Harper

 

It was one of those deceptively brilliant winter days in Reckless Falls. Where the sun shines brightly in the clear blue sky, but the air is so cold it takes your breath away. I woke up late in my parents' guest bed after the deepest, most restful sleep I'd had in months, possibly years, feeling pretty warmly nostalgic about spending the holidays at home with my family after missing it for so many years. I splashed some water on my face and hurried downstairs in my sloppy pajamas to be with them.

Only to realize that no matter how many years have passed, you'll always be the same in your family's eyes.

After we exchanged our presents, we gravitated naturally towards the gourmet kitchen of my parents' brand new showplace of a house. To eat, but mostly to drink and give each other giant, festive amounts of shit.

"And remember how she got stuck?" my mother laughed, already on her third cup of viciously boozy eggnog in spite of it being not quite noon. Her eyes were shining so happily that I cringed and let her tell the same story she always told about Christmas and my quest to prove that Santa was real. "I come downstairs to see these two little green legs dangling in the fireplace..."

"I thought she was wearing a nightgown," my brother Everett interjected, elbowing me. "I distinctly remember it getting stuck over her head while we pulled her out."

"Shut it, Judas!" I hissed.

But my mother was laughing even harder. "Oh you're right, because this wasn't the first time this happened! I mixed them up!" She dissolved into a hail of giggles.

"Yeah, yeah," I sighed, swishing my nog around in my glass. "Don't you have a party to get ready for Mom?"

My mother snapped to attention and clapped her hands. "We all do! Christ in a sidecar, where did the time go!" She looked me up and down. "Do you need to borrow something to wear, Harper?"

"No mother." I held up my hands to ward her off. "I have a party dress in my garment bag, don't worry."

"Well go put it on!" she clapped her hands at Everett and me and we scattered like a flock of chickens. "Go, go, wait...Everett, did you make sure the boys were coming over? I need Cal's ladder for the last of the garlands." She didn't wait for an answer, but headed into the kitchen.

I froze in place at the mention of Callum, but thank God nobody saw me. "He knows, Ma!" Rett shouted down from the balcony.

"Well text him to be sure!"

"Ma! He knows!"

"I need a drink," I said to the air.

"Liquor cabinet is that way," my father spoke up. It was the first word he'd gotten in edgewise all morning.

I brushed a quick kiss across his stubbly cheek. "Thanks Pops," I whispered, aware of my mom's superhuman hearing. "Hang in there."

He lifted his beer to his lips. "Always do," he whispered back.

The new liquor cabinet had these pretty little LED lights in recessed tracks along the top. Combined with the fairy lights my mother had casually, yet artfully arranged over the mirrored surface of the shelves, the effect was quite striking. "It looks like a UFO," my brother declared, suddenly appearing at my side with his arms folded over his chest.

"It looks like Shangri-La," I corrected, rushing to it  "Where'd you come from?"

"Heard dad tell you where the booze was, this house carries sound really weird." He pointed up to the balcony. "Up there you can hear every whisper in the kitchen, but back in the family room it's like soundproofed." He turned back to the liquor cabinet. "Bourbon on the rocks," he ordered.

"Do I look like a cocktail waitress to you?"

"No, you look like my prodigal sister. Pour me a drink and I might think of forgiving you for leaving me alone in this town with these two nutcases."

I swallowed and deftly knocked out two very healthy pours of my Dad's good stuff. "Has it been so bad?"

"Nah, I'm just messing with you. They leave me alone most of the time. They’ve just been running me ragged with this new house. Bit different, huh?"

"That's the understatement of the year." I looked around. "Weird to come home to place that's not actually home."

"Yeah well, shit changes."

"Thanks for the philosophical wisdom, Socrates."

"Who?" He winked at me. "Don't get too drunk that you forget your outfit. If you're wearing sweats when the guests arrive Ma'll kill you herself."

"Ugh, can't I just hide in my room like when we were teenagers?"

"Don't do that until Cal and Gray show up. I need the moral support."

Cal and Gray. My heart started thudding so loudly in my chest that I swore that Rett must have heard it. If he knew how I felt about his friends, what would he do? He'd be completely disgusted. He'd never actually given me shit about who I dated, telling me it was none of his business, but I had a feeling he'd make this his business.

I muttered something non-committal and hurried to the guest room. Humming softly to myself, I started to lay out my collection of powders and brushes, when I froze.

What would Cal think if he saw me with my usual war paint on? Would Gray still like me if I was rocking my usual dramatic cat eye?

I stood there, fretting, until I decided to do what I usually did for talks. A very subtle shimmer on the lids and a soft sweep of coral powder on the cheeks.

When I looked at myself in the mirror, I looked like me. Same old Harper. But I didn't want to look like same old Harper. I was back in Reckless Falls where my do-gooder reputation as a children's book author meant nothing. Maybe I could punch it up?

I rarely wore lipstick, since I could never seem to manage to keep it off of my teeth. Carefully, I swept the slick, ruby red gloss over my lips and pressed them together.

And smiled.

Perfect.

I kept my lips pressed together so as not to smear on my dress as I pulled it over my head.

And pulled.

And yanked.

"Shit," I yelped. I hopped up and down. The dress didn't budge.

"Shit!" I repeated. I tried to pull the dress back up again, but it got caught on my boobs and wouldn't budge in either direction.

"Help!" I cried, stepping sideways and smashing into a wall I swore wasn't there a second ago. "Mom!" I wailed, and then remembered what Rett had said about sound carrying oddly in this house. I bumped along the wall in what I hoped was the direction of the door and then yelled, "Help!" at the top of my lungs.

I waited again. Visions of Cal and Gray showing up while my dress was still stuck over my head sent me into a panic. For a second I thought I'd be trapped forever with this skirt over my head.

Then I heard footsteps on the stairs. "Mom!" I called, in abject relief. I would recognize that walk anywhere.

My mother turned the corner into the guest room and burst out laughing. "Oh dear, are you stuck?"

"Help!" I begged. My mouth was full of crinoline.

My mother tugged the zipper down maybe just a millimeter but that was all the ease I needed to slip the bodice the rest of the way down. "Oh thank God," I breathed in relief. "I was freaking out."

"I just had a flashback to the chimney," my mother giggled. "Only this time, instead of your trapped legs flailing around, it was your arms.

I sighed. "I'm doing nothing to dispel that memory, am I?"

"I will never forget that. My bold daughter, going out there to prove her beliefs. It was one of my proudest moments."

I looked at her, oddly touched. "Thanks, Ma." Emotions that I couldn't name welled up inside of me, a deep and profound nostalgia. I was home. I turned away before I randomly started to cry. "Zip me?" I asked her. "Since I clearly can't be trusted to dress myself?"

"Oh Harp, you look great!" My mother clapped her hands. "So Christmassy!'

I spread my hands over the red satin and smiled. It had been a triumph to get my mother to let me pick out my own dress since usually she insisted on the family being coordinated. Wearing something flattering had been a hard won fight.

"Thanks."

"But you need to wear this."

I took the elf-hat from her and regarded it balefully. "Really mom?"

"We're all wearing them."

"If I have to, you have to," Rett growled from the doorway. His elf hat was green with a little pompom at the end and it made me feel marginally better to see that he also looked ridiculous.

"I have some for Cal and Gray too," my mother fretted. "You think they'll wear them?"

"If you ask them," I soothed. "They'll do anything you say."

"Or, failing that," Rett said. "Have Harp ask them."

He said it as casually as can be but it didn't stop my cheeks from flaming.