Sixteen
The spray of the shower trickling over my backside made me wince, reminding me of the pain I’d endured. Though Leo insisted he rub lotion onto my buttocks once the scene ended, the marks remained and every clench shot a tiny jolt up my spine. I soaped up with Leo’s bar and washcloth and rinsed my hair with cool water. Wrapped in a clean towel, I entered his bedroom and smiled, catching him slipping into his boxer briefs.
After weeks of teasing, he’d had me twice. He’d filled me with every inch of him and rocked me into a sensual storm, yet his body still seemed unattainable to me. I’d never wrapped my hands around his cock. I’d never had the pleasure of letting my fingers roam the surface of his skin freely. Someday, I hoped he would allow me the privilege of touching him as I pleased. But after what transpired between us last night, I knew he would be the one deciding where my hands went.
His hair still damp from the shower as well, Leo shot me a slanted grin as he pulled on gray slacks. “You sure we should go to work?” he asked.
I laughed and rolled my eyes, looking around the room for my bra and panties. I found my underwear and tugged them on, still holding the towel around my body, but couldn’t find my bra anywhere. Leo cleared his throat and I looked up from where I’d crouched next to the bed, hoping to find it hiding under furniture. With a soft smile, he held out the lacey bra to me on one finger. I reached for it and he drew his arm back teasingly. My lips smashed together in a line, smothering the irritated smile he’d become rather good at producing.
“You want this back?” he asked smugly. “Gotta pay the toll.”
Narrowing my eyes on him, I understood the moment he gestured to my towel. Butterflies invaded my belly and without a second thought, I dropped the soft terry cloth from my body and watched his blue gaze darken. He didn’t move to touch me. He didn’t toss me on the bed or bind my hands above my head. He strutted toward me and offered the piece of lingerie just as easily as I accepted it. His mouth fought against a smile when he turned his back to me and I bit my lip at the sight of his tattoo.
“When did you get your tattoo?”
Leo looked over his shoulder at me as he entered his closet. “About four years ago.”
Part of me wanted to ask him about the significance, but I knew I didn’t need to. I was beginning to understand the many sides of him and the fierce yet soft gaze of the beast told me everything I already knew. That Leo was as proud and noble as the image he wore. Strong, authoritative…and lionhearted.
I found my jeans from the day before folded on the dresser and knew it must’ve been Leo’s doing. I pulled them on, cringed, then sighed, wondering how I’d get away with wearing the same thing two days in a row without eliciting a few snickers from Oliver and Wendy. I ducked out of the room to find my purse with my coat where Leo had hung it and went back to his dresser, facing the mirror above it. I popped one pale blue pill into my mouth from the oval compact and swallowed it dry then dug for my lipstick. It wasn’t much but it would have to suffice. Leo reappeared and I watched him walk up behind me through the mirror. He set a shirt on top of the dresser and took hold of my hips, turning me gently.
Leo leaned into my space, pressing his hands against the dresser. “My sister left a few things here once. It might be a little big on you but it’s better than swimming in one of my shirts,” he said.
I glanced over at it and smiled softly. Before my eyes swept over to him, I caught a glimpse of the gloves lying near the shirt. They looked so innocent without his hands filling them. Leo followed my eyes to the gloves and then we looked at each other. I didn’t dare ask him to wear them, not after last night. I sucked in a small breath when he slowly reached out for them, putting them on. With my sore ass butted up against the wooden dresser, I breathed heavily in anticipation. To my amazement, Leo picked up the tube of lipstick I’d pulled from my purse. He removed the cap and twisted it up to see the shade. His brow rose and one hand gripped my chin while the other painted my lips for me. The intensity with which he watched the creamy lipstick coat my mouth sent a shudder rolling through my body. My mouth hung open after he’d finished and smirked devilishly, looking over his work. Slowly, he sank to his knees with the lipstick still in hand and unbuttoned my jeans, tugging them down just a little.
I shivered again when he looked up. Though kneeled before me, I still recognized his authority and offered myself to him to do as he wished. I watched as he Leo brought the burgundy lipstick to the skin just above my panties, drawing a single word. My breath ragged and my core tingling, I lit up the second he stood. He turned me around to look at myself in the mirror and though it was backwards, I read his handwriting along my flesh and gloried at the branding. Mine. His. His number one. The four-letter word thrilled me and I couldn’t keep the sexy grin off my rouged lips. We locked eyes in the mirror and he simply handed me the shirt he’d brought out.
“Get dressed,” he commanded. “I’ll warm the car up.”
With that, he removed the gloves and returned them to their resting place and left me quivering in his bedroom, stunned by the unexpected scene.
***
Stealing glances at Leo across the store all day made for a permanent blush on my cheeks that Wendy was snarky enough to point out. By mid-afternoon, I’d gathered up a box of books to take over to Ethan at the coffee shop. A handful of bestselling titles mixed with a few books on local history, some kids books and a couple thick art collections were tightly packed into the old paper box I’d found in the office.
Oliver came around the corner with a bottle of furniture polish and a rag. “What’s all that?” he asked, gesturing toward the box.
“These are the books I’m taking over to Black and Brew. The manager told me he’d clear shelf space and keep track of sales for us. I think it’s a really nice fit, working with them. What goes together better than coffee and books?”
A slanted smile morphed his face and he nodded absently. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your help. Is everything all pulled together for the festival?”
“Yep! I have all the books I think we should take with us already pulled. I have table decorations, flyers for the Black Friday sale, and coupons for the first twenty-five people at the table.”
“You are phenomenal,” Oliver exclaimed.
“Just doing my job,” I said. “Do you know where I can find Leo?”
His grin turned knowing and I blushed again. “I think he’s upstairs.”
I thanked Oliver and made my way up the metal staircase to the room Leo where had first inaugurated me as his sub. The door creaked open and I saw Leo standing at the table that held a few memories. He picked up a book from the strewn about mess and squinted at the title before lifting his eyes to meet mine. Expecting a sultry brood, I melted at the boyish expression he wore, beaming a genuine full grin at me.
“Hi,” he crooned.
“Hey.” The trembling breath behind my voice was one I’d no longer be embarrassed by. Leo’s effect on me was evident in every moment we shared and I wouldn’t try to hide it any longer. “I’m going to head down to the coffee shop. You want to walk with me?”
As if it were possible, his lips split wider and his eyes set alight. “Always,” he said, dropping the book back on the table.
I led the way downstairs and the moment we were out the front door, Leo carrying the box of books easily under one arm, he slipped his hand in mine. Brisk air rushed over my cheeks and I felt autumn finally breeze through Salem.
“Are you okay?” Leo asked quietly.
I turned and caught his eyes from the side, his handsome profile distracting my mind for a moment. “Yeah,” I said. “Why?”
“Last night. It was a lot to take in. If it was that serious for me, I can only imagine how you feel.”
My bottom lip tucked into my mouth as he squeezed his hand around mine. I’d never considered the fact that a scene might be intense for Leo. I realized I’d never considered how it affected him at all. We approached Black and Brew just as my thoughts formed properly and when I opened my mouth to ask what he meant, I heard Leo’s cell phone buzzing in his coat pocket. He let go of my hand to dig for it then huffed.
“Hang on, sorry. It’s Marie.”
“Sure, yeah. You’ve got to take it,” I said fumbling to take the book box from him as he grimaced. “I’ll meet you inside.”
His face contorted and he nodded before answering. I left him on the sidewalk outside the shop and pushed through the door using my back. I found the shelf Ethan had promised to clear and set the box on the floor near it. Ethan came into view just as Leo entered through the front door.
“Hey, Sloane! You changed your hair. I like it,” Ethan said with a cheery grin.
I smiled at him and felt a hand touch my lower back when my greeting rolled out. I nearly faltered, catching the scent of Leo hovering behind me. “Yeah, hey,” I said. “Is it okay if we start shelving these books?” I hooked my thumb over my shoulder at the display.
“Totally,” Ethan said. His eyes drifted over my shoulder and offered a weak smile to Leo. “Hey, man. You work at Calloway Books too?”
I heard a scornful noise build in his throat and shot him a glare as he reached for Ethan’s hand contemptuously. “I’m the owner,” he pressed.
His tone reminded me of the red signature he’d scrawled on me earlier and I suddenly felt aware of how the makeup made my jeans stick to my skin.
“Cool,” Ethan said, letting go of Leo’s firm hand. His lips pulled up in a tight smile and he glanced at me. “I’ll be behind the counter if you guys need anything.”
I forced a little smile and turned to Leo the second Ethan walked away. “What was that?” I asked, attempting to keep the irritation out of my voice.
Leo smirked and started unloading the books. “What was what?”
I rolled my eyes and helped him arrange the display using the bookstands I’d brought. “Is everything all right with your sister?”
“Yeah, she wanted to give me an update. His fever is gone and he’s coughing less.”
I placed the last book on a stand, facing outward, and smiled at him. “That’s good,” I said. “It’s really sweet how much you help her. I bet your nephew just adores you.”
The absent smile that claimed his mouth was heartwarming as he clearly thought of his nephew. “Barry’s great. You’d like him.”
“His name is Barry?” I asked, my mouth falling open. “Oh, that’s so cute!”
Leo chuckled and picked up the empty box. He took my hand and began walking me out the door. I stuttered some kind of protest and looked over my shoulder to find Ethan. I wanted to thank him again, but Leo’s grasp on my hand kept my feet moving and when I didn’t see him behind the counter I pushed the thought away, letting Leo lead me.
Heading back in the direction of the bookstore, Leo kept his fingers laced with mine. He cleared his throat and my skin prickled with goosebumps, waiting for his voice to ring out on the air as though I could sense it coming.
“Would you want to meet him?”
“What? Who?”
He shot me a sidelong glance and his face fell serious. “Barry. And Marie. They’re coming for the Fall Festival. My parents are, too. I was thinking…I could introduce you to everyone.”
“You want me to meet your parents?” I asked breathlessly.
Instead of answering me, as we reached the front of the bookstore, he squeezed my hand tightly and pressed a kiss to my temple before opening the door for me. The ache in my chest swelled and subsided in the same moment watching a nearly undetectable tender smile twitch on his lips.
***
Leo drove me home after work and I felt déjà vu as he pulled into my apartment complex. My mouth took charge, inviting him in without my full permission. He smirked as though he knew the effect he had on me and followed me into the kitchen.
“You hungry?” I asked.
“Sure. You cook?”
I laughed. “I’m decent. I’ll see if I can come up with something to compete with your mac and cheese.”
He took the opportunity to nose around my living room while I watched from the little cut out window above my sink. Washing my hands, I followed him around the room with my eyes, pulling in a breath when he stopped in front of the photograph sitting on my windowsill. I watched his brows dip together in the center as he reached out to pick up the frame, frowning. It was the last family photo in which my family was still intact. He turned and caught me staring at him and I quickly averted my eyes, moving to preheat the oven. I grabbed the ingredients I needed from the refrigerator and my cabinets and starting prepping a lasagna with my eyes down.
As water boiled and the ground beef sizzled, browning in the pan on the stove, I heard him clear his throat behind me. I turned and saw him leaning against the kitchen doorway.
“Was it insensitive of me,” he started. “To ask you to meet my parents considering…”
“Considering I have none for you to meet?” I finished his thought with a snap that surprised us both. “Sorry,” I muttered. I wiped my hands on a towel and folded my arms across my chest, leaning back on the counter to stare at him. “No. It wasn’t insensitive. I know you didn’t mean anything by it. Family is a tough one for me. And it’s not just that, it’s—I’m still feeling a little off balance here. What we are. What we’re doing. This…whatever you want to call it—”
“Relationship.”
I sighed and continued. “This relationship is still really new. I like it, I like you, I like…us. But....”
He strode toward me, concern painting his face, and picked up the wooden spoon sitting on the trivet and began stirring the browning meat for me. I busied my hands by mixing the other ingredients, hoping silence wouldn’t plague us the rest of the night. I glanced at him as my insides coiled tightly. He never stopped pushing the meat around the pan. He kept his eyes down and sighed.
“I get the feeling you think you’re the only one off balance. Sloane, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I’ve waited for my opportunity to have a person like you in my life—someone I can be myself with inside and outside the bedroom. And yet, I’m lost. I could’ve easily asked you out—made it clear that I wanted something different in the beginning. But instead, I played the game I know how to play. The one I’m good at. I could’ve given you my phone number but I gave you my medical records. I wanted to know things about you but instead of asking, I held an interrogation scene. I invited you to Gabe’s house mostly so I could have a meal beside you. I sometimes feel like I’m just a timid young man alongside you—pretending to be in control, pretending to be more. I’m drawn to you in way that makes me feel as though I’m the one on my knees. I think I was made to be your Dom, Sloane. But I want to be more. I just don’t know what it takes. I’ll be anyone you need me to be. Just show me how.”
I reached out and stopped his hand from stirring the food. He looked at me, then dropped the wooden spoon and faced me fully as I kept his hand in mine, surprised by his sudden honesty. It was possibly the most normal moment we’d ever shared. That moment between a couple when they admit they’re scared and being scared can only mean one thing. They care. Deeply.
“You don’t need to be anyone but who you are. You’re not pretending. Just be,” I breathed, reaching out to touch his face. “Just be with me and I’ll be with you.”
Leo leaned into my touch and shut his eyes. I didn’t realize how much comfort I’d get from seeing him like that. Soft and vulnerable. A moment passed and Leo let a soft smile touch his lips before turning to press a kiss on my palm.
“What else do you need help with here?”
I swallowed and dropped my hand from his face, turning toward the stove. He was so good at taking the perfect opportunity to delve deeper into us and changing the subject as though he only had enough energy to express one thought at a time.
I asked him to grab the pasta sauce while I drained the noodles. Each time I asked for assistance, he was there, tending to my request. He opened a bottle of wine while I carefully spread the layers of ingredients in a glass dish. I slid the lasagna into the oven and set the timer just as Leo offered me a glass of Cabernet, ticking his head to one side, gesturing for the sofa.
We sat together as we had after the party and I remembered what I’d felt that night. I could’ve laughed thinking about the way we’d both been so blind to each other’s intentions.
Leo’s free hand reached out, his delicate fingers trailing down the back of my neck. He let out a throaty sigh. “I really love your hair like that,” he said.
I grinned. “I can tell.”
“I haven’t told you enough how beautiful you are.”
My chest burned with the kind of lovely ache I’d always wanted to feel. His voice had a way of enthralling me and coupled with his gentle touch—the one I rarely expected—I was lost to him. There was time for him to call me beautiful. Time for him to touch me and kiss me and leave marks on my body for days. Time for us to have the conversations we needed to have—slow and steady. One at a time. I hadn’t planned on Leo and I doubted he’d planned on me but suddenly, as I stared into his eyes over the rim of my wine glass, watching the way he carefully examined my every inch, I knew I couldn’t walk away.
“Do you ever talk about them?”
His question pulled me from the starry-eyed soliloquy waltzing through my head and my brow furrowed.
“Who?”
“Your parents.”
I inhaled through my nose and took a quick sip of wine. It wasn’t a topic I usually sought out, but I didn’t dread telling Leo about my family the way I did with others.
“Not often, but of course I talk about them. What would you like to know?”
His face fell—crumpled into a darkened state. His silence brought a sigh from me and I reached out to take his hand. Suddenly, everything felt easier with Leo. As if his honesty after the savagery of our play had somehow balanced him in my eyes. It balanced us.
“I was fifteen.” Leo squeezed my hand. “They were going out for my mom’s birthday. Dad got her a limo and they were headed to pick up some of their friends. Semi driver fell asleep at the wheel.” I swallowed and shrugged when tears sprang to my eyes unexpectedly.
“I’m so sorry.”
I forced a pained smile and Leo took my glass of wine, setting it on the coffee table alongside his. He pulled me close to him, clutching my face between his hands so our eyes locked.
“You’ve been strong for a long time, haven’t you?”
My chin trembled. He wasn’t really asking me the question. He knew the answer, just like he knew every part of me. I still didn’t understand how, but I didn’t care. I allowed him inside, where he searched my soul and traced the seams where I’d once been broken. Once again, a storm of uncertainty rolled into my heart. He was memorizing my pieces, figuring out exactly how I was put together but I still had so little understanding of how he was arranged inside.
“How do you do that, Leo?” I asked.
His eyes narrowed. “Do what?”
“I can see you making sense of me in your head. How do you do it?”
His thumb brushed over the apple of my cheek and he stared at my lips. “You let me.”
Sadness coated his response and before I could beg an explanation from him, he guided me back on the sofa, propping me against the arm, leaving my hips lifted by throw pillows. His hand traveled down my body slowly and popped the button of my jeans open.
I gasped. His eyes remained on mine as he dragged the zipper down and pulled the fabric apart. I swallowed hard and remembered the word he’d written just above my sex.
“What are you doing?”
He stared at the word on my belly.
“I wrote this because I want to call you mine,” he whispered before looking up at me. “But all the insight into you in the world—your thoughts, emotions, your past, even the little things like how you drink your coffee and the way you scrape your bottom lip when you’re feeling anxious …everything you’ve ever let me read about you through your eyes, through your touch, and through the wordless exchanges that say the most, none of that knowledge says you belong to me. You know that, right? I don’t think I own you. You don’t belong to me.”
When he’d inscribed my skin with the word, I hadn’t felt a loss of independence. I thought it was sexy. Erotic. It was foreplay to a later game in which I’d hand myself over to him. But it was clear that Leo felt some sort of regret. The same way he’d alluded to feeling our other scene seriously, I could see in his eyes he was struggling with what he’d done before we left for work.
Butterflies filled my stomach. I glanced down at the smudged lipstick across my abdomen and remembered how it had made me feel that morning. I remembered how Leo had always made me feel. Even when I felt confused by him, I wanted him. I trusted him. No one had ever made me feel as good as Leo. Even with his authority lorded over me and the way he infiltrated my mind, I felt strong and capable. Beautiful and wanted. Warren no longer laced himself intricately in my desires for punishment and my life finally felt like a new chapter, completely clear of him.
I held him with my gaze as firmly as he usually held me. “What if I choose to belong to you?”