Fifteen
One minute, we snuggled on the bench under a blanket by the door, Marin behind me. He rubbed his hand along my stomach and nibbled along my neck. I lounged across his lap, secure and happy, looking at the lake, daydreaming.
The next, Xade appeared in the field in front of us, flanked by two others, right where the clan had watched our mating.
I blinked.
I hadn’t felt him. I could always feel him before this. This bone-deep chill preceded his arrival. The pregnancy must have dulled my senses… My happiness took away my edge.
Marin froze. The way I lay across him hampered his movements. He slid sideways, moving me upright. My eyes never left Xade’s.
“How cozy,” Xade said. Oddly enough, he spoke English and his words didn’t echo like the Fost. I’d gotten so used to the dubbing, his voice sounded flat without it.
Xade looked the same, not just from the last time I’d seen him, but from all my memories. He was my height with pale corpse-like skin and thin bloodless lips. His hair was platinum blonde and fell to his chin from a precise center part. He wore the shivat with a weapon of some sort belted at his waist. The sight of him, god. My hands clenched. My breath grew choppy. The freak. And his eyes, the glitter was the same. This was the look I remembered when I dreamed at night.
I glanced right and left. His companions were exact copies. That sameness was unnatural. The Stepfords, I called them, his clones. There was always something about them that rubbed me the wrong way. And their smiles, they appeared ever so pleased to see us. Xade in particular. He appeared almost giddy, his grin a rictus of a smile.
My hands fluttered protectively over my belly. We’d left our blades upstairs. Marin’s arm encircled me.
“Are you not glad to see us, Elizabeth?” Xade asked. “We are ever so glad to see you. We have a gift for the new mate and soon-to-be mother.” Without any preamble, all three of the E’mani shot me. “No more games or time to use your magic.”
Crampy pain radiated outward from my belly. I clutched my stomach in disbelief. It was over so damn quick.
Marin bellowed, “No,” and blurred to them, but they were on their hoverboards and zipped straight up. A blink and they were gone. So quick.
Huh.
Marin turned back and fell to his knees beside to me. I peered down expecting blood. Darts hung from the blanket. I pulled them out and dropped them. Cold spread from the wounds where they’d hit me. Pressurized darts. They’d dosed me with something. My back spasmed sharp and deep, pulling a scream from me. My stomach tensed like a drum. I smelled copper and sweat. A warm current dripped down my inner thigh. My gaze met Marin’s. No, this can’t be happening, not now.
“Zanth!” Marin shouted. He clutched me to his chest and carried me inside.
“Zanth,” he screamed again while he carted me up the stairs to my room, red from between my legs pooling in our wake.
Zanth skipped down the stairs and met us halfway. His smile died when he saw the blood on the ground. “What happened?”
“The E’mani, go, get the healers. They shot her with something, I do not know what, but she is bleeding. I…I think the baby is coming.” Marin replied. We’d reached the door. Zanth disappeared from view.
“It will be all right, Elizabeth,” Marin murmured against my neck. He deposited me on the bed and bundled up the covers to press them between my thighs.
But I knew it wouldn’t be all right. I saw the trail we’d left. There was too much blood. And it was too early. I was only seven and a half months along. My back shrieked in agony, my spine bowed. “Oh god.”
Marin pleaded, “Please, Elizabeth.”
The guards converged by the doorway to the room, responding to the shouts, but there was nothing left for them to do. They were too late. The E’mani couldn’t have picked a better time. We’d stopped to celebrate and let down our defenses. The guards had partied with the rest of us.
I couldn’t believe I let them get close. I was supposed to be ready. I knew they wouldn’t stop, but I’d let myself relax for a moment, and my baby was going to pay the price. I closed my eyes. I could see her. It hadn’t been a boy, I was so sure, but no. It was a girl.
Hope.
She was little, so very little. Her arms waved and I swear she smiled at me. She had dreamy blue eyes with round pupils. Her hair was black. Her skin, a pale dusk. Finn’s coloring but my features. It wasn’t real. I knew it wasn’t, but I wanted it so bad.
“I see her. Hope. She’s so beautiful, Marin,” I whispered the words and all movement in the room stopped.
Marin’s hands cradled my face as he leaned over me. “I am sure she is going to be the most beautiful girl in the world. Hold on now. The healers will be here any second, my love.” Water dripped onto my face. Marin was crying, or was that me?
I felt her dying inside me and I wanted to die alongside her.
Hope. Please, baby. I’d been weak, but not anymore.
Another gush from between my legs. Pressure in my bladder, in my bowels. My back twisted. I arched and the world was suffused with pretty sparkles. Marin’s face faded away.
I can’t believe I’d forgotten. It ran through my mind over and over.
The thought followed me into unconsciousness.
~ * ~
I sat up, a scream tore from me. A healer crouched between my legs, I forgot her name. She had her hands on me, in me. A second healer placed her palms on my tummy and chanted. It was so much like my nightmares another scream squeezed out.
“Stop,” I whimpered. Whatever they were doing hurt, so much.
“It will be all right, Beta,” one of the ladies whispered. Her hand brushed my forehead, fingers blessedly cool.
My belly tightened and my back bowed. No. God. It would not be right. Not now.
Marin’s arms circled me, his mouth against my hair. “Elizabeth. Please.”
Please what? What more did he want from me?
His face screwed up. The world went black again on a tide of agony. And I remembered.
Weeping in the background. My body felt heavy. I couldn’t get my eyes to open. My lips were dry. I forced my lashes up and saw a face peering down at me.
Pale skin and hair in a precise center part. White eyes, thin face. Xade. Oh god.
My gut shriveled inside me. No, oh no. Not again. Please.
“Good, you are up. Your recuperative times are getting worse not better as we expected. Have you been taking your supplements as directed, Elizabeth.”
I found myself responding automatically, “Of course. I do as you wish.”
His smile widened. ”Good girl, how do you feel?”
I took a moment to assess. I moved my head around. The room swayed around me then jolted into place. I wiggled my fingers and toes then stretched my low back. “I am functional.”
“Good.” He lifted his hand. A scalpel glinted in the low light. “Now for the liver samples.”
My eyes followed the path of the blade toward my abdomen.
I woke up flailing, screaming for my little girl. “Hope, Hope.”
Someone held my arms. A cool hand moved gently down my face. “Elizabeth.”
I turned away from that touch.
No.
No comforting would help me now.
A shaft of pain split my sides pulling me from sleep. My arms flexed outward, my hands bound. I glanced down at the table then up to white faces peering down at me.
“And she is back. Just a few more samples.”
I felt a tugging in my chest and a rush of liquid ran down my neck. Pressure and then a crack. Oh god.
I screamed, my back bowing. They tightened the straps, immobilizing me. I screamed and screamed until I coughed blood. My head sagged to the left. Red lights in the walls.
A blade of white-hot agony. Blood in my mouth. Ears ringing.
Marin’s face wavered. His mouth opened, but I was beyond words.
I’d let down my guard. Played house. Pretended the E’mani were gone. A cliché.
Gah.
It felt like a white hot poker slid down my back. My legs were numb, pulled back to my ears. I delivered the baby in a tide of crimson. My gasps were the only sounds in the room.
The first healer rubbed the baby with a blanket. I saw the top of her head, dark hair. Purple skin. Slack blue lips. Her head hung to the side. The healer wiped her mouth out and began to breathe for her. The second slapped her feet.
“Hope,” someone said. Maybe me.
Marin hugged me tight. More tears dripped onto my cheek. Mine this time? My eyes drifted up. His face. I reached up a hand to cradle his jaw, blood on my fingertips. Marin lowered his lashes and he kissed my palm.
We both turned to stare at the baby and prayed.
Nothing.
The healer puffed more air into her lungs. My baby’s arms remained motionless.
No sound. Why was there no sound?
Hope, please.
A slap on the bottom. The healer lifted her up and slid a warm blanket under her back. The bloody towel fell to the floor. So red.
“Hope.” Marin sobbed it this time.
No hope.
She never took a single breath.
Marin clutched me tighter. He glanced down to the bottom of the bed. “Why is Elizabeth still bleeding?”
Huh. I didn’t feel anything.
“Damn you, Elizabeth. Do not leave me. Do not let the E’mani win. Will you do that? Let them take our baby?” Marin’s nostrils flared and he got right up into my face.
No. No. Can’t have that.
Marin shouted, “Answer me.”
My words came out weak. “No.”
I can’t forget again. The E’mani would never let me rest. There was no safety until they were gone.
One of the healers hurried back. I felt her hand massage my tummy. Another hand inside me. Not again.
A scream tore from my mouth.
“She will survive,” Xade said. He cleaned his knives over at another table and glanced at me. Another copy tilted my head.
Red light.
I recoiled. “No.”
Xade grinned. “See. She will survive. It is not her nature to give up.”
Sunlight streamed through a crack in the curtain to blind me. I groaned and rolled onto my side, reluctant to wake up, my every joint aching.
My eyes drifted open. The bed was made and Marin slept facing me on the covers. I felt crusty and my lips, god. I swept my tongue out. Chapped. Dry.
“Marin,” I whispered.
His head popped up, his eyes red and swollen. His bruises had faded and there was no swelling along his jaw. “Elizabeth?”
And I knew. Hope was gone.
My eyes watered. I could feel my nose turn red. No, oh no.
Marin’s expression crumpled and he gathered me close. “I am so sorry, Elizabeth. She never woke up. Too much blood loss, they said. We nearly lost you too. But you survived. Thank the lands.” Marin’s stroked my cheek. “Then you got sick. You were so hot. We had to cover you in snow. The only thing that saved you was the medicines you made.”
A sob slipped out and another. Marin patted me on the back. When I was cried out, Marin grabbed a glass from nearby and held it to my lips.
“How long?” I whispered, my throat a little less raw.
“You have been sick for two weeks,” Marin murmured against my temple.
“The E’mani?”
Marin kissed the side of my head. “We have not seen them again.”
“Find them.”
“We will,” Marin said. “You need to recover.”
I nodded.
~ * ~
The next few days passed in little chunks of time. Marin remained at my side. He spoon fed me for days. Until my own filth and a full bladder forced me up. I glanced over to see Marin resting behind me. My heart twisted. He looked so peaceful lying there, his hand out, dark circles under his eyes. No need to wake him.
I turned and let my legs hang off the bed slowly, trying not to jostle him.
I closed my eyes and pulled power to me. It responded with a quick rush of heat deep in my core, stronger than it’d ever been. My legs strengthened. I tentatively staggered to a stand, knocking into the wall. Marin woke up in a rush and surged to my side. He braced me when I swayed.
“Elizabeth, are you all right?” Damn it. The concern in his voice nearly broke me. Tears threatened. It seemed like crying was my go-to response right now.
“No, I am not all right.” I leaned into his support. “I gotta pee,” I admitted. Marin helped me to the chamber pot and back. Then he tucked me back in bed and crawled in next to me, his hands bracketing my face.
Marin kissed me, his lips soft against mine. “I am so sorry, my love, so sorry. We should have been prepared. I am so glad you are safe, that you made it. For a while there I thought you would not survive. We can have another baby. It will be all right.”
I stiffened and just like that my own tears dried up. “I guess it is okay then, we can have another baby,” I repeated in a flat tone.
Marin looked puzzled then nodded as he pushed a lock of my hair behind my ears. “I am saying I am glad you are all right. I do not know what I would do without you. I am so damn sorry about the baby.” He pressed his lips to my forehead. “We will make them pay. I promise you.”
I grasped onto that thought like a drowning man searched for land. My hands gripped his shirt. “How? When?”
“Soon,” he said. And my eagerness faded. Soon. I’d heard that before, and now I didn’t believe him. He would do what he felt was necessary to keep me safe, even if it wasn’t what I wanted.
“Soon,” I echoed and rolled on my side away from him, pulling the pillow to my chest.
The lab was pristine, clean and white. The tiled floor sparkled. Translucent desks rose from the floor when we entered. They were organized in precise rows, computer monitors recessed into their surfaces. Chemicals filled the drawers. There were beakers and flasks littered on the surface. Multiple biologic augers were stacked next to the glassware. Along one wall a rendition of the human DNA lined half of one wall and next to it was the E’mani DNA.
Various sequences were highlighted on both, the same base pairs.
My job today was to refine the samples. Code the last branches of the current subject, who was rising out of the floor in front of me at the head of the room.
Subject 539421. He was strapped down to the table, naked. His arms and feet fastened to the marble. His white hair had thinned and fallen out in clumps. His skin so thin, with a faint orange cast, he resembled a pumpkin. I saw a pulse beating erratically at his neck. Multiple red splotches covered his belly. The subject moaned and yanked at the bonds holding him down.
“We need to fix the genie, gene, genes, don’t we now. No matter the cost,” he muttered sing-song. A laugh gurgled out thick and wet and dissolved into coughing. Blood flecked the table around him as I struggled not to flinch.
What was wrong with him? I’d never seen a sick E’mani before. There were all so healthy.
“Test subject 549321. Excellent, Elizabeth. We need his DNA. After you will sleep,” Xade said as he walked into the room.
I nodded and accepted the scalpel Xade handed me.
The E’mani screamed and screamed.