Eight
Finn wandered over to sit next to me on the bed, close, but not touching this time. He placed his hands on his knees and jiggled them out and in. He shifted to examine me with a critical eye. After a minute or two, he spoke. “I miss seeing you.”
“I miss seeing you too... um, I miss my friend. Where have you been these past few months?” I leaned my head on his shoulder. His hand covered mine on the cot. Fire spread up my arm from his touch. With Marin it was sparks. With Finn it was fire. I shivered as the sensation warmed me, but kept my eyes straight ahead.
He nudged me. “You mean Marin did not tell you?”
“No, you’re not a popular subject at home.”
I swore I could feel him grin. “I went to examine routes for travel to Industry. Find the safest way for us to take back.”
I straightened up and stared at him. “No. Marin sent you to find routes?”
“Marin did not send me. I sent myself. We need to go back to Industry. We all need to go home. And I promised you we would.”
So Marin didn’t want him to go, but he left anyway. Oh, I bet that went over well. Not. No wonder I hadn’t seen him.
Finn stretched out his hand and trailed his finger down my nose. I blinked at the gesture. Damn it, no. I jerked away and Ute chose that moment to walk in. He stood at the door, shifting from one foot to the other. Poor dude seemed so uncomfortable today.
“So, tea?” he said.
I nodded.
Ute strode over to the fire and boiled a pot of water. A few minutes later, I had my tea. Finn remained at my side.
Now, how do I get rid of him? I wanted to take the test, but not with Finn there. Ute must have thought the same thing. We kept rolling our eyes at each other. It was making me dizzy. Finn had to have noticed, but he didn’t say jack. After another ten minutes of small talk, I took the initiative.
“Finn, would you go see if they have any of that mango fruit I like so much? Remember our walk to section one that time and you brought it for breakfast?” That sounded lame even to me.
Finn’s gaze jumped back and forth between us. “I remember that fruit. I thought you hated it? Did you not spit it out? Are you sure you want some now?”
Sheesh, he had a good memory, while mine was full of holes. “It’s an acquired taste. Would you mind getting me some?”
Finn’s eyebrows rose again. “You want some now? I thought food was what made you sick.”
“I feel much better now and would love to have some fruit. Maybe it will settle my stomach.”
Ute chimed in. “Get her the fruit, Finn.”
Finn straightened and ran his hands down his leathers taking his time, strolling to the door. He knew something was up, but he didn’t call me on it. He glanced back once at us when he neared the threshold then left without another word.
As soon as he was gone, I turned to Ute. “Where is it?”
He held out a glass with leaves at the bottom, looked like dandelion.
“So I just pee in the cup?”
He nodded his head and handed it to me.
Hmm. The glass shook in my hand. “Well now I’m too scared to pee. What if I’m pregnant?”
Ute remained silent and placed his hand on my shoulder.
Deep breath. “Okay, I’m going to try. I’m babbling anyway.”
“I am going to go outside while you, ah.... That way if there are any visitors, I can keep them occupied, and well, anyway…” Ute strode toward the door.
We exchanged glances. It would be a big deal if I was knocked up.
Ute exited. I drank some tea and tried to relax. Think about the ocean. It took a while—performance anxiety—but after a few moments, I peed enough to fill the bottom of the cup. I went to the door and let Ute back inside. We stared at the cup in my hand. This was not the most romantic moment in my life.
Within a few seconds, spots formed on the leaves. My stomach dropped to the floor and I sat down hard.
Oh, shit.
“Does that mean what I think it means?”
Ute put his hand on my shoulder again but this time it seemed like there was much more weight to it. “Yes. You are pregnant. Do you know who, or when?”
“Three to four months.”
Silence hung in the air.
“Whose is it?”
“Could be either, I’m not sure.” I put the cup down and tucked my hair behind my ear. Then I paced. “This is going to be a mess. Marin asked me to mate last night. I told him I needed time, but if I’m pregnant, he won’t wait. He also won’t let me travel to Industry.”
Ute’s eyebrows shot straight up. “He was planning to wait until spring or summer to travel anyway. With you being pregnant, you are right. He will not let you go, maybe after.”
“Maybe, but I need to go now. I need to see for myself. There are secrets out there. I feel them calling to me. The E’mani haven’t forgotten about us.” I reached the door and turned around. If I kept this up much longer, I would wear a tread in the floor. I stopped and drifted over to Ute.
“I know.” Ute side-hugged me and I rested against him. I needed to get those mating bands and bury them deep, or Marin would put on the male band and force the issue. My hand drifted down to rub across my belly, in wonder this time.
Life. New life. My baby. I loved it already. Boy or Girl. Mine. The E’mani would not hurt my child. I wouldn’t let them. But how could I stop them?
This interlude aside though, I still needed to get to the greenhouses. It was my shift.
Finn returned in time to see me bundling up to leave. He palmed the fruit and escorted me to my job. We walked in silence to our destination, the guards following close behind.
When we arrived at section three and neared the entrance to the greenhouse, Finn slowed. “What is going on, Beta? I know you and Ute well enough to know something is wrong.”
“Nothing,” I said nonchalantly.
He took my arm and swung me around to face him. “Tell me.”
“I can’t. Not yet anyways. I need to be sure.”
“Sure about what?”
“Sure about everything.”
“All right.” He nodded. “Here is what I know. You took a leaves test. You and Ute are not really good at sneaking. Are you pregnant, Beta?” His words were solemn and his gaze rooted me in place. I should have realized he was too agreeable.
“Are you pregnant, Beta?” he asked again, shaking my shoulders.
“What if I am?” My words came out defensive and I had no reason to be, damn it.
“Is it mine?”
“I don’t know.”
Finn smiled at that, a big happy grin. “It is mine, is it not?” He laughed, pulling me into a hug. “You are going to have my baby.” He swept me off my feet and spun me around.
I stumbled when he released me and shoved him away. “I don’t know. I never said the baby was yours. I don’t know when I got pregnant. I just found out. It’s most likely Marin’s.”
Please god, let it be Marin’s.
Finn ignored my words and tugged me closer. “You are having my baby. We can be together again. It is all I wanted. You are all I wanted. You are who I dream about at night. This was the only thing keeping us apart.” He breathed, his hands cradling my face.
“Finn, let me go.”
His head drifted closer. I turned my cheek and his lips grazed my chin. Fire spread in the wake of his touch and I exhaled.
No, damn it. Hormones that was all it was.
I shoved him away, getting free of his embrace. My heart pounded in my ears. He staggered backward, his hands out, reaching for me.
“That is not what was keeping us apart,” I said, my voice harsh. “Your lack of faith kept us apart, and it still keeps us apart.”
He dropped his hands to his sides. He focused on me, that thin rim of blue swirling in the depths of his eyes. “You are mine. I said it the first day I met you. You will bear my mark. You carry my baby.”
The ferocity of his emotions unsettled me where once it had driven me to him. I held my ground. “Damn it, Finn. This is my baby. Mine. I’m with Marin now and I’m happy. You won’t ruin this for me.” I shouted.
We faced each other outside the doors of the greenhouse, the reflected light a spotlight sparkling on the snow around us. Jace stood nearby, but didn’t interfere.
“I do not understand. You said that you cared about me. That fidelity was the sticking point. The only thing keeping us apart was that I did not want to be the last of my line. I hesitated. I am sorry for that. But we can be together now. Do you not see that?” Finn’s words were husky, his eyes soft.
“Finn, we were together one night. And you would have cheated on me with Lara and saw nothing wrong with that. That is what ended us. Not your desire for kids. I’m with Marin now and I’m happy,” I said. “This is my baby, mine and Marin’s.”
Finn’s jaw tensed, his mouth quivered. I would not feel guilty. He was the one who strayed, not me. We would have never lasted. He was too much of a bully, expecting me to do as he said without question. He reminded me of my dad. At least Marin negotiated and wheedled. I whirled and started back to section two. Forget this. I needed to see Marin.
Finn grabbed my shoulder and wrenched me into his arms. His mouth slammed down on mine. His lips were chapped. That little bit of roughness added texture to his kiss.
My mouth opened of its own volition and he took the opportunity to slide his tongue inside deepening the kiss. He tasted minty. I couldn’t taste mint anymore without my skin tightening in response.
When his head came up, our lips clung. My hands had gone around his shoulders. Either to push him away or pull him closer, I honestly didn’t know. My lips throbbed. My pulse beat in my ears.
Damn it, what am I doing?
Finn held me close, whispering in my ear. It took a second to register. “I lost you before. I will not lose you again.”
I stood on tiptoe and kissed his lips; soft as a whisper, then put my hands on his face. “It isn’t your choice. It is mine, and my choice is and always will be Marin.”
His eyes went flat. He opened his mouth to say who knows what, when Marin’s voice trickled over us, cold as ice. “What is this?”
I stiffened. Finn smirked at Marin and pulled me against his side. I elbowed him and turned to face Marin. Jace and Giggy stood a step behind him.
The air thickened, snow forming eddies around us. I could see my breath in the air. The light glistened off the flakes highlighting us further.
Jace explained. “They were talking. I, uh, heard a little bit so I had Giggy run to get you. Then he grabbed her. We did not know what to do.”
Finn draped his arm around my shoulder. Was he dense?
“Stop it,” I hissed. I shoved Finn away and threw myself into Marin’s arms. “Marin, this is not the time or place. We need to talk.”
Marin peered over at Finn, his eyes swirling with suspicion. Then his gaze ricocheted back to me. I’d never seen such a look from him. I stumbled back and Finn grabbed hold of my jacket and reeled me in. If I struggled this would get even worse so I stayed put.
Finn didn’t realize the danger he was in as he taunted Marin. “The baby is mine.”
Oh for fuck sake. I palmed my eyes. A sudden gust of wind nearly knocked me on my ass.
“Baby?” echoed Marin. His eyes flickered. Marin glanced over at me. His eyes weren’t as angry, the line between his eyes faded away.
“Way to go, asshole. I told you I just found out,” I whispered to Finn. With a twist, I dislodged Finn’s hand and ran to Marin, putting my hands on his shirt.
The guards stepped between us and Finn.
“I got sick on the way through section two. Finn saw me and took me to Ute’s. Ute had me do a leaves test. It was positive. We tried to hide it from Finn, but he figured it out.” My breath stuttered.
Marin was stiff against me looking straight ahead. As my words trailed off, his arms wound around me. “Baby?”
He stared at me in stunned silence, the man who was never at a loss for words. Look at that, I’d stumped him.
His fingers lifted my chin. He leaned his forehead against mine. “Baby?”
A smile slowly creased his face. His hands tugged me up against him despite the layers.
“Baby,” he shouted and crushed his lips to mine. Sparks danced as snow drifted in the current of air.
Finn screamed out, “My baby,” behind us, but neither of us acknowledged him.
I loved the feeling of Marin’s lips on mine. This was right.
Finn thought that fertility questions were the only thing keeping us apart. But there was so much more, love, passion, caring, tenderness. Marin didn’t care about anything but me. If we didn’t have kids, then he would be fine, because he still had me.
Marin held me tight and we began the trek home. Screw work, Marin was the boss after all. We needed to talk.
Finn shouted something behind me. I didn’t catch it and Marin didn’t care. Jace and Giggy held him back. It surprised me they hadn’t intervened earlier, but they heard my choice.
My choice was Marin.