Nineteen
At midnight, we gathered in Finn’s kitchen. Finn wanted to leave a few hours after nightfall. That way people were less likely to see us depart and it gave us an eight hour head start on the day. Finn knew the route blindfolded so leaving after dark wouldn’t be that big of a risk. We would have torches to guide our way once we got far enough away from the city that they wouldn’t be detected.
To aid our escape, Ute requested a morning meeting with Marin, which should keep him occupied for a few hours. I’d left a note by the bed saying that I’d gone to Hana’s in case Marin searched for me. Lame, but it was all I could think of last minute to explain my absence. My heart twisted at the thought of leaving him. Marin would be mad once he figured it out, but he would understand. He loved me.
Our plan hinged on Marin finding out we’d left when other people were around. That way, by the time Marin gathered the supplies he would need to follow, Ute would have tied his hands politically. The rest of the clan leaders would brush off our leaving as suicide, and keep to the original idea like they had after my attack.
The gear was laid out on the table. Mine and Hana’s packs appeared noticeably lighter than the rest of the group’s. We were all here, huddled in various corners of the kitchen waiting for nightfall.
Tick-tock.
Hana sat next to me at the table while Zanth was on my other side. Jace, I noted with interest, had his hand on the back of Hana’s chair to her right with Giggy next to him. Baren, an earnest miner from Clan Stein, stood by the fire talking quietly to Ute. Finn, Near, and Edd huddled near the doorway.
Seeing the last three men together gave me pause. Near was the leader of Clan Barrell and Edd was the leader of Clan Tryst with Finn, that meant three of the nine clan leaders bucked Marin’s rule along with his mate. No wonder Finn never mentioned who was joining us. This wouldn’t go over well. My heart sank.
My belly churning, I addressed my words to Near and Edd. “Are you sure you two want to do this?”
Edd inclined his head at Hana. “I want to protect her,” he said simply.
Near shrugged. “Are you?”
Touché.
I twiddled with the leather strap on my bag.
When midnight came, Finn ushered us outside. The night was clear and dark as pitch. We were close enough to the lake that I heard the waves lapping against the shore. I took a deep breath and shook my hands out, glancing toward my home, where Marin now slept. He would forgive me. He had to.
We started off single file down the path toward the exit. Finn led the way with me behind him and Zanth behind me. We tried to stay as quiet as possible.
Zanth’s hand landed on my shoulder making me jump.
“What?” I squeaked.
“Hold on so we do not lose anyone in the dark. Grab hold of Finn.”
I nodded, not that he could see, and grabbed onto Finn’s belt. “Traveling this way will slow us down.”
Zanth whispered back. “This is only for tonight. The rest of our trip we will walk during the day.”
When we were about fifty feet from the gate, Finn held his arm out to the side, forcing the group to a halt. We huddled in the bushes on the side of the path.
Finn motioned Ute forward. “There are two guards. Distract the one patrolling and we will sneak past the other, it looks like he is just sitting in the gate house.”
“How can you tell?” Ute squinted at the entrance.
Finn grinned, his teeth gleaming in the darkness. “I have good eyes.”
“Well what do I say?” Ute adjusted his shirt and puffed out his chest.
“I do not know. Make something up. Go.” Finn nudged Ute toward the entrance.
Ute dragged Finn into a hug, his gaze drifting over the rest of the group. “Be safe all of you. I will see you in a few weeks.”
Ute hurried down the path toward the guard. “Hello, could you help an old man out?” He moved to the right of the path so the guard faced him with his back to us.
“Sure, what did you need, Ute?” the guard replied.
Ute gestured back toward town. “Well, you see, I heard this noise. I was afraid it might be a coreck.”
“A coreck? Let me get Theo, we will go look,” the guard said.
Ute gripped the guard’s arm. “No, no, we do not want to leave the entrance unprotected. Come with me and we can check it out.”
“Uh, well, if you are sure.” The guard squared his shoulders and walked toward section two with Ute.
I held my breath when he walked past, my nose tickling. Please, please don’t let me sneeze. Their footsteps faded and my shoulders drooped. Phew.
Finn put his finger over his lips for silence and we started forward again. I grabbed onto his belt, feeling Zanth do the same with mine. When we neared the gate, Finn gestured for us to hunch and crawl under the window of the gatehouse.
As I inched past, a branch cracked close by. I froze, tugging on Finn’s pants. Finn’s hand grabbed mine while Zanth slammed into my back. Zanth reached out and steadied me. Hana squeaked in the darkness and got shushed by Baren.
A chair clattered in the room above our heads. Steps drew close to the gatehouse window. Oh god. Don’t see us, Don’t see us.
Everyone stood stock still, waiting to be busted..
A full minute passed before I dared to peek up. The guard’s hands were on the windowsill. Crap. Another minute and his fingers pulled back, his steps fading
Finn tugged me forward and we continued out of town.
Once we were out of sight of the arch, my breath whooshed out. “That was close.”
Finn squeezed my hand. Zanth grunted. In the darkness, I couldn’t see anything but Finn’s back while we traveled. The night amplified every noise, making me skittish. As soon as we got past the mines, which took two hours instead of the normal twenty minutes due to the darkness and hand holding, Finn declared it safe to light torches.
The extra illumination let us move faster. The last time I’d been past the mines was the day of the funeral where we mourned the dead killed by the E’mani in their hunt for me. The night I remembered their secret, the Imani were clones. It had been dark then too. Deja’vu had me shivering.
There were still mounds of massive dark brown rocks piled in huge heaps. The path between them was barely more than scratches in the dirt. A few spiky barren trees added to the creep factor.
Finn led us along a straight path through the boulders for the next several hours, although we got to take a potty break every hour or so. We needed to get as much distances as possible before Marin discovered our deception.
When dawn hit, I turned and stared back the way we’d come. Marin would be getting up round about now, his fierce eyes opening, his hands reaching out for me. My skin tingled at the remembered brush of his fingers against my skin, the spark that flared between us, the passion of his touch. I missed him already, a deep, hollow ache in my chest. I had to fight the urge to turn around and find him again to fill that hole
With a sigh, I pushed back a strand of hair that had drifted across my face and faced the scant trail ahead. But my feet wouldn’t move. The wind pushed me back. Marin or my conscience?
“Elizabeth? Where are you? I feel like cuddling.” Marin’s voice whispered both in my heart and in my head.
The feel of the wind in my hair, his voice in my ear, made me shudder. And he wanted to snuggle. Damn him. Damn me. He was going to be so mad. He couldn’t know we were gone yet, he sounded way to mellow for that. Ute would be disturbing him right around now.
“I’m with Hana. See you soon,” I replied in the same way with the wind.
“All right, my love.”
My eyes closed at the endearment. Oh god. I forced myself to start walking. No one else seemed bothered by the breeze.
Around lunchtime, Marin had definitely caught on to our deception.
“Elizabeth. Where are you? We seem to be missing a group of people.” Marin’s voice thundered in my head forcing me to a halt.
Hana ran into me from behind when I stumbled. I rolled my eyes and motioned to my head. “Marin.”
“Ah,” she mouthed.
Hana waved to Finn, who called a break. The group scattered. I wandered off to stand at the side of the path, near a thorny tree, being careful of the sap, and answered him using the wind. “You know where I am. I can tell from your voice. I left for Industry.”
“We were going to go together. You promised me.” The accusation in his voice nearly broke me.
“I never promised. I very specifically did not promise for that reason. I needed to go, and the Fost would not move. You are the Clan Chief, you couldn’t leave without them. I asked so many times. Always it was soon, a month or two, we are not ready. That is not good enough. I needed to go. Don’t worry, I have Zanth with me. We will be fine. I will see you soon on the other side of the mountains.”
“Is Finn leading you? Is this your choice then? Finn over me?”
I thumped my head against the tree. “Don’t be stupid,” I thought to Marin. “This has nothing to do with Finn. This has to do with me needing answers. We are married. That is forever, you dumbass. My choice was not to wait any longer. There is this urgency riding me, telling me it is important I figure things out soon. I told you.”
Marin’s voice lost some of its smooth echo. “Turn around now and we will go together. I will not be mad. I had gotten them to agree to another month or two at most, and not summer.”
“Marin, that is too late. Don’t you understand? I told you I have to go. You said you couldn’t. The dreams, they are getting worse. We have been gathering supplies. We will be safe.”
“Who is there with you? Who goes against me?” Really.
I groaned at the emo. “Stop being dramatic. No one is rising against you. We are just on an exploratory expedition.”
“I am coming to get you.”
I hated that flat tone of his. As if his word was law, it made my skin itch. “Don’t be crazy. You can travel fast, that is true, but only to places where you know every rock, every turn, and even then it can be tricky. That is why you take the back ways, less chance of running into things. You have to get the maps, and you would have to travel normally, or end up lost. Please stay safe. Stick to the plan and join us in Industry when the rest of the Fost agree to travel.”
“I would do anything for you, Elizabeth, you know that? I love you. Together we can do anything. But you do this, and you are leaving me behind. I am less important to you than your revenge. I cannot accept that. I will not accept being second or third. I will not accept anyplace but first in your heart, not like my mother did.”
“I am not your mother. This situation is nothing like that. I love you. I will always love you. But I need to do this. This is important for all of us. This is not just about my revenge.” My hand slammed against the bark.
Marin snorted and the sound was a puff of air in my ears, making me shiver. “Keep telling yourself that. I hope it makes you happy that you threw away our mating for hate.”
“The only way this changes our mating is if you let it, if you can’t accept my decision. My feelings are the same.”
“Mine are not. I am tired of pushing to get what I need from you. I will have to look for someone else to help me with that, will I not? You leave, this is over between us.”
My heart thumped once, hard. “I thought mating was for life?”
His voice grew silky. “The bond is. That does not mean we have to be together.”
Oh, you asshole. “So you can choose to not move for the good of the clan, but I chose to move for the good of the clan, and it is a whole ‘nother story, eh?”
No answer.
“Damn it, Marin. Talk to me. This isn’t fair…Marin.”
The wind died. He didn’t mean that, he couldn’t mean that. He knows what that would mean. I slid down to the ground and put my head on my knees.
Hana tugged at my arm. “You back with us?”
I rubbed my nose. “Yeah, Marin is not a happy camper.”
She nodded. “Yeah, we knew he would not be pleased.”
“He said our mating is over.”
Hana did a double-take. “What? He is angry. He will get over it. You two love each other, and mating is forever.”
“Doesn’t mean he has to be faithful, as we both know. And I’m not open like the rest of you. I couldn’t take that.” My voice broke. “I saw what it did to my mother when my dad cheated on her and left us. I can’t. I just can’t.”
Hana’s arm slipped around my shoulders and she rocked me as I cried. “That will not happen.”
My mind flashed to my vision and I sniffled. “Hana, is there any way to remove the bands?
Hana gasped and turned me to face her. “No. And Marin is not so stupid as to try, so you do not need to worry about that. They come off when you or your partner dies, and nobody is dying today.”
I nodded and rested against her. But my vision flashed before my eyes…Marin running, holding the hand of someone else, his arm bare. Did that mean I died? Was that the future or a possibility? Should I let him go, would that be the best for both of us? Maybe it was better to end it now. Playing house was not for me.
My heart heavy in my chest, I peered around for the others. Zanth stood nearby against another tree on the dusty path, his head was down. From the pained grimace on his face, he was talking to Marin, and it wasn’t going well. Hana huddled against me. The rest of the group all sat in the middle of the path sipping water. Finn stared at me as per usual.
We still hadn’t gotten out of the quarry yet and into the mountains proper. Should be soon. The air smelled fresher and less dusty. I scrubbed my hands along my face then slapped my cheeks. No more tears.
Zanth wandered over to me a few minutes later, face tight. “That was rough.”
I grunted. “Yeah, he’s really angry.”
Zanth chose his words with care. “Marin told me he regretted raising me, if this is how I repay loyalty.”
“Well, I can do one better. Marin told me we were over, and that he was looking for another woman.”
With a sigh, Zanth put his hand on my shoulder. “He does not mean any of it. You know that, right? Sometimes people say things when they are angry they do not mean.”
“Or they say exactly what they mean, but were too afraid to say before,” I said, my stomach sinking to my toes.
“My brother loves you, I know that. He will not go to another. He knows how you feel about that. We all know how you feel about that. It is unnatural.” Zanth shuddered at the thought of fidelity.
The corner of my lips tilted a tiny bit. “Your brother loves you too. If Marin cheats, I will gut him like a fish. Both of that is fact.”
The thought of Marin going to anyone else made my nostrils flare. My fingers curled. That felt much better than despair. I needed to focus on the anger to get through this. I could do this.
Zanth’s mouth curved up.
Hana rubbed a hand down my hair. “It will work out, Beta. Marin is angry.”
Anger, I expected. Not silence. Silence was my thing, and the threat. The rug had been jerked out from under me. The one thing I clung to was Marin’s stubbornness and love. In all the time I’d known him, he never wavered from a path. I was his, but not anymore I guess.
I rubbed the palm of my hand over my eyes. Damn it. No more crying. I’d cried more in the past few months than in the entire nineteen years before that. “Crying doesn’t make anything better, Beta.” Thank you for the pearl of wisdom, Zackary Camden.
Finn had planned on us traveling until nightfall, just in case. But since Marin appeared to be throwing mean messages at everyone in the group we stopped now. How far did Marin’s power reach, would he be griping at us the whole way? Did he miss me as much as I missed him?