Twelve
Somehow, I knew Finn would be there. But damn, he was going to get in so much trouble. The thought annoyed me. He was still my friend whether Marin liked the idea or not. Without Finn, I wouldn’t have survived the E’mani the first time.
I smoothed my hands down my shirt then slipped onto the bench next to him, staring at the snow on the ground.
“Mated?” Finn asked without glancing up from his study of his shoes. “You sure?”
“I am. He makes me happy.” I leaned my head on his shoulders, sighing. I watched a butterfly drift on the breeze looking for a flower in the little greenery that was starting to sprout.
Finn slipped his arm around me. He reached out and touched my belly. “That is all I wanted; for you to be happy. You challenged me and made me feel like I could be a better man,” he said, “but I find I am not a better man.” He turned to stare at me. “Reconsider.”
I shook my head. My hand covered his on my abdomen. “No, Marin is my choice. He didn’t care about anything but me, only me, even when it might have been better for him to distance himself.”
Finn lifted his hand and ran his thumb down my cheek. “You will be my biggest regret.”
“Still friends?” I held my breath waiting for his answer. It was important to me. Hell, he could be this baby’s father. And even though we ended badly, I could never hate this man in front of me.
Finn sighed. “As much as we can be now, Marin will not let us be close. And the temptation is always there for me.” He ran the back of his hand down my cheek. “I wish you happiness in your mating. I will not stand in your way. I know this is what you want, I just wish you wanted it with me.”
Long after Finn left, I remembered his eyes, those white eyes, so similar to the E’mani’s, but without the look— the lack of any true compassion or thought— that I associated with them. I knew Finn wasn’t like that, but his eyes still reminded me of the E’mani sometimes.
I stood and tromped deeper into the garden to the pond near the back. The E’mani had almost caught me back there once. They sent Lara to entice me deep into the maze. They’d planned on snatching me, but the appearance of a Coreck saved my life. That animal still bugged me, something about its eyes. I’d never seen it since. George was a miniature copy of it. It’s baby? Did the E’mani kill its parents?
The E’mani.
They were on my brain and I couldn’t get them out. Maybe it was the cold. Finally the snow receded as spring arrived. I didn’t know. There was one passage from a history that I’d read about the E’mani that stuck in my mind.
The E’mani don’t fathom the consequences of their actions on themselves or others and it will destroy them in the end.
The history went on to describe the meteoric rise of the E’mani. In the beginning, there were individual clans and races that grew bigger and bigger. There were clashes and wars, religious zealotry and persecution, financial ruin and domination. They had a spiritual, industrial, technological and biologic revolution that led them on the course they lead today.
I read the histories and wondered if Earth given another few centuries might have gone down the exact same route. Look at the difference from the early nineteen hundreds to the early two thousands. We learned to drive, to fly and to create marvels. We also created nuclear weapons capable of wiping out millions.
I couldn’t help wonder “what if?” What if reason didn’t win? What if we didn’t limit what someone could or couldn’t do in the name of land and country, in the name of God, in the name of science? Could we have become the E’mani, where the end justified the means, no matter the cost to themselves or to other races? I hoped not. It didn’t matter anymore anyways. The E’mani took our chance away, destroyed it in their quest for knowledge.
God damn them.
My steps slowed when I came in view of the water. A beautiful waterfall emptied into the back of the pond and that in turn led to the lake through an underground tunnel of some sort. It had its own current that provided fresh water to the house and valley.
Each lake was connected and there was a waterfall from the area above that led in a stream down to the lakes. I always thought the water should be cold but it was a lukewarm temperature, perfect for baths even in the midst of winter.
I stooped to put my hand on the rocks that lined the shore and pulled on the land.
Heat spread through me and into the water, steam started to rise. I stripped and stepped into the pool. With a happy sigh, I floated on my back and spread my arms. My worries melted away for a few seconds. I wished I knew what the future held.
A shock zapped me in the water and I stared up. A golden haze formed above me, the vision taking me.
The E’mani bunched around a variety of clear rocks. There was no chatter. They stood expressionless staring down at the displays. I saw a shudder run through the ground. One of the E’mani looked up and out. They were flying. I could see clouds all around and craggy mountains in the distance.
Next, I saw Hana. It was spring, but I couldn’t identify where she was. Tears coursed down her face as she knelt in mud and screamed.
Marin ran, holding the hand of another woman I didn’t recognize, his wrist noticeably bare. “Hurry,” he screamed. Both had imbued weapons out and various wounds decorated them, their breathing labored.
A coreck ran and jumped high to rip into the body of an E’mani, teeth digging deep.
Ute stood in a cave, tending wounded.
I saw Jace fighting, swinging his blade in a wide arc. At least five E’mani surrounded him. Nearby, Giggy fought, brandishing a mace in a circle. A snarl wreathed his face as his weapons connected with a pale, slight form.
Finn lay on the floor, bleeding from a large wound on his leg. His eyes. God. He looked like he was about to cry as he pushed me away. His lips formed the word. “Go.”
Edd crouched on the ground holding his belly, red coursing between his fingers.
Oh god.
Thera, Stein, Torrin, everyone I’d met here. It was so quick. They stood by the entrance to Groos back home, not with us. A lot of them. Everyone was armed. Thera’s hands, those magical measuring hands, held a sword straight in front of her, tip hanging low. Stein’s gaze was grave, his arm raised.
Nameless faces flooded my mind’s eye. Too fast to appreciate, glimpses of actions, expressions, pain.
Wings filled the air. Every color imaginable spread out in vast glory against the golden sky. A breathless pause then shrill screams and blood sprayed in a shower banishing the light. A single gray feather streaked in red floated down to the forest below.
Water filled my mouth.
I choked, kicking up from where I’d sunk below the water, and cleared my lungs. My breath wheezed out. The steam hissed around me in the air. The golden haze still hung above the water and dissipated as I watched.
Holy shit.
I swam to the side of the pool and waded out, falling to my knees. My heart ached. I ran my hand across my chest.
What the hell was that? I’d seen the haze before but that was of the past. This, this looked like the future. We were at war and we didn’t seem to be doing so hot. Who were some of those people? What was up with the wings?
I stood, grabbed my clothes, and bolted to my bedroom. I huddled in bed trying to recall the details and failing. Where was the baby? Why wasn’t I in the vision? And what the hell was Marin doing with someone else? The vision grew less sharp the more I tried to focus on it, like a picture when you pull it too close and it blurs before you. I had to stop before I went crazy. I should have written the vision down as soon as I reached my room. I shivered and my mind raced.
What the hell was that?
The front door slammed open. Marin. I raced downstairs in time to see him ducking into the library.
“Baby.” I threw myself into his arms.
He staggered under my weight. “What is wrong?” He ran his hands down my face. That touch. And his eyes, those eyes. I didn’t want to live without those eyes, without this man. “Are you all right? You are scaring me.”
My fear eased. My heart slowed and resumed its normal rhythm as I stared up at him. My hands cradled his face, thumbs tracing his cheeks. “I think I saw the future.”
“What? When?” He hauled me into the library and sat down, pulling me onto his lap.
“Just now in the pool.”
“What did you see?”
“War. Lots and lots of war.” And I saw you, I saw you without your mating band. The bands that didn’t come off once placed unless one of the couple died. Did that mean something was going to happen soon, did we not mate or did I die? Or was it a warning? Did I need to do something? How could I prevent this from happening? “It was awful.”
Marin turned me to face him, his fingers under my chin. “Look at me. I love you.”
“I love you too.” I really did. That was what scared me. What did this mean?
“Do you remember any details?”
I covered my face, shaking, desperate to recall the images. “No, it was glimpses of so many people and places. I couldn’t keep track. I saw you running, Hana screaming, fighting, blood, wings, I—”
Marin shook me. My eyes snapped open to meet his. “Stop. You are trembling. Settle down now, my love.” He hugged me, his hands caressing my arms. “Shush now.” His lips drifted across mine, once, twice.
I turned my head and grabbed his hair, claiming his mouth. His taste centered me. It felt right. Male, Marin, mine. What did this mean?
He picked me up and carried me to the desk. No small task now with the baby.
I ripped off his shirt.
Marin grinned. “So eager.”
“Yes.” I needed to feel all of him right now. I needed his heat, the sparks that rose when we touched. A chill enveloped me when I saw the haze. The chill I always got when the E’mani were near. The feeling was fading, but not the anxiety it inspired. I needed him and all that we were together. My hand slid down his chest to drift along his thigh. His shaft filled my hand. I palmed it, pulling a growl from him.
“I like when you are eager,” he said.
I smiled. “I know.”
His hands lifted my dress. He tugged me to the edge and showed me just how much he loved me, quite desecrating the desk in the process.
~ ~ * ~
During dinner that evening, Marin relayed plans he had made thus far for our ceremony, but my mind kept wandering.
Why couldn’t I remember more of my vision? Almost every detail was gone but for the faces, the emotions I felt when I saw the haze. The fear remained an edge to my happiness.
“And that is when we release the kraken.”
My head swiveled. “Wait, what? You have krakens here? That is so cool.”
“And she is back with us,” he said. “You have not heard a word I said, have you?”
“Krakens.”
He grinned and poked my forehead. “Stop thinking, I know you. You overthink. Forget the vision for now and think about the ceremony. That should make you panic in a whole new way.”
I growled and bit his shoulder, yanking him close. “Let’s go to bed. I want to show you what I am thinking about right now.”
“It better not be krakens.” He leered, following me up the stairs.
“Do you really have krakens here?”
Thirteen
The next two weeks passed in a rush of preparation...for Marin. For me they dragged. I couldn’t get the vision out of my head. Despite this, the day of the mating arrived without incident. No more haze, no more chill, yet I remained on guard. But it proved hard to stay there with Hana dragging me along in her effervescent rush to see me mated. She arrived at the ass-crack of dawn to start the preparations. We both took baths outside then ran inside to change.
I couldn’t believe I was getting married. My hand shook as I admired the dark blue tunic and matching trousers that reached my ankles. They were heavily embroidered with vines and roses evoking Marin’s jatua. The neckline was square and low showing off my new assets, courtesy of the child growing inside me. Hana’s outfit was a similar style.
This was really happening, wasn’t it?
Hana poured some sap into my hair, smoothed out the frizz, so that it fell in a smooth curtain of titian waves around my face. “It will be fine, you know.”
I shook out my hands and ran them down my sides. “I’m just nervous. How can I know if this is right? The vision—”
Hana grabbed my chin. “Forget the vision. You do not know if that was the past, the future, or a warning of what will happen if you do not mate. None of us know what the magic means or how to interpret it. I say enjoy this moment.”
Tears swam in my eyes. No matter what she said, I couldn’t stop remembering the haze from the pond, seeing Marin running without his matching band. If we mated today, the band wasn’t coming off unless I died or he did, or something happened now to prevent us from mating. Or maybe it was like Hana said, maybe it was nothing. Maybe that would happen if we didn’t mate. I took a deep breath in. I could do this. This was meant to be. My hands curled into fists, but I forced a smile.
“Now,” Hana said as she brushed crushed berries on my lips and darkened my eyelashes with kohl. She pinched my cheeks. “Now, you are ready.”
I was even more nauseous than in my first trimester. Probably all the flowers from downstairs. God. My fingers brushed my belly then I gripped Hana’s hand tight. We walked out of the bedroom together.
Marin waited outside my door. His brows were drawn, but as soon as he saw me a smile broke across his face. Damn. Why was I so nervous? I loved him so much. The sight of him set my heart at ease. I jumped into his arms.
He held me close, kissing me softly. Marin murmured in appreciation. His tongue swept out, licking my lower lip. “Nice.”
“Hey you. Stop kissing her fruit off.” Hana yanked me away from Marin.
That made me feel a bit like strawberry shortcake. Thank you berry much.
Hana smeared more goop onto my lips, fussing. “I am so happy for you,” she whispered, but her face was downcast.
“Soon this will be you,” I replied. Marin’s arms encircled me from behind.
Hana snorted. “No.”
“Yes.”
She shrugged before all three of us walked downstairs.
The foyer was transformed. The portraits that normally lined the hallway were gone and black drapes covered the walls, darkening the area so that the candles glimmered against the inky background. Tall vases filled with peach flowers lined the way.
We peeked into each of the meeting rooms. In one, a huge buffet was set up with everything food imaginable including gurda. The library shelves were covered with drapes as well, and flowers coated most every surface. Hence the heavy perfume in the air. Small round tables had been spread out in intimate circles in all the areas. The upstairs was blocked off so little ones couldn’t run and hide.
I can’t believe I’m getting married. My stomach lurched. I could do this.
The morning passed in a blur. Marin was nearby, but the morning represented our meeting. Thus we had to greet everyone apart. I talked to so many people my jaw hurt. Hana remained by my side throughout reminding me of names when I needed it, and getting my attention when it wandered.
Lunch couldn’t arrive soon enough. I didn’t eat breakfast, I was so nervous, but I scarfed down lunch, then Hana took me to change. The afternoon outfit was a long maxi dress in a sage green color that made me look tan, which was quite a feat given my pale complexion. The empire waist style also did a great job of hiding the baby bump.
After I changed, we exited the room, and again, Marin was waiting. He had on a matching shirt and carried flowers for me, the peach rose.
I was so lucky. My heart fluttered. I teared up a little, I admit it. It almost felt like prom, except I never got to go to my prom and this wasn’t just a dance. I was getting hitched. How did flowers make this more real? I sucked in a deep breath.
Marin’s hands cradled my face. “Are you all right?”
At his soft words, more tears threatened, but I swallowed them back. I nodded. “Yes, I…I’m fine—”
Marin pressed me against the wall and kissed me. His mouth opened on mine insistently until I let him in. His taste flooded me. Male, Marin, mine. Our lips clung and all my fear faded. Sparks raced underneath my skin and the heat of his body warmed me.
He broke the kiss and whispered in a growly voice, “I hate when you ‘fine’ me.”
“Fine then.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.” A smile wreathed my face.
Marin’s lips curved up in response.
Hana put her hands on her hips. “Lands sake, Marin, do you mind?”
“Not at all, Hana, thanks.” he said with false cheer. His eyes remained locked on mine.
She snarled and stomped down the steps.
“So.…” he said.
I leaned my forehead against his. “Yeah.”
“Are you ready?”
“Yes, just…”
He froze against me. “Just what?”
“It’s …” I went on my tip toes to brush my lips along his. “We are getting married.”
His eyes searched mine a second, then he relaxed and his hand stroked down the side of my face. “Forever.”
Butterflies took up residence in my stomach. I could do this. This time Marin and I went down together. Marin kept hold of my hand for the next hour or so. Then a gong rang, an honest- to-god gong.
Marin turned his head and planted a quick smooch on me before running outside. I wandered behind him into the front yard. Hana ushered me to some tables near an outdoor fire pit next to the competition area. Stone rings were placed in the remaining snow that still dotted the fields, sand placed to even the surface. I saw some birds. Again, it jolted me to realize how different they were, with leathery wings and long sharp beaks. For a second the sky darkened then the suns peeked through the clouds. Motes of light glistened in the air adding to the revelry.
The men were to compete in four competitions, running, wrestling, spear throwing and hand-to-hand combat. They’d stripped off their shirts and were stretching before the first event, the run. I knew no one could beat Marin on foot, but I didn’t know how he compared to others with hand-to-hand, specifically against Finn, who warmed up nearby.
Of course, the run went by without a hitch. Marin blew everyone away to shouts and whistles. He preened as he walked by, winking at me, Finn close behind him. Finn offered up his own wink. My lips twitched. Finn was asking for trouble. Thank god Marin didn’t see that.
The next event was wrestling. For this Hana and I had to move to watch from the sidelines. They did several heats for the men. There must have been much alcohol and goods exchanged because Marin and Finn pretty much ruled the bouts until it came down to the two of them.
Marin stood outside the circle and watched Finn. Finn blew him a kiss then stretched his triceps. Zanth whispered into Marin’s ear. The testosterone wafted over to me. A tumbleweed just needed to roll past and we were all set. The baby kicked, most likely in reaction to the tension in the air. I rubbed my belly, murmuring to him.
A second gong announced the fight. Finn walked into the ring first. Marin entered a step behind. A beat and Finn was on him. Finn pivoted and grabbed Marin. He positioned his leg behind Marin’s and pulled. Marin fell backward over the proffered appendage. HIs head hit the ground with a thunk.
I cringed at the noise.
Hana whistled. “This is bad.”
I couldn’t agree more.
The hit fazed Marin enough that Finn managed to cover him. Marin jerked hard underneath Finn’s body, but not fast enough. One, two, three. Finn got a quick pin and victory.
The revelers were silent. Finn stood up with a fake smile and offered Marin his hand.
Hana leaned closer to me and whispered, “What Finn just did is considered bad luck. He has disgraced himself because he did not let the mated man win, which is customary.”
I got that from the glares and the whispers. Oh Finn. My heart ached for him. I should be upset, but I couldn’t scrounge up anger on this beautiful day.
Marin shrugged off Finn’s help and stomped to the area for the spear throwing contest. Again, Marin won easily enough, but the atmosphere was tense. Finn didn’t compete in the spear throwing. He waited at the hand-to-hand combat ring.
The heats proceeded exactly like before. Marin and Finn would face each other once again. They’d use blunted blades.
“I hope Finn gets a hold of himself,” Hana whispered.
“Why? They are using blunted blades. It should be fine, right?”
Hana cleared her throat and played with the hem on her tunic. “Well yes, but it is not unheard of for there to be blood spilled. All in the name of sport. Usually the opponents let the mated man win, but we know Finn is not going to do that. This could be bad.”
Well, wasn’t that lovely. I couldn’t see Finn holding his punches and Marin’s pride wouldn’t let him. Great. Whose brilliant idea was it to have the competitions before the ceremony anyway? A to-the-victor-goes-the-spoils type thing? Freaking retarded, damn it.
Hana and I tried to catch Finn’s eyes but since the wink, he hadn’t spoken or interacted with anyone including Ute, who hovered nearby chatting at him.
I concentrated and thought. “Finn.” But of course, he ignored me.
Marin and Finn faced each other for the second time. As tension mounted, they eye raped each other in a silent war of wills until the gong sounded. Time for combat. And now the theme song to Mortal Combat ran through my head. Bad time for an earworm. Please, please, please let Marin win.
Both men stepped into the circle. Marin entered, much more wary this time. Finn danced around Marin taunting him. Marin for his part observed his movements unamused. Neither pulled out their blades. Maybe this wouldn’t get bloody. My stomach clenched. Who was I kidding?
Finn feigned a hit to Marin’s right. Marin blocked then attempted an uppercut. Finn twisted away from the move and elbowed him, catching Marin full in the face.
My hands flew my mouth. Marin’s nose broke with a sickening crunch. The crowd gasped. Finn, you asshole. Hana grabbed my shoulder and squeezed tight.
Finn grinned. “That hurt?”
Marin growled and straightened his nose throwing the blood on the snow nearby. His eyes watered. He crouched watching Finn circle. Finn feigned to the left this time. Marin moved into the motion, using his magic. Marin peppered Finn’s right with punches. One hit Finn’s kidneys causing him to fall to his knees with a grunt then roll out of danger.
Marin stilled and tipped his head, “Did that hurt?”
Finn’s jaw tensed. A tic started at the corner of his left eye.
A few people murmured and twitched. They all knew that this was not a typical competition, but something much more serious, much more damaging. I was on the edge of my seat before I knew it. A death match on my wedding day, hurrah. God, I hated seeing Marin beat up. Damn Finn anyway.
My shoulders tensed. Please don’t let Marin be hurt anymore.
Finn and Marin exchanged jabs, testing each other’s reflexes. Jab, feint, uppercut. The scores were even when Finn stumbled. Marin moved to take advantage with an upper cut, knocking Finn’s head back with a thud.
Finn staggered and brandished his blade. “Do you really want to play?”
The murmurs stopped.
Holy shit.
Adrenaline pumping, I stood. I’d kill Finn myself. “What the hell is Finn doing?”
Hana grabbed my shoulders and yanked my pregnant ass back down. “You cannot interfere, that will only make it worse.”
Members of the crowd gasped as Marin pulled his own knife. He held it out in front of him sideways and made a show of throwing it into the dirt next to Finn’s feet. “I thought we already were playing?”
A tick later, Finn did the same.
My heart slowed down a bit now that they’d disarmed. I hadn’t realized it, but I bit my lip so hard, the taste of copper filled my mouth. And the flowers left a residual smell in the air along with the sweat and stench of general male pissiness. It was enough to make anyone feel queasy.
Marin and Finn resumed their fight. They rained blow upon blow on each other. Finn was bigger, but Marin was faster and more precise with his hits. Another kidney hit. A shot to the knees. A strike to the neck. Finn weaved across the ring. He wouldn’t give up though. It wasn’t in him.
“Finn, please.” Marin twisted and slipped behind Finn. Finn’s gaze met mine for the briefest of seconds. Finn knew Marin was behind him and he didn’t move. Marin’s punch hit his ribs. I could hear them pop. Marin followed it with a second and a third. Oh god, my hands covered my mouth.
Finn went to his knees with a gasp, before he rolled over onto his back in the mud, hands up. “Good fight,” he wheezed. “I yield.”
Marin quivered as he stared down at him, teeth clenched. Ute rushed over. “The winner, Marin.”
The crowd exploded in applause. Finn glanced over at me with a smile and tipped his head. I flipped him the bird then rushed to see Marin. Wow, did Marin look like shit. Zanth was applying snow to his face and cleaning up the blood when I got to him.
Marin glared at me. “I hate Finn.”
“I know.” I traced the cut on his eyebrow, my touch gentle. “You did well though, very sexy.”
He grinned. “I kicked his ass.” How about that, he was using my terms.
“Yeah, you did.” I gingerly kissed him, my lips soft. I leaned close and gathered my magic. I could heal, but Marin could not. I pulled, feeling heat spread from my gut and into my palms. With a deep breath in, I pushed the power toward him, but it kept receding from my touch.
At least, the cold snow brought down the swelling around his nose. He now looked less like he’d gone a round with Mike Tyson and more like he’d been mugged. I ran my hand down his bruised face as he reciprocated.
“I would do anything for you,” he said.
“Poor baby. I’m going to have to do all the work tonight,” I whispered.
Marin’s expression perked up at that. “How do you mean?”
“You’ll see.”
Happy shouts rang out around us. Hana ran up and screamed. “Ceremony time.”