Chapter Forty

Harper

 

I gritted my teeth, as the fiery pain subsided and suddenly it was nothing more than a melting, spreading warmth.

Gray held still for a moment, holding himself there, allowing me to adjust to the strange, stretching sensation of being filled in both holes.

I grunted, low and deep, an animal sound I didn't recognize, but then again I didn't recognize any of this. I felt like I was falling apart, like I might dissolve into pieces, but at the same time both of their arms were holding me up, buoying me, lifting me upwards and I had no choice but to be held together by their love.

Their love.

Holy shit.

They love me.

"I love you," I repeated, moving myself, shifting and driving myself backwards. Gray responded with a low moan, and then he began to move. Slowly at first, while Cal matched his rhythm, and at first it was nothing more than quiet, desperate breath as we clung to each other. Hot, ragged gasps and whispered promises filled my ears, even as their cocks filled me, and my heart was so filled with every emotion walking the line between ecstasy and despair. I clung to them, because how could I give this up? How could I give both of them up? How could I do this to myself, but then again how could I do it to them?

The incessant warring noise in my brain fell away when Cal pressed his forehead to mine, so there was nothing in my sight but the bright blue of his eyes. He watched, lips parted, and I drowned myself in the abyss of that blue as everything broke open, all those pieces I was holding so carefully together fell apart.

I pulled myself up, driving myself down on both of their cocks at the same time, reveling in the painful pleasure.

It was too fucking overwhelming for me to do anything other than cry out both their names as the orgasm was wrenched from my body, sending me into toe-curling ecstasy. I pressed myself in closer, so tight I could barely breathe, but I needed it. I needed them to hold me together, because I was sure that this orgasm would tear me apart. When I heard Gray's low, shuddering moan in my ear, I nearly started crying. I buried my face in Cal's shoulder even as he rasped out his own animal grunts. And then suddenly I was crying, and I couldn't have told you why I was crying, except that I knew I had to tell them.

There wasn't any way that I could keep this a secret from either of them. It wouldn't the right because I loved them.

Both of them.

"Baby girl. God I've missed you so much," Cal said, shuddering lightly as he rained kisses down my neck and shoulders.

"You did good, baby. You did so good," Gray said, squeezing me ever so tighter.

"I love you," I said, my voice catching in a broken, ragged sound in my throat.

Cal pulled away, looking at me. Gently, the two of them pulled out, lowering me to the ground. Cal lifted me up in his arms and carried me over to the bed, laying me down gently before he stroked my hair back from my face. "You're crying," he said, his eyes widening. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Gray rushed over, laying down by my side, curling his body around mind. I grabbed his hand and held in tightly against my stomach as Cal stroked my shoulder over and over again. "I can't...I can't...I didn't want to tell you," I sputtered.

"Tell us what?" Cal sounded desperate.

"But I love you," I was babbling. "I can't do that to you."

"Harper, what the hell is going on?" Now Cal's voice was rising angrily. 

"Hey man, she's upset. Give her room," Gray said, pulling me more tightly against him.

"I'm sorry," Cal said through gritted teeth. He took a deep breath. "I want to help you with whatever it is, that's all. What's wrong?"

"Yeah, you know that we'll help you. We're there for you, no matter what, Harper." Gray added.

I let my head fall down onto the pillow. "No matter what?" I echoed. My body was still coming back to itself, my skin still flushed from the heat of our bodies together.

"Yes," Cal declared. "No matter what."

And there was such finality to his voice that I had no choice but to believe him.

I propped my head up, looking first at Cal, then at Gray, then up at the ceiling, unable to look at either one of them as I said, "Okay then. No matter what," I took a deep breath. "Because I'm pregnant."

All of the air left the room. Both of them sucked in their breath at once, and I suddenly felt like I couldn't get enough oxygen. I sat up, burying my head in my hands, trying to shut out the sound of their panicked breathing. I swear I could hear their heartbeats. Or maybe it was just my own. "I'm pregnant," I said again.

"How far along?" Gray finally whispered.

I looked up the wall. "Somewhere around eight weeks," I said. Then I turned to look to see his mouth twisting furiously. "Don't bother to do the math, pregnancy math is all fucked up. What that means is I actually got pregnant six weeks ago."

"Six weeks," Gray echoed. "That means..."

I turned to him and nodded. "Right, New Year's."

Cal was still absorbing. I could see it on his face. He was struggling, his head shaking a little bit. "But, we both..." he started to say. "That means..."

I hugged my knees to my chest and looked down miserably. "That's right," I said, completely and utterly defeated. "That means I don't know which one of you is the father."