CHAPTER NINETEEN
Bee
brain was buzzing, like a live wire. Disbelief and confusion swirled around,
But above all that, there was excitement.
Jackson kissed differently from Finn. He was slower, more deliberate, like he wanted to take his time to taste me, while I had been certain Finn wanted to devour me whole. Jackson's fuller lips nibbled along my jawline to whisper against my ear before seeking my mouth again. Slow and sensuous while Finn's kiss had been hard and unyielding.
My eyes flew open as I suddenly realized what I was doing. Kissing one guy, then another? Comparing them?
What the hell was I doing?
Who was I?
Startled, I pulled back, feeling weak. Jackson watched me with careful eyes as I grabbed the wine bottle and swallowed deeply. He pressed his lips together, licking them once, and then looked troubled as he reached for the bottle to take a swig too. We both looked down at the table.
"I finally found the glasses," came a voice from beside us.
We both looked up, and I blushed to see that Finn was standing there. Had he seen? Did he think I was some kind of slut for kissing Jackson? When I had been kissing him only a moment ago?
What the hell had gotten into me?
Jackson nodded at Finn's words, and then held out the bottle of wine. "We figured out a workaround," he said, shrugging. Finn looked at it, and then grabbed it and upended it down his throat.
There was a beat of silence, electricity crackling through the air. I stared at them both and my breath quickened a little. Did they get sexier every single time I looked? Jackson with his dark halo of hair, olive skin, white teeth, beautiful smile. Finn with his golden glow, floppy hair, easy dimpled smile, snapping blue eyes. It was like they were a set. One light and one dark, a matched pair, perfectly composed like one of Jackson's dishes. Two extremes, and me caught in the middle wanting them both.
Kissing them both.
"What are we doing?" I breathed.
And then I suddenly realized I had said that aloud.
After a long moment, Jackson was the first speak. "You want to be with him," he said, nodding toward Finn. "Don't you? I see how you look at him."
I swallowed. What else was there to do but tell the truth? But I couldn't seem to make the words come, and instead I only nodded mutely.
Jackson nodded, his lip curling into something that wasn't a smile, but it wasn't snarl either. He took a quick swig from the wine bottle and then looked at me with through narrowed eyes. "Then kiss him," he said.
I gasped and swallowed hard. "You're asking me to kiss him... in front of you?
His voice was hoarse, thick. "Show me how much you want him," he said.
I looked at Finn, frightened, but excited too. He was standing there with his hands in his pockets and I ached with how badly I wanted him to touch me.
"You guys are best friends..." I started to say.
"We're a team," Finn interrupted.
Jackson's lip curled upward into a smile I didn't quite understand. "We don't compete when it comes to women...,” he said slowly, glancing between Finn and me. "So kiss him."
I reached over and snagged the bottle, slamming the bright, fruity wine down my throat without tasting it at all. My body hummed with the desire to kiss Finn and the wrongness of doing it in front of Jackson.
The dangerous, exquisite wrongness.
I stepped forward, and stood on my tiptoes. Finn's eyes were so blue they resembled sapphires or the deep waters of the ocean. Were they always that dark? Or had they changed? Was I drunk? I had to be because I was straining upward to reach him, my hand snaking around his neck and pulling him down to me.
When my lips met his, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and sighed, melting against him. He groaned against my lips, freeing his hands from his pockets to let them wander around the small of my back, pulling me closer to him. I gasped against his mouth when I felt his hardness stab into my stomach. Undeniable, unbelievable hardness that had my core clenching in a second. If his hands weren't on me, holding me up, I might have just dropped to the floor in a puddle. His tongue swirled with mine, rough and dominating, devouring my mouth and filling my senses with him. His woodsy smell, the taste of the wine, the feel of his body under his clothes, the heat that rose from his skin and his sounds... His sounds, the muffled noises he made in his throat as he kissed me so hard I thought I might pass out.
When I pulled back, gasping, spots swam in front of my eyes for a moment. I blinked to see that Finn was staring at me, eyes darting back and forth as he searched my face for a second. I could hear his question hanging in the air, but he didn't ask it. Instead he let his hands drop. Stepping back he lifted his chin. "Kiss Jackson now," he commanded.
I looked back to see that Jackson had been watching us the whole time. His fists were clenched at his sides, white showing at his knuckles, stark against his olive skin. But his face was calm, almost... intrigued. No not intrigued. Interested.
Fascinated.
And deeply turned on.
I shook my head, starting to protest in spite of myself. This was wrong. This wasn't how things... worked.
But Finn shook his head — calm, composed and completely in charge. "You want him too," he said, and it wasn't a question. "So kiss him. Make your decision," Finn ordered.
I turned to see that Jackson was staring at Finn, but his eyes dragged away, landing on mine.
When he stepped forward, I closed my eyes, waiting for the searing heat of his mouth on mine, and when it came what little was left of me seemed to melt away.
From outside of myself I heard Finn's thick voice rasping orders. "Hold her, Jackson," he commanded. "Kiss her like you mean it."
Jackson groaned against my mouth, his tongue swirling against mine. I heard the sound of breath hitching, but I didn't know if it was mine or his... or his. "You should see this," Finn said in a voice I barely recognized. "How flushed she is. I bet her toes are curling right now."
At that, Jackson pulled back. His eyes were dark, so dark there was no more iris left, and his breath was coming quicker. "I want to see that," he said, his voice filled with dangerous promise. He took my arm, spinning me around. "Kiss her again," he told Finn. "Make her toes curl."
I yelped a little, finding myself passed between them, like this was a game, like this was a fantasy.
Except it was very real. Dangerously real.
When Finn took me by the arms, pulling me flush against his body, I gave myself over to his kiss, his different kiss, and wondered what it meant about me that I could to kiss one man while another man's taste still lingered in my mouth.
And what's more, that I liked it.