Harper

 

I lay back on my parents’ guest bed and pulled the pillow over my eyes and just laid there, inhaling and exhaling for a second.

On the first inhale, all I could smell was the scent of winter forest and my own exertion.

But on the second inhale...there it was. Gray's smell. I wasn't sure what it was...it couldn't be cologne, or deodorant because he always smelled like it. It was unchanging. That warm, earthy undertone with just a hit of spice. It was faint, but it clung to my clothes, just from having been with him today.

I closed my eyes, the better to concentrate on it, inhaling great lungfuls before it dissipated. But when I closed my eyes, I saw Cal's face there, behind my eyelids, his light eyebrows raised in greeting, his blue eyes crinkling just at the corners. It had been hours, but I could still feel the heavy weight of his arm as it slung over my shoulder, resting there easily, but possessively. I'd loved how he'd so calmly laid claim to me, and I couldn't help but notice the way Gray had reacted.

I let out a sharp exhale and raised my hand to my shoulder, running my fingers along the line that I swore was still burned into my skin from Cal's touch. But when I inhaled again, Gray's scent filled my lungs, somehow even stronger than before, like he was laying silent claim to me and a moan of frustration escaped my lips when I realized once more that both of them laying claim to me was exactly what I wanted.

Rolling over to the side, I squeezed my thighs together against the sudden ache between them. I wanted both of them touching me, the way they had both touched me last night, my body sandwiched between them, but I wanted so much more than last night.

My eyes flew open. How much more? How far was I thinking of taking this, really? A crush on two guys at once was one thing, but actually wanting them both at the same time?

But the second I allowed myself to think that thought, the downward rush washed over me, settling into a heavy ache at the base of my spine. I could hear the blood pumping through my veins now, a mad rush of desire that drowned out everything except the sound of my quickened breathing as my hand slipped between my legs.

Both of them at the same time, what would that feel like? Hands all over my body, touching, squeezing, kneading. Two sets of lips kissing trails down my body, two mouths on my breasts, two of...everything. Would they be soft and gentle, taking slow deliberate care? Or would they tear my clothes off in a frenzy of desire? I knew what I wanted, as I let my finger slide inside of me. I wanted what I'd seen up at the top of the Falls. The two of them, unhinged, but instead of fighting over me, they were fucking me...

Sharing me...

The sudden wrench of my orgasm sent me gasping, my whole body arching upwards off the mattress like I'd been lifted by a string. My head thrashed from side to side and I buried my face into the pillow and screamed, and in my head I saw them, both of them, and I gripped the comforter in frustration.

Fuck.

Fucking...fuck.

I was wrong. I was greedy, I was selfish but more than anything I was a fucking idiot. I lay there on my side, gasping until my breathing slowed, and then gasping for a different reason as I felt my chest squeezing tighter.

How could I want this?

What the hell was wrong with me?

And worse, how could I want this from them? They were best friends. They were my friends.

It wasn't right.

It was so very, very wrong.

This should have been one of the best days my life. Spending the day enjoying the fun of my town with the people I grew up with. The Polar Bear Plunge, the hike up the Falls, those were the kinds of things I'd treasure when I left here.

But all day long had been suffused with this weirdness between Callum and Grayson.

Was it because of me?

I didn't want to believe it.

There had to be some other reason for the tension. They were friends, too close to nearly come to blows over a girl, especially not a girl like me. I was their friend's little sister, but they'd almost come to blows up there at the top of the falls, and Gray had completely humiliated Cal in front of his tour. What the hell was going on with the two of them?

It couldn't be me.

There had to be some other reason.

There was a soft knock on my door. I scrambled to sit upright, fixing my clothes while I tried to rearrange my face into less guilty-looking lines. I cleared my throat. "Come in."

"I brought you a towel, cause I didn't know if you knew where we kept them now," my mother said, coming into the room.

I sat up and grinned at her, hoping I looked innocent. "Are you implying I need to take a shower?" I teased.

My mother took a deep breath. "You went hiking today. I'm just saying you might want to...freshen up before dinner."

I rolled my eyes. "Point taken, Ma," I said, standing up and taking the towel from her. "I read you loud and clear." I needed a shower, all right. A cold one.

"You always were smart girl," my mother said, with a smile. She turned to leave.

"Hey Mom?" I called.

She stopped and turned around. "What's going on?" she asked.

I sat down in the bed. "That's exactly the question I wanted to ask you."

She laughed lightly. "Well you're going to have to be a little more specific than that, Harper," she said.

I sighed. "With Callum and Grayson. Got any idea what's going on with them?" There has to be something, I pleaded in my head. Something other than them fighting over me.

My mother shook her head slowly. "Going on? You mean something bad?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, there's just some sort of, I don't know, weirdness there."

My mother leaned against the wall. "No, I can't think of anything," she said shaking her head. "But I mean, they are living together. Grayson's been staying at Callum's house ever since he lost his job. So maybe there's some tension there." She started to smile. "Maybe Grayson's a little bit too messy for Callum's liking?"

Of course. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and chuckled. "I can see that," I said. I thought once again about what a good friend Cal was being, inviting Grayson into his house like that. There weren't too many friends that would do that for each other. "You know how Grayson is, one step up above feral."

"Well, I guess it's tough to learn basic housekeeping skills when your father is Pierce Abbott," my mother said hastily.

I nodded. "Yeah, I guess you can excuse it... A little bit." I thought for a second. "What with his father being..."

"An alcoholic piece of shit?" my mother supplied.

I looked up sharply to hear her swear. "Well, yeah, exactly that. I just didn't expect you to put it that way."

My mother crossed her arms. "There's no other way to put it. When I think of that little boy, shivering in that jacket, the way he didn't even notice that his son wasn't properly dressed for the winter, and it was so cold that January."

I nodded at the familiar story. Grayson has shown up at our door one afternoon after school with a gigantic tear in his only winter jacket. My mother had immediately pulled out the needle and thread and then convinced him to take home a few of Everett's. And ever since then, Grayson had been the most loyal friend anyone in our family could ask for.

Callum too.

"Those boys, they're both diamonds in the rough," my mother said fondly.

I nodded as well, trying not to let on how much I agreed. "I guess I'll take that shower now, so as not to ruin your dinner," I teased my mother.

"Good," my mother said, sniffing and then wrinkling her nose and waving her hand in front of her face.

I laughed and grabbed the towel again as she headed out the door. I pulled my phone from my pocket, and threw it onto the bed and started to pull my sweatshirt over my head.

Just then, my text alert went off. I leaned forward curiously, then sighed to see a chirpy little text from Cecily asking how the trip was going.

"It's going well," I shot back quickly, then resumed pulling my shirt over my head. I'm just masturbating to the idea of getting fucked by my brother's two best friends simultaneously. You know, normal Christmas-y stuff.

When I'd emerged, it was to see that she did responded with an almost frightening quickness. "I'm looking forward to you coming back," she wrote.

I wrinkled my brow and shook my head slightly, then picked my phone back up. "I'm looking forward to that too," I wrote back, choosing not to ask what exactly it was she was looking forward to.

But as I set my phone back down again, I thought once more about Cal and Gray. Maybe I wasn't lying when I said I was looking forward to coming back to work, and Cecily and my killer schedule, and the upcoming negotiations with the Children's Television Network.

I needed to leave. Sooner, rather than later.

Before I did anything I regretted.