but it certainly wasn’t that. By the time my lips parted to answer, he growled.
“That’s four. How old are you?”
“Twenty-seven.”
“How many sexual partners have you had in those twenty-seven years?”
Fuck. I counted as quickly as I could, praying my answer wasn’t a lie as I blurted it out onto the air. “Four.”
Silence filled the space and I shifted barely. Feeling my shirt slipping down my arms, exposing more of me, I resisted the tremor that began rolling up my spine. But the moment a sharp zing traced across the back of my neck, I succumbed and felt goosebumps bloom along every inch of my skin as I shook the way I would if a feather dragged along my flesh.
“Six,” he said coolly.
I lowered my head, shaming myself. I sat with my shirt hanging off of me, letting a man in black leather gloves do God knows what to my neck while he interrogated me. He was good at this. Better than I’d imagined he would be even after the first time. He had me in complete submission, yearning to please him. The realization filled me with sudden conflict and my mind flipped to a time three years ago when another man had wielded such power over me.
“Look at me,” I heard him say from across the table.
I snapped out of my memories and into the present. He’d taken a seat opposite me while I berated myself for the cold chills I’d allowed and the submission I’d granted another. When I looked at him, he smiled the sinister grin he’d shown me a few times already. He held up a thin silver tool of sorts for me to see and twirled it between his fingers. It had a long handle, as long as a pen, with a spiked metal wheel on one end. My eyes narrowed on the tool and for a moment, I thought of my grandmother.
When I was a child, she’d tried to teach me to sew and quilt alongside her but I’d never taken to it like she hoped. The thing Leo held out to me wordlessly looked like something I’d seen her use once to…trace a pattern? I wasn’t sure. I couldn’t place it. And I knew damn well Leo didn’t intend on turning me into a seamstress with it.
“Consider this your distraction,” Leo said, pressing the sharp tines of the wheel into one fingertip, threatening to pierce the leather. He stood and moved behind my chair once more so I was blind to his movements, the sound of his breathing my only clue.
Cool metal touched my bare shoulder and I instantly stilled. No shiver, no goosebumps, no reaction. Though the sharp intake of a gasp I heard from behind me nearly made me melt. This series of quick-witted movements, each of us trying to outsmart the other, was the kind of game I’d never played. Not like this. He wanted to rattle me and I so desperately wanted to please him yet, hearing him count my eventual punishments aloud made warmth pool within me.
Confusion addled me and as I considered what I truly wanted and how this sensual interchange reminded me of unhealthier days, the spiked wheel began to roll across my skin. As he spoke his next question, he pushed down and I sank my teeth into my bottom lip to keep from stirring at the pain.
“Do you masturbate, Sloane?”
“Yes,” I croaked and he lifted the tines from my skin, relief and adrenaline waving over me.
“When was the last time you touched yourself?”
My words flowed out, broken by a moan, as another prickle danced in a line from my hair down to the top of my bra strap. “This mo—oh—orning.” Thinking of how I’d woken up with a hand down my panties, a dream leading me to waking visions to send me over the edge, I sighed. Sleep came easier now that my body’s responses were driven by release instead of stress.
Leo chuckled and rolled the wheel up my spine so quickly it felt like a knife slicing me. And I adored it. My senses were on high alert, my skin tingling, my head swimming and my stomach flipping with excitement.
“What was that?”
“This morning,” I whispered.
A deep noise built in his chest and I gasped when a black glove threaded into the hair pulled up at the back of my head. His fist tightened, yanking on the strands roughly. Leo drew my head back and brushed his mouth against my temple.
“Were you thinking about me?”
The tight grip stung my scalp and the roughness of his touch and his voice triggered the beginnings of my freefall. My eyes closed and my chest heaved as a whimper left me. He was all I thought about. This morning. Last night. Every night since I first heard his voice.
“Eight.” He tugged on my hair again. “Did. You. Think of me?”
“Mmm hmm.”
The weak reply vibrated from my throat to my closed lips. A gust of warm breath expelled onto my cheekbone before he shoved my chair back away from the table. In an instant, he was in front of me with his hand reclaiming its position at the back of my neck. Leather captured my throat as Leo grasped my neck from both sides. I was completely at his mercy. With a strong twist, he could break my neck. I wasn’t putting my life in his hands though. He’d done exactly what I knew he could—he saw on my face what I wanted. Though confusion still attempted to swamp me, I silently begged for escalation. I craved him moving me like his puppet. Playing with me like a doll. Made for his enjoyment.
“Open your eyes.”
Pulling my heavy lids open, I came face to face with him before me, his strong hands keeping my chin tilted up. I expected a dark look. Though I was already starting to lose myself to the spin, I read his expression and swallowed hard, feeling the pressure of his palm increase—testing me. The look in his eyes was anything but dark. It was light, shining, thrilled and nearly awestruck. I watched as he scanned my face, blinking, brow furrowing then lifting as though he’d lost himself to an overwhelming feeling too.
“Did you come?” he whispered down at me.
“Twice,” I choked out.
His lips crashed into mine hard and he moved his other hand to assist in strangling me. My fingers itched to reach out to him but I didn’t dare. The muscles in my body lost their sense of gravity and the float began. My insides levitated as his tongue invaded my mouth. Gloved hands on me, a few sharp prickles across my skin to distract my senses and a brutal kiss moved me more than sex ever had. The interrogation was foreplay and this kiss was the main event. Though my core throbbed, aching to be filled and driven to release, I felt utter satisfaction from his mouth on mine and the penetration of his tongue only.
His hands tightened for a split second, stealing my breath as he released me from the kiss, then releasing me altogether. I panted, starved for air and freedom but devastated by the overwhelming feeling of loss without him joined with my body.
A scatter of chills rippled through me. This was so much more than I expected. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for the boundless emotions that threatened to consume me. He’d gone easy on me, I knew it. If he could make me feel like this with a little warm up, what would his true potential do to me? He’d own me for sure.
“Ten.”
My eyes whipped up to meet his, wondering what I’d done. He dragged a finger down my arm, drawing my eyes to the damning evidence of every fine hair standing at attention, tiny bumps turning my body into Braille for him to read.
“All things considered, you’re a very good girl,” he said. “But I know you can be better. You just have to learn.”
I searched myself for the right word to describe the way he made me feel. His hands, his voice, his orders, his praise and his punishment left me—raw. In every sense of the word. I was unrefined, inexperienced in this lifestyle. I felt awakened by the primal urges deep in my soul. My body and mind reacted viscerally to the long-awaited and most pleasurable damage I’d ever allowed anyone to inflict on me. Was this all I’d ever needed? Was this the path to drudging up and curing my pain? By feeling it on my skin and letting it please me and someone else?
“Stand up,” Leo said, snapping me back to the scene.
I rose and the motion caused my shirt to fall almost completely off, hanging on at my wrists only, the crisp fabric flowing over my backside like a train. Leo stood before me and looked in my eyes as he guided the shirt up my arms and onto my shoulders, smoothing it into place before buttoning it up. A wave of rejection crashed on me, fueled by my persistent emotional overload. He was done with me. No interest in taking what I was willing to give.
“You have a beautiful body,” Leo said as he secured the button between my breasts. I swallowed hard but didn’t look at him. The freefall was over and dejection loomed, ready to swarm me.
“I want to see the rest,” he breathed.
His hands slid down the sides of my waist until he reached the button of my jeans. Releasing the metal button and slowly pulling down the zipper, the feeling of leather fingers and palms smoothing over my belly and hips as he pushed my jeans down shot tingles in every direction. My jeans stopped just below my knees and Leo crouched down in front of me, feeling the backs of my thighs as my limbs wobbled. Locking my eyes on a spot on the bookshelf across the room, I sighed when he pressed a kiss at the seam of my panties and spoke against my skin.
“What do you want, Sloane?”
I whimpered, holding on to my words.
“Twelve. Tell me what you want.”
My own heat scorched me and only raged hotter when the tempting gloves inched my panties down to meet my jeans at the knee. Bared to him, with his face nearly nestled at my core, I struggled to breathe. He wasn’t done with me and I feared that the feelings clouding my mind would mean I’d never be done with him. How long had I waited for this? My need to be wanted only outweighed by my default of wanting to be manipulated. Leo granted me both but in a way I’d never experienced. My heart grew heavy again, letting the shame and regret of my former life chain me up, denying me that floating sensation Leo offered with his breath at my sex.
“I want you to hurt me. Punish me,” I whispered.
A smile broke out on his face and he moved into the seat he’d placed me in before. Then his hand gripped my wrist and tugged until I stumbled over to him, my legs tangled in my half-shed clothing. He yanked me forward, taking me over his knee like a disobedient child, my ass up ready for his assault.
I tucked my chin down and panted—waiting. Smooth, cool leather swept over the bare skin of my buttocks and when he just barely tapped the skin, I flinched.
“Fourteen,” he said, a clear grin in his words. “Now you do the counting. If you don’t count, I’ll just keep going until you get it right. Understand?”
“Yes,” I managed. It was so much more intimate this way, with my heartbeat pounding against his thigh and his arm lying heavily across my back holding me down. And then there was the fact that I didn’t have even the light protection of cotton over me.
Without any more lead up, the first crack of leather against skin rang through the air. My flesh stung. He’d been holding back last time.
“One,” I choked, starting the long countdown.
The raps came in quick succession with no chance for me to recover in between each one. But I gritted out my numbers, around groans and pleasure-laden sighs. The hum of my skin as he struck me had my core pulsating erratically by the time I grunted out, “Ten.”
He stopped there and smoothed over both cheeks delicately, soothing the surely reddened flesh. My head dropped again and I sighed, knowing it wasn’t over but too exhausted to let the anticipation rule me for a moment longer. When I fully relaxed across his lap, a blow more powerful than the rest made me cry out. Another came before I gave the count and it forced another scream from me. By the third strong slap—his promise to be unrelenting if I couldn’t do as I was told, kept—my vocal chords scraped and my teeth clenched.
“Eleven!”
Harder.
“Twelve!”
Lightening shot from my clit to my belly button as arousal surpassed pain.
“Thirteen!”
My feet thrashed, not to get away from him or to make him stop, but to rub my myself against his lap, wanting nothing more than to work the growing orgasm to fulfillment. The final slap stole my breath and made me fall limp against him, the entrancing plummeting feeling taking over, but not before I whispered, “Fourteen,” as everything faded to black.